Ideas for homeschooling boys who fidget and make noises and would rather play than do lessons during school hours.
Don’t have time to read? Here’s a podcast on the topic!
“My son literally flips upside-down on the couch when I read aloud to him.”
“My son memorized his multiplication tables by saying them as he jumped on a trampoline.”
“My boys bring cars to the table to play with while I teach school.”
These are actual scenarios from actual homeschooling moms who learned early on that homeschooling boys just hits different. And the sooner you accept that, the sooner you can move forward with lessons and ways of teaching that work for all of you!
Thankfully, years ago when my oldest son was about 4, I read a book by Raymond and Dorothy Moore entitled Better Late Than Early, explaining why children don’t need formal education early in their formative years. I feel like I saved myself a ton of stress and annoyance because I clearly saw how children, especially the ones of the boy variety, aren’t ready to sit still for very long when they are little. I kept my expectations low and avoided a lot of irritation in the process.
Besides keeping “low expectations,” I also utilized a few tools in my Bag of Homeschool Mom Tricks to not only figure out a good teaching strategy for my little boys, but to also slowly but surely teach them how to sit still – a very useful skill in adulthood.
NOTE: This post has nothing to do with defiance or attitude problems in boys as the reason they aren’t sitting still. For help with that topic, see the resources below:
TIP #1 – Determine Readiness for Seat Work
Veteran homeschool moms will tell you that seat work often has to be delayed for boys and also that some of the best homeschooling happens outside the classroom (for boys and girls alike!).
So, before you decide you MUST dive into math workbooks, handwriting sheets, science textbooks, and long homeschooling lessons, consider your son’s actual readiness for such things.
How long can he sit before he loses interest in whatever he is doing?
Is he still having trouble sitting through a church service? A concert? A play?
Does he seem to pick up things best from seeing, hearing, or doing? If the answer is doing, it’s going to take him a bit longer to be ready to sit for very long at a time.
If he’s not ready for seat work, don’t foist it upon him in the hopes he’ll get the hang of it. Find educational activities that are short and get him outside exploring. (Check out my review of A Year of Playing Skillfully as a good option for educational “play.”)
And then slowly implement this next tip…
Tip #2 – Practice Sitting
Moms tend to think sitting comes naturally for children, but it doesn’t – especially for boys! Most of them are “doers” and they like to be on the move.
That said, sitting IS a good skill to have as an adult, so you should definitely encourage your sons to learn HOW to sit, but it is going to take time and practice…and a lot of patience.
- Start at home (not church…never at church…ask me how I know).
- Put a chair in the middle of the room and have them sit with nothing in their hands for as long as they can. You are simply observing their threshold for sitting still. This will give you an idea of about how long you have for homeschool lessons and/or your brother’s wedding. *just sayin’*
- The next day do the same thing, but this time give them a toy to play with *quietly*. Is their threshold longer?
- The next day have them start without the toy and then as they begin to crater, give them a toy to determine if they can last a bit longer.
- Now you are ready for school or church! Start with nothing, add in a quiet toy, then be prepared to leave for a bathroom break or outside time to reset – rinse, and repeat!
Tip #3 – Take Breaks!
Boys need breaks. Girls need breaks. Ok, let’s be honest, MOMS NEED BREAKS!
Just because the local school systems asks kids to sit for hours on end, does not mean this is normative or particularly conducive to learning.
Karrie Godwin, a developmental psychologist, headed a study in 2016 that found children become less attentive as lessons increase from 10 to 30 minutes. That means they may be sitting there, but they sure aren’t learning!
Keep your lessons short and intersperse breaks in the learning. For more on how important this is, check out THIS POST from Simply Charlotte Mason on the 6 Benefits of Short Lessons.
Tip #4 – Go Outside
Children need outside time. They need to feel the grass on their feet, the wind in their hair, and the dirt between their fingers! And boys, who learn so much by doing, need this exponentially more!
You will find that your boys will be much more attentive if they have plenty of time out of the classroom and out of doors. So, those breaks I mentioned above…why not take them outside?!
In fact, do as much as you can outside! Let them swing while you read aloud to them. Let them use sidewalk chalk to work math lessons. Let them practice recitations and facts and figures while jumping in puddles, hopping on one foot, and climbing trees!
Or simply let them play! Get all the wiggles out and then go back to class. I believe you will find your boys to be much more attentive and able to retain information.
I highly recommend the podcast 1000 Hours Outside, as well as her brand new book, Until the Streetlights Come On to inspire you in this idea.
Tip #5 – Allow Them to Fidget
If you read the scenarios at the top of this post, you noticed one thing in common – fidgety boys! Boys hanging upside-down, boys jumping on trampolines, boys playing with cars during school lessons, etc.
I had one boy who constantly bounced his feet. At school, he shook the table. On trips, he shook the van. At church, he shook the entire pew! This same boy took me years to teach him to sit through an entire meal. He would start in his seat, and gradually work his way up to a standing position with food all over the place!
The best way to manage fidgeting is to find appropriate ways for them to release that energy. Here are a few ideas:
- Stress ball to squish.
- Chair Bands or Kick Bands to bounce their feet on
- Favorite toys (Legos, farm animals, cars) at the table to keep their hands busy
- Twisty Fidget Toy
- Play dough or Clay (also very helpful for hand strength)
- Marble Maze (try making your own!)
- Fidget Ring (these are nice and small!)
Tip #6 – End the Lessons Before the Meltdown
Everyone needs a stopping point to their school day – including you, Mom. And some days, that stopping point needs to come sooner than others. Learn to read the room and end the lessons BEFORE the meltdown. And never, ever let school drag on endlessly!
If there is something you really need to get accomplished before you end the school day, let them know and give them a timeframe. Don’t just keep pushing.
I’d also highly encourage you to have set school hours that you never go beyond. This lets everyone know there is an end point and gives you and your boys something to shoot for when it comes to practicing sitting still and staying attentive.
Ultimately, homeschooling boys who struggle to sit still is an act of patience and perseverance. Sometimes all they need is a little time and understanding. Sometimes it’s simply who they are, and God has big plans for them that do not involve sitting still for hours on end!
Leave a Reply