Little boys were in abundance at Calvary Family Church.
I’ve always loved children’s books that give you a look inside something like a castle or a space shuttle. It’s a peek into a world not easily found. That’s what this post on Family Integrated Church and the next post on Home Church will hopefully offer….a peek inside a rare jewel we’ve come to love dearly.
First of all, I should note I am working my way backward. Calvary Family Church is the most recent church we’ve attended, and the church we recently left when we moved. We came to Calvary from a home church atmosphere after finding it in the listings at NCFIC.org (National Center for Family Integrated Churches). At that time, the church was meeting in a community building in a nearby town. Since that time, the church has met at a County Extension Office building and more recently, in a cabin on a Salvation Army camp.
Our order of worship stayed fairly consistent during those years.
10 am (ish) – Worship in Song
10:30 am (ish) – Announcements, Praise & Prayer requests, Prayer Time as families
11:00 am (ish–are you getting the idea?) – Fellowship Time (Snacks, water, and coffee served at this time. If the weather is nice, the children go out and play while the adults stand around and talk)
11:30 am (ish) – Worship with the Word (Usually Kyle would preach, but occasionally someone else–including my husband–would preach.)
Now let me take you a step further inside, as I give you a better view of each of these “events.”
Worship in Song
Kyle and his son, Jared, would lead the rest of us in singing hymns and worship songs. On some occasions (particularly Communion Sunday, which took place 1x per month), they would ask for requests. We would usually sing 4-5 songs.
Prayer Time
During this time, Kyle asks for any praise and/or prayers the group might have. We also sing Happy Birthday to the monthly birthdays during this time. After all the requests have been made, everyone splits off into family units. We usually scoot our chairs into a circle and pray through the requests people have made. Every family has a different method for doing this, but I’ll tell you our method so you can get an idea of what this would look like:
We usually pray in our family from youngest to oldest (with the exception of Dad being last despite the fact he is actually 6 months younger than I am 😉 ) We assign the younger children a prayer request, usually something they can relate to. For instance, Mr. Kyle’s knee is hurting him. Something like that would go to Melia who is 6 because she is able to comprehend knee pain. Whereas prayer for specific needs of Christians being martyred for their faith in other countries would go to a child who is older and can pray more fully for something of that nature.
Once our family is finished praying, we stay in our seats, trying our best to respectfully wait for others to finish before allowing anyone to head for the snacks.
Fellowship Time
At the back of the room is a snack table with water, plastic glasses, plates and napkins, and snacks provided for from the church’s treasury.
***Quick note of interest: While there is no formal “Giving Time”, there is a box at the back of the room where you can leave money for the needs of the church. At the time of this writing, those needs were payment for rent on the building and snacks. One man in the congregation serves as Treasurer and gives updates here and there about the state of the funds within the bank account. ***
It is quite possible Fellowship Time at Calvary Family Church is one of THE longest fellowship times ever known in the history of Family Integrated Churches. This time spans a good half hour, with children playing while the adults catch up on the past week’s happenings.
Worship in the Word
Kyle likes to say Calvary Family Church preaches Biscuits & Gravy Sermons, meaning there is something for everyone. Meat, milk, tasty biscuits…it’s all there! Sermons tend to be fairly interactive with others offering tidbits to add to the sermon here and there and questions thrown out to the children.
After church service is over, we clean up the building and say our goodbyes. Some of us get together later in the afternoon or later in the week to spend time in each other’s homes, but there are no other “formal” services throughout the week.
There is also a monthly Communion Service. Communion Sundays are quite different from regular Sundays. Those Sundays the schedule looks more like this:
Singing Worship with requests
Prayer Time as a congregation
Offerings to the Lord in the form of music, plays, Scripture, etc
The Lord’s Supper with each man taking care of his household
Fellowship Meal potluck style
In the Family Integrated Church model, you will find that each household is responsible for the training, giving, and evangelizing of their specific households. There are no church-wide programs for missions or tithing. If another family sees an opportunity for something of this nature, they are welcome to invite the other families within the church along (often done via a shout out on the Yahoo Group), but ultimately, each household chooses how they will give and how they will spread the Gospel as a family unit.
Particular blessings of this particular FIC?
1. Children truly are a blessing. No child is shooed away from his Daddy as he stands at the front of the church praying over the bread for Communion. No child is hushed when he plays his toy guitar terribly off-key during the Communion singing worship (for the record, that would be MY child who does this). No child is relegated to the nursery or children’s church. Everyone is understanding of the natural training time it takes for youngsters who have not quite mastered the “sitting in church quietly” art.
