Back to the homeschooling questions. (I know, I took a long break and some of you may have even forgotten I was answering questions!)
This is from Diana…
I love the fact that I am their teacher but I was a child who loved most of my teachers and it€™s hard to let go of that feeling that the kids are missing out on learning from other people by almost always being in my care.
She goes on to ask about Mommy Guilt (which we all know lurks at every corner even if you DON’T homeschool).
The very first blog post I ever wrote told of my original plan when it came to my children and school. I was going to stay home and bake cookies while they were down the street at the big brick public elementary school learning their ABC’s from Someone Else.
Someone Else was going to be in charge and Someone Else was going to make my life much easier. Besides, I loved all my elementary school teachers…well, most of them…and elementary school classrooms are so bright and cheery and fun, why in the world would I keep them at home where they might miss out on something?
For some homeschool mamas, the answer is to create School At Home…provide the same atmosphere, provide the same field trips, involve their child in every activity available so there will be no chance they will miss out.
For others, there comes a paradigm shift.
I fall into the second category.
Let me first off say, how you set up school and the activities you provide are totally up to you, but if you have more than one child and no teacher’s aide, you may someday burnout from all the work it takes to “keep up”. {Ask me how I know} School At Home is hard to maintain no matter how “fun” you make it. You would do better to pick a few things that are highly important to you and leave the rest for another year.
As for shifting your paradigm and changing your vision…
It is my humble opinion every homeschool family needs to reach this point.
Homeschooling is not all Pros and no Cons. There will be things you cannot possible manage to do and you will sometimes feel as though your children are missing out. On the not so great days, you will need something to fall back on and that something will inevitably be the WHY behind your reason for homeschooling.
OK, so practically speaking, let me address a few of the things your children will “miss out” on:
1. Being taught by someone else – This was Diana’s concern. While it is true, they will not be taught by a traditional school teacher, they will be taught by other people at some point. My children have been taught by astronauts, museum volunteers, rocket scientist, geologists, medical doctors, writers, and the list goes on and on and on. They have been able to converse one on one with people whom most public school children never even get to meet, let alone have a long conversation with, simply because we homeschool and can go places when very few others are around vying for that person’s attention. This is true teaching from the source and has much more of an impact on the child.
2. Sports – This is more important to some families than to others. Most larger homeschooling communities have some sort of sports program or gym time where the children can play sports, but I would encourage you to assess why you want them to play sports and consider if there are other things your children do that accomplish the same things you are looking for. For instance, is it the competition? Our family has other activities that foster a healthy sense of competition like Boy Scouts. Is it the camaraderie or the exercise? Again, we choose our homeschool Boy Scout troop for these reasons. But, honestly, you don’t even really need a replacement activity like Scouts to accomplish these goals. Competition, camaraderie and exercise can easily be had amongst siblings in the family unit.
3. The classroom – Really, what we are dealing with here are memories…yours, to be exact. Many of us have fond memories of the classroom atmosphere. We worry our children will miss out on these memories. What we fail to realize is that they are making other sorts of memories that will be just as fond to them as your memories of the public school classroom.
You might also be worried they are missing out on the classroom style of learning that they will need in college. First of all, not all children will go to college. Those that do will more than likely have ample opportunity, even as homeschoolers, to experience the classroom atmosphere prior to entering college. My children have been to lectures, meetings, and other such functions that are set up just like a classroom in college will be. They know not to just blurt out things without being acknowledged and other such “classroom etiquette”.
4. Socialization – My very first suggestion is grab yourself a copy of The Socialization Trap
by Rick Boyer. Excellent little book on the subject. Secondly, consider the kind of socialization that occurs at school. Nine year olds teaching other nine year olds how to think and act with little to no guidance from adults is downright dangerous. Our children have friends, but they have us nearby as well. As they age and mature, they are given more and more freedom to make decisions on their own.
Honestly, the best kind of socialization takes place well outside the confines of age-segregated schools. My children have talked to World War II veterans, played in sandboxes with babies, had tea parties with grandparents, and be exposed to a myriad of age groups. Through it all, they have learned how to relate to all ages, not just a select few. That is true socialization.
