I have yet to find two homeschooling dads who do things exactly alike. God is so very creative that you will never find two families with the exact same dynamics and circumstances. That uniqueness endears me even more to my husband because, as the head of our household, he’s sets the tone for our family. Yes, I am with the children all day long and have taken on the bulk majority of their teaching, but he is the one they follow.
The other night, I was watching a new documentary called Entrusted With Arrows. It’s about entrepreneurial homeschooling fathers.
Now, let me be clear, it isn’t homeschooling that makes a father extraordinary. It isn’t being an entrepreneur that makes a father great either. What the men in the film talked about was spending time with their children. They were engaged in their children’s lives. Homeschooling and working from home definitely lend themselves to that, but there are many a homeschooling, self-employed father who are even less engaged with their children than their public school, corporate world counterpart.
I was thrilled to hear all the practical advice given by the fathers in the film on how a man can go about starting up a home business. It was encouraging to see how God worked in each man’s life. While my husband is not a work-from-home dad, I noted he shared many of the important features of fathers who really infuse themselves into their children’s lives. He truly is an extraordinary father. Homeschooling has only solidified that.
So, what is it that sets apart my husband and the dads in the documentary from the average father?
According to the documentary, dads spend an average of 10 minutes a week with their children. This is quality, solid interaction. That is downright shocking…and sad.
How do extraordinary fathers remedy this?
Some start a home business, some take their children to work with them, some come home for lunch, some make phone calls throughout the day to their children, some take their children on “dates.” The list is endless as to what a father can do to spend more quality time with their children, but the bottom line is they make themselves available. They consciously look for ways to engage their children and be a part of their children’s lives.
No, not every homeschool dad is Voddie Baucham, who takes over schooling his sons at the age of 14, but the principle behind what Dr. Baucham does is applicable to every father. He is taking his role as a primary influence in his children’s lives seriously. He is teaching his sons the ways of a man…an extraordinary man…who will then go on to parent in extraordinary ways themselves.
And it isn’t just the sons. Several of the fathers in Entrusted With Arrows had daughters working alongside them. The daughters were learning to be helpmeets as well as cultivating skills they would one day need to run a household and/or side business like that of the Proverbs 31 woman.
It truly is a beautiful thing to see fathers who love their children in word and deed. Children AND families thrive under the headship of extraordinary fathers.
However, what I really want to offer you in this post is encouragement. Your husband may never work from home. In fact, he may never allow homeschooling. Perhaps you feel as though your family isn’t living up to its potential unless it looks exactly like the Smith Family down the street, who has a Daddy who offices out of his house and teaches math and science to his growing brood while mama puts her feet up for a while. If you are feeling discouraged and restless, I want to encourage you to see greatness in the little things.
What is he doing right now that is beneficial to the children?
What can you do to encourage him in his role as an extraordinary father WITHOUT nagging him to be someone else?
Are you living a thankful life? Would your husband say you are thankful?
What is your attitude toward your husband like? Do the children hear you belittle him or run him down?
What is one thing you can do today to show your husband that you believe in him and his ability to lead your household?
I truly believe every father has the potential to be extraordinary. Often, all he needs are a few fans. What better place to find those fans than in the fruitful vine and trusty arrows found within his very home?
Amanda says
Oh, Amy. This is something that has been on our hearts so much lately. Just this morning my husband said “I feel like I’m never here.” We have such a strong desire for him to be able to work from home, to have the children work along side him, for him to help with the homeschooling. But we aren’t sure how to go about doing it…or if it is even a possibility. But, I trust that if it is in the Lord’s will for us and we are willing to obey that it will come to fruition. Right??
Amy says
That was another thing from the movie I gleaned: God brought things into these men’s hearts as they humbly sought Him. Some had years before they were home, but God did bless their business ventures and equipped them to live out the desires of their hearts. May the Lord do the same for your family!
Renee Harris says
The way my husband was able to work from home was absolutely amazing. We had been living in Colorado Springs, trying to move to California (where I was born and raised) and it literally took a good five years to do it. We waited on the Lord, and remained content with our situation, but prepared everything we could in order to move (decluttered, got out of debt, etc.)
Finally, my husband approached me and told me it was time to take a step (leap!?) of faith… he was going to put in his notice at work that he was quitting. His parents had just moved to CA (they were going to move near us, and we told them to go to CA, not CO). He put his 2 week notice in and literally days before his final day, a job opening inside the company came up and it just happened to be a work-from-home position. He was chosen for the job and we moved with our five children to CA.
It was an absolute miracle and looking back, the Lord orchestrated the entire event, teaching us how to trust Him and prepare ourselves years before the actual move took place. I love that he works from home.
Kate says
My husband specifically works at 7 – 4 day. Well, he is home by 4. So he is with the kids from the time they get up from naps (if they take them!) until bedtime. Several hours a day. And if I am busy doing stuff he takes them himself so I can finish. He likes taking them to the park and working on little science projects with them (most recently: an air-powered rocket launcher and paper rockets!). We are lucky that he considers his home to be his FIRST priority. And it shows, the kids greet him at the door enthusiastically everyday. They love it when they get their daddy time!
Annie @ Beauty in the Surrender says
Thank you for this timely post. I am a homeschooling mother of 3 and my husband is a felony probation officer who works 10 hours days not including the commute time. He often times comes home very tired of dealing with the criminal population and doesn’t spend (in my opinion) enough quality time with his children. I know he wants to but he is tired and wants to unwind. Thank you for convicting my heart to pray for him and his relationship with his children. Pray is the best way to take care of things when talking or nagging doesn’t work.