Shortly after my second child was born, I knew I wanted another baby. I figured getting pregnant wouldn’t be any big deal. But it was.
I was breastfeeding, so I knew that would hold back my fertility for a while, but I’m not one of those women who has true amenorrhea. I get a few months, and then my fertility is right back at work. However, after a year of no new pregnancy, I decided (rather foolishly) to stop breastfeeding in the hopes that I would fall pregnant.
No such luck.
And then…my husband deployed.
There was no more pining away for a baby. That possibility was gone. I threw myself into mothering the two children I had. (By the way, this is also the time frame I began homeschooling our oldest, so I was very occupied with that new venture as well.)
When my husband came home a year later, I ended up pregnant within the month! Oh, how excited I was! I had begged God for this child, and He had heard me. As I prepared for my first OB appointment, we got word that my husband was deploying again – this time, stateside. I remember thinking how at least I would have this new pregnancy to keep me occupied.
But, that first OB appointment did not turn out as I had hoped. They could not find the baby’s heartbeat. I was taken back to the sonogram room, only to find the baby had died several weeks prior, and I was left with emptiness. My husband was able to come back for the D&C, but his presence didn’t stave off the anger I was feeling.
For the first time in my life I was angry at God. I had begged and pleaded with Him for this child. Why did He give me a baby and then take that baby away? What was wrong with me? Why, oh why, was this happening?
During that stateside deployment, I saw my husband fairly regularly, but I did not become pregnant. I timed our visits with fertile days, and I tried to do everything in my power to get pregnant – all to no avail.
Finally, I just let go. I was tired of being angry. I was tired of wishing my life looked differently than it did. And then one day, I found myself feeling “funny.” Food sounded awful, and I felt sluggish. I took a pregnancy test, fully expecting it to be negative…again…but it wasn’t! I wanted to rejoice, but I was scared. What if…
Oh, the “what if’s” plagued me! I worried terribly that God would take this child too. I didn’t know if I could handle that. But, the pregnancy progressed, and as it did, I relaxed. And one warm September day, our precious little daughter was born.
A dear friend summed up my feelings when she stopped by to meet little Melia. She leaned over her bassinet and whispered into her sleeping ear,
“You don’t know how much your mama wanted you or how long she’s waited for you.”
I cried. I had waited nearly 4 years to hold another newborn. It was a long 4 years filled with deployments, heartache, and a longing for something I wasn’t sure I’d ever have again. It wasn’t a patient waiting either. It was a painful, emotional, biting, kicking, and screaming waiting.
There are so many women waiting for a baby. I imagine some of you are waiting. Some of you may be patient, but some of you are just like me – feeling helpless and hopeless…and perhaps even angry.
I didn’t want to wait. I didn’t want to endure pain. I just wanted a baby. Why did it have to be so hard? Why did other women have babies while I sat barren? Why was I allowed to get pregnant, but not allowed to keep that baby? Why did my husband have to be deployed when God knew how desperately I wanted more children?
Humans like to know why. We like all the answers neatly tied up in a pretty package and handed to us. We feel safer and calmer when we think we have the answers. But, what we miss is the fact that we aren’t in charge. We don’t always get to have the why’s answered. Sometimes it just is.
When Emily passed away, I remember saying over and over, “It is what it is.” I knew how painful whys could be, and I just couldn’t go there. I had to simply trust. I had to be where I was. It hurt, but it was my story.
My friend Mandy from Worshipful Living said this after her adoption loss,
“Satan steals so much joy from us when we live in these hard places longer than we should. Bitterness takes root – and the roots grow deeper and deeper if we let it. Instead, choose to deal with the anger, the hurt, the bitterness – the grief – and feel it.
Then, go live.”
I didn’t want to feel the pain of waiting for another baby. I just wanted another baby. I didn’t want to “go live” if it meant I’d never have another child. The grief consumed me until the day I grew tired of living that way. I only wish I had gotten there sooner. Not because that would have brought a baby into my life sooner – you know, like I learned my lesson, now I get a baby – but because I feel I wasted all those months NOT living.
If you are waiting for a baby due to secondary infertility, miscarriage, adoption, a reversal, or other life circumstances, I cannot force you to live your life as if that next baby might never come, but I can pray God’s enduring peace over you. I know what it feels like to wait. I know what it feels like to hurt. I also know the difference I have seen in my own life between the time I spent waiting in anger, and the time I spent waiting in peace.
