When you have more than one child you are homeschooling and they are all little, it feels like everyone needs you all the time. How do you homeschool with a lot of little kids?
Most homeschooling families have a wide age range of children they are schooling, so not only are they finding themselves bouncing between subjects and grades, they often have babies, toddlers, and preschoolers to account for as well. Diapers need to be changed. Toddlers need to be pulled off of counter tops. And someone still needs to teach the 5 year old to read!
It seems everyone needs mama all the time!
One Raising Arrows reader described it like this…
“Today when we sat down to do [my son’s] 15 minute read aloud, I had
to wipe a bottom, take the 16 month old climber off of the table, wipe up a
spill from said baby on the table before everyone was soaking wet and
slipping, and intervene when my 2 year old started throwing pots and
pans at the window. And that’s just one subject for one child!”
Honestly, we all have days like this, and sometimes they simply cannot be avoided. But, if every day is like this, we have a problem because nothing ever gets accomplished but putting out fires.
We have to find a new system, a new way of doing things that actually works.
Need help keeping the house clean while you homeschool?
You need my book:
Home Management for the Homeschool Mom!
How to Homeschool with Multiple Ages
The following ideas work for a variety of ages and stages. You may not have big kids yet, but you can still glean possibilities from those sections!
One quick and easy, yet still educational, way to occupy some of your kids while you work with others is to use Reading Eggs!
Try Reading Eggs for FREE for 4 weeks!
CLICK HERE TO JOIN!
Independent Older Children
My older two kids (who are still in our home) work almost entirely independently (ages 14 and 15). Every now and then, my 15 year old will need math help, but for the most part, they are in charge of managing their time and workload. This has been their norm since they were both about 13.
My next two oldest kids are 11 and 9. They have several subjects they can do independently as well. They work on those while I work with the younger crew first thing in the morning.
Even my 5 and 7 year olds have work they can do on their own. I start them young and train them toward this kind of independence. It takes a load off of me and helps them to be self-starters and responsible.
READ >> Independent Learning – Teaching Kids to Homeschool Themselves
OR LISTEN >> How Your Kids Can Homeschool Themselves
Morning Meetings
When my oldest was 18 and only had two subjects to finish up before starting college in the Fall, I started having Morning Meetings with him.
He was more than willing to help out with the schooling and taking care of crazy toddlers, but I also wanted to respect his personal schedule. So, every morning, we would go over what we both hoped to accomplish during the day, what we both needed help with, and then come to a logical plan for the day.
But, the Morning Meeting isn’t just for 18 year olds!
For instance, you could meet with everyone and line out the day, including who is in charge of what chores, who is the kitchen helper, who is the baby helper, etc. It gives a starting point to your day, and is especially helpful when your life seems to be a bit messy.
NOTE: Why not put your daily schedule on a dry erase board during your Morning Meeting?! Read about my dry erase board schedule, and check out these options from Amazon:
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE>>
Teaching Older Kids to Help Younger Siblings (without being bossy)
Keep Everyone in One Place
When everyone needs you, it’s best to keep everyone in the same vicinity so you aren’t running all over the house! My younger crowd sits at the dining room table so I can stand and move from child to child, helping them with math, phonics, handwriting, etc. The only time I change this is when I have a child who needs to read aloud, then we move to the couch.
When I have a baby, I keep them in a high chair as long as possible, so they are near the dining room table. I also give the toddler busy work at the table to keep them occupied for a little while.
Here’s a high chair similar to what we have:
I really like how this seat accommodates infants through toddlers. I can have baby at the table with us from a very early age!
Purchase “Helpers”
Wouldn’t it be great if you had a nanny living with you?! However, that’s not often feasible for the average homeschool mom, but guess what…the average homeschool mom still needs HELP!
So, if you can’t purchase a nanny, how about purchasing a “helper” of a different sort!
Like my toddler play-yard!
The play-yard in the photo is this one:
The reviews suggested you would need the extra panels, so I bought those too, but ended up returning them because this play-yard really was enough for one or two kiddos.
Sometimes baby loves it in there, and sometimes not so much. I don’t leave her in there fussing because a crying baby is not calming in any way, shape, or form. If she doesn’t want to be in there and I still need to keep her contained, I will put her in the high chair (see above) or put her in a sling.
READ >> How to Make a Homemade Baby Carrier
You may need to have a season of letting the little ones watch a video in another room, take a walk or play outside with a sibling, have play time in a playpen, or give them special toys for school time (see our Toddler Box for ideas!)
My kids love to “play” on Reading Eggs!
