A couple of years ago, I said I was frugal before frugal was cool. If you read that post, you might detect a tone of irritation. I was bothered that I had been working hard to pinch pennies long before Extreme Couponing and the likes ever hit the scene. In fact, truth be told, I don’t think Extreme Couponing is very frugal at all…most of that stuff they don’t NEED, and in my mind frugality only happens when you get things you NEED.
A few years ago, I sat near a woman at a workshop only to find out through idle chit-chat that she was what I would consider an extreme couponer. She had no babies, yet bought scads of diapers on sale. She would grab up tons of cleaners and shampoos and makeup and processed food for free in order to keep them stockpiled in her basement.
She was shocked that I didn’t use coupons more often than I do. I was shocked she was okay with stripping the store shelves of items she didn’t need.
A pantry lined with Febreeze and 409 isn’t going to feed my family. And I have no need for high dollar electronic Christmas presents for every member of my family…no matter how reduced they may be.
Call me practical, but I don’t get a rush out of buying a ton of stuff I don’t need. That’s not frugal, folks.
Back in the late 1800’s a woman named Lydia Child wrote a book called The American Frugal Housewife:
{FREE on Kindle and also available in paperback and hardcover – which I own}
In this book, she admonishes the ladies of her day to stop thinking that being frugal wasn’t necessary, but she doesn’t go on to tell them how to save money in impractical ways. She gives sound advice for REAL savings.
So, I would encourage you to look for REAL and PRACTICAL ways you can save money in your household. Don’t look at areas that aren’t necessary. A stockpiled pantry isn’t a sign of frugality unless the items in that pantry can feed your family with some semblance of nutrition for several weeks or months. A new jacket you paid a few dollars for isn’t a savings unless you needed the jacket. A deep discount isn’t a discount at all if you would have been fine without it.
So, think before you collect because frugal is useful and helpful and necessary.
Here’s a site that has proven itself to be quite useful. Jamerrill is a good friend of mine and her advice is always practical.
And if you homeschool, she also has a free ebook you can snag on homeschooling on the cheap:
You can also get my free ebooklet “Let Go of What You Own! A Biblical Approach to Decluttering” as a Subscriber of Raising Arrows. Sign up below:
Jaclyn says
Amen!
Mary says
Great post Amy 🙂
KM Logan says
I agree with you that extreme couponing doesn’t serve needs in most cases. but we had some friends of the family whose husband lost his job so the wife started couponing as a way to make $$$$, she’d shop full time then take her wares to the flea market on the weekend and re-sell them. Her family was able to live off that income.
Personally I’m just now getting through the last of my shampoo and toothpaste from when I was obsessive about couponing 3 years ago, after having 2 then 3 kids however, I can’t justify the time, plus no place around where we live now doubles : )
Amy says
I am not at all against using coupons and I have a friend who is very gifted in finding sales and blessings other with what she finds, but she has a purpose to it and it isn’t to strip the shelves or line her own shelves. That, I think, is key…purpose and necessity.
Megan says
YES. SO TRUE! Thank you for saying this!
Karyn says
This type of “frugality” seems really rampant in America. I guess it’s good that people are paying less but still…people will brag to me how they got this outfit for this price or how they clipped coupons and bought potato chips more cheaply. I don’t get it – how about just buying less? But I think people get that shopping high, even if it’s from scoring a sale, and simply buying less doesn’t produce that excitement.
Crystal @ Serving Joyfully says
For our family, frugality IS a necessity, but we’re okay with that 🙂
WHen I was using coupons, I was always frustrated at the “savings” people bragged about. I would see people all the time talk about “saving” $2,700 a month. To me, you can’t “save” that much unless you would have bought all that stuff and spent that much to begin with, which I never would.
My post this week for my budget series is a breakdown of strategies that we employ to feed our family of 4 on $200/month for groceries…without using coupons. For us, they are practical, common sense things that just require a little bit of discipline and household management to employ.
Leah says
I love The American Frugal Housewife! My hubby bought it for me because he said it looked right up my alley 😉 Yes, I was frugal before it was cool. And when people ask me why I don’t coupon, I tell them it’s because I buy ingredients, not food, and if I could ever find coupons on flour and yeast or milk and produce, I’d use them!
Amber says
I like this comment because I do the same thing. Even when I do find coupons for staple items, I find that usually the store brand flour/milk/sugar still ends up being cheaper. The best thing I’ve found is to store up staples during and after certain holidays when prices are really low. Stock up on low-priced turkey after Thanksgiving, hamburger meat and fresh corn after “grilling” holidays like July 4th, etc. Couponing is tempting, but many times the deals are for things I shouldn’t be eating and shouldn’t want my family to be eating. If I can get shampoo, deodorant, or soap close to free with a coupon, then I go for it, but in reasonable amounts. If it won’t get used in, say, 7 months, I don’t buy it.
