Big families are like big dogs. We don’t have a clue we’re big.
It’s perfectly normal in our world to cook for a crowd every day. We whip our big vans in and out of parking lots like they are sports cars. We don’t bat an eye at the line of shoes by the back door or the pile of coats weighing down the coatrack. And it doesn’t even faze us that we take up an entire pew (or more) at church.
In fact, we don’t think we have a lot of kids because we always know someone with more kids than we have. Besides, for most of us, the children came to us one or two at a time, and we simply adjusted to the addition as they’ve shown up. We didn’t suddenly have 5 or 8 or 14 children drop in our laps one day. They sort of trickled in…right under our noses.
There are only a few times we actually have a moment of realization that we are indeed a large family. One of those times is when we see a photo of another large family. We think to ourselves, “Wow, that’s a lot of kids.” And then we count heads and realize…
we have more kids than they do.
Another moment of realization happens when we take them all to the store. If the stares from strangers aren’t enough to give us a clue, trying to fit all of us on one side of an aisle tells us that we do indeed have a large family.
But most of the time, we don’t notice.
We are just us, and we know each other well enough to see ourselves as more than a bunch of faces in a crowd. And as you get to know us, I imagine you will forget we are a large family too. You will start to see us as individuals. We will stop looking so much alike, and start looking like ourselves. And someday you might find yourself thinking we’re not that big of a family after all.
Shannon Guerra says
Ha ha, yes! The head count while looking at a photo of another big family? Totally guilty. Never realized it before, though. 🙂
Jen Buckley says
Oh goodness, I do that same counting thing!
Jessica says
Haha! My husband and I talk about this sometimes! People tend to just see the “crowd” of 9 children as a whole, and we are thinking,”Huh? It’s not really that many people–it’s just Mia, Christian, Hannah, Charlotte, Evelyn, James, Samuel, Juliet, and Susannah!” Because we are seeing them as individuals. And when people joke about us or them not being able to remember all of their names I think, “Do you know more than 9 people? I’m sure you remember all of their names? Ours just happen to come from the same set of parents, it doesn’t make their names any more tricky to remember!” lol Although I will say to that, that I suppose what could make it tricky is that all the children from one family would tend to look a lot alike; so I guess that could add an extra level of difficulty if they don’t know them well. I like that joke that there will be a quiz later on everyone’s names, lol!
Sarah in Maryland says
Haha! I posted my comment below before I read yours!
Jessica says
Lol! And we both have an Evelyn! Our Evelyn is energetic and feisty, (and somewhat accident prone! 8-0 )
Bridget says
I also have an Evelyn! She’s 4.5 years old and has such an amazing personality. She’s outgoing, feisty, smart, and also the most lovable cuddle bug!
Csmith says
This is so true! The only time I really realize that 10 kids is a lot of kids is when we go out to eat. We always have to wait for tables to be put together or for 3 booths to be found.
Becky B says
Love! So true. Especially seeing other large families.
Chandra says
We went caroling at Christmas, and when we got home the kids rang the doorbell and sang to us. As I stood inside watching then, not being “part” of the group as usual, I thought. “On my goodness, is that what we look like? Our family is so big and beautiful!” Kind of a fun realization.
Laura says
I definitely feel like we’re a big family when all the kids are playing in one room; it sounds like a tribe of Indians on the warpath! LOL
Tillie says
When things are overwhelmingly loud I yell above the din to our seven that it sounds like a daycare! And that is their sign they better tone down the volume and fast!
Sheila Mom to Seven says
That is SO funny! I thought I was the only one (referring to seeing pics of other “large” families). 🙂
This post us such an accurate observation. (I’ve only got seven kids.) 😉
Jennifer Capes says
I have 7 too & always count heads of other families photos! Lol. My husband recently took a picture of me & the kids & was, “Wow! Are those all mine?!” I guess because even at the dinner table I just see one face at a time.
