A few weeks ago, I was able to connect with an old friend who is a fellow homeschool mom as well as a pastor’s wife. She was telling me how she has a parlor room in her home that she keeps free from toys and clutter that allows her a place to sit with a cup of tea and relax.
The concept of having a place you can go to relax may sound like a luxury you cannot afford. Perhaps you feel your home is too small or your time too limited to allow for space to relax. But, please, lend me your ear for just a moment…
In other cultures and in days gone by in our own, people took time throughout their day to breathe. Some countries take long lunches. Some countries take tea. Some countries even take naps! However, in America, busyness seems to be a badge of honor. Now, don’t get me wrong…we are to be busy at home (Titus 2:5), but taking a moment to drink a little tea or coffee, read a chapter in a book, sit and hold a small child, open a window and breathe fresh air are not marks of laziness. They are marks of thankfulness.
The Bible tells us to be still. When we are still, we are able to know God more because we take the time to see His handiwork in the trees and clouds, the shadows and light, fresh air, and our children’s faces. We are more in tune with the blessings we have been given, and therefore, live a life of thankfulness.
But, what if you can’t dedicate an entire room to relaxing? No problem! You can find this kind of space other ways.
The chair above is a hideous orange chair my mother-in-law picked up at a thrift store for me years ago. It is the THE MOST COMFORTABLE CHAIR IN THE WORLD! But, it’s orange! So orange I don’t allow it out in public! It sits in my bedroom with an end table beside it. It is a place I can go to nurse when baby needs quiet (or mama needs quiet). It is a place I can sit while I talk to my husband as he gets ready for work. It is a place I can go to have a heart-to-heart discussion with one of the children. It is my relaxing room.
I have a set of red-cushioned patio furniture I purchased a few years ago. Sometimes my relaxing room is there. I can sit in the sunlight and watch the children play. I can read a book or work on my computer in the fresh air. Sometimes I just go there and sit and do nothing but breathe.
Sometimes my relaxing room is a 15 passenger van with the windows rolled down and music on the radio. It is the place I find margin in my day. It is the place I praise the Lord for giving me all the little people in my rear view mirror.
Your relaxing room might be a tiny corner of the living room where you keep a rocking chair and your Bible. It might be a garden with stepping stones made by your children or a front porch full of plants and flowers. Wherever it is, it is a place you can go to be thankful. It is a place you can go to find just a tiny moment of retreat…enough to renew and refocus.
Not sure how to find a relaxing room of your own? Here are some ideas to get you started…
1. Choose a place you can keep fairly clear of clutter. I know in a busy household this can be next to impossible, but if you purpose to have one little space that doesn’t get overrun throughout the day, it really isn’t that hard to keep it clear. Yes, you will have to be diligent about removing items from the area that don’t belong, but trust me, it’s doable.
2. Put something there that makes you smile – your favorite quilt, a plaque with a Bible verse, a pretty notepad and pen, even just a nice coaster to set your coffee on! It doesn’t have to be elaborate.
3. Teach your children to respect the space. They should know they are welcome there, but they should also respect the fact that the space is for relaxing and not for horsing around or cluttering up. Granted, children are children and a stray army man or doll isn’t the end of the world. I’d also encourage you to allow the children to use the relaxing room for their own breathers if need be…or even help them set up a space of their own!
4. Find a few moments every day to go there and just breathe. Even if your relaxing room is just a couple of steps outside your back door on a rectangle of concrete, go there every so often and breathe deep. Thank the Lord for this day. Thank the Lord for this moment. Take a sip of tea and head back to your regularly scheduled life a little more relaxed!
Adina Campbell says
This is such a smart idea and as I was reading I was trying to figure out what my relaxation room is going to be. I’m going to have be creative though! Thanks for this clever idea!
Amy says
When you figure it out, please come back and tell me what you’ve done!
sarah says
Love this! It’s been something that’s been on my mind a lot lately. Recently, I rearranged our tiny living room and put my favorite chair in a corner where you can’t see the tv. That little corner is my relaxing room 🙂
Amy says
Lovely!
Linda @ Apron Strings says
What a wonderful post, Amy! The perfect prescription for surviving the noise of this busy world.
After seeing your orange chair I want to see the red cusions too! I think we all have a piece of furniture we try to hide or disguise from the public.
