The smile of contentment.
There is nothing like the end of pregnancy to force you to come face to face with discontent. I firmly believe God allows the end of those 9 months to be wrought with discomforts simply so the onset and rigors of labor and delivery will be a welcome change. What you do with the final stretch speaks volumes to your outlook on life in general…
as does any difficult situation.
There have been many times in my life when discontent has crept in. Often, those times involve things not going as I had hoped or the inability to control my circumstances. I wanted one thing, got another, and want only to complain about the whole thing.
One thing I have wanted for quite some time is to live outside the city. I don’t necessarily need to live in the country, but I would be thrilled with a smaller town. I’d also love to move closer to “home.” I think it would be great to have all the grandparents (who all live in the same general vicinity) to be only a phone call away, but it has been nearly 6 years since that was the case.
Yes, moving to this particular city 3 years ago DID bring us closer to my beloved “home,” yet somehow that wasn’t good enough because it wasn’t PRECISELY what I wanted.
Over the past 3 years, I have had to continually keep my discontent over our circumstances in check. It is easy to be jealous of those who live in small towns or country settings. It is easy to be jealous of those who find a home and stay there for years. It is easy to be jealous of those who get to decorate and remodel however they want because the home they live in is theirs. It is easy to be jealous of people who appear to be content.
However, I am finding that contentment really has nothing to do with geography. In fact, it even has very little to do with your circumstances. It’s a heart condition.
You could look at my son in the above photo and assume he is so joyous because of his new cowboy hat and boots. But, I don’t want to raise children who are only joyful when life is good to them. And guess where they learn what true joy looks like? They take their cues from mom and dad!
Joy comes from the Lord and resides in your heart. He gives it freely, but you have to be willing to let go of the tight grip you have on controlling your world. You have to be willing to accept your circumstances and live abundantly within those circumstances. You have to stop comparing your life to the lives of others and start living the life God laid out for YOU.
I get excited just thinking about it! God put me in rental in the city. God gave me 6 beautiful children with another soon to arrive. God gave me 7 precious months with a little girl who would forever change my life. All these circumstances and more could cause me to live a life of discontent; however, contentment does not choose me…I choose it!
Please, take a moment to share any stories you have of learning contentment or of your struggles with being content. I’d love to hear what God is teaching you.
Difficult Words Series:
Self Denial
Obedience
Diligence
Discipline
Contentment – this post
Anita says
Amy, I so understand what you’re saying. We spent over a year without a car and just recently got a car- it’s flashier, more luxurious and much nicer in general than I ever expected it would be and though I am thrilled with our car, I’ve realised I am not content… Somehow, during our year of being car-less, I think I may have excused my discontent as being perfectly reasonable and now have got into the habit of it! More work to do!! But I am so glad God is so gentle with us when he corrects us! 🙂
Love Anita
P.S. God’s richest blessings on your family as you wait for this new arrival!
Celee says
It’s a sober reminder that the Bible calls covetousness, idolatry. When we want what someone else has, it’s placing something in our hearts above the Lord, and that’s idolatry. It’s something we all have to guard against, but the good news is Paul says it can be learned. And if Paul could learn contentmnet amidst all his many trials and persecutions, I know I can learn contentment, too. I just have to remind myself that the grass always looks greener on the other side of the fence, but that it seldom is.
Celee
Clara says
I have gone through SO many lessons in contentment. Having married an American husband who immigrated to Australia to marry me, I have had a lot of discontent with my home-country (Australia) because of what I know of the way of life in USA (there are some things about Australia that I LOVE, and there are some things about American that I THINK I would love, but we can’t have everything!!)… I have also felt a lot of discontent in our inability to fall pregnant in the past almost-3-years. I have had discontent about living in a rental (like you) – I would love to have a place I could renovate or change at will, and a place where we could put down roots and stay with no thought of where will we have to move next? I have had discontent with many smaller issues too…
But when it comes down to it all, I hear ya! The Lord has been teaching me SO much about contentment!! 🙂
Whitney says
what a beautiful post!!! I have experienced many different levels of discontent and contentment in my life. As a military wife, I find the struggle to connect with people at each duty station to be the biggest struggle. Sometimes the Lord has given me a “lonely place” to teach me something I would have never learned otherwise….but I sure wish there was another way!