2. The LONG fellowship time. We went to a church many years ago that had a fairly long meet and greet time built into the service. At some point, it was decided this time should be cut out because it “interrupted the flow of worship.” However, what we saw instead was a disconnectedness amongst the Body. There were dire consequences for changing that one thing…the church lost its Family feel. We have always been thankful for a church that sees the need to connect in this way and makes this time a priority.
3. The Yahoo Group. Because the members of Calvary live as far as an hour away from the church grounds, we have found that the Yahoo Group is a great way to connect for announcements, prayer requests, and opportunities to serve others.
So, there you have it…a peek into a family integrated church! While this may not be typical of all FICs, it is the FIC I am most familiar with. I’d love to hear from others who have experience with family integrated worship. And of course, if you have any other questions, please feel free to ask away!
Tomorrow’s post:
A Look Inside a Home Church
Toni Kerr says
I took a double take when I saw the picture of the Kraft kids at the top of your post…. I thought I was on another blog 😉
Amy says
LOL…I wondered if anyone would notice!
Kari says
Thank you for this very interesting post Amy! Growing up Mormon and then converting to Catholicism I had no idea that there were churches that were “anti-families attending together”. I guess I’ve just always been around churches that encourage children and families to worship together. Thanks for the information!!!
Ashley says
Remember when our family visited Springfield,Mo? We visited a Family Integrated Church there that was really great. Every Sunday they brought food in and had a meal together and spent the afternoon together. The older kids planned games for the younger ones and they played nicely all afternoon. It was really great. You could tell they were a close knit church. We enjoyed it very much. I hope you find a church that meets your needs up there.
Judy Buessing says
We would be very grateful to have the name of the Family Integrated Church in Springfield, MO. We cannot seem to locate one on the FIC website. Thank you!
Amy says
My understanding is that it is defunct now. Sorry 🙁
Shannon says
Did you ever find a family integrated church to attend in Springfield, MO? We have been looking for one also.
Harter says
That sounds amazing! Thanks so much for the link to the website where you found the church!
Tabatha Perez says
Amy,
Thank you for the link! After 5 years of our Independent, Fundamental Baptist Church my husband and I have been seeking a church that is more family oriented. Very exciting.
dionne says
Tabatha,
Be careful because there are a lot of family based churches that carry a lot of the Independent, Fundamental Baptist legalism with them. They do not have them same gentle love for children as what I get from Amy’s post.
Elizabeth says
Wonderful!! My DH and I visited a FIC when we first moved down here to TN but it wasn’t in his comfort zone at that point. It was very similar to the church that you described here, I LOVED it! I’m hoping that if God moves us again we will be able to attend a FIC there. Thanks for putting the word out!!
Carla B says
I must admit I started reading this post somewhat skeptical of what this ‘movement’ meant. Picturing legalistic harsh looking parents shushing their immaculately dressed kids who were not permitted childrens activities or services (which must be from Satan). I was wrong! So fun to see Lynnette’s crew in your picture! I love the layout of your service as well as the focus. So different but so interesting.
Wendy Gunn says
Hi Amy!
We have attended an FIC, Cornerstone in MN (elder led), for the last 7+ years. Great idea to post on what goes on in one! It truly never occurred to me! We have you beat on the Fellowship Time by about an hour or more! 🙂 Our service is 2 hours long (10-12), and then Fellowship goes til 1:30 or 2:00. 6 hymns, led by Ryan, elder’s son, accompanied by piano, 3 violins and 2 cellos. 2 or 3 hymns before the sermon–given by one of elders, or an occasional fill-in like my hubby, a hymn, testimonies (men and boys only), hymn, communion every Sunday, hymn, Praise and Prayer. Different dads and older sons lead everything. We meet in a community center with kitchen and 2 bathrooms and set up chairs every week. We have about 400 people (I’m guessing the avg. # of children is 6) so every week one group is “out” to not exceed fire code) meeting elsewhere (a home or center) with same exact format, and Biblically qualified leaders who teach. After service young men set up long rows of 6′ tables, and bagels or muffins from Sams Club are served, with PB, honey, cr. cheese, fruit, carrots, water, coffee, tea. 3 families serve/clean up each week on a rotating schedule. 4 gals take turns buying “treats.” We have a space in the back where we can “store” serving items.
Ok, I will definitely have to post on this–sorry for way too much information! Anyone who would like to know more, please just ask! We’re listed on the NCFIC website, Kingston, MN.