Melissa says
i love the comment before mine and your post! That is so true. I do use coupons when I have them or when I can print them, but if you are trying to buy healthy items or even organic, well, there are not many coupons for those items. I like the website southernsavers.com because she has already done the work for you by finding out if there are printables to go along with what is on sale for the different grocery stores. When the specials come out, I check her website and print what interests me, which isnt much most of the time, because like you said, most of it is processed foods.
Alicia@through-my-is.blogspot.com says
Hello! This is my first time linking up with you and I cannot wait to visit the other links.
I am also not a fan of “Extreme Couponing”. If I can get a few free using my coupons, then I do it but it’s rare I ever remember to do this because it is a part time job in itself. To have 200 tubes of toothpaste is ridiculous to me. I guess there’s a difference between “frugal and simple living” than “spending less money on stuff” lol. Also, anything that is offered free in the store, etc, my mom will grab 5 of some item that is just clutter anyway. I think first and then pick up on if I can use it (or one each for my 3 boys if they can use it)
Danielle @ More Than Four Walls says
Great post and so true!
I hear people say all the time “I got this awesome (whatever) on sale for $5.00…” But if the awesome (whatever) is not something that’s needed or will be used what’s the point of wasting the $5.00?
I myself have fallen into this trap until I evaluated how I was spending our money and asked the Lord to reveal areas we could improve. This was one of them!
Blessings
Jennifer says
I am so glad to hear that I am not the only person who feels that way about extreme couponing. I love the IDEA of what they do. I would love to have a stock pile of some necessities to help my family in case of an emergency, but I want them to be actual necessities and not just a bunch of junk I picked up because it was cheap or free. I mean who wants to live on free chemical laden sport drinks or boxes of cookies if you can’t afford to eat things like real meat and veggies? I would rather learn how to save on good things to feed and care for my family well.
Shalene says
I would link up, but I don’t use my blog anymore. 🙁 No time. BUT I will say that I completely agree!! I have to buy many things in bulk because it actually saves me money to do so. BUT I don’t buy things I don’t need, and I don’t stockpile. I don’t even do the disaster preparedness, because I simply don’t have anywhere to store it. (Though I suppose it really would be a good idea to start this. It just isn’t in the budget to buy food we aren’t planning to eat, unless there is a disaster.) ;D Thanks for sharing this!
I’ve also been sharing with anyone who will listen about making our own cleaning and hygiene products… That saves me alot of money. 🙂
Elizabeth says
Thank you so much!!!
Mama Nellie says
Yes! I’ve been shopping loss leaders and combining those savings with coupons for 4 years now. When i mention i’m frugal and shop sales, people expect me to be an extreme couponer. Nope. That would not be the best use of the little bit of $ i have for food each month. People lose sight that in a shoestring budget, it’s the food portion that is the most flexible. If you’re careful with this, you free up $ to be funneled into other areas of your budget. There’s a worry and panic that used to set in for me, “What if I run out.” Matthew 6:25-34 part of Jesus’ sermon on the mount, i believe was written for anxious keepers of the home. It is the “consider the lilies of the field” section. “31 Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ … 34 “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” ESV.
Let’s not also forget how the Israelite, while wandering in the desert, tried to store up their manna which came to a bad end. Stockpiling isn’t demonstrating our reliance on God to provide our needs. There’s a balance to be struck there.
Crafty Mama says
I hear ya! I hate it when I see something on sale at the store, something I actually NEED, and it’s all gone! It’s like, Wow, suddenly a ton of people decided that they “need” this product just because it’s on sale! 😛 But you know what? That’s exactly why stores have sales! They want people to think that they suddenly need a product they originally never thought twice about. It’s a good ploy.
If I see something on sale that I need to buy, I may buy some extras, but I always try to leave some on the shelf for the next person, no matter how tempting it is to stockpile. And then I cross my fingers that the next person to come along actually needs the item and isn’t just being a sale snatching stockpiler! 🙂
Sarah says
Hi Amy,
Congratulations on your pregnancy and on throwing up. :). I suffer from morning sickness as well, and am down for about 4 miserable months. I understand what it means to be sick all of the time. I just wanted to let you know, the only thing that helps for me is Ginger Tea. Some times I drink it every 30 minutes, to just not feel so crummy or throw up. I thought about leaving this comment yesterday, and I asked my self if I even like Ginger Tea? Honestly, I don’t know. I don’t think about it. It just stops me from throwing up and I don’t care. 🙂 Good luck!