Carla says
I think contentment (or more accurately, dis-contentment) is a struggle no matter how much you have. It’s just part of our sin nature. That doesn’t make it any less a sin against our gracious God. One thing that has helped me in this sin struggle is the phrase, “Contentment isn’t having what you want, it’s wanting what you have.” If I make a point to look at what I have instead of “don’t have”, it makes me that much more thankful and content.
Blessings!
Michelle G says
Oh Amy,
I feel like you were writing about me. We live in a small doublewide mobile home with the toll road running through our backyard. I long for the day when we will have a place my children can play and I don’t have to worry about them. But for now, we live in a home that is 100% ours, completely paid for. When the city starts to drive me nuts, I simply head out to my parents farm in Peck. Contentment is a hard one for me…so very hard. But I know God has a bigger plan.
Village of Moms says
Thank you! That’s what I tell everyone who isn’t “happy.” I was actually just talking about that with a student about his soon-to-be wife yesterday!
On another note, I am a little opposite of you. Yes, we have moved a lot, have never lived close to family since the kids were born, and I want a “home” to really decorate and mark growth charts for our kids on the walls (we are also currently living in a rental for now), but I would love to live closer to a bigger city for convenience. You don’t know how much you miss it until you’ve moved away. We live in a small town (for the past year) and have to travel at least an hour to get to a big city to do anything (including buy some of our groceries!). With two young kids, one of which despises being in her car seat. Sometimes, when alone and without help from another adult, that hour car ride can turn into 3 rather quickly. Going to the doctor can be an all day affair! 🙂 I am really struggling to be content since our move, but every day is getting better. I love our town, the people, our church, but… there’s always been a “but.” I need to quit complaining (even if it’s not out loud and only in my mind).
By the way, you have been receiving some great comments from your guest post last week on our blog.
Kate says
This is hard for me. Right now nearly all of my friends are pregnant, many unexpectedly! We had wanted a December ’10 baby. No, I’m not pregnant, so now we’re looking at May ’11 at the earliest and possibly later than that. I have a feeling that we won’t get a baby until October ’11, nearly a year after we’d intended!! But I have to remind myself that this is God’s plan for me and it will be absolutely perfect even if I don’t understand it.
There are other things I want but I try hard to view them as things I am slowly working towards, which will happen in God’s time. I can be content to take small steps and wait for God to reveal his plan. This is looking to the future, yet being obedient to God all at once. 🙂
Courtney says
Well said- My Mom has always taught us that if you don’t enjoy the blessings that God has presently given you, then there is no way he is going to bless you more.
No one’s life is perfect (although it’s so easy to think that when you are on the outside looking in). It’s not until we truly love the life we have for what it is that we find true contentment no matter the circumstances.
I hate the last month of pregnancy, but it sure helps you to appreciate waking up in the middle of the night.
Dusti says
so true
we call it the wants in our home
there is always something to want and therefore ungrateful if we allow it to go on in our hearts but when we choose to be grateful and look for our blessings we find so much joy
Jessica says
I mentioned to my husband during the final month or two of my last pregnancy that God makes it so that as the baby is ready to be born Mommy is also ready for him to be born. The second trimester is what I call “honeymoon pregnancy”. You’re over morning sickness, you’re belly is cutely rounded enough to look preggo, you’re energy is back and you think, “This is great! I could stay pregnant forever!” I think *sometimes* discontentment is God’s boot in the patoot toward the right direction. We just need to be prayerful and know it’s when God is compelling us and not our own desires.
Brittney says
I completely understand! We put offers in on several houses. Finally one accepted. We had the appraisal and inspection. Appraisal came back less than we though. The buyer wouldn’t adjust the price. I was drained from the 6 months of looking and disappointment. So, we are still living in our one-bedroom, upstairs, in-town, no yard, no pets, no painting apartment. Clearly, I need to do some work too.