If you would like to leave a comment or drop me an email, you can know the Raising Arrows community of women will be praying for you. There might not be answers, but there will be faith and love and understanding as you wait.
Heather Pollock says
Thank you for posting this tonight. My husband and I have been wanting and trying for baby number four for well over a year now. We keep praying and trusting God for His will and timing but it sure does get hard sometimes. Your story blessed my heart tonight.
joyce says
Thank you for sharing from your heart and your life. I’ve been in similar circumstances, minus the deployment part. So many of your lessons apply to life in general, not just the specific topic you’re addressing in that post. So the words you put out today are challenging me where I am right now in life- in my mid-fifties, with 5 grown (or almost grown) daughters, learning to live through uncertain times, learning to be content when life isn’t what i want it to be.
Mrs. D says
I so needed to hear this. Thank you for sharing your story.
Ellie says
Thanks for this post! I remember after my first miscarriage I was washing my face and my 3 year old son saw my face wet and said, “mama’s crying again!” I realized how long I’d spent my days crying and grieving and that I was missing out on the here and now with the child God HAD let me keep! That miscarriage came after 21 months of nursing amenorhhea, 6 months of no pregnancy for unexplained reasons, then we lost that baby 3 1/2 months into the pregnancy and then, obeyed doctors order to wait three months before trying for another pregnancy. Needles to say, it felt like an eternity! After that I thought I’d learned my lesson well, so after having another miscarriage in between baby number 2 and 3 I was never able to really enjoy being pregnant like I had before miscarriages. I remember looking at a family picture of myself on the wall and thinking I could never be that person again because of the pain I’d experienced. But, with time I realized that was what God wanted! I’d grown and matured. I viewed the miracle of life in a totally different way after seeing how easily a baby is lost. Shortly before I miscarried my second baby I had a terrible nightmare in which an evil spirit was trying to take the baby out of my stomach (sorry, I know that’s really disturbing) and when I lost the baby my mom brought up the fact that the war over that baby’s soul was over! That baby was safe in the arms of Jesus. It brought me so much peace knowing that even though my time with that baby was so short, I’d have an eternity with it in the presence of God!
Christy says
Amy, thank you for always being so transparent! We have 5 children on earth and 4 little saints in heaven. As consistently (every 2 years) as my first 4 children came, I was shocked to expeience a miscarriage, then we had a rainbow baby (who is now almost 5), and we have lost 3 other babies since our rainbow baby. I so connected with your words.
Michele says
Oh yes!! God is merciful. He has grown us so very much and then proven people wrong with all of our children. We were told we could not have children. God had His perfect plan and did give us children in His time. We had four children about every two years and then three miscarriages. God revealed to us each time who they were (each time in different ways) so we know we have three girls and one little boy waiting for us in Heaven. The last was twins. Then we had our nineth (fifth living) child in May and I heard rainbow Baby for the first time in the delivery room. She reminds us of how ALL of our babies are miracles. God showed me He could have spared us the pain but then He would have spared us the gifts of those precious souls. My heart and prayers go out to all the families. Thank you Amy for being so honest and starting conversations where we can talk to one another. So many people avoided these conversations when we were going through those times. God Bless!!
Jill says
I want to thank you for sharing your story once again. The very beginning struck a cord with me as I have presumed when I see women with large families that perhaps it was “easy” for them. And though I wanted nothing more than to marry and be a mama, God called me to wait until I was 29 to marry, and 31 to have my first child. Since then, it has been a battle. A year of trying for our second, then two miscarriages. Then a darling rainbow daughter, only to have two miscarriage once again in 18 months. I am expecting again, Praise God, but find each day is a battle. Trusting God will allow this child in our lives and all will go well….. I just saw a mother with five young children at the grocery store the other day and didn’t want to look at her for the jealously and pain in my heart. So again, thank you. I needed that reminder from God (through your words) to remember I don’t know others stories, the same way they do not know mine. We all deserve Grace. We all deserve love. Thank you for reminding me to choose grace and and love in the Name of our Saviour.
canela says
Thanks for sharing your story,It fills me with hope.(from latinamerica sorry any english mistake)
I was waiting for my first baby for almost 7 years! and never wanted medical help, I knew God would give a baby someday, and that baby arrived in 2009, then in 2011 baby #2 arrived, Oh I was filled with joy! but he born too small with almost 34 weeks..once again God showed his mercy and they are now healthy children 6 and 4 y.o…but I desperetely want #3..in april 2016 (after long 4 years) I found I was finally pregnant, Oh my heart filled with joy again..but in may I felt strange pains..and a terrible bleeding that I almost died.
