A Christian home should be a place of peace, and there can be no peace where there is no self-denial.
~Elisabeth Elliot
We are a selfish people. As me how I know.
If it were up to me, I would spend my entire day sitting in front of this computer. Or perhaps I would sew and scrapbook to my little heart’s content. I would, of course, need to leave the house occasionally so as to go to a restaurant to eat because I really don’t like to clean up my kitchen. There are a lot of things I would avoid, most beginning with the letter “W” and ending with the letter “K” with an “OR” stuck there in the middle.
Oh, and I would demand that everything go MY WAY. After all, life is so much easier when things go MY WAY, right?
I know I’m not alone, ladies, but I am wrong.
Where in Scripture did we get the idea that everything is supposed to go our way? Where did we get the notion that whatever we think is right is right simply because WE think it. When did God hand the reins over to us because our ways make more sense than God’s ways. Answer: Nowhere, Not Ever.
Yet, those two little words –> SELF DENIAL <– seem to make Christians break out in a rash. Some plug their ears and pretend self denial isn’t commanded while others holler “legalism” at the top of their lungs. Self denial truly scares people, simply because it ain’t fun.
Take a moment to look up “SELF” in Scripture. Take about weighty stuff! God obviously has an opinion about selfishness!
Ever since I came home from the MOMYS Retreat, the Lord has been weeding out some rather un-godly behaviors. I made mention of one change He’s exacted in my life in this post, but I also alluded to the fact there were many more. Most involve some difficult words like SELF DENIAL.
Recently, I’ve been fussing over things that aren’t going as I would like them to go. For years I’ve wanted something in particular that I believe to be a “good thing.” However, this week I was reminded that just because I believe it to be a good and right thing does not make it part of God’s plan. Do I know God’s mind? (1 Cor 2:16) Is the word “good” in Romans 8:28 synonymous with the word “easy” or the words “what Amy wants”? Nope.
In addition to this, it is important I teach our children self denial. All members of this family must be willing to throw off their own selfish desires and put on a servant’s heart.
For some reason, we have gotten it into our heads anything difficult must not be part of God’s will for us. Any Scripture that becomes an inconvenience is quickly discarded and any path that appears too full of brambles is often abandoned in favor of a more pleasant road. We are not willing to suffer. We are not willing to give up anything that isn’t taken away from us.
So, perhaps you are wondering the specifics of self denial in my life right now. Some I cannot divulge, but I will give you a glimpse at where these difficult words are taking me:
*In order to run this household properly, I MUST get up earlier.
*I cannot spend copious amounts of time in front of this computer and be a good parent.
*There are certain chores within this household that are my responsibility. They are not fun. They are not easy. But, they are necessary. I must find a way to go about my work cheerfully if I am ever to expect the same from my children.
*There are certain dreams of mine that are not meant to be–at least not right now. I have to learn to be okay with that and stop pining away after them.
This is where I am. God is placing difficult words in my life right now. I am in a time of refining and honing, and as much as it hurts, I know in the end it will all work out for my good and His glory.
Difficult Words Series:
Self Denial – this post
Obedience
Diligence
Discipline
Contentment
Annie Harbert @ Beauty in the Surrender says
Good Morning Amy,
I found that this post really spoke to me this morning. We have experienced a lot of life changes with in our family since the beginning of this year: birth of a new baby, my parents divorcing, my husbands desire for a career change, a possible move, etc…
I have found that in my personal life I have allowed things to slide and have justified my slipping away with things like, “I am too tired and pregnant, someone needs to take care of ME for a change.” and “I don’t deserve for this to happen in my life right now.” (talking of my parents divorce). But you are correct that there aren’t any verses in Gods Word that say if we serve Him He will give us the easy life. No, we are to take up our crosses daily and be obedient and serve others. That’s hard for me to accept at times but I must. And I thank God that we don’t have to go at it alone, that He will supply all our needs according to His riches and glories in Christ Jesus.
Thank you for your honesty this morning! I really appreciated your post! ?
.-= Annie Harbert @ Beauty in the Surrender´s last blog ..An Organized Home =-.
AllieZirkle says
I love your honesty! Praying for ya 🙂
Allie
Candice says
Love this post. I needed to hear these reminders! As a dear friend once told me, “Sometimes life (homeschooling, chores, fill-in-the-blank-here) is a grind.” Not that we should have a blah outlook, but we should realize that it’s not always going to be fun and exciting. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Candy says
I’m right there with you, Amy. One reason I love your blog is that you put my thoughts into words more eloquently than I can. And to be honest, God is doing the same thing with me right now. Getting me up early, telling me to get off the computer, etc. etc. Thank you for your honesty. This early thing is going to be harder in the winter when it’s dark though!
Laura says
Amy, It never ceases to amaze me how you always hit the nail on the head. Your post on refocusing was what I needed as well as this one. In fact, the things you listed are areas needing work in my own life too. Especially, the getting up earlier but that also intails going to bed earlier and I am a NIGHT OWL–bad. Thank you.
Jennifer says
That was for me too Amy! Thank you for sharing your word from the Lord!
amber says
I needed to hear it as well. Thanks for sharing!
.-= amber´s last blog ..Garden =-.
Kristy says
I too know those same feelings. If it were up to me, I’d soak in a big bubble bath with a cup of coffee and a good book – all day. Then get on the computer! Awful of me! I tend to get ME focused a lot, but have to set ME aside and focus on what is best for my husband and children and house!! Great post!
Missy says
I hear ya! Good post.
Fruitful Harvest says
Like always awesome post!
I’m in a good place right now with things…but what you wrote is so true and its easy to get off balance with priorties.
Warm Blessings,
Georgiann
.-= Fruitful Harvest´s last blog ..Planting Peas and My Giveaway Winner! =-.