“Sometimes I just go there and sit and do nothing but breathe.” Yes! this is a MUST for every one of us. I know your words will encourage many today. Thank you.
Amy says
The red cushions are presentable in public. I had a photo of them, but they were covered in snow! lol
Jennifer Dewing says
This truly is an important part! My “relaxing room” is actually my sewing room. After years and years of sewing on the dining room table, then sewing in the another space of the dining room, for the last year I have had my own room (it’s our spare bedroom, but since we seldom/never have guests, it’s a better use of space as my sewing room). And it has been a life saver. Truly! Yes, the occasional Lego or car has founds it’s way in there (it’s right off the dining room, after all), yet that’s okay. It’s still a place where I go, yet still connected with the rest of the family, and sit behind my sewing machine and breathe. As I’m sewing, I can think of the things that aren’t pressing, yet are important to ponder. You don’t have to have a place where you sit and do nothing. It’s just important to have a place where you can sit and relax. Sewing is so relaxing to me! Speaking for myself, I don’t even have to be in there alone. Eventually, everyone filters in to talk with me or to just “hang out” (even my husband and esp. the toddler!) at some point or another, and that’s okay. I like that. But at other times, I’m in there by myself and I like that, too. The door is never closed because I don’t want to seclude myself. That’s not the point of my relaxing (and in reality, a good portion of the time I’m in there, my husband is working in his kitchen. Having the door shut with no one supervising our 8 children wouldn’t be relaxing anyway!). So anyway, there’s my 2 cents!
Amy says
I totally agree! It doesn’t have to be an alone place or even a super quiet place, and I like how you said you don’t want to seclude yourself. We’re not running away. 🙂
Jessica says
I absolutely love this line: “…are not marks of laziness. They are marks of thankfulness.” What truth! I also love how all of these ideas can relate to a prayer closet as well, something I’ve often coveted 🙂
Amy says
Absolutely! No need for an actual closet (I definitely don’t have an extra one of those!).
CabotMama says
Having grown up the oldest child in a family of six children with fifteen years between oldest and youngest, I have craved my own “relaxing room” since my early teens! I used to find my mom sitting on my bed (made before I left for school), breathing in the calm of my neat and orderly room. Even though I shared it with a sister twelve years younger, her toys were not allowed in there and it became the one non-daycare-looking room in the house! Now, as a mom of four young children, I have managed to keep my bedroom relatively toy-free, neat, and relaxing. But realistically, I need something a little closer to the kitchen. When we built our “forever home” last year, I carved out a little nook in a sunny spot at the end of the kitchen. In it, I placed a special family chair (was my mom’s when she was a little girl), set a pretty basket with a wood lid to serve as table, topped said basket with a potted plant given by a dear friend as a “new home” gift, and placed special items in the glass-panel shelves across from the chair. Now, I can relax for just a sec with a cup of coffee & morning devotional, watch the children play in the yard in the afternoon, or chat with a friend while dinner simmers on the stove. My children have been trained to not leave toys, books, etc. in Mama’s special chair. I’ve noticed that in the afternoon, when one child is feeling overwhelmed by the day, she will crawl into the chair with a book – and relax. Makes me smile.
Amy says
How wonderful!
Brooke says
WE HAVE THAT SAME CHAIR! COST $5! So ugly but yet sooo comfy!
Amy says
What a hoot! I can’t believe they made more than one! lol
Summer says
You are so right! I had my fifth last year and I finally got that perfect chair. It is a hand-me-down, and it is hideous, but oh so comfortable. The Lord knew I needed it because this child will NOT sleep. We spend a lot of time in that chair nursing. He is 9 months old now and has never slept all night. I am so exhausted between Homeschooling two and Public schooling two and getting up all night. I LOVE MY CHAIR. I did cover it with an afghan.
Katherine Glendenning says
Fabulous post! Enjoyed it much….may I recommend a slipcover for your recliner? Try overstock.com.
Ava says
This is such wonderful advice. My husband has just recently cleaned up a space for me with a similar idea in mind. But, silly me, I let it get cluttered all too quickly. I think I will need to be intentional about keeping that space free from clutter and a spot where I can relax.
Tammy Jones says
I love this idea! At night I make sure everything is picked up so I can just look out at it and breathe. Your mantel is so beautiful! What verse is on your cross picture?
Amy says
It’s from the hymn The Old Rugged Cross. 🙂