My dear and long-waited baby#3 had gone ..It hurts..It hurts Awfully…I really want my baby back.I pray for that.
Mrs. MunoZ says
This is the most relevant post to my life that I’ve read in a LONG while. Thanks for speaking about the unspoken. I appreciate your words in a public forum. Our fertility is in the Lords hands but I would long for another baby. I have 3 here on earth and am in the midst of suffering my third miscarriage. I am praying for patience while I wait. I’m glad to know I’m not alone as this is something most don’t discuss. Thank you Amy!
Cassie says
Thank you for this post- and for specifically including adoption and reversal in your description. God really comforted me through your words today. Thank you again.
KIM says
This was written in perfect timing for me. I have PCOS and have 4 beautiful children. We have been going through fertility treatments with no luck. I am trying to get though this and if it is God’s will for me not to have anymore children then to take the wanting for more away. I cannot talk to anyone about how I feel because having 4 they all think I have enough and shouldn’t complain of wanting more and just be satisfied with what I have….If it were only that easy.
Stacy jones says
This was a much needed reminder for me. My husband and I have been trying for months for number 3… we finally found out in June we were pregnant, but then last week I started miscarrying. That marked my fourth miscarriage, and with each one I feel like my dream of having another child is slipping further away. I don’t know why God allows things like miscarriage to happen, but I do know He has a much greater plan and perspective that I can’t see. Thanks for being a light and sharing this for women like me–I needed to hear it today. <3
Sabrina Akins says
Thank you for this article. I really needed this today. We have 4 children and I had a reversal several months ago. I have longed for a baby and have been impatient when month after month I get a negative result. I prayed just this morning that God would give me peace and that I would stop worrying about His timing. Your article has been such a blessing! Please keep me in your prayers.
Chandra says
Thank you for being brave enough to share this. We have been trying for, waiting for, and praying for number five for over two years, after a reversal that was another year and a half in the making. Most of it has been an ugly wait. We have had multiple miscarriages and many heartaches. Secondary infertility is kind of a taboo subject – “you have a kid, or two or three or more, so what are you complaining about? Be glad for what you have”… And I am. But that doesn’t stop the longing or the hurt.
Megan says
I’m so glad I found your site. Thank you for sharing your stories, thank you for being a Godly example, I appreciate you!
Nadia says
This blog post, as well as all the comments below it, have shown me for the first time that I am not alone. I have had so many miscarriages, so many disappointments, so much heartache. Yet God has give me three amazing children, and I count myself blessed. In one week, I will undergo my final fertility treatment attempting for baby number 4. If it doesn’t work, I am ready to let it go and live in peace. Thank you for posting these words of wisdom. I really needed to read this today.
Miss N says
An all too familiar feeling. We waiting for our first baby for over 9 years. Miscarriage, failed adoption attempts, failed fertility treatments, you name it we went through it. Having completely empty arms for so long is a huge burden to bear. I never had patience through any of it, and never came to peace with my childless status. Never. I am so thankful God blessed us with a child through adoption, and I am so thankful for my one, but it was a horrible journey. I hope someday I can fully come to terms and have peace but even two years later I am still dealing with the grief it caused. God is still working.
JM says
Our second baby never developed properly and died as a result. It was hard and we grieved for what could have been. It also put things into perspective for me: life for and enjoy what you have. I see so many women fixated on the romanticism of being pregnant and having a house full of young children, and that idea, that romanticism, consumes their life. The feeling of emptiness and inadequacy and loneliness will tear down your existing family to replace it with a void always screaming more, more, more. This is not good. It’s not healthy for you, nor for your relationship with your partner, nor the relationship with your existing children.
Holly says
Thank you for this post. I really needed to read this. I have 5 beautiful children on this earth with me. I have lost 6 babies in between them and they are in heaven. I have endometriosis and was told I could never have children. I am also a homeschooling Mom. I am now expecting baby #6. I am only 11.5 weeks and have been having some scary issues. I have never been so scared. I go for my first appointment tomorrow and pray that there will be a heartbeat. I am telling myself, if there isnt one, it will be okay, my heart will hurt, no it will ache… but my baby will be safe in Gods arms. It is his plan. There are times I have to remind myself that he is in charge. I pray so hard, and I give it to him… I give him my concerns, fears and pain. He is in charge. Thank you for saying that you will look at families with lots of children differently now. I am that blessed Mom with the large family, But, I carry pain and ache for the 6 babies that I lost too early. Blessing to all out there. God is on our side !!!!!
