“When is supper?”
“Is my hoodie clean?”
“Where did you put my book?”
“Mom, he’s looking at me. Can you make him stop?”
The questions came like rapid fire. It felt like I was training troops, dodging bullets, putting out fires, and building barricades with no time to stop. Exhausted, I dropped into my chair at the supper table. I hadn€™t even finished eating when the troops began asking to be excused from the table. Not a word of thanks and a few more almost rude demands followed.
The pressure suddenly demanded release. Bursting into tears I exploded,
“That’s it. I’m going on a walk, and I won’t be back until I’m good and ready.”
I grabbed my shoes and slammed out the door.
As I secured the laces to my worn and grungy tennis shoes I thought,
“This is all I am to them. Just an old pair of discarded shoes. They use me all day long, but at the end of the day I’m tossed in the corner and forgotten about.”
Photo from freedigitalphotos.net
Storming down the road, I continued my pity party.
“No one appreciates what I do for them. Not a word of thanks. Such ingratitude.”
The thoughts raced through my brain more quickly than my shoes pounded the pavement.
Catching my breath after walking a mile, I slowed the pace. The thoughts of self-pity began to taper off, but I still felt self-righteous in my thinking. After all, I did deserve some thanks and appreciation for all the things I did for my family and others.
With the physical exertion the turmoil in my spirit began to calm, and as the quiet pervaded my soul some verses came to mind.
“Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all. For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”
Mark 10:43-45
Suddenly, I felt humbled. True my ungrateful brood needed some training, but I desperately needed a change of attitude. Who was I to think I should have a higher status then my Savior? Here I was telling God that I deserved to be treated better than his Son. In the midst of the battle I had lost sight of my purpose. I was created to honor and serve My Creator. This is often accomplished through my service to others.
“Oh Lord, forgive me. My service was given with thoughts of only myself. I wanted my children to say ‘thank you.’ I wanted them to serve me in return. I wanted others to notice how selflessly I gave to my family and others. I wanted men’s applause.”
Arriving home I sat on the back step unlacing my shoes. Rejuvenated in mind and spirit I had a new prayer,
“Lord, let me be a shoe for your service. I may get worn, stepped on, and kicked aside, but grant me the strength to continue and in so doing share Christ’s love with my family and the world.”
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Natasha is a pastor’s wife and the homeschooling mother of seven children. You can read more from Natasha on her blog: Mother of Seven.
Hannah says
Wonderful post! Exactly what I needed to be reminded of this morning. I often get frustrated because my children seem to take everything I do for them for granted. A change in my attitude first will go along way. I need to do the job God has given me regardless of anyone else’s response to it!
hsmominmo says
A wonderful post!
This scene has played out in my own head, my own life, more than once.
Thank you for the reminder to take it to the Cross.
Cathy says
Thank you so much for this post today, I really needed it! God has humbled me and put me back in my place through this 🙂
Tammy says
Thank you! That is what I needed to hear!
Jenn @ The Purposeful Mom says
It’s great to see you guest posting here, Natasha! Wonderful post and a good reminder for all of us mommas 🙂
Rhoda says
Thank you for this post. After nearly a week without DH (business trip), this is about how I feel. Problem–I can feel this way when he is home, Definitely needed the reminder of Whom I serve and why I serve.
Tosha Ross says
I struggle with this so much lately.. I have felt like giving up so many times.. And God keeps telling me not to loose heart.. But I am so emotional.. And I guess I am self centered and I need God to heal me of this, thank you for your post and please pray for me.. 🙂 you can refer to me as DragonflyPrincess 🙂
Natasha@Mother of Seven says
Thank you for all the kind comments…This lesson is one it seems I have to re-learn on a daily basis. So much of the time I focus on self and not on God. So thankful for his grace. It’s always encouraging to me to hear from other moms facing the same feelings and emotions.
Writer Mom says
Yes, yes, yes! I can so relate to this message. The end result is so sweet, isn’t it? The Lord loves us so much and cares enough to correct and turn us back on His path.