Tools to motivate and challenge your homeschooled children to learn how to work on their own and take responsibility for their educational experiences.

Everyone has their own motivation for raising kids who know how to learn on their own and do their school work without dawdling and whining. My motivation originally came in the form of lots of babies born back to back. But, as I saw the fruit of teaching my children to love learning while gaining an understanding of how to work on their own, I realized the concept of independent learning had much deeper benefits beyond making my life as a large family mom easier.
It created a love of learning and a sense of purpose and responsibility that carried my older children into their adult years with more tools and resources than most young adults possess in our modern culture.
My kids know how to make decisions, find answers, solve problems, and forge through difficult circumstances better than most children I know. Learning how to learn on their own has paid dividends far beyond my wildest imaginations.
Before I share with you how you can lead your own children down this path to independent learning, I’d like to give you a peek into our lives and how this plays out during an ordinary homeschool day.
What Independent Learning Looks Like in My Homeschool
We start out our day with Bible, History, and sometimes Art or Music during what some people call Morning Time. (Read more about our Homeschool Morning Time with Multiple Ages.) I could make these independent studies as well, but I love the experience of learning alongside my children, so this is my jam!
After Morning Time, I dismiss my olders to their independent studies, and rarely am I needed by them after that. I do check in with them from time to time, but everyone from 11 on up is almost entirely independent. If you’d like to know exactly how I put together their schedules, check out my post How to Put Your Homeschool on Autopilot.
I am hands-on with my K-3rd graders. Phonics and Math are my main emphasis at this age. I want to get them reading well because once they can read, the doors open to endless possibilities! In total, this teacher-intensive timeframe only takes about 30 minutes, and much of their actual schoolwork is done independently with me nearby if needed.
Read: How Many Hours Does It Take to Homeschool?

And that’s it! Once they are finished with their studies, they are free to pursue their own interests until called upon for chores or meals. Some kids draw, others read, some are playing instruments, some are writing stories. I rarely hear, “I’m bored,” because they are doing things they love to do!
How to Raise Children Who Learn On Their Own
So, how can you foster an environment of independent learning in your own home? Here are some of the things we have done that have made all the difference in this journey!
Believe in your children
Years ago, when my oldest two children were young, a friend who was over visiting was shocked to see my son scoot a chair to the counter, climb up, and get his own water glass. She said, “You let him do that?” She NEVER let her kids (who were older than my kids) get their own drinks. Yet, it had never occurred to me that they couldn’t get their own drinks. I believed they could and acted accordingly by letting them try. Honestly, learning to believe in your children is half your battle to getting them to learn independently! You have to believe they CAN!
Teach them HOW to work alone
The best method I have found to teach independence is called the EDGE™ Method. The acronym stands for:
EXPLAIN
DEMONSTRATE
GUIDE
ENABLE
So, let’s use this method to teach independent learning in a child’s math workbook…
First, you EXPLAIN how to do the problems. Teach new concepts, circle the problems you want them to do, and then…
DEMONSTRATE the new concepts by working a few problems, explaining step-by-step as you go how each problem is completed.
Next, you GUIDE the child to try the problems on their own with you nearby to catch any missteps or troubles, but don’t come to their rescue too quickly because you want them to gain confidence that they can do the lessons on their own – even if it takes a while to figure it out.
And then you ENABLE your child to do the work independently by walking away. That’s right LEAVE THEM ALONE to try on their own without you hovering over their every move. This keeps you from the temptation to micromanage and your child from the temptation to ask you to help them the second they get a little stuck.
You want to start using this method from the very beginning of your child’s homeschool years. Don’t micromanage them. Let them try things on their own!
Integrate their interests into their lessons
Another wonderful thing that encourages independent learning is integrating your child’s interests into their homeschool lessons. Not only will this spark interest in them to pursue their lessons with a passion, but it creates an educational environment that makes sense and prepares your child for life beyond homeschool.
Learn more about this concept:
Investing in Real World Homeschooling
There are 2 ways you can integrate interests into the school day to encourage independence in your child’s learning.
1 – Integrate interests into subjects:
EXAMPLE 1: Your son likes to do cartooning. Instead of a book report, you require him to recreate a scene from his current literature assignment in graphic novel form.
EXAMPLE 2: You daughter likes to bake. As part of her history lessons, you have her bake something from the country and time period she is studying.
2 – Allow them to pursue passions after school hours:
I have written at length about this method of integrating interests into your child’s homeschool day in my Delight Directed Homeschooling Series. The essence of this way of homeschooling requires you to allow your child plenty of time to pursue their passions by avoiding hours and hours of seatwork that isn’t enjoyable and doesn’t make sense in the overall scheme of things.
Teach responsibility for their own school work
Most children are convinced certain subjects were cooked up by parents to torture them. They will never learn to own their own schoolwork and educational experiences if they don’t see value in it. And they will never learn to see value in their education if you don’t also see value in the subjects you are requiring.