Laura says
Contentment is hard for me, too! I have been blessed to live in the country–yet only 10 minutes from my husband’s work. Have 5 healthy, beautiful children. Ten years ago the Lord dealt with us and allowed me to become a stay-home, homeschooling mom. I have been allowed to live in this home for 10 years–the longest I have ever lived in the same home. It is a church parsonage but the people allow me to remodel and decorate pretty freely. The Lord is blessing our homesteading efforts tremendously but I still have “needs” that I know are only wants and Satan uses it against me everyday. I am generally happy with our home and where it is. However, Satan often tells me that I need a home on our farm which is only 20 minutes from me now! Amy, I have come close at times to almost demanding God give it to me. But instead He has always said no. This last time I truly prayed for His will as I ask for it. He still said no but brought peace by helping me realize how blessed we are not to have the burdens that go with owning your own home. He has also given us one of those things that I thought could ONLY happen if we lived at the farm–a milk cow. Why did I not think God could work that out here? For now, I am content. It is a must that I watch out for discontentment because I know Satan is lurking just waiting to destroy.
Grace says
This was GREAT Amy! It hit pretty close to home for me too, as we are LONGING to live out of the city and on a few acres for these boys to be able to run and explore! It can often leave me discontent…but this was a great reminder!
valerie says
Oh how I STRUGGLE STRUGGLE STRUGGLE with this *sigh*
But God is so faithful to keep pushing and pushing and saying, “nope sweetie, you can’t quit yet”
lol
He is good.
Julie says
Ok, that picture is a “little Ty” if I ever saw one!
Amy says
LOL, Julie! I’ll have to tell him that! 🙂
Christy says
“Joy comes from the Lord and resides in your heart. He gives it freely, but you have to be willing to let go of the tight grip you have on controlling your world. You have to be willing to accept your circumstances and live abundantly within those circumstances. You have to stop comparing your life to the lives of others and start living the life God laid out for YOU.”
Thank you! I needed to hear that.
Debra Worth says
In one month (2 years ago) I went from being
*homeschool student
*living with a large family with oodles of people around
*surrounded by like minded homeschoolers and some more conservative homeschoolers
*living in a town of 2,000 where I could walk everywhere, everyone knew me, and everyone was polite
*having lots of friends I saw on a regular basis and I could relate too
*going to a small church
to
*graduating
*being married
*moving away from home
*moving to another state
*moving to a city of 400,000
*knowing my husband, and only my husband
*being the youngest married lady in the new church
*all the ladies I did meet had young children
*living in flat almost treeless Kansas
Also I lived in one house for eight years and have lived in three houses since coming to Wichita.
It was SOOO hard. Then Mark’s job (what brought us to Wichita) fell through. He was laid off. (This was shortly after our son, Christopher, was born). Mark wanted to stay. Me, I wanted to be a supportive wife.
This was two years ago, I finally decided. Wichita might not be “home”. But, I better either be friends with it or be miserable. It’s as simple as that. I’m praying for contentment.
Janet says
Just found your blog, great post. I have been blessed to be a SAHM for 19 years, and homeschool all of our 6 childern. We have a gorgeous 3300sq ft house in a lake community,yet I am not content.
We want to downsize, and get out in the country, but because of the economy, our house will not sell. So I am stuck with a big wonderful house that many people would love to have, but I am not content. The biggest problem for me is the unknown. Will it sell next year?, should we got ahead and make some changes, investing more money into the house? don’t want to do that if it will sell……just feeling very much in limbo right now.
You are beautiful! and have a beautiful family=)
Amy says
Janet,
I think the unknown drives us moms crazy! We just want a neat little plan so we can keep all our ducks in a row. Thank you so much for your kind comments and blessings to you while you wait. 😉
Desiree says
This spoke straight to my heart. I have rented in the city, and longed for the country, for 12 years. I really have no idea if or when we would be able to change that. I struggle with the contentment over that all the time. But this is clearly where God wants us, for now…and I have become intimately familiar with the battle against discontent and covetousness. The biggest thing I have learned is that, since my life isn’t mine, it is ok if it isn’t going quite how I want it to: my job is to be faithful where I am. “It is mine to obey, and His to provide…” 🙂