Kaleena says
Thank you so much for sharing. We have 5 kids and sometimes people don’t realize the journey we had to go through to get there.
Katie says
I am waiting for my husband to have a changed heart on adoption. Please pray that if it is the Lords will that he will change my husband’s heart to yearn for the orphans of this world.
Becca says
Thank you for sharing. We have been TTC baby #2 for the last 5 years. There have been plenty of tears and anger during these years.
Jason Santiago says
As per my experience, you can never really get used to it. I enjoy the moments of nervousness and anticipation while my wife is in labor, Looking forward to a new bundle of headache/joy. Haha. Great read, thanks for this.
Elizabeth Messenger says
Thank you for sharing. <3
Laurie says
Thank you so much for writing this and offering prayer. We are waiting for our 5th child, our rainbow after 2 miscarriages. We wouldn’t even still be trying except that we just KNOW we are supposed to have another. God told us we were going to have another, He told my husband we were going to have a fifth child. He just didn’t let us know it would take so long or be so hard. After 4 easy pregnancies, I never imagined I still would not have #5 after two and half years. Miscarriage is the big taboo, no one talks about it, so it is really a shock the first time. Then, you slowly find out that all these people that you know have also lost a baby. It’s heart-wrenching. I think the second one was rougher than the first because I had really amped up my prayer-life and felt like I was doing all the right things and that God would have my back. Still, as I was pleading with Him to breathe life back into this baby I knew I had already lost–for just as He raised Lazarus from the dead, surely He would bring back a tiny heartbeat for the little baby in my womb if I asked and prayed with enough authority–He spoke to me, I heard Him say “There will be another.” And so, I rest in that. I went through the cycle of anger and bitterness, and now as I sit here, ovulating, and hoping this month will be the month for our rainbow, I’m trying to live–to not obsess about it as I have in past months. Just live, and see what happens. It will happen, God said so 🙂
Chelsea Dabb says
I am 32 years old and have no living children just one in heaven. I had tried two years before finally getting pregnant last year only to miscarry. It will be one year tomorrow that I miscarried and I am in that impatient, hopeless, angry stage. My husband is the oldest of his siblings and is the only one with out a child. It’s a hard journey and I can relate to the feeling hopeless and angry. Thanks for sharing
Aggie says
Amy, thank you for your transparency. So much hard/good stuff you addressed, and how you dealt with it. I’m almost 67 years old and found many lessons in your words that God has for me through your story. Thank you and God bless you and all the famiies that have been reached by your life.
Leslie says
Thank you Amy, for writing to encourage others to live life focused on God’s purpose for us. I carefully planned my 1st three pregnancies, thinking that was normal & responsible. I have 2 sons & a daughter, almost 9, 6 & 2, beautiful, healthy, great kids. But over the last year or so, using birth control began to bother my conscience. Through a bible study I did, I began to feel convicted that my fertility should have been entrusted to the Lord. I love pregnancy & babies & I began to dream of a bigger & more biblical family. In the last year, we followed the Lord’s call for me to quit my part time job and begin homeschooling. I felt like I should wait to share my thoughts about birth control & fertility with my husband. He just became our sole source of income, it would be selfish to drop that bomb on him, I thought. So when I finally told him a few months ago, he was flabbergasted- and completely opposed. I feel like I’m living in some awful limbo, hoping & praying for the Lord to change one of our minds, trying to be submissive by continuing to use the pill to keep him from getting a vasectomy. I know I need to live in the present & just pray, but I’m concerned that staying on the pill is messing up my system. But if I quit, he’ll have the surgery. The thought of never having another baby breaks my heart, especially because I am preventing it! I have some great friends & family who have let me share my heart, but no one I know has a quiver-full, Lord entrusted fertility mindset. Please pray for us, ladies. I tend to be very emotional & dramatic & feel a need for decision. I need His help to be still & wait, the devil wrecks havoc with me in this area. Thank you for your prayers & any advice would be appreciated.
