Crunchy.
Yep, that’s me.
I breastfeed, cloth diaper, eat whole grains, buy organic, drink raw milk, use herbs, and generally stay far, far away from medical intervention. In fact, I can count on one hand the number of times our family has been to a doctor (outside of the OB’s office) this year and last year combined. Not that I hate doctors–some of my favorite people just happen to be doctors by trade–but I do prefer to treat as best as I can at home before running to the doctor’s office for an antibiotic or some such thing.
So, WHY would I choose to go to an OB to have my babies when I could homebirth with a midwife–or at the very least, birth in a free-standing clinic with a midwife?
It all comes down to a simple phrase a dear La Leche League leader said to me as she helped me work through the trauma of my first c-section:
In 2000, I sought out a particular doctor specifically because I had heard she had a fantastic VBAC (Vaginal Birth After Cesarean) rate. I dearly wanted a VBAC and she was confidant I could do it. Sure enough, 2.5 yrs after my first child was born via emergency c-section, we welcomed baby #2 via VBAC. It was a beautiful experience–and a healing one.
After that, I had very little desire to go to anyone else. I was connected to my doctor through the thick thread of birthing success. I was having the best births I could have and I couldn’t imagine going to anyone else.
And then it happened…
My doctor decided she would no longer be delivering babies. I was devastated….to put it mildly.
By this point, we had shared 2 miscarriages, 4 live births, the death of my daughter, and I was in the middle of my pregnancy with Micah. Looking back, I am so very thankful the last baby she delivered was the child that brought such healing to our family following our daughter’s death. The birth was traumatic and I wouldn’t have wanted someone who didn’t know our grief to have delivered him.
So, the search begins…
I have no expectations. I shared a decade with this doctor. Is there even the hint of a possibility that I could find something similar somewhere else? I doubt it. But, I’ll make a good effort. I’m setting up some appointments to meet other doctors. (honestly, I feel like a dork doing this…how do you judge a doctor in 30 minutes?)
Would I ever consider homebirth at this point? No. It just isn’t in the cards for me. And I’m okay with that. I’m old enough now and have had enough children to know what I want and be pushy enough to get it…even in a hospital.
So, really, this search for a new obstetrician is all about me…and having the best birth I can have!
Fruitful Harvest says
Hi Amy~
When I needed to find an OB I asked around to other Christian-homeschooling mom’s. I was able to find a Dr./OB that prays over the baby right at the delivery and with the family. We chose him for that reason. We also liked that he has delivery for families with many children.
I had an OB/Gyn (I went to for a yearly..not for pregnancy) that told me not to have more babies because she said it could kill me. I’m still here. She also did not like the fact that we are open to as many as GOD sees fit.
Amy~
I will pray that God brings the right person/OB to you…..and that you will find/have PEACE knowing the choice you make is the right one for YOU.
What a scary but fun adventure!
Blessings,
Georgiann
Amy @ Raising Arrows says
Thanks for the support everyone!
kranberry- Yes, Micah was a CS; however, my old OB didn’t see any issue w/ VBACing again since the 2 c-sections were so far apart and I’m a proven VBACer.
The two doctors she is having me check out are VBAC friendly.
I am blessed! says
I love the idea of a homebirth, but I just can’t do it. My first birth had some complications- cord wrapped multiple times around the neck and I’m grateful God had me where we were. Since then it’s been smooth sailing, but I can’t help but think “what if”. I’m only in the hospital and day and a half anyway and the main thing is a healthy baby. That’s how I see it, anyway.
christinnjon says
Oh yes, this is certainly an important part of pregnancy/birthing! Be sure to be in prayer for each and every interview. God will give you peace on the one that is right for you!
Due to insurance changes, we had to change OB’s with my 3rd pregnancy when I was 7 months pregnant. I was seeing a midwife who was amazing and was devasted. But, after birthing my son through my new OB, I was more than satisfied with how it all turned out. Now I am going to be delivery my 3rd baby with this practice. Prayer has always been key for me in my births. God is always there!
I am SO happy to have some preggo bloggy friends to share this with me!! 🙂
kranberry216 says
Micah was a c-section, right? Now that you’ve had two C’s, does this baby have to be a C, or can you vbac again?
Desi says
Crunchy, huh? LOL- Join the club!
I don’t know what I would do if my OB decided to finally retire! He’s seen me through the birth of five of my children, he birthed my sister when my mom had her. He’s not intimidated by multigravida or even Multigravida with a history of Multiple Multiples! In a very strange way, I love him like part of the family… I trust him implicitly too.
Good luck!, sweetie, I hope you find your (next) perfect fit!
Kathi says
Good for you.I get the homebirth question a lot too, and after Ben, there is just no way.We choose to have our babies in the hospital for many, many reasons that are OUR reasons.I choose the best birth for me too.Good for you.
