STAYING at HOME ~ Dec 12, 2005

(**Blog notes** Yet another “blast from the past!” This entry comes from the final weeks of my pregnancy w/ our 4th child. Looking back, I see now where God was preparing me to stay at home more. I laugh at this post, because I now truly desire to be home much more than to be out, and I cannot believe I joined that many homeschool groups!)

Sleep alludes me. I am 34 weeks pregnant today and have begun that uncomfortable stage…the stage that makes you more than happy to endure back-breaking labor if only for the utter relief of no longer being pregnant!

I do not go out with all the children during the day because I just CAN’T. I know, Zig Ziglar would be terribly disappointed in me, but thankfully, I’m not out to impress anyone. However, my homebound status has forced me to reflect on a simple, yet profound piece of wisdom I received earlier this year at a homeschool conference…
To be a stay at home mom, you have to be home and in order to be a homeschooler, you have to be home.

Well, I like being home, but I also like being out.

When we moved here a year ago, I joined every homeschool group within a 40 mile radius (a total of 5!) Much of it was done in desperation to find friends for myself and my children. I had moved out of my comfort zone–a tiny town very near where I had grown up–and into a place where I had no family and nothing to do. I didn’t want to be isolated, so I became pro-active and searched out other like-minded people. I kept up the pace very well until I became pregnant, but even then, I only dropped a couple of the groups. Well, a few weeks ago, when my superwoman facade began to crumble, I quit attending functions hosted by 2 more. I’ve pretty much pared it down to one group that meets about 2 times a month–once for a playdate and once for a history-based co-op. It’s actually a bit of a relief.

All the homeschool groups in the area offered something a little different that I was sure my children needed to be a part of, but yet I found myself spending more time racing to and fro than being at home–the real thing my children needed to be a part of.

You see, home, if run correctly will fill all of my children’s needs. I do not profess in any way, shape, or form to run a truly “correct” household, but you can’t really work on your homekeeping unless you are at home. You see, everything my children truly need is right here, but in my human fraility, I go searching for something that continues to allude me (kind of like my sleep!) I am searching for just the right “program” or “system” or “place” that will make up for my ineptness, when the truth of the matter is there is only ONE who can truly fill in the gaps.

So, here I sit in the quiet of my own home (quiet because it is the middle of the night!) I may have initially been forced to stay at home, but I do believe I will remain at home.