Donna says
This post is very true to my heart. We lost our 4th child to ectopic pregnancy 2.5yrs ago. I lived in resentment, anger, and pain for AL of that time until I finally just asked God what I needed to feel better about what happened. His answer: all I need is the pure ho,you love of God to wash over my heart and heal those painful places. I still miss my child and I long deeply for another baby. But my resentment toward God is gone. Praise God! Secondary infertility is a very strange thing to explain to people. It sure feels good to know there are others who understand. We do need your prayers, we still very much desire another child .
Bethany Cantrell says
Thank you for this. This is me right now. My husband and I have 2 amazing children, but we have had 2 miscarriages in the last year and have been trying to conceive again for the last few months. I get so down and depressed every month that it doesn’t happen. Sometimes it’s hard to see the beauty of the life I have because I’m focused on the ‘next baby’. Thank you for this encouragement today.
Andrea says
Thank you for this words! The opened my eyes. Pleas pray for me . I am waiting for a baby. I Hand lived in angry after three miscariges.
Jessica says
This is so weird as I sit and read your blog I feel like you were speaking for me. That was me… I went through so many of the same things. I also joyfully have been pregnant when you are the last for 4 times including this time. It is interesting to read someone’s history and realize in times when we feel so all alone and like nobody else has these things going …. How the Lord shows us and when…. That we are not alone. He is our strength and comfort and when looking back it is easy to see His handprints in all of it. Just not so easy when in the midst of it.
Thanks for your blog
Christina says
Amy, I love reading your blog. I feel you are a kindred spirit and I think you are doing a good work in your family and by sharing your faith and experiences. May Heavenly Father continue to bless you and your family.
Doro A says
Thanks for sharing your story!
I am happy for you and rejoicing with you, that God did bless you with many more children 🙂 Each child is a miracle and a precious gift of God.
I know that feeling, I know that longing… and sometimes I aks myself: will it ever be satisfied?
Melissa says
Thank you for sharing this. My husband and I longed for a large family from the beginning. We are ultimately blessed, but we have been on the infertility rollercoaster more than we haven’t in our 21+ years of marriage.
We almost lost our second (emergency surgery for me), but didn’t, thank you Jesus. He is such a gift & has a heart for the Lord! We endured over two years of trying, plus a miscarriage before welcoming our third, & first daughter. It took nine months of hoping & praying for our fourth. God then gave us our fifth easily. We thought we were healed (male & female “factors”), yet we waited almost four, long years to become pregnant with our sixth, precious baby. My husband & I both cried! By her birth, our oldest was past 17. (People compliment our family & then often wonder about the age gaps.) Ihonestly hoped she could have a sibling closer to grow up with; however, she’s now closing in on three. It’s been another two+ years of trying to no avail. Now at 41, & with my healthy husband almost having a stroke last spring, we’re getting rid of the baby stuff. I’m grieving. We are so blessed, yet it’s been such a difficult journey when (admittedly) comparing to other large familis (how do you not notice?). I’ve never met anyone like me. Large family = have a baby whenever you like. Sigh. Both my husband & I hurt when people ask if we’re having more. We are asked all the time. I force a smile & say that it’s up to God. Because it is. His path is our path. We’ve been learning how to hold onto faith in a scary & isolating valley for several years now. (Infertility, bad neighbors, selling a house, husband’s health/life threatened, extended family pain/rejection on both sides, etc.) I’m assured that beauty will come from our ashes & I’m thankful for the blessings we do have.
I pray for those of you who are also longing & hurting, & maybe even feeling ashamed. Please don’t. It does hurt & it’s ok to feel that way.
Kate says
We have a house full of babies and I’ve not experienced a loss, but we are expecting a baby with severe birth defects that will need surgery at birth to survive, so loss may still come. Ladies, even though I cannot identify with you, I want you to know I pray for you. I pray for your hearts and arms. I pray for your circumstances and families. I pray often for blessings and hope. I also pray for peace. Each pregnancy is extremely high risk for me and they leave me bedridden and sick for months. I feel extreme guilt when my friends without babies struggle and I am I constantly pregnant, despite my high risk status. How can women like me help you, other than praying? How can we offer support and comfort? Or is it best to just stay back and remain silent?
Anabel Durgin says
Please say a prayer for me. I had iud for 5 years after my 2nd child and realized I wanted another child, hearing that after iud that I would get pregnant quickly and has been almost 4 years after 2.5 years I got pregnant we were super excited and happy and then get to the 1st appt an learned he passed at 8 weeks. I waited to miscarry on my own and has been almost a yr since I first got pregnant. And been thru tears anger and I want to let go and stop worrying if this month it will happen again will I get a chance to have a baby again. My youngest is going to be 8 and think I should just let go, but don’t want to since I was able to get pregnant but for some reason unable to keep him here. Just pray that something happens whether get pregnant or let go of trying .