I hope you find what you need in a new doctor.There are more good ones out there than you think…we have 7 children, and have had 6 different (4 REALLY good) doctors deliver them.
– Kathi
Taking Heart says
Hope you find a great OB soon… I know how hard it can be to build a new relationship.
christinnjon says
Definitely important to find a doctor who supports a VBAC. I’ve had 3 VBAC’s now and am SO happy for that support from my doctor. 🙂
Shannon says
Amy, I’m new to your blog and excited to follow you on a pregnancy! I used a nurse midwife at her birthing center for my first two and was so sad when she closed shop. I went with a traditional midwife for the second two.
You might consider looking for a nurse midwife that works out of a hospital. Be careful to still check their stats. Some are just as ‘bad’ with their c-section rate and aren’t as vbac friendly as they say.
Sadly, here in OK once you have a c-section there is only ONE hospital in the area that will let you attempt a VBAC regardless of your history. The insurance liability was too high. Nice how insurance was allowed to make the choice as to what was best based on dollars.
I agree with asking around locally.
Angela says
Oh, Amy, I pray you can have another VBAC! I can totally relate to your desire. I had read your Birthing Journey post before, but I just went back and read it again. You said in that post, “It took me 8 years and 3 VBACs to heal from a 6-inch scar.” That touches me, because sometimes I feel like I’ll never fully heal from mine. But, I am continually making the decision to give all of that over to the Lord, because He sees the big picture. I hope you’ll keep us posted on your search for a VBA2C-friendly doctor.
Love and prayers,
Angela
Autumn says
Congratulations! I had wondered what you would be doing, knowing your awesome OB had decided to stop delivering. Your post has really encouraged me. I love the “have the best birth YOU can have.” A good friend of mine is always pushing for us to try homebirth and while I love the idea of it, after our experinces all those “what ifs” continually run through my head. Good luck in your search for another OB.
Tammy (Mom to this crazy bunch) says
Good for you! God bless you in your search.
Carrien says
I totally identify with you words, though I had that same experience with a midwife who has seen me through 2 VBACS a miscarriage and we’re on to the next. I love her. My births with her were beautiful and changed and healed me. She gets invited to my birthday party.
I guess it doesn’t matter what their title is, it’s that connection that matters the most.
Kacie says
Congratulations! I didn’t realize you were expecting. Or maybe I did, but then forgot. Anyway, best of luck with your search!
Young Wife says
Finding a new doctor is so hard. I hope you find a great one!
JessieLeigh says
Oh, I can totally understand where you’re coming from! And I absolutely agree with having YOUR best birth. I am sort of “anti-birth plan” and posted about that once… after my incredibly messy, scary c-section at only 23 weeks gestation with my second child, I realized you just can’t always plan… and what matters isn’t “how” your baby gets into the world. We all have to do what works and rise to the occasion… without judging others! Very well-written post!
Jennifer says
Yay for being “pushy” and getting the right birth for us -even at the hospital! I do the same thing and my OB is so supportive of that. I know what I want & don’t want and I am not afraid to kindly & firmly convey it to my nurses. I have had a great birth & beyond experience every time surrounded by family & friends plus great nurses and my wonderful OB!!!
amanda says
pryaing you find the perfect doctor for you to give you the best birthing experience you can have! i love that statement!! too many people judge too much about births. i overheard a conversation the other month b/n two women and they were talking about their friend and one said “oh she’s having it in a HOSPITAL!?” like it was the worst thing in the world. it made me sad. home birth or hospital birth isn’t it about the miracle?! me? i’d be way too paranoid to have a homebirth!! and can be pushy if i need to be!!!
and i’d be heartbroken if my OB left! she’s been here since my first miscarriage before amelya and for every baby since.
Ktietje85 says
I had my first in the hospital and my second at home…LOVED being at home. I would encourage you to look for a CNM, or even a CPM (certified professional midwife) if they can deliver you in a hospital. Find someone you are comfortable with who truly believes in natural birth and will support your needs. I hope that you find the person who is right for you.
I know you don’t want a home birth but it really was a great experience. 🙂 My daughter was able to come up only a minute after my son was born and she was just thrilled! It was really amazing for all of us. We’d never do it another way again and my husband tells everyone.
Mrs.Mike says
I had 4 births at the hospital and I am NOT a pushy person…wish I was. I didn’t like how they treated me. I had a home birth for my last one and felt it was right where God wanted me. Plus the mid wife came right to my home for my routine visits. So nice when you’re a busy mom. I had to endure a lot of people telling me I was crazy. I knew I’d had 4 births that had gone well and I prayed A LOT. All went well. I LOVED being right in my home. There was a certain peaceful feeling in the air that is hard to explain. Everyone asks if I’d do it again and I tell them that it is one of those things I will pray about when the time comes and go where the spirit leads me. I don’t think that either way is the ” right or wrong” way. May God lead you to the right Dr. for you.
