(Part 1 of this journey can be found HERE.)
On with the story…
Chapter 5
I was now pregnant with my 5th child; this being the second time I had become pregnant while practicing ecological breastfeeding (breastfeeding on demand, co-sleeping, etc). I nursed through the pregnancy until my 5th month when my father died. With preparations and time spent at his bedside, I found myself spending long stretches of time away from my 4th child. When we were reunited, he no longer wanted to nurse. Emotionally run down and physically exhausted, I allowed him to wean. He was 13 months old. 4 months later, his little sister Emily was born.
Chapter 6
My nursing relationship with Emily was publicly chronicled in my award-winning post entitled Breastfeeding: The Memory of Emily. You will have to excuse me if I do not recount that story here. This chapter is painfully short, as was my precious daughter’s life.
Chapter 7
As with my other babies, I had already been cycling regularly while nursing Emily. 6 weeks after her death, I found out I was pregnant with who would become our New Year’s baby, little Micah. However, his birth did not go as I had expected, and a tramatic emergency c-section put wrenches in our breastfeeding relationship from the get-go. I was too weak and tired to nurse him in a way that would boost my milk production for my “little” 10# 6 ounce baby boy. He required supplementation, which led to nipple confusion, which led to frustration. A month later, after I was finally healed from the surgery, I took him to bed with me for the day and walked away from the bottles forever.
Chapter 8
For the first time EVER, my cycles did not return until my newest baby was 9 months old! I was overjoyed! What was different? The only thing I can even remotely attribute this to was the fact that our diet now consisted of entirely organic meat. It’s my theory and I’m stickin’ to it.
The day Micah turned 1, I got a positive pregnancy test. He was weaned shortly thereafter…for personal reasons.
Chapter 9
In case you are counting, that is now 5 babies in just at 6 years, with Garin being born 19 days after my 3rd child’s 6th birthday. Of my 7 children, ONLY the ones born less than 2 years apart were conceived while I was breastfeeding. Sometimes you do everything “right” and God still bless! 😉
Garin is nearly 4 months old, is exclusively breastfed, and nurses whenever he pleases. By his own choice, he does not take a pacifier and has yet to figure out that his thumb can be peeled away from the rest of his fist so as to make only his thumb sopping wet, rather than his entire body.
He was not an easy baby to nurse in the beginning. Let’s just say the word PIRANHA is what comes to mind when I think of those early weeks. In addition to that, he was colicky until about a month ago. Add to that postpartum depression for the first time ever and you get a little bit of a nightmare, but we stayed the course. He nurses fantastically now, he’s a happy little guy most days, and my hormones are beginning to level.
The rest of this chapter has yet to be written. I don’t have a breastfeeding philosophy because I’ve never managed to have two children exactly alike. All I know is breastfeeding has been a wonderful experience, but not always an easy one. I cherish these years, and I am sure when I am an old woman, I will dearly miss having a nursling in my arms.
JenT says
I agree that no two babies are alike. I’ve had pretty much good experiences nursing. My second was my worst and since I didn’t know who to ask for help, I put her on the bottle earlier than I wanted to. This last one was pretty bad; at least from what I remember of the others. At the beginning he didn’t position right and I didn’t even notice. I got pretty sore, plus had a blister on one side that made it pretty painful. But now things are going great! And like you, I definitely don’t regret nursing and will probably miss it when my babies are all grown.
Suanna says
Breastfeeding is a wonderful experience, though it does have it’s periodic drawbacks. Thanks for sharing your story.
Nikki says
I smiled as I read this post as it reminded me of me.:)I have (so far)birthed eight children.:)More to be expected…..:)I have nursed all of my children,all have slept with me,some have had pacifiers(most have not)but until my last one was born 13 months ago my cycles have come back by my 6 week check up.Our closest babies are 13 months apart(I tandem nursed)and my farthest are 2 and a half years apart(with two miscarriages in between).I am so glad for each of the precious little ones that God has loaned to us.We pray he blesses us with many more.I have no explanation for my “different” cycle pattern this time but know God knows best.Thanks for sharing with us.
Amy @ Finer Things says
“All I know is breastfeeding has been a wonderful experience, but not always an easy one.” So, so true. 🙂
Amy R says
Reading your story enhances my excitement about nursing our new baby when he gets here. I loved nursing our girls, although it wasn’t always easy, and I can’t wait to have a sweet, snuggly, co-sleeping nursling again!
Nicki says
Amy,
I was looking over at your homeschooling page and would love to know more about a few of the new curriculum choices that you use: Balancing the Sword and the Apologia. I’m pretty sure that these are new ‘cuz I had most of your posts memorized 😉 What would you be using for a third grader?