Susan says
We did have 7 dropped into our lap! But we already had 6, so… When one more was dropped” less than a year after the adoption upgrading from our 12 passenger to a 15 passenger was no biggie. (Upgrading from my mini van to a 12 was a little sad, especially since it was brand new and we didn’t even know if termination would occur). We do roll call before leaving the driveway. We’re also the biggest family I know. We just met another that comes close! I’m the “lady with all those kids”!
Sarah in Maryland says
So true. I often find myself thinking, “what’s all the fuss about? It’s just Alex and Elizabeth and Aaron and Emma and Caleb and Evelyn and a new baby on the way plus mommy and daddy.” Others must think, though, about groups…the kids, the boys, the girls. Once they become individuals in their minds, it all seems so much less chaotic.
Heather says
HA! We have an Alex (Alexandra), Elizabeth, and a Caleb too. We also have a Grace. Just 4 kids for us but I still feel this post is spot on.
Lani says
Wonderful post Amy!
Adina @royal blessigs says
This was fun to read. I only have 5 children so it’s not as big as everyone else’s who commented, but I still feel the same way sometimes with 5!
C. Gabrielson says
I had to laugh. This is so true. Big van like a sports car! Pregnant with our 7th. When we are all together and I have to count heads, I quite often wonder who is missing. We’re supposed to have this ‘enormous’ family, and when we get together, it doesn’t look big at all. So I count heads, only to realize this small group of mine is it. I think, people call us huge??? (0f course, we started getting the stares and the ‘are they ALL yours?’ When we had 3 children. Seriously, THREE??
And the more children I have had, the easier life gets on me! I could stay in bed all day if I wished, and children would step up to the plate to keep house, drive to do errands, cook, take over homeschooling, and entertaining each other. I’m still in bed at the moment because my 7 and 10 year olds wanted to surprise me with breakfast in bed. Do I feel burdened with SO MANY children? This really is my normal, and I really do feel like a small family. I feel awkward calling my family ‘large’. It’s not like I have kids coming out of my ears! Yes, we have room enough for the next 20 kids to come along.
rebecca says
ha ha! you are so right… today a friend visited and confessed she and her 2 kids were rehearsing all of the kids names and ages on the way over since they hadn’t seen us in a while…
and I was puzzled as to why the coatrack in the front closet suddenly came crashing down this month?? Under the weight of the coats…and the extra playpens, etc. piled on top of it! oops!
yup- doesn’t seem that big to me 🙂 I see you and others with more kids than us and wonder what all the fuss is about from people around us- we only have 7!!
Sarie says
So true! A friend was telling me about another family with 5 kids and I thought, oh my! But then she reminded me that we have 5 children! I said ‘oh, your right’! 😉
Gena says
So true, Amy. Especially, looking at another family’s photo! And I think I’ll be more careful about not driving my van like a sports car. 🙂
–Gena
Amy says
Good idea!
Nikki says
My mom often comments on how noisy my house is when she calls but with 13 of us living here even just normal household talking seems loud I guess. Not to mention the amount of boots we have this time of year. We love it and would have it no other way.
Carla Nagel says
I grew up in a small farming community in Northern Michigan. There were 7 kids in our family and that was just like 4-6 other families in our church. Most of our closest friends were part of 7-kid families. We were kind of in awe of the kids that only had 2 or 4 kids in their house. They might even have their own room!! Wow!!
Sherry Hayes says
LOOOOOOOOOOVE this! So, so true!
corrie says
I love that i look at families’ pictures lately online and think, “Is that really all their kids?” I am adjusting to the look of many people in a family picture and am often surprised to see, yes, they are all there – it just doesn’t look that “big.” We have 6 of our own. 🙂
Melissa says
Exactly! Thanks, Amy!
Megan says
We have the added privilege to belong to a large community of large families. We really don’t realize we are big until we go home (we’re in sc & our hometown is in fl). Back home the largest amount of kids is 4 and we have 7. No one has room at their dining room table for all of us, yet ours can seat 2 large families comfortably.
