In the years I have been homeschooling, I have lived in 7 different cities and been a part of many different types of homeschool groups. While my experience has been different from place to place, I have some pretty strong opinions about the usefulness (or lack thereof) of homeschool groups or co-ops.
Let’s dig into 6 different kinds of local homeschool groups to better understand how they can serve you or destroy you as a homeschooling family.
Homeschool Group Type #1
Homeschool Playgroup
Homeschool Playgroups are just what they sound like – a group of homeschool moms, bringing younger kids to a common area to play while they chat and swap stories and ideas. You most often find yourself in one of these early on in your homeschooling career when you only have small children and more time in your homeschooling day.
I was a part of a playgroup for several years when my oldest 4 kids were little (ages 8 and under). These are beneficial for moms who are feeling lonely because homeschooling has changed their lives and friendships, or for someone like me who had moved to a new town and wanted to make new friends.
The cautions of joining a homeschool playgroup are twofold.
- The moms. There are always bad apples in the bunch. These are the moms who don’t like their kids, don’t like homeschooling, complain about everything, and end up making others in the group uncomfortable or seriously doubt themselves.
- The kids. You know the ones…they scream, run, bite, kick, are mean and rude, and their moms never do anything about it. They make playgroup miserable, and you always hope they won’t show up.
You can try creating your own playgroup with your own set of friends, but if you are like me and YOU were the new girl in town, that isn’t feasible and you have to take what you can get. And once people start making “playgroup rules” it often spirals downward quickly and people get all sorts of sideways to each other. It’s better to just disband rather than make playgroup rules.
You will also find that moms with older and younger kids will not want to join in and bring their little ones to your playgroup. You may think this is rude of them, but trust me, they don’t have the time and energy for a playgroup, or the drama it often creates.
Homeschool Group Type #2
Relaxed Homeschool Group with Classes and/or Field Trips
This is where the most recent of my homeschool groups falls. There is a small membership fee, a handful of parent-taught classes happening once a week, plus there are a few activities and field trips scattered along the way. The rules are simple (like don’t let your kids run loose in the church building where we hold classes), and there are not a lot of expectations. For me, as a large family homeschooling mom, this is my sweet spot when it comes to homeschooling groups. I ain’t got time for a lot of expectations, rules, plans, and schedules. I need flexibility and calm.
The biggest caution with this type of homeschool group is if it is TOO relaxed. If you are paying for classes that don’t happen, it is a waste of money. If there are no real plans for any of the activities promised, it is a waste of time. And, if you are throwing your kids into a free-for-all homeschool group mess, you are going to regret it. “Date” the homeschool group before making a full-blown commitment to avoid something that may be more altercation than education.
Homeschool Group Type #3
Homeschool Co-Op
I see this as a different animal from the relaxed homeschool group. Typically, these groups are MUCH more organized, cost more, and require more from you as a parent. As a large family mom, I avoid these groups like the plague.
One group I looked into in a major metro area required a hefty membership fee, an individual class fee, and required me to work during the co-op in some capacity. That meant I either needed a babysitter to take care of my babies and toddlers while I worked, or I would have to take them along and be a stressed-out mess.
You really have to weigh the pros and cons with these groups. Is that Spanish class worth 4 hours a week of crazy town? Can you afford to pay for the classes plus a babysitter, or would your money be better spent buying a video, audio, or online curriculum that will suffice?
The best part of these groups is that they offer classes you may feel uncomfortable teaching your child, thus taking a significant load off your shoulders. It’s up to you to weigh the cost and decide what you can and cannot handle.
Homeschool Group Type #4
Program (or Practicum) Based Homeschool Classes
This is different from any of the groups above in that it is a set program of study, followed by everyone in the group. Sometimes it takes the form of a community school where kids go to classes a couple of times a week and are at home the rest of the time. Sometimes it is offered as a supplement to a particular curriculum. And sometimes it is meant to replace parental teaching altogether in favor of something that looks more like a charter school.