Thanks!
Nicki
Amy says
Nicki,
I have a Lifestyle of Learning post coming out next week on Science that might explain a bit more about the Science. I did a post a while back on Balancing the Sword. You can find it here: https://raisingarrows.net/2010/08/the-bible-study-tool-that-surprised-me.html
Hannah says
It is interesting to hear of other like minded women’s BF experiences. After reading your story, I feel boring and predictable. lol Like clockwork, my period comes back at 18 months post partem, and I am usually pregnant 2 or 3 months after that. My fifth child is 18 months now.
She is cutting molars and recently bit me in her sleep (we cosleep too). I have a big puncture wound that is slow to heal, and I get anxious to wean her, but she is not wanting to. (all my kids weaned themselves around their 2nd birthday) Thanks for the reminder I need to cherish this time, since I may not have anymore. I will miss the special time that BF brings!
I enjoy your blog – keep up the good work. 🙂
Nicki says
Amy,
Thanks for that link! I look forward to hearing your take on Apologia. We will be doing the Astronomy next year and I’m pumped.
You’re the best!
Nicki
jennifer says
I think this is so great that you post this. My MIL always cites ‘support’ as a reason to ‘quit’ or ‘start’ doing things…And I roll my eyes. But when I had my babies, everyone in my family/friends nursed, and nursed long.Also our lactating nurse at the hospital wouldn’t let you leave until she was up in your business and showed that baby how it was done:). I’ve been other places where the nurse said ‘oh, you can’t breastfeed? Too bad, we’ll get you a bottle.’ It really wasn’t a question of would there be bottles, it was just something nobody I knew did. Or if they did they did it b/c they ‘had’ to, and weren’t happy about it. Those who are experienced nursers, take time to mentor someone. It can really make a difference.
Amy says
Well said, Jennifer!
Amy says
Thank you for sharing your story. I have been blessed to nurse all of my 5 children. They go from the breast to a cup. I have never weaned; I let them decide when the time is right. Two were at a year, two about 18-20 months, and I am still nursing our 5th at 13 months. He is showing no signs of weaning and I am not ready AT ALL! He will be our last biologically, and I will be so sad the day he refuses to nurse. BTW, my cycles always come back very soon as well, even though I nurse on demand.
Grateful for Grace says
What a unique journey. As I said in my comment on Part I, I love seeing how God uses our theories and philosophies to show us He is still sovereign.
I miss having a nursing baby like crazy. I may never have another one (I’m hoping we adopt and I can nurse him/her, but we’ll see.) and the time spent cuddling and nursing and bonding is some of my most treasured moments.
peggi says
I nursed all three of my children. The first for 2yrs 3 months, the second for 2 yrs and the third for almost 3yrs. With the first I didn’t start my period until he was 17 months. He nursed long and often. My other two were quick nursers, about 5 or ten minutes and they were done. My periods came back sooner with each child. It seemed for me the more frequently and longer they nursed is what made the difference. Nursing was the best even though not all of mine were easy to nurse.
Christine says
I loved reading this! I was just writing to a friend about this topic. 🙂 I am currently tandem nursing my two daughters who are 17.5 months apart- cycle came back at ~8 months despite doing everything “right”! And very different experiences for me too… My oldest is crazy obsessed about nursing and I can’t get her to wean for the life of me (which is why she’s still nursing at almost 2.5!), since she was born she has never refused an offer. Yet she is so independent in every other area. My super-clingy younger daughter (who will be 1 in a couple weeks), can’t ever let me put her down, but has no interest in nursing unless she’s starving. She also eats solids, takes a pacifier and sleeps in another room (but still wakes up for feedings)… And my cycle has yet to return this time around! Go figure. 🙂
Betty says
Not sure if you knew, but I am nursing my “record”. Isaiah is three yrs and 2 mos still nursing. 😉 Hannah nurses like a newborn, numerous times night and day. lol
Breastfeeding is part of our lifestyle, just like homeschool. You don’t work them into the day, you work the day around them. That makes it so much easier. 😉
Brandy @Brandy's Brood says
I don’t have a breastfeeding philosophy either I had 2 totally different experiences with our girls. When Gabriella was born (petocin, epidural, pain management meds thru IV), I tried … but I think she got nipple confusion from the pacifier they put in her mouth without my permission … and the 2 bottles she had (one w/o my permission) while I was resting. She never did latch on well. I tried pumping, but I dunno if I was doing it right or what, but I never did get much out for her. She was fully on formula by the time she was a month old.