Rachel @ finding joy says
Lovely post and oh, so, true. I’ve learned that honestly to only buy what we need. Ever since Samuel was diagnosed with Celiac Disease the amount of couponing that I do has dropped since most items coupons are for contain gluten. However, I can still be frugal and wise – stocking up on gluten free items when they are on sale – ones that we love AND will use.
Wonderful post!
Rachel
Anita Harkness says
That’s so cool that you would mention the American Frugal Housewife. A few weeks back we went on a field trip to Sauders Village ( a mini village from the 1800’s , very cool by the way) and I saw this book on one of the shelves in the old farm house. So when we got back home I looked it up and am in the process of reading it. ???? I totally agree with you about frugal not being just a ” good” deal. It has to be a good deal that you need. I think staying away from advertisements( catalogs, commercials and magazines) unless I’m looking for something specific helps me to be more frugal. The more I see the more I want.
Coby says
Okay, this post – and many of the comments – help me! I love the idea of couponing, and if I find a coupon that I can actually use, then I will. But on the whole I’ve felt that I just don’t “get” couponing, like there’s something I’m missing – I have friends who do it and have saved so much money…but I think we feed our families very differently. I haven’t found a whole lot of coupons for whole foods/healthy foods type items. Not that I don’t enjoy Cheetos or a box mix of brownies occasionally, but that won’t feed three growing boys and a husband. Maybe I DO get it?
Whether it’s grocery shopping or clothes shopping, Hubby and I try to only buy what we need. If we don’t need it, it doesn’t go in the cart!
Thanks for the link to the homeschooling e-book!
Niki says
I agree! A penny saved is a penny earned! However, you’re right, filling your shelves full of useless things may border on a coveting /materialism problem!? I really want to check out that Lydia Child book!
Thanks for the link up!
Blessings!
Josi says
Great post! I’m right there with you…. frugal before it was in. I live a lot like those who previously commented and that is we eat healthier now so most of those coupons don’t apply to the food we eat so I don’t use as many coupons as I used to. My problem is that I covet the space that the extreme couponers have to store all their massive loot! HA! I would love to have it as a school room, something we can’t have in our small house! 🙂
Angie@Sunny Patch Cottage says
Oh wow…I couldn’t imagine all that stuff in my pantry/shelves/etc! I don’t do the coupons, but I do a whole lot of frugal. Not because I want to, but out of necessity. If we don’t need it, most often it isn’t purchased. I don’t understand extreme couponing, especially when you buy things you’ll never use, and just takes up valuable space that can be used for the things you actually DO use!
Laura says
I remember hearing someone say once something like – Great! It was 75% off! That means it was only 25% out of budget! I completely agree- it is definitely not a good deal if you didn’t need it in the first place!
Rebecca says
And I thought I was the only one…I could never get on the coupon boat cause my family hardly ever buys anything they were advertising…When they start doing coupons for fruit, veggies and meat…we may have to study up 🙂
Cara Rohde says
This is so encouraging for me! I have felt guilty off and on for a long time because I don’t use coupons much. I have always felt like I don’t have the time or energy to organize and actually use coupons before they expire AND I have felt like most of the things are things I don’t need. Nevertheless, I have still felt bad when I’ve thrown them away and thought others must have different, better coupons than me. This post validates what I’ve been trying to do all along….feed my family well without being in debt or going crazy trying to hit every sale, but simply buying what we need. Thanks!
Jessie says
Lol, I’ve always thought the same thing about extreme couponing. Why would I want 10 boxes of poptarts in my pantry if we don’t eat that type of thing? I’ve always wondered what people do with their stockpile, or is this a new rendition to hoarders?
Jamie @ Love Bakes Good Cakes says
Thanks for hosting, Amy 🙂 I love seeing all the wonderful ideas every week! I hope everyone has a blessed week!
Felice Gerwitz says
Finally! A woman after my own heart. I *detest* coupons and often would buy what I didn’t need! Thanks for being real.
Sandra says
So true. I must admit I use to be one of those coupon ladies. And my husband never got it. He would always says its better to buy when you need it. I have gotten away from that philosophy though. You know the other week a local church was having a free clothing swap and I was going to go but then I thought to myself – you know the children really don’t need anything even though it’s free.
Amy says
That is the hardest thing to walk away from….FREE stuff! lol
kelli- AdventurezInChildRearing says
thank you for the awesome link up!
kelli- AdventurezInChildRearing says
thank you for the awesome link up! and by the way- totally agree!!!!