Kate says
I’m working on a lot of this right now. I can justify spending time in front of the computer often. “The kids are playing.” “My husband has them.” And so on. But it’s (usually) NOT in their best interest — or mine. Yes, it is good to spend a few hours on a weekend afternoon, during most of which they are sleeping, finishing my blogs for the week so that I don’t need to be on here too much after that. But I find myself using it as an excuse to sit, to do nothing. And right now my husband is making it easy for me! He takes the kids completely from 4 – 10 PM! Which is great, but….
Anyway, I’m sharing this with you because your blog has weighed heavily on my mind for the last several weeks. We have two children now, and are hoping for a third soon. I’ve been thinking about your “large family mentality” a lot and it’s something we’ve talked about a lot, too. I think number three is going to push me over the edge, and considering how “difficult” number two can be, I really need to be there now. It’s just a lot of little things.
But, your posts about large families are helping me get there! So thanks!
.-= Kate´s last blog ..Do Your Research!: Cloth Diapers =-.
Trish Howard says
Are you talking about me again! I know about the computer! I am often fighting an image of what I want my days to look like and my home and then get frustrated in not having it that way. I love to blog read and can spend hours doing it, to then have every interuption unbariable.
I moved the computer to the kitchen, away from the recliner (note “nursing for 2 hours at a time” was really, she is there sleeping and I am blog crawling.) and get a skeleton routine for me and the children to have a successful homeschool year. Good Luck with you adventures, I unfortunitely have dishes to do, yuK!
.-= Trish Howard´s last blog ..Cheeseburger Pasta =-.
Laney says
*In order to run this household properly, I MUST get up earlier.
*I cannot spend copious amounts of time in front of this computer and be a good parent.
Now this is just uncalled for…your blog is supposed to be about you, not me. lol!
Hope you are having a great week.
GapGirl says
you know, your so right… Self-denial is sometimes soo hard but I do notice when I turn the computer/tv off and wake up earlier… my day is much easier….
Thank you for the wake up call
Grace Wheeler says
I’ve actually been thinking on this for quite a while now. You wrote a post back in January (the 18th to be exact!) 🙂 that has really been repeating itself over and over to me.
You were talking about sometimes having to spend the entire church service in the hallway. You said “You cannot be selfish and be a good parent.” Ouch…that got me (and I’m thankful for it)! 😀
Up until that point, I had been holding bitterness in my heart that I do all this work to get myself and everyone ready for church on Sunday and then I get to participate in zero of it. Anyways, your post back then reminded me of my selfishness…
and this one seems to go along so nicely with that one.
I have a post sitting in my “edits” that I need to finish and post. It’s about MY problem with selfishness. I need to get honest with myself more than anything!
And you went to the MW MOMYS retreat? Ugh I’m mad at myself now. We decided not to go this year 🙁 Well, sometime I just need to take a little 2 hour day trip to come visit you and Lynnette 😀 Maybe it can be my birthday present to myself! loL!
.-= Grace Wheeler´s last blog ..I Love Him…MckLinky Monday =-.
Brandy says
Great post, as usual Amy! Those are some of the very same things I’m working on as well.
.-= Brandy´s last blog ..Just a Few Things we do to Save Money =-.
Shannon says
Amy-
Loved your post-very inspirational. I fall under a couple of those items that I need to work on-especially getting up earlier to run the househould-ouch!
Thanks for your thoughts.
.-= Shannon´s last blog ..End of the Year Clean-Out =-.
Joelle says
These words are so true. These same things have been what I have been challenged with for the past few weeks. Praise God He does not give up on us and is at work in us to conform us to His image. Yes it will all turn out for our good, which is really our sanctification for His glory’s sake. God bless!
Melissa Multitasking Mama says
Such powerful and true words! Thanks for the reminder!
.-= Melissa Multitasking Mama´s last blog ..Happy Birthday, Jared =-.
Marla says
Thank you, thank you for this Amy!
“*In order to run this household properly, I MUST get up earlier.”
This is a BIG one for me. I usually get up when my girls get up, using my excuse that I was up with the baby, or whatever. No matter how much sleep I get, getting up before they do really simply makes our day go better.
.-= Marla ´s last blog ..Something to Remember–The Little Things =-.
Denise says
Awesome post! Your specific areas of self-denial resonate almost perfectly with my own. Thank you for the encouragement to not give up the fight and to continue disciplining myself into the cheerful practice of self-denial.
It’s typical of God’s reversal of everything that we think “should be”, that when we can fully submit to His will is when we become truly free and at peace. My trust in that keeps me going many, many days when the world is wooing me otherwise.
Kristal says
This is just what I needed to read today!
Life isn’t about me, I know that, but it can be hard to swallow when I don’t want to crawl out of bed in the morning or the thousand other tasks I don’t always have a good attitude about doing.
Thankyou for this inspiring post.
Gidget says
Wow – this is exactly where I am right now! I am definitely addicted to the computer – so much knowledge out there – and, it’s so easy to feel like I am doing something if I am researching something, right? But learning does not equal doing 🙁
I am also seeing the results of my behavior in my daughter – she has proclaimed that she is lazy and she seems almost proud of it. I have been trying to work on this with her, but I do think that we don’t do enough work together.
And, I can completely relate on the dreams thing! I love acting and have been doing 1 – 2 plays a year, but I have noticed that it is really really hard on my family when I am in a show. I have one more that I’ve committed to (and luckily this one pays so at least there’s that…) and then I’ve decided that it’s time to hang it up for awhile – this is not the season I am in. Maybe the Lord will bless me with opportunities when they are grown, but I want to be completely present for my family.
Thanks for the great reminders!!