Hannah (no pain meds or epidural at all), though, latched on like a champ and nursed like she had done it all her life right away. And here we are, 3yrs and almost 4 months later … and we’re still going. 😀
Brandy @Brandy's Brood says
Oh I meant to add that my cycle returned a week after the post-birth bleeding stopped, which lasted 6 full weeks. Oh yeah, that was so fun.
With Hannah, though, cycles didn’t return until she was 10 months old. oh that was nice!lol
Lauren says
Beautiful story. I’ve been reading for a while, but I’m pretty sure this is my first comment on your blog tonight. (I’ve been hopping around and getting caught up on old posts. 😉 )
Anyway, thank you for sharing your story. Although it’s sort of apples to oranges, I too, can totally relate with “doing everything right” and your body still not cooperating when it comes to breastfeeding. I’ve actually already written about it twice, after the birth of my third and fourth babies – in the “My favorite posts” section under my pic and info on my blog.
Bless, bless – hope you’re still enjoying those sweet snuggles and nursling moments. 🙂
Amy says
Wow! What a story! and I can only imagine the flack! I am so thankful God heals the brokenhearted {hugs}!
Rebecca says
I’ve been reading your blog for a few months now but I only just read this one now. It has definitely encouraged me to continue feeding my daughter even though I am wanting another – she is 14.5 months old and cycles haven’t yet returned. I just have to remember it’s all in the Lord’s timing!
Amy says
It’s a hard thing to remember! 😉
Emily M. says
Hi Amy. For some reason the links on this post aren’t working. I thought you would want to know. 🙂
Amy says
Thanks, Emily! I had a strange thing happen and I’ve had to go in and manually fix links, so I’ll get these working!
Tracy says
I totally just cried laughing at the term piranha! I was convinced that my 3rd baby was teething in his first month because of the pain when he latched on and throughout the whole nursing session. Thank you for sharing all this!
Amy says
Glad I’m not the only one. 😉
Darci says
While I have nursed all my children, I do not understand that whole bonding thing that other mothers go on about. Whatever it is that drives them to nurse in public uncovered, nurse till baby is walking and talking, try anything and everything to get baby to nurse even though baby doesn’t want to, etc. But to each their own I guess. I do sometimes think that it becomes more about mom and what mom wants than it has anything to do with baby and providing nourishment.
Anonymous says
I agree with you to a point. I loved nursing my kids when it was easy, and we DID bond that way, although we bonded other ways too, a fact which needs to be emphasized more often (it’s not just about the breast). However, I do think in some cases it’s about the mom’s emotional needs or the physical perks of breastfeeding (ie, faster weight loss and supposed health benefits) that drives them to persevere despite all kinds of obstacles. Even perhaps obtaining some imaginary medal for nursing all her kids to a certain age. I disagree with taking it that far, especially if the baby is obviously struggling to get enough to eat or it’s causing the rest of the family undue stress. My other kids did fine exclusively breastfeeding, but I had one who struggled to gain enough weight. After struggling and crying and stressing myself out over it, despite being heartbroken over it, I eventually came to the conclusion that it wasn’t worth it any more, and I quit. This child was supplemented from 5 weeks on and totally on formula by 6.5 months. The sky didn’t fall. She’s never to my recollection had an ear infection or any illness that lasted long.. She’s big for her age and beautiful. I researched formulas and went through several before settling on a goat milk formula, which she did fine on. I saw a lactation consultant, who told me everything was fine with her mouth and despite the pain I was suffering when she would latch, there was every reason to believe I could overcome this. Well, I couldn’t. Lo and behold 9 months later her pediatrician out of the blue at a visit said “oh I see she has a lip tie” and showed it to me. To this day I”m not really sure who was right. She’s 2 now and her upper lip frenulum may have stretched because I don’t see evidence of a lip tie now. However, back when she was a newborn, SOMETHING was making nursing extremely difficult. There’s a part of me that still grieves the nursing relationship I lost, but really, concretely, it didn’t make a huge difference in how she turned. I stopped and read this post and this thread out of curiosity (I do that every now and then), but we’re done having kids (God has used my husband to say no more, for now anyway, possibly forever), and it’s time for me to move on and enjoy the ones I have. I love the post that says that our quivers are full regardless of now many children we have. This is another topic I could go on about. I’ve run into people who seem to like to use the number of children you have as a barometer for spirituality. When people do that, it’s a pride issue, plain and simple. And pride can lead some people to make breastfeeding or breast milk a god, too. So, just my 2 cents.