One very popular form of this model is Classical Conversations. You can also find many groups that affiliate themselves with a certain curriculum like My Father’s World or Tapestry of Grace, but these tend more toward the “relaxed homeschool group” model.
While a practicum-based group has never appealed to me because of my eclectic, spontaneous tendencies and my inability to follow a set schedule, many moms feel safe within the confines of a program-based homeschool experience.
Here are a few cautions I have about this type of homeschool group…
- Too strenuous. Some families find this type of program exhausting to keep up with. If you are dealing with a lot of stress in your life or you like a more relaxed homeschooling atmosphere, program-based homeschool groups are not for you.
- Too elitist. Unfortunately, some families involved in program-based groups come off as arrogant and puffed up by all the knowledge the classes have stuffed into their children’s heads. Beware of a group that touts itself as the premier educational experience and scoffs at all others. Homeschool groups should never be elitist.
- Too expensive. Often, program-based groups are expensive (this is not always true, so do your research first). It may be worth the cost, but you need to be certain what they offer corresponds with what they charge.
Ultimately, these groups should be worth your time and money, and offer enrichment to your homeschool, rather than cause a drain on your family.
Homeschool Group Type #5
Homeschool Clubs for Kids
Often, these groups are subsets of larger homeschool groups, but occasionally, they are startups by some ambitious homeschooled kid interested in a certain topic searching for others to enjoy that interest with him. They are almost always interest-based and rarely cost much of anything.
The biggest caution I have with these is that you should never leave your children unattended with a group of kids you have never met in a club you know nothing about. Is the club organized? Are other parents involved? Is the material age-appropriate? Does anything seem “off” about the group? (I know, that one is totally subjective, but sometimes you need to “go with your gut.”)
I also believe it is imperative you don’t run willy-nilly to every homeschool club or team out there. I’d encourage you to read my post on Choosing Extracurricular Activities for Your Kids to gain some insight into how to make wise choices for your family.
Homeschool Group Type #6
Homeschool Mom Support Group
In many respects, this type of homeschool group is at the top of my list of “must-have homeschool groups.” In most instances, moms are doing the lion’s share of the homeschooling, and it is draining. A solid homeschool mom support group can be a breath of fresh air, and a spot of encouragement just when mom needs it the most.
But, as with everything, these too can be wrecked by a “bad apple.” If the bad apple is the leader, leave…immediately. You will never get what you need from a group that is led by someone with poor theology, a negative outlook on life, or a draining personality. BUT, if the bad apple is one of the moms in the group and the leader is steadfast, the negativity and drain that person may have will never be enough to influence the group.
If the group has no leader, be aware of the undertones of the group’s dynamic. You want to avoid drama, cliquish issues, and husband-bashing if it happens on a regular basis or seems to involve a majority of the women in the group.
A homeschool mom support group is worth participating in if you feel refreshed, encouraged, and inspired at the end of the meeting. For many years, the mom’s group I attended was what kept me going. Those years I spent in that group continue to influence my homeschooling today. It was definitely time well-spent.
So, as you might have gathered, I don’t think homeschool groups are absolutely necessary, nor do I think they are a colossal waste of time. It is super important you count the cost, consider your needs, and make choices that are specific to your family’s needs.
Looking for a homeschool group in your area? Check out the listings on HSLDA’s website!
Sarah T. says
This is a really good post, Amy! I appreciate the way you non-guilt us moms! Yes, I don’t have time for play date groups! As my bigs have gotten older, I’ve found they really need the maority of the day to complete their schoolwork. I can’t have them out at the playground! ?
S.T. says
The ending question mark was supposed to be a smiley face. I should say, “I can’t have them out often at the playground.”
Janelle says
Thank you for this post.