Consider WHY you homeschool. Consider WHY you require certain subjects. Know your reasons and be certain you are giving work that has MEANING. Then, make sure you are showing your children how these required subjects have real-world application. You don’t want your children taking 12 hours of bike and never getting on one.

Read more here: True Education Isn’t About Making a Living
Increase your child’s responsibility level:
When giving assignments to your children keep increasing what THEY are responsible for versus what YOU are responsible for them. Give them more command over their own lessons, but always inspect their work. Make sure goals are consistently and correctly met. NEVER ASSUME your child is doing everything you expect of them. They are human, they make mistakes, and sometimes they slip into a habit of doing their own thing – especially if you don’t notice.
Allow them to work at a comfortable, but challenging pace, and periodically, encourage them to work outside their comfort zone. Children who are never challenged, rarely rise above mediocrity and struggle to rise above difficult circumstances.
Don’t hand-hold every decision your child needs to make, and give them opportunities to be responsible outside of school hours because schoolwork is not the be-all-end-all of your child’s education. Teach your child to independently manage their own life!
Watch for struggles that aren’t resolving
Even a child who naturally embraces responsibility finds themselves struggling with it from time to time. Start by encouraging them through it, and then use your parental instincts to decide if you need to intervene.
Your child may only need encouragement to persevere through the struggle or you may need to change up their lessons, curriculum, pace, or environment. You know your child, so trust your instincts.
Ultimately, you are raising adults, not children. Don’t paralyze your children by not allowing them to make decisions. This is the season to hone your arrows in the safety of your home, so when they are on their own, they will fly strong and straight – independently!
Rébecca says
Hi Amy,
What do you do when your homeschooled high schooler is NOT independant in their learning ? As a homeschool graduate myself, who homeschooled herself through distance learning for middle and high school without much parental supervision or help, I expected my kids to be just as independant when they reached teenage years, I thought I did what you suggest in this article to achieve this goal. But here I am with a 14 yo who is anything but an independant learner. Yes, he is able to go off to his room with his daily school load and claim he did everything he was supposed to do, but in reality, as a dyslexic kid, he just reads through the material without comprehending much if no adult is sitting next to him explaining everything to him. And my 13 yo is even worse. Having both dyslexia and ADHD, there is not much he can do on his own, learning is hard enough even with a tutor !.So what do you do then ? How do you get teens to actually study independantly when they have learning challenges ? Having 5 younger kids to homeschool, I cannot give them the one-on-one time they would need… What are your thoughts on this issue ?
Amy says
Have you tried audio? A lot of kids who can’t seem to comprehend what they are reading, do quite well when it is read to them. In fact, students in public school (even college) can have their work read to them to take tests, etc. Mystery of History has audio of their history program, Teaching textbooks is auditory, a subscription to audible, etc are all ways you could get the information in him in a way he can comprehend. That’s where I’d start. See if it helps, and if it doesn’t, consider video next. Compass Classroom has a lot of video courses (they will be doing a big sale soon, so check that out). Don’t be afraid to do what public schools do with an IEP (Individualized Education Plan) and change things up for him from what is considered traditional. Let me know how things are going when you’ve tried some other things! I’d love to hear how he’s doing and if you find something that works!
Tara V says
I have a soon to be 14 year old son who is dyslexic as well. It’s a struggle for mine because he desires to be independent, but he his skill level gets in the way. A few things that have helped:
A checklist. I know we do not want to reduce education to a checklist, but dyslexics are usually disorganized and they need help in this area. Organization is a skill that can be part of their education too. Plus, I find that it protects our relationship by making it the guide that says, “Nope you are not done yet.” Instead of me!
Narration and commonplace : If he’s using an audio book or reading on his own he is required to narrate to me. Our rule is Narrations done before noon can be oral. Narration done after lunch must be 3 paragraphs, written. This motivates him to read carefully and not to procrastinate! He also chooses what he finds interesting to copy into his commonplace book. When he’s reading he’s paying attention for something that is relative to him.
Curriculum choice is important. He did not have any luck with Teaching Textbooks. He uses Math U See. He has to check his own workbook report back to me and rework his corrections. He hates this but it saves me time correcting and motivates careful work. (Not perfect, careful) Phonics Zoo for spelling is expensive but, it’s both independent and effective (& a necessary, nonintuitive skill for the dyslexic!)
It’s a struggle, and it’s really important not to compared your homeschool with others. I think it is important to encourage these kids to be independent so they can learn how to navigate THEIR way through a very literate world!
Amy says
Thank you so much for chiming in, Tara! So helpful!