Sally, Greg and Hannah says
Oh, one more thing…I am currently reading a book called “Silent Knife” about Cesarean birth prevention and vaginal births after cesareans. (Given to me to read by the young lady that will be my doula at the birth) It is a VERY GOOD BOOK and I highly recommend it to anyone looking to have a VBAC.
Sally, Greg and Hannah says
Oh…sounds so familiar. I ended up looking for a new doctor after Hannah was born simply because at my 6 month appointment after my cesarean, I asked the doctor if the rest of my births would be cesarean and she said “Oh probably.” (She didn’t even flinch.) Soooo, I said goodbye to that doctor’s office and began the search. Thankfully…I was able to find a good doctor who will deliver this baby via VBAC (Lord willing). She is the only doctor in the office and has two CNMW’s in her office that work with her. So, God willing, I will be blessed with the birth that I so crave and desire. Sorry for the long comment…but I can relate!!! God bless! 🙂
Valerie says
I love that line. Have the best birth “you” can have. I have had the opposite experience. I had two hospital births and was treated horribly. I was young and naive and did not push ANYTHING. If God chooses to bless us again with a baby, I would love to do a homebirth with a midwife. But already I get the judgments from people about my decision to homebirth. I think I will use your line 🙂
guinever says
You could ask local childbirth educators and doulas about doctors. They (we) usually know the low down for crunchy moms! Praying that you’ll find the perfect doctor for your pregnancy and beyond. I know you don’t live in my town or I’d give you some names=)
Steve and Amy Lou says
Hello Amy!
I am a CNM (certified nurse midwife) and agree with all that everyone has said. You need to find a provider that you can trust, which is getting harder and harder these days. I would encourage you to seek CNM care as many CNMs are VBAC friendly and will be hands-on with you during labor. You may visit http://www.midwife.org and type in your zip code to locate one near you. I would not recommend a home birth and think you might risk out of most birth centers. Many CNMs do provide hospital care.
I agree, you should interview potential providers and ask LOTS of questions: what is their VBAC rate? primary C/S rate? episiotomy rate? induction rate? All of these stats will you give you a better idea of how they practice. Wishing you all the best! Please feel free to email me with any questions!
Warmly,
Amy
Connecticut
Laney Homan says
I am in the same boat this pregnacy. I had to find a new OB cause my doc isn’t delivering anymore. Funny thing is, he only delivered K out of the five we have delivered so far, but I had a great relationship with him. During labor with K, he asked me to move into a position that he preferred. I said, “I don’t want to!” He started to tell me the risks, etc. Then he stopped mid-sentence and said “This ain’t your first rodeo, do what you want.” I actually laughed out loud in the middle of pushing her out. He was fabulous, and I like my current doctor, but I still am curious how she’ll be in delivery.
Wishing you the best.
L
Susan says
Oh my. praying for you on this journey.
Tereza Crump aka MyTreasuredCreations says
God will show you the way. Trust Him. He has provided for you in the past, He will provide now. Go to Jesus with the faith you have. He is always with you. 🙂
The Burgess family says
I have to say it’s refreshing to meet somebody “crunchy” who births in hospitals. Home births are great for some, hospital births work for others. and that should be ok!
Holly says
I really wanted to try a birthing clinic with a midwife but there are simply none close to me so I’m with an ob and will be at a hospital.
leanne says
Move to Australia!
I’m kidding of course but I’m currently searching for a crunchy OB in the US and it is hard. I had never even heard the term until i moved here and found out most Australians are considered crunchy. I love Americans and a lot of things about America but the health system is dreadful. It seems like doctors here just want to put on white coats and intimidate people. Back home doctors only wear scrubs or coats if they are doing something that would actually get them dirty/ risk infection. All doctors insist you use their first names and healthcare is a dialogue – not someone officiously handing out orders. VBAC is the norm and insurance companies don’t run the country. All women labor in a hospital on all fours, balls, walking around etc with midwives until the OB is needed. For me it was on day 2 of labour in the last 30 min when I needed a suction cup on my daughters massive head to yank it out after 3.5 hours of active pushing and for the stitches. You are safe because you are in a hospital with all the equipment. I had a major complication in the last 6 weeks of pregnancy so I would not have been without that reassurance, but i still wanted a natural birth. Everyone I talk to here is amazed my doctor ‘let me’ have a natural birth. My Aussie doctor offered an early induction but it was very clear that the choice was MINE, not the insurance company’s. I said no thanks and he was fine with my decision. Here insurance companies rule everything!
I’m sorry for my rant but I’m not pregnant yet and we are actually considering a huge age gap between our first and second and having a our second in our 40s so we can do it back in Australia. If we could just find a reasonable obstetrician and hospital here we could do it sooner. It sounds so simple but…..
It didn’t help that on my