Amy says
I’m sorry you’ve had so many poor experiences with homeschool groups! I grew up moving often and attended several homeschool groups of various types. They were not perfect but they completely enriched my education and they were the highlight of my high school years! Now with 4 kids of my own, I am doing the full range of groups with my own sweet kids. Each group has been beautiful for the season I was in!! Even the groups I didn’t “click” with as much brought opportunities for grace, love, and growth. I wouldn’t change any of these for the world! In fact, I worry about kids not given these opportunities… as I pastor’s wife I disciple young adults who were kept from this exposure as children and have serious issues (social and other) as a result. Hoping you can find a beautiful messy community for your family!
Amy says
Most of my experiences have been awesome! I just don’t think a group is necessary, and I have seen some very stressful situations arise for people who think they have to have a group and stay in one that isn’t a good fit.
Vicki -- Everyday Homemaking says
Great information. And thanks for the link to HSLDA at the end, to help folks connect with their own “village.” 🙂 My local support group was my lifeline during our homeschool years, and we even had a budget friendly, family-based co-op “subset” activity, so we had the best of both worlds!
Amy says
The HSLDA resource has helped me more than once! It is my hope that all homeschool groups out there (no matter how big or small, traditional or unique) would make sure they get on the list so they can be found!
Jen says
Our local homeschool group is a combination of relaxed (Thursday afternoon classes, little to no fees, meant to be enriching not stressful), and a monthly moms only meeting (which is my favourite part.
We do ‘have to’ sign up to teach or help with some classes, or to lead a devotional or bring food for the moms meeting, but we also get to input what we’d like to teach or have our kids learn.
Amy says
I was a part of a group like that once as well. It was nice that there were less stressful options available for me to participate in during months of morning sickness and tiny babies.
Sarah h says
Thank you for this great breakdown of different types of groups. What would be your suggestions for how a homeschool mom support group should look like?
Amy says
This might look like a group that gets together to do a Bible study or online class or some such thing, but the one I was a part of that was so dear to me was fashioned after some of Sally Clarkson’s writings – particularly Educating the Wholehearted Child. The woman leading the group was very dynamic and had a heart for weary homeschooling moms. Dear, dear memories there.
Nancy says
I am so thankful to hear these words! We are just starting our homeschool journey. We’ve looked into a few of the local groups, but just don’t think that they are a good fit for us at this time! That may change later. Your post has encouraged me to know that it’s ‘ok’ to not ‘have to be’ a part of a group for a season! Thanks again 🙂
Amy says
Sometimes it is just the season and place you are in, and God knows this. It certainly is ok. 🙂
Sarah Soriano says
This is great! I have been feeling so guilty for not staying with the huge co-op model, but it just was not working for us. It seemed like we were doomed to a life of no community if we didn’t stay with the mega-large, mega-fee group. I appreciate you helping me let it go 🙂
Amy says
You are welcome 🙂
Courtney says
Thank you for this article. I’d like to share my story, not just to get this off my own chest, but to speak out in agreement that yes, homeschool moms (and dads) *do* have to be very careful and discerning about choosing a homeschool group, not just because of “stranger danger”, but there are groups out there that any *Christian* family should avoid, and there definitely are warning signs that shouldn’t be ignored, despite your well-meaning desire to socialize your kids. I finally had to “break up” with our local homeschool group that we tried out for the first time last school year, and let me tell you, what an enormous sense of relief has come from knowing I’m doing the right thing for our family! We all want our kids to have ample opportunities to socialize with other kids, I know, and I’m no different. I put up with this place for too long, frankly, because they’re they only place of their kind in town that’s specifically for homeschoolers.
Well, this place isn’t run by Christians, and I tolerated that. It’s mostly attended by secular or outright new age and pagan families, and I tolerated that. They offer a regular kids’ yoga class, and I tolerated that, thinking, well, my kid won’t be taking that class. They offered classes that were *okay*, but I wasn’t overly impressed by the materials available, the cleanliness of the place or the classes themselves, but, I told myself, that’s okay for now, as they “only” charge about $10 per hour and they’re super nice and good with the kids, even if they’re a bit permissive and allow kids to run barefoot on the tabletops (gross!).