These are the 4 biggies when it comes to kids “missing out” by not being in school. I hope you see, when it is all broken down that the children really aren’t missing out after all. Much of what we fear aren’t things worth fearing when we take a closer look at them.
celee says
We sent our kids to school for the first few years while I was working and the girls do miss it. They miss the Hoe Downs and the Sock Hops. My second daughter doesn’t really have any friends her age because her violin lessons are private and she’s the youngest on her swim team and we go to a small church that doesn’t have any girls her age. I’m sorry for her about this, but we just tell her that her relationship with her brothers and sisters will last longer than any friendship anyway. And I love that she plays so well with her older sister and younger brother. I didn’t like it that my kids lives were so separate from one another when they were in school. We have a wonderful elementary school near us and have had a great experience with them. We’ll probably continue to send our Kindergarteners there and maybe for first grade. But I wouldn’t give up our time of devotions and reading literature/history together each day for anything. It’s almost impossible for a mother of 5 or 6 to be involved in all of her kids’ classrooms and I love that I’m right in the middle of them here at home. Hopefully our girls will appreciate that someday.
.-= celee´s last blog ..Forgiving others: Is it an option? =-.
amanda says
great post!
i read the socialzation trap book, while i didn’t agree with every single point he made, it was overall a good book. and agree highly with other nine year olds teaching mine. UM NO! lol.
and i never looked at it’s my memories of school i *think* they’d be missing out on. i have no desire to send them to school, so i’m glad that one hasn’t overwhelmed my thoughts!!
Luke Holzmann says
We participated in community sports opportunities, like our local club swim team. Worked out great for us!
And the classroom? I attended a public high school and I have far fonder memories of curling up on the couch with a great book than sitting in the uncomfortable desk-chairs [smile].
Great post!
~Luke
Autumn Walton says
As we contemplate homeschooling this is one of the big concerns I have… will they be missing out. Thanks for this post.
Betty says
Great post. We are another homeschool that does most subjects outside the text book. I agree that there is a time and place for some textbook use, but so much can be learned outside the classroom. As far as socialization. It bothers me so much when I try to converse with other children who are my children’ ages. They look at me like a have four heads and then act quite rude. To me socialization is the ability to converse and behave around multiple generations of people at one time.
http://peacecreekontheprairie.com/2010/04/schoolhouse-expo-giveaway.html
Amy says
I’ve experienced much the same thing. And I love that life IS school!
Saidah @ aproverbswife.com says
I feel somewhat fortunate to have had the experience of having homeschooled and public schooled my children. They have gleaned some good experiences from public school such as socialization, sports and memories of a great teachers. Having been on both sides of the track the benefits that are achieved from having them at home a far greater than what they miss in public school.
My children, ages 16, 9, 7 & 6 have a very close relationship which is cultivated daily as they interact. I also find that I have a very close relationship with my children built on trust and love.
They really enjoy the privilege of having there studies fine tuned to their personalities and learning styles.
.-= Saidah @ aproverbswife.com´s last blog ..FREE Online Finance Community =-.
Kate says
My husband was homeschooled all the way and started college at 16. He did fine. His younger sister now works at a university. She obviously did fine too (she finished her master’s at age 22). We are planning to home school and I just don’t think that my children will miss out.
My MIL says that people thought she was crazy. And now they wonder why her children are doing so well while theirs are slacking off, mouthing off, having children out of wedlock, etc. Some say she’s just “lucky” (which drives me NUTS!). But really…it’s because she made sacrifices for them and taught them herself in a way a teacher who doesn’t truly care about them could never do. I don’t care HOW much a teacher says she cares about her students, she doesn’t care as much as their parents. And that is really important.
Corine says
I was both public schooled and homeschooled, and the best mix for me was one or two “fun” classes (like cooking) at the public school, and the rest at home. My senior year I went back to public school full time; and the biggest thing I learned was that I was thankful to be my own person.. a virgin who wasn’t at all ashamed of it… a follower of Christ… and someone who felt good about who I was and didn’t cave in the least to peer pressure. I had my mother to thank for that for homeschooling me, loving me, and teaching me. 🙂 I could never regret homeschooling, and I don’t think my experience is terribly isolated. I hope your children end up being thankful for homeschooling, too. 😀
.-= Corine´s last blog ..Spiritual Sunday ~ Thornless Roses =-.
missy says
This was a great post about homeschooling. We are finishing up our 9th year and even on the worst of days, I wouldn’t have it any other way. I don’t think my children would be the same if I had sent them to school. I love seeing who they are and becoming. Not a clone of others. And I love books by the Boyers but haven’t read this one. I will need to get it too. Missy in TN
Nicki Bourgeois says
Amy,
Awesome advice, as usual! Thanks for always reassuring us newbies. Also, please make note of my new blog address!
Nicki
Rachel says
This is our eighth year of homeschooling and I can truly say that I am more and more comfortable and confident in our family’s decision. As far as socialization I honestly have to limit activities….we could socialize all day and get no academics accomplished!
Great post Amy! I remember reading your first post ever. How time flies.
.-= Rachel´s last blog ..one ways =-.