There are learning games for even your littlest kids.
GET A FREE TRIAL NOW!
READ >> How I Occupy My Busy Preschooler
And it is ok to enlist the help of your older children. You are not treating them like slave labor. You are a family, and families help each other out. Don’t take each other for granted, and play as hard as you work, but don’t let guilt make you feel like a rotten parent for asking your family to help out.
Maybe Your School Time is the Wrong Time
It might not feel like there is enough of you to go around because there isn’t!
Take a step back from homeschooling for a day or two and assess what your day really looks like. When are you most often needed to change diapers and wipe bottoms? When are the little ones the craziest?
Believe it or not, there is an actual rhythm to your life, and if you wait until those things happen before starting something intensive like a read-aloud, everyone will feel more relaxed.
Give some time to your little ones first, if that’s what they need. Wait until nap time if that’s what you need. You do not have to do school at 8 o’clock sharp in order to do it “right.”
To learn how to make the perfect schedule for your homeschool
TAKE MY CLASS!
Creating a Homeschool Schedule You Love!
It’s Okay to Not Be Everything to Everyone All the Time
I am forever telling my children they must not interrupt. They must wait their turn. They must work quietly until I can get to them. They must realize Mommy is not a robot (which always invokes giggles as they imagine what I would look like as a robot). They must not repeat themselves 400 times before I can actually get a response out. They must learn they are not always number 1.
It’s called DEFERENCE, and it’s something sorely lacking in our culture.
Responsible adults learn to defer to others on occasion. They learn when to speak, and when to be silent, they learn to be generous and gracious. And it starts in the home when Mommy says, “Put your hand on my arm and I will acknowledge you when I’m finished explaining something to Suzy.”
It takes a lot of time and patience, but eventually, you will see your children become understanding of your human limitations and their need to be patient.
READ >> Practical Ideas for Having Enough of Me to Go Around
So, there you have it – some of my favorite tips for homeschooling when it seems like everyone needs you every single second of the day. It really can be done, but you have to think outside the box and be willing to let go of some of the things you *think* you know about homeschooling with lots of littles.
I’d encourage you to listen to my podcast:
How to be a Relaxed Homeschool Mom
It will help you with those unrealistic expectations that plague many a homeschool mom!
MamakatHryn says
Thank you! What a timely post. I really appreciate the wisdom you share with us readers.
Any specific tips for what to do when you have ALL littles? My children are 7,6,4,2, and 5 months. There are a lot of days I feel like I’m being pecked at. The worst of it is all the guilt I put on myself. We are trying to have a “rich” homeschool experience, but it is a struggle to just get the basics done. What does a realistic homeschool day look like when your oldest is only in 1st grade? I admit we are struggling through a “boxed” curriculum. I thought having everything planed out for us would be helpful and save time, but sometimes feels like a never ending checklist of all I cannot accomplish.
Becky says
I used to have such guilt when I couldn’t check all the boxes! What I had to do was par down to the minimum. What HAD to be done for state laws and what could wait till they were a bit older? I moved read aloud to bedtime, and did as much as I could at nap time. Hope this helps a little! Hang in there Mama! ????
H says
In first grade, we kept school to 3 hours and did it while the younger kids were napping in the afternoon. Put them down for naps at 1 and immediately went to the subjects we could not do with them present – math, reading, etc. Saved Bible, art, and science for the last hour, bc if they woke up those were things they could semi-participate in, or at least the distractions weren’t as hard to handle. I also insisted that my 4 y.o.’s spent at least an hour in their bed at nap time, not just for my own sanity, but for their health – their little bodies need rest, and they get too wound up if they don’t get a break during the day. I would put a door hanger on the inside of the door and remove it after one hour – if the hanger was still on the doorknob, that meant it was still nap time. That prevented them from getting up to ask if it was time to get up yet every five minutes… If they did get up to ask, I would remind them about the door hanger and tell them they had just added 10 minutes to nap time – didn’t take too long to figure out. And if they happened to fall asleep during nap time – which they often did – so much the better. 😉
rebecca says
Can I add my own thoughts??
Our kids are 9,8,7,5,3,almost 2 and 8 months so I hear what you’re saying!
I just want to encourage you that you CAN do it and do it well. But sometimes we have to redefine what a “good” job looks like for us.
One of the best things I did was sit down with my husband and discuss what we felt was MOST important for the kids to learn (which was reading, writing, math and character training and studying the bible for us)
Once that was established I was able to focus on these things and if the others did not get done regularly it was OK!
We fit in the other subjects and interests into life how they fit best (units, seasons, etc.)