We love our big family, and except for those occasionally rough days, we look at them a lot and marvel at how small we really are 😉
Lindsey Jane says
I have resisted the large family title for years. Because it never felt large to me. My Costco bill, that makes me feel like we have a large family. But otherwise, this just feels normal. I remember when we only had 3 and people tried to label us a large family. No. Just no. Now with 6, I still balk at the title. Six isn’t so many! Six is small in the world of large families. We are barely admitted to the club!
Karen crain says
Just wait til the grandbabies start coming! We have five sons, now five daughter-in-laws, and So Far–Eight grandsons and Eight granddaughters. Yes, when they’re all here, it’s wild. But because some live far away, we count it a privilege when they are all home.
Our kids grew up with friends families, that ended up with six and nine children.
“Yes, they’re all mine, but they came one at a time.”
Sarah P says
Very true Karen. My Grandparents have 7 children and their spouses, 22 grandkids and so far 19 great grandchildren! When we are all together it is definitely wild!
Daniel says
We resemble this post! Thanks!
Adrienne says
Yes! This. Especially making everyone stand on one side of the grocery aisle. But I wouldn’t trade it for the world…and my kids always- ALWAYS- have a sibling or three to play with. I never hear “Mommy, I’m bored”. We enjoy our horde, and laugh at the strangers (and family) who think we are nuts. They are right. We are. And loving every minute of it.
Jessica says
Haha! Yes to all of this post! Glad I’m not the only one who counts up ‘large families’ only to realize we have more and don’t consider ourselves a large family 😉 I also can’t be the only one who doesn’t quite know how to respond when I’m out with just three or four children and someone comments on ‘how full my hands are’. Uh, this? It’s practically vacation! We’ve got 7 and an 8th on the way…and I always think of you when I take a pregnancy test because I won a pack of 20 on your blog and all these babies means I’ve still got a ton of them and they’ll expire before I use any more!
Tina says
Or when I’m folding socks. Then I realize there’s a lot of us. One time I made the mistake of figuring out how many pairs of socks a family of 13 wears in a week and I almost quit right then and there. Lol. I don’t recommend figuring out numbers.
Amy says
Yeah, like the time I figured up how long I had been pregnant. lol
Genevia Luna says
Not big, Just beautiful. Each one of your girls has her own looks and each one is very pretty.
Sarah Dickison says
Spot on Momma ! I sincerely do not feel we have a big family…until I have to get all the kids to one side of the aisle at the Sam’s Club or cram all of us into a waiting room…or elevator. LOL ! This was a great read, and so very true. Thank you again 🙂
Reggie says
Haha! These are exactly the scenarios that came to mind for me as to when it becomes QUITE apparent we aren’t ‘average size’!
Tatiana says
This is so true. We have six children and it’s completely normal. Our neighbors accross the steet have two and to us, that’s just weird. Only two?
Gotta love the stares at the mall, movie theater, grocery stores, etc.
Tina white says
We have 11 and 1 on the way .. my husband and I have been together for 25 years .. our kids are 23 .. 22 .. 20 .. 13 .. 11 .. 10 .. 8 .. 5 .. 4 and 1 ? .. due Sept 2nd ?
Allie Olsen says
I LOVE THIS. Yes! Especially the “they have a large family” but they really have less kids than we do. LOL Happens all the time. Thanks for this.
Rachel lacey says
Love it…yes so us…14 babe on the way xx
Reggie says
This is where I buck the norm again…I am incredibly aware of our family size. Not because I’m embarrassed by it or ashamed, by any means, but because 8 people out and about just naturally fill up more space than 2. I can often be heard telling my children before we enter a store, “We’re already attracting attention because there’s a few of us, let’s not give them reason to stare any longer.” But do I think of myself as having a LARGE family? No. This is the family I dreamed of and God has graciously given to me. They aren’t big, just more.