Well, I started getting irritated with the fact that classes often didn’t fulfill what they claimed on the class description list, and my daughter would be disappointed, and we all know what it’s like to see your child disappointed repeatedly by someone–not cool. I also started getting truly bothered by the fact that my daughter was spending so much time around kids whose parents allowed their little girls (6-10 year olds) to dye their hair outrageous colors, wear makeup, miniskirts and the like (one poor girl looked like Wednesday Addams, no more than 8 years old, with dyed black hair, black eyeliner, black lipstick and revealing clothing). I was already feeling major conviction about all of these things, and was beginning to “wean” my daughter off of that program (which she was enjoying, not knowing any better), signing her up for only an hour a week even though we had paid for a full school year of 4 hours/week through our charter school. Well, the final straw fell when, at the beginning of this year, they announced that they would be hiring a new “leader” who would also be teaching a special class called “Empower Me Art”, for girls ages 10-15 only……where they would, yes, make art, *and* learn *all* about “female empowerment”, and the instructor would “facilitate and encourage discussions about female sexuality, passion and *pleasure*” (I kid you not)! In California, where the obscenity laws are very lax, people can offer such classes, and parents *are*, sadly, well within their legal rights to sign their children up for such perversion.
Well, I made a concerned comment on our counties’ homeschool Facebook page where the class was advertised, and received a kill-you-with-kindness response basically letting me know that they respect my freedom to not attend the class (lol), and that they’d pass my concerns on to the instructor (eyeroll). None of the other nearly 700 members of the group shared my concerns, or felt bold enough to say something (to give you an idea of the state of the world, at least in Northern California). Well, that class is starting its’ second 6-week session, and I am *never giving that place another dime*! Blessedly, my kids don’t even ask about the place anymore, they weren’t upset at all, we have more school funds to use on other classes, school supplies, science kits and field trips, *and* we have more time for Christian fellowship now. Win-win-win!
S.T. says
That is SO sad!
Tara says
I visited a large co-op a few years ago. I so wanted it to work. I came home and relayed the experience to my husband who encouraged me to start my own small one with a few close friends. It was the better option for our family.
It is a true co-op so moms all have to teach, but we are each able to teach a subject that we enjoy. I get to do a literature club, another friend is does unit studies with the younger kids and two friends do the science exprierments from the science curriculum we all do.
Amy says
I spoke with Sally Clarkson years ago, lamenting the fact that I was struggling to find a good homeschool group. She said EVERY homeschool group she’d participated in SHE had started! I ended up starting my own in the city we were in because of that. Sometimes that is the only way.
Hockey Mom says
I really appreciate these conversations: I’ve been in many homeschool groups and I usually choose the free ones, but the ones that have a small pay and a leader and a plan, do much better. Children left to themselves usually do the wrong thing. (Proverbs 29:13). This is why teachers learn to lead and to plan during their training. I don’t mean supper strict, it should be fun, but a definite direction. Also, if it’s a social play group, you still have to have a leader to set the tone, or someone new will come in and see an opportunity to show off and change the group on you. We’ve had a “closed to new families” social group once a month for a few years, then we just “opened” it to invite a few nice new families, but if the boundaries are not set, it will change. Boundaries include the Time, what snacks to bring, balls only in the gym, play nicely, help clean up, discuss issues politely, etc. My grandmother raised 6 kids without much help or Bible studies but just church and her husband and her mom (around once a year). She warned me about socializing with different people who have different values. I’m backing out of a group because I do need to focus on our family’s activities and don’t have time for juggling the groups right now. I do want my oldest daughter to go to college at some point and the other kids don’t have that on their radar. So I’m signing up for specific classes, and field trips, not necessarily homeschool classes and focus on homework and the household at home.