Also- to be honest we don’t have a curriculum. We mix and match! The oldest now in gr. 4 but I still mix and match several subjects and I use some different things for different kids. My girls love colour and “action” in their books, but my son likes straightforward work… so I’ve adapted to what peaks their interest the most and get books that suit their personalities.
AND it has been amazing that with much prayer God has provided us with just the right books on a tight budget! Prayer works! Even a garage sale or our local MCC thrift store had exactly the book and grade I was looking for. God has amazed me many times over!
Also USE the playpen or playyards! I have 2 playpens set up every day and the little ones have turns in them. DON’T feel guilty using them. I used to, but have discovered the little ones actually have come to enjoy “safe’ time on their own that no one is touching their toys or bugging them!
PLUS I have a closet of toys that are NOT used for regular play but have bins of special toy sets (knights/castles, farm and tractors, train sets, etc) and we pull one out every day for about an hour that the little boys (5,3,almost 2) can play with in a designated area while the big kids do school work. after the time the toy bin is cleaned up and put away.
the 5 year old has some school time as well of course, but I start the big kids out with school first and let him play awhile before I shift my focus on to him.
We ALL sit together for bible time and group time (read aloud- whatever subject we are working through- science, etc.).
Anyway, these are some ideas that I got from other moms (Like Amy and Large Families on Purpose) and have adapted them to work for us! It took some trial and error and adjustments with new seasons and new babies, but a basic successful routine is KEY to making progress every day 🙂 and PRAYER!
All the best- you can do it!
Emily says
Lol, getting “pecked at” 🙂 Love that! My kiddos are 9, 7, 4, 2, and 6 months and I completely understand where you’re coming from!! 🙂 After this last baby was born it has been a struggle to get to our new normal and not get myself worked up about the things my kids are “missing.” Lots of prayer and I’ve found that focusing on discipling my children (Bible reading or a book like “Leading Little Ones to God”), the basics (reading, writing and a little math) and having playtime is the best for us right now. Hugs!!
Amy says
Well, I’m not a fan of boxed curriculum used “as is.” A first grader doesn’t require a lot of seatwork (30 mins – 1 hr), and the rest should be spent outside, creatively playing, and even time left to himself to think and play. So, I’d encourage you to figure out what pieces of the curriculum you are using should be put where in your day, and what needs to be left out entirely. You can do it in a different order, and include your other children as much as possible in the pieces that allow for that.
MELISSA says
Your boxed curriculum is either asking too much of your first grader and you, or not right for you. 1st graders don’t need to do that much! Switch, adapt, pare it down. Also I like the idea others suggested of doing some of it during the little ones’ naptime. I don’t do this, but we are usually finishing up with read-alouds during that time which is much more peaceful.
Anne says
When everyone is little, a “rich” experience includes lots of outdoor play time, indoor creative play time, and story time. You can give your oldest ones a few minutes of one-on-one time for them to read aloud to you a few times a week during times with the littler ones are napping or playing peacefully.
It doesn’t sound like enough, but I’ve been there. I’ve done this. It works. 🙂 You’ll keep feeling like it isn’t enough for a long time, but by diligently reading to them and providing them space to play, you’ll find that your children will be richly educated.
CabotMama says
Your words washed over me like a cool summer rain after days of hot sun. Thank you – especially for your reassuring last paragraph. So counter to our culture, we need to hear it again and again.
Deb says
I want to post this in all gentleness and respect, because I am pretty sure you have no desire to alienate people with the opening line of your blog post.
I think it is likely false that “most” homeschooling families have a wide age range of children. And I know that small families often feel like they will be unwelcome or judged in the homeschooling community (even if they desperately wish they could have more children). However in reality, homeschooling has become quite common and many small families homeschool. And encouraging the stereotype that homeschooling is only really for large families or people who aspire to them seems unwise.
But my bigger concern is that I’m sure there are small homeschooling families who read your blog. And to find themselves relegated to the category of “other” and “not normal” in the first sentence of a blog post can be quite painful. While it would be more accurate to say “Some” homeschooling families, since you are primarily aimed at large families, even adding the word “large” between “most” and “homeschooling” would make for a much more welcoming sentence.
I know that being a large family in our society as a whole can be quite difficult, I am sure you experience being relegated to “other” and “not normal” quite often. So I’m sure you can sympathize.
Blessings.
Christine says
Great post. It is nice to know our house is not the only one where little ones continually interrupt! I thought I was bad with discipline.