Mandy says
So nice to read this today. My husband and I are slowly chipping away at the very expensive fee for a reversal. I had my tubes tied after my 3rd child in a previous horrible relationship which seemed like the right thing to do at the time. God had other plans for me and led me to my wonderful husband. We want to add to our family so badly and its easy to get discouraged by so many things. We just keep putting one foot in front of the other and praying for our dreams to come true.
Heather says
Thank you for your words. We are waiting to be placed with a daughter through adoption. I long for her as I longed for the four babies I carried yet I only waited 9 or so months for these babies to be in my arms. I have waited for more than three years. In some ways, much longer as our daughter was planted in my heart many years before our babies arrived. I am fixing my heart on God who is always God and faithful not on the unknown waiting. It’s hard but I know God’s got this:)
Mary says
Thanks for the encouragement! My son turned 2 in March and I am very baby hungry! Disappointment comes every month! I am 32 so I feel like time is slipping away and I don’t want my son to grow up an only child. I just try to be patient and trust that God knows best!
Dana Lashley says
I have been waiting, trying, hoping, and praying for another baby for 5 years. Sometimes peacefully, sometimes not. I’ve also had 3 miscarriages in the last 3 years. Two of them were early this year. The waiting is so hard, but I think the hardest part is getting pregnant after a loss, and the anxiety that can bring.
Mrs.W says
Amy,
Thank you for sharing this.
I too, was diagnosed with secondary infertility with the cause unknown.
It’s been two years of trying to no avail.
I’ve been stuck in my anger and sadness. I know the Lord’s will is perfect, but this hurts and the waiting is SO hard.
In my roughest moments it feels like gut wrenching, searing pain.
I’ve prayed and many have prayed for me. It is so hard to chose peace and not anger.
Please pray for me to FULLY trust in God’s will and for peace to cover me during this time.
There are times I feel like I might not be able to get through it.
Thank you.
Rebecca says
Thank you, I have been waiting for baby number 2 for about 2 years now. I’m still hopeful but I get so jealous and discouraged see other couples having babies.
Emily Pendleton says
Thank you for your encouraging, positive words! This is such a wonderful reminder. God is good!
Christine says
Pleae help me pray,i have started thanking God for the miracle of my second child,it’s been four long years of trying and waiting but one thing is for sure that our God is not human that He should lie and in His own time he makes things beautiful
Stefany says
Pleawe pray for me as I’m struggling with waiting. I lost a baby 3 years ago and started trying again 6 months ago. I feel hopeless every month every time I get my period. My faith is shaking and it deeply hurts.
Stephanie Lippincott says
I stumbled on your blog tonight. My husband and I have been married for 10 years. Through Miscarriage and fertility treatments, we are still waiting. I haven’t lost hope but there are days it’s just hard. Please stand in prayer with us for our hope to endure. We know God keeps his promises. I keep hearing and seeing the month of September and the sapphire. Who knows if that is the month we will get pregnant, adopt or when our baby will be born. But we will continue to wait and tryst god’s perfect timing. Thank you for sharing your story.
Courtney says
Thank you for sharing! I would really appreciate some prayers! After 5 years of secondary infertility, we got pregnant. We sadly miscarried just under 15 weeks. It’s been about 10 weeks, but it feels like 10 years. We have been waiting for so long. I know God is faithful, the waiting is just tough.
Amy says
Definitely praying! I am so sorry ((HUGS))
Georgina says
Hi Amy,
Thank you so very much for your encouraging story! I have two lovely healthy boys. And with them,it was so easy to conceive. We have been trying for our 3rd child for over a year now,and at some point,miscarried as well,devastating us both!
My relationship wit God has never been tested like this before. We will continue to wait upon Him. How I wish I could forget about this desire in my heart for another child…..its really painful!
Be blessed.
Amy says
Praying for you tonight. ((HUGS))
Mercie says
Waiting after loosing my two kids….the emptiness, tears,sorrows… Only God can heal.
Mercie says
Nothing to look at. everyday folding baby staff and keeping them back….thinking of how we could be playing,house so cold..only sleeping helps when free.can’t stop admiring babies I come across. Buying baby shawls n clothes have become a hobby telling my self one day it won’t be a dream.