The children do really well. During service, “walking” little ones in the back is a common site–nursing in the back room, etc. TONS of kids. I should include pictures. They go outside in good weather. Crowd control is sometimes an issue, but things go pretty well. I wouldn’t worship any other way–I LOVE IT!
Wendy
Amy says
Crowd control is ALWAYS an issue when the Lord has blessed a family with more than the average number of kiddos! 😉
Wendy Gunn says
You know what? I wasn’t even thinking of the kids! Just, lots of people! (how funny) The acceptance and love you would feel in our church as a mom of many is incredible–I just can’t express it. Sure, there’s some noise involved, and crying children–that comes with the territory, but you also have children hearing the Word, going home and talking to parents and being led to the Lord! and the cute sleeping child held by Dad as he goes up to lead a part of the service! and families growing stronger. Amy, if you don’t mind, I’m going to link to your article and post one of my own tomorrow/today on what our FIC is like. So many thoughts……
Thanks for doing this!
Wendy
Amy says
Absolutely! I can’t wait to read more!
Brianah says
Our youngest is 3 months and has been in church service with us every week (except the last 2) since he was born. I love worshiping with him and really wish our church was more open to having both our kids in service (our other is 17 months and wouldn’t sit still or be quiet which would cause problems with other church members). Thanks so much for sharing what you do! We are going to visit a FIC in our area to see what it’s like and hopefully try to integrate some of the ideas into our current church!
Tonya says
I love our FIC!!! We start the service at 10 with singing. Move straight into the sermon, which is done usually by our “lead” elder (we call him the pastor) but can be done by pretty much any of the men in the church. Then we have communion weekly – in our families. We circle the chairs, sing, pray, take communion and sing another song. Then there are announcements, one more song and we’re dismissed. Most Sundays we then have a potluck meal at church. The 3rd Sunday we do in home fellowship (or take the week off!) and in the summer we take the 3rd Sunday to have a picnic in a local park.
We always have kids making noise, drawing, laying on the floor, walking the aisles (MY 2 year old) and a few moms out in the hallway listening/chatting. Many times one of the dads will go up front to read or pray and a kid comes trailing after. SO SWEET!
Oh, and we meet at a local school’s gym. Our church has existed for 4 years now and we have about 200-225 attending every Sunday – the gym gets REALLY full!!!
Kacie says
Interesting! I attend a family-integrated church listed on that site, but it doesn’t look like waht you described. It follows a pretty formal liturgy, and the pastor has a seminary degree. I think the main difference between that church and the others I’ve attended is that children are encouraged to be in during worship, instead of somewhere else. There is a nursery option for parents who want it, too.
Amy says
Kacie,
All churches are different…even FICs. I’m amazed at how vast the difference can be.
Carysa Mendoza says
Hi,
I am fairly new to reading your blog and LOVE it! We are newly open wombers and I have been praying for my husband to change his heart about our church. It is definitely not family focused, they have a female head pastor and strongly encourage birth control. There are a lot of other things wrong with the church as well. I talked with my husband and he feels God wants us there. I do not agree and so I have been praying for him and seeking God. I pray that my children are not harmed spiritually by this church. I would appreciate if you kept this in your prayers.
Thanks!
Carysa
Amy says
Carysa,
Welcome! My husband and I stayed in a church for many years that he felt God has placed us in. It is quite possible, so shine there! Be that City on a Hill and show Christ’s love and mercy to those around you right where you are.
So glad to have you here!
amy
Carysa Mendoza says
Hi,
Thanks! I know that that is possible but it is hard for me as I am not getting fed and instead am dealing with temptations while at church. I would really appreciate prayers for him.
Thanks!
Sheri says
Wondering if you are in Missouri if you don’t mind my asking. Looking for a church closer to us. We attended an FIC but it’s over 1 hour away and it’s just tough for dad who spends his special children-time doing all that driving.
Amy says
Hi Sheri,
No, I am not in Missouri, but I do know of another family there who is looking for the same thing. It is difficult to find, but keep praying because prayer is how the Lord brought us to the churches He has!
joyce morris says
We would like to know where your family integrated church is located? We are in Carthage.
Joyce Morris says
Where are you living now? We are looking for a family integrated church, with modest dress in the South West Missouri area which has been a challenge to find, just wondering where ya’ll might be located? Thanks and God Bless you.
AManda says
You may really enjoy a congregation of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latterday Saints. There is no paid clergy and all are volunteers from the congregation for all teaching, classes and sermons. Christ focused and family centered.