A says
Thank you, Amy, this is a great post! I’ve been in need of some (ha, lots!) of encouragement lately and this is very helpful 🙂
Rebecca says
I don’t have littles anymore my oldest is 14 and the youngest is 10. However my 14 year old cannot work alone. If I don’t sit next to him he gets nothing finished. How do you teach someone to work independently? My other three do just fine and I help them when they need it, but he struggles with it. It’s so frustrating and time consuming and sometimes it bothers the other three. Not to mention that he needs to work alone as he enters the high school years.
Amy says
I’ve written on this in my ebook – Large Family Homeschooling, and I found a post I did for Simple Homeschool years ago – http://simplehomeschool.net/raising-an-independent-learner/, but I think I need to update and write a bit more here on the blog about this. It is something we landed on naturally, but I’ve had so many people ask me over the years about it, it has forced me to consider what we are doing “naturally” that created this atmosphere. Read that post, and I’ll put a note in my blog stuff that I need to write a post here on the topic!
rebecca says
Great post Amy. Love your last paragraph!!! SOO important 🙂
Sabrina says
This is excellent, I don’t have as many kids and haven’t been homeschooling as long but these are all the tips I would give a mom with this problem as well!!! I think I will need to start utilizing my play yard more often soon since he baby is really starting to get into things. I had a large playpen called a Joovy Room2 (got it from Amazon) that is great for the just starting to move around phase, it is larger than a regular playpen but up off the ground for babies who are just starting to scoot or sit. Just an idea to add to the collection!
Also just be flexible. While your routine and timing may work today three months from now it may need adjusting when the toddler drops to one nap a day or the baby starts crawling. Be willing to flex the schedule as needed!
Amy says
Oooo! I’m going to have to check into that playpen! I’ve been thinking about getting another one that just sits in the living room.
Tirza says
This was great! We have five kids under the age of 6! Two are doing kindergarten and a preschooler, then a toddler and a preemie who is now 17 months. I constantly feel pulled in every direction. It has been quite the learning process for myself, I will definitely use some of these tips!
Joshspearl says
Thank you, Thank you, Amy! I read your post this morning before starting school because it resonated with where I am this week–including toddler on the table, etc. The Lord reminded me that my husband brought a play yard home from a garage sale several months ago for use in our barn, but it was still sitting in the box un-used. Oh my! 45 minutes of quiet to work with my older children! I couldn’t be happier. The 4.5 year old put herself in the play yard with the 18-month old (it must have looked fun!) and they played happily and quietly. Thank you for the reminder to use the tools we have available!
Amy says
My 3 year old will often get in there with my little one too! LOVE IT!
Misty says
Such good advise. If only I can walk it out.
And it looks like you have my toddler. Wish I could put a pic!
Michelle says
Great post, and so well timed! I have 2 independent (15, 15) another mostly independent (11), a very “reactive” child (10 – dealing with severe food and environmental issues that affect everything from her skin to her brain to inter and intra personal relationships), 8 yo w/cerebral palsy, 6 yo, 5 yo, who is eager to learn to read, 3 yo and 9 mo.
Most days we do fairly well, thanks to my MIL helping out.
Today was like herding cats! Seriously tough!
Thankful these days are not the norm, and praising God that this one is over.
Jessica says
Thank you so much for addressing this for me Amy! I tend to feel guilt about not being more hands on with my older kids, but I’m seeing that I really shouldn’t be as I’ve (thankfully by the grace of God) set them up to be successful on their own. I’m going to have his read aloud time be reading TO the littles so everyone is engaged and yet I can still make sure he’s reading and progressing. I’m definitely going to get a play yard and try that too!
Since asking about this, I’ve also culled ALL the toys that drive me crazy and that makes things seem more peaceful and quiet. I also got a baby backpack carrier that has changed my life! And truthfully, I’ve made getting myself to bed at a reasonable hour a priority, because it helps me feel less frazzled about the daily interruptions that are just a part of life with children.
Thank you for the encouragement!!
Natalie says
Thank you for mentioning “deference,” explaining both what it looks like and putting a name to it. THAT’S what we need to be working on right now in our home (especially as we are trying to prepare the kids for some reverse culture shock later this year). Reading all your musts and must nots gave me some “oh good, my kids are normal” relief!
I try to keep my two school aged kids at the table together while my toddler naps, but sometimes they distract each other too much. My oldest struggles to focus on her own work when her younger brother is doing something different. “Why does he have less to write? Why does his math book have different pictures?” But they’re both at the stage where I need to constantly monitor them and prod them along to the next task.