Karin Owens says
My question is what do you do when your middle school child doesn’t actually do their assignments. My two older students (both girls one 17 junior and one 19 college student) have been very independent and have had many interests and love learning. I have done the same types of things with my 13 yo son. But his only interests appear to be legos, reading/audiobooks, and Minecraft (which currently he has lost the privilege of playing). I don’t know how to incorporate legos or Minecraft interest into his lessons. Most subjects are difficult for him. He wouldn’t admit it to me I don’t believe, but I don’t think he likes much about school. He enjoys the parts where he reads or listens, but if he has to remember anything or answer anything or write anything, etc he doesn’t like it. He does fine typically with oral narrations, but not written ones or worksheets of any kind. If he thinks he can get away without doing any work ever, he won’t do it and will sneak to cover it. I honestly do not know how to help him gain independence and responsibility or to care enough to strive for more than mediocrity. Thanks for any help or suggestions anyone can give.
Nicole R myers says
Karin- I love that you’ve taken the time to share your situation. I also have a son who loves video games (Super Mario Brother’s) and wants to design his own some day. He is HANDS-ON all day long and I too am looking for ways to incorporate his interests into our homeschool. He is only 8 years old currently and learning the elementary basics but I’m hopeful we can find a good “HOOK” to interest him in order to gain the basic skills at least in his weaker subject of English (maybe writing his first report on his favorite video game and then presenting it to his family comes to mind). I want to encourage you as well as share how valuable it is to pray first and ask specifically for what you’re looking for! Many Blessings……..
Amy says
Hi Karin! So, Legos and Minecraft are actually FANTASTIC to incorporate into lessons. If he’s doing a history lesson, add in a Lego build or a Minecraft assignment for a famous building in history. Google “Lego History Lessons” or something like that. Same with Minecraft. And Minecraft actually entails a lot of science, so look for ideas for incorporating that as well. Ask him to come up with a build based on what he’s learning and then have him tell you about it. And audiobooks and reading are really solid interests for a child his age. Keep him reading and listening, and you will have a very well-rounded young man.
Nicole R Myers says
Hi Amy! In this post you wrote something that caught me eye- “My kids know how to make decisions, find answers, solve problems, and forge through difficult circumstances better than most children I know. Learning how to learn on their own has paid dividends far beyond my wildest imaginations.”. My children are currently 10, 8 and 6 years old and they know how to make decisions because I give them choices throughout our days BUT! I notice that they do NOT know how to find answers and solve problems. I realize that I, myself, do NOT have a strong background in this area. Can you give a few EXAMPLES of this please? Thanks for your help. I know this is a weak area for me.
Nicole
Amy says
Honestly, in this day and age, this looks more like knowing how to Google something than anything else. But, you would be surprised how many people do not even know how to do that. They want someone else to do it for them, find it for them, make it easy for them. Sometimes it is asking a professor why you got a grade you weren’t expecting and what you could do differently or it’s reaching out to a friend about how they started their etsy shop. It’s watching a YouTube video so you can fix something yourself or making a phone call to a company to find out if the warranty on your dishwasher is still good. You are actually probably stronger at this than you realize, but hopefully, this helps you see the idea behind what I was saying in the post. 🙂
Nicole R Myers says
Thank you!
Nynke says
Hi Amy, helpful post, thanks! I’ve got two questions.
1)When you let the kids pursue their own interests after school is done, do you guide them, give them ideas if they don’t know what to do, or require it be something else than playing? I think it would be great for my 9yo girl to do something ‘constructive’ with that time.
I do hear ‘I’m bored’ frequently from my 5yo boy. It’s like he never knows what to do, unless his big sis of 9yo engages him in pretend play or he’s playing with cars and trains, but obviously that get’s old too ?
2)Could you give an example of how to let the kids take more responsibility, how does that flesh out? How do I check up on their work and still make it their ‘problem’ if they didn’t do what needs to be done. Not just the quantity, but I’m also thinking ‘quality’ (best effort)
Thanks for your thoughts ?
Amy says
Sure!
1) We do suggest ideas from time to time, but mostly we are “at the ready” to help them gather the tools they need to pursue their interest – whether that be an internet search, a sketchpad or even a digital camera (that’s only if they are REALLY serious 😉 ) When children are young, they often follow siblings around trying out the things their older siblings are doing. You will probably find that whatever you engage your older daughter in, your younger son will want to try too!
2) Before their teen years, I take a look at their work every day and if I see it isn’t complete or not done well or not done correctly, we will sit down and work through it. When they are older, I will go longer before checking in on them because we’ve established a pattern when they were young that mom expects work to be done properly.
Hope that helps!
Barbara says
What kind of curriculum did you use for independent learning? Please a few suggestions also of some that you have not used but are very good. If possible, with no videos.
Thank you
Amy says
Teaching Textbooks, Apologia, classes that use Teachable as a platform (some of those will have videos). Of course, I’m a Compass Classroom fan, but they are video-based. Phonetic Zoo and the Simplex Spelling app for Spelling. Any workbook can become an independent learning if you first help them through the lessons and then let them work on their own. Do you have an specific subjects you are looking for?