Our dining room table
A while back, while telling you how I had made more counter space in my kitchen by using my dining room table, I mentioned the marks on the dining room table that were left there by Ty’s grandparents. Lisa asked to see the pictures of these marks, so today I am sharing those “blemishes” and the story behind them.
When Grandma Flo (as we lovingly called her) was dying, she requested we get her dining room table and chairs. She had rescued them from an old country church, painstakingly refinished them, and then fed her family round that table for many years. We were quite pleased to receive such a family heirloom, and as soon as we moved from our tiny apartment to a house, we brought the table home.
For many years, the table was only kept for special occasions. We had another table and chairs my parents had purchased at an estate auction that we used full time for meals and school. Our family was small (and for 2 years, Ty was deployed), so the big dining room table seemed like overkill.
The next time we moved, we had 3 children and no room to bring both tables, so we offloaded the set we had been using and made the Grandma Flo’s table our full time dining table.
The table came with 3 leaves, but one was warped. For my birthday one year, Ty had 3 more leaves made, but we quickly realized the gears in the table were stressed and were not moving as they should. There also wasn’t any center support, so when we gathered up enough money, we took it to a local antique restoration shop, and had a center leg put on, the gears reworked, and added some scrollwork that was missing on the side of the table.
However, at Ty’s specific request, the marks left by his grandparents were to remain sealed into the wood. A memorial to their legacy. A testimony to his heritage.
The water glass stain left by his grandfather:
The cigarette burns left by his grandmother:
The table had seen long hours of playing cards and I’m sure more than it’s fair share of off-color jokes, but that’s not what these marks mean to Ty. They mean grandparents who, despite their own meager earnings, always had enough to share with strangers. They mean grandparents who took time for grandchildren.
They are a legacy, a key to the past, a lesson for the future.
The Bible tells us to HONOR our fathers and our mothers. I don’t think it would be much of a stretch to say we should also honor our grandfathers and our grandmothers.
Sometimes when those relatives are not Christians or are a little rough around the edges or are downright ugly, we think we are exempt from the whole honor thing. But, I don’t think we are. I think when we have off-color relatives, we just have to be a bit more creative about HOW we honor them, but honor them we must.
We leave the cigarette burns in the table, not because we want our children to take up smoking, but because they are a piece of Grandma. A grandma only one of my children remembers. When we talk about the cigarette burns, we don’t dwell on the cigarettes, we tell the stories of many, many poor wayfarers who found refuge and a good meal prepared by Grandma’s hand and eaten around that table. We dwell on her generosity.
The fact that she was a little rough doesn’t negate the lessons my children can learn from her legacy.
So, tell your stories. Give your children the good, the bad, and the ugly. They all have lessons. They are all a piece of our children’s heritage.
Jodi says
Excellent post, and I couldn’t agree with you more. That is a beautiful table, marks and all. Popped over to read from Twitter. Thanks for sharing this post today!
Jaime Lynn Braden says
This post was the most encouraging post to me out of all the posts I have read in the past year. I was not raised in a Christian home and do not have a godly heritage. I am always dwelling on that and thinking how I will present things to my daughter when she is old enough to understand. I agree there are many wonderful lessons that she can learn from my parents and other relatives so I will focus on their many good qualities and rejoice in those. Thank you for this post.
Amy says
You are so very welcome! I know it is tough, but very necessary.
Cheryl@SomewhatCrunchy says
I think it is neat that she gave you such a huge table when your family was still small…she must have known something 🙂
Lisa says
Oh, thank you so much Amy! I can’t wait to show your table to my parents and our kids…we love this kind of stuff! Your post was perfect for me because I often struggle with trying to relate to a few relatives and it has been a burden on my heart for many years to try to have a better relationship with them and HONOR them, not just “make an effort”.
Kimberly says
BEAUTIFUL! So well said!
Yesterday, my Mother was pondering what to do with my father’s ENORMOUS desk…since the space is needed for something else my father would care MUCH more about (his grandson). I have been trying to decide whether to squeeze it into my little duplex! Your post removed all doubt…it stays with ME!! (My Dad, the accountant, spent half his life at this half ton piece of family history!)
I thank you! (My husband’s and son’s backs, however… not so much!)
Jessica says
What a wonderful way to remember them. Such a treasure.
Michelle says
That was so precious!
We have a gorgeous antique secretary desk that belonged to my husband’s great grandfather. There is a pirate sticker on it – placed there by one of his grandchildren many decades ago. And when he had it refinished he had them polyurethane right over the sticker because it reminded him of his legacy. It cracks me up every time I see it.
Rose says
Wow, Amy. That was really beautiful & very good food for thought. People aren’t simple are they? Most of us have both positive and negative traits regardless of our “demographic”.
Cheryl says
Beautiful!! Table and story!! Thanks for sharing!! So amazed at God’s wonderful timing for Kimberly! God is soo good!!
Erin says
Amy
Post request please: Would love to know more, see underneath pictures of how you made it possible for more leaves to go in without collapsing and getting tracks to go out more
We have an 8/10 seater, but as our family is 12 we desperately need to do something. We already have two extra leaves in, the table cranks out with a winding ‘tool’ (the table is also over a hundred years old) and has metal tracks they all move out/in with. but I just didn’t think we could do anything until your post. you’ve give me hope.
Currently we have another little table butted up, but not the best option.
Much thanks
Amy says
We took the table to an antiques guy who added in a large center support leg. He also reworked the slides to make them more sturdy.