Joanna Everett says
Hi for our family 5 with 4 of them 5 and under and one 10 year old I have found that a rotating to do list works really well. One day maybe a work day another a play at the park day another quiet time and exercise for mom and another a school day. That means that some days the house is a mess and school is not done. This conclusion came from a very tearful worn out braxton hicks enduring regret filled mamma who finally gave in and gave up SURRENDER. We live in a state that is ok with unschooling and relaxed schooling and we homeschool all year. If we miss a day of school the kids dont stop learning they just learned something other than what was already written out for them to learn. If we go to the park we can count that as phys ed, science as we explore seasons and environments, cultures as we meet new people. Learning is not only what has been prepackaged learning is allowing the mind to be active. If we sit in the house they cut they color they invent they learn interpersonal skills they learn safety they learn pet care they learn about babies they learn from computer games and youtube they learn that moms make mistakes they learn they make mistakes but moms still loves them they read they learn to read. All that playing is learning in disguise. If your family is in a rut splurge on something educational either with your time watch that documentary show that has eighty episodes that your kids want to watch but you cant because you wont get your school done. Splurge and do the chores for your kids so they have time to bond instead of cleaning one more toy that will be there five minutes from now anyway. Go on that nature walk get fresh air that you want to go on but you cant because so in so will throw a fit if they miss their nap they will probably fall asleep in the car anyway. Splurge on the toy that you want to buy the kids and they want you to buy but you cant because you have to spend x amount of money on the torture device called curriculum skip the curiculum buy the toy and watch your child engage watch that engagement turn into an interest watch that interest turn into a passion watch that passion turn into a career isnt that why we do this any way. I know its not fair to my oldest but I am so tired of TRYING I want to enjoy. Dont get me wrong I still say no a whole lot more than I say yes I still raise my voice in an ungentle way…but Im trying and so are they we are all learning and thats why its called homeschool not school at home. Just being a family at home teaches so much. The society from day one tries to make us a number with our social security number. I am not anti establishment for the record. We are not a number to pass from one set of learning objectives year by year we are people we are individuals and each individual we are raising are learning individual things for their future individual lives. God will show you lean into this season and dont wish it away it will be gone soon enough and you will miss the noise and even I think the mess and the meals. They can catch up I did. I graduated at 16 I was all fs and sent to an alternative schooling opportunity. I did in three months what I was told would take 3 years with a 4.0. God bless you on your journey!
katie says
When do you have time for a tea and reading your own books?….the scene above does sound like an overwhelmed teacher in mainstream school. But those teachers at least have a lunch break. I only have two kids but what i realised is they learn more from BEING than from DOING. I send you so many blessings–and prayers to realise that NO ONE does everything for everyone. Not criticizing btw–in fact I just felt so connected to your overwhelmed Self that I wanted to be the person coming to your house to make you a tea! My boys play all day and watch movies and read and explore and watch docs and sit and stare into space and roll on the grass…and cook and eat together…and and and….life is so much more than getting into college and getting a job. Namaste dear Mom, know you are not alone! PS….babies and toddlers learn from being mobile…..Please research play pens and other restraints for littles….very difficult to learn whilst we are ‘contained’….
Diana says
This was an awesome post. Thank you!!
And I CANNOT BELIEVE you almost have a COLLEGE student! Wowza! I guess I’ve been reading this blog for a long time, because I remember him as a young teen. This must be an exciting time for you all – congrats in advance!
Diana
Amy says
It feels crazy! I don’t feel old enough to have a college age child, and I’m pretty sure we celebrated his 2nd birthday just a few days ago! EEK.
Shelly says
Several months ago, I began paying two of my teens a stipend to take turns being my homeschool helper, which basically consists of watching the two year old and sometimes the 4, 6, and 7 year olds when I work with the 8, 10, and 11 year olds. My three teens do their own work at night (they prefer it at this time). So far, the extra help from them has been a godsend.
Cara says
I think that one of the biggest challenges of homeschooling is teaching multiple children at different ages and grades at the same time! I often wonder how the one-room schoolhouse teachers used to do it! 🙂 I know I have seen with my younger children that they pick up so much just from listening in on their older siblings’ lessons. I have been surprised by this many times.
One tip that I have found helpful is to let the older children take a “break” when it is their turn to go and play with the littles. They usually think this is great fun, and it allows me to work one on one for a while with another child (my children are currently 10 (with special needs), 9, 5, and 4).
Amy says
Great tip! That is something we have done as well – especially when I had a rather rambunctious little guy who needed a lot of hands-on activities to keep him busy throughout the day!