When we first started homeschooling, Ty (that’s my husband) was deployed. When he returned, he took a new job in a new city that allowed him to work from home – HUGE blessing considering he had been away for nearly 2 years!
While I was thrilled to have him right there all day long, I also quickly discovered how distracting it was to have daddy right there all. day. long. Those of you who have met my husband know he’s not a quiet, sit-in-the-corner with-nose-to-the-grindstone kind of guy. Add to that the fact that the only spare room in our tiny home had to be a multi-purpose room – Ty’s office, the homeschool, my sewing stuff, and the television all lived in that room! It was just short of insane!
It took a lot of getting used to – this homeschooling with dad working in the same room – but we managed to get it done, and now, I look back on those years fondly.
Why is Dad working from home so distracting?
No homeschooling mama wants to say out loud that her husband working from home is causing her homeschool schedule to fall apart because frankly, plenty of women wish their husbands could work from home and it seems terribly ungrateful to feel stressed by it. But, I’ll say it for you.
Having dad working from home is a blessing and a huge distraction all at the same time.
There are several reasons dad’s presence is so distracting.
- When dad works from home, his hours are more flexible, and he tends to float in and out of your day causing your schedule to be interrupted – often multiple times.
- Dad may need help with certain aspects of his job that require you to set aside your homeschooling throughout the day.
- Dad may be working near where you do school, and whatever it is he is doing is distracting the children from their work – or the mom from hers.
- Dad is fidgety or makes a lot of phone calls or talks a lot or anything else that tends to distract from school lessons.
I’m sure those of you with husbands working from home could think up a few more reasons, but these are the ones that first came to mind when thinking about why my husband working from home was sometimes distracting.
How to make dad’s presence less distracting.
Looking back, I should have homeschooled the children at the dining room table and not tried to work in the same room as daddy, but that’s where I had put my homeschooling books, so that’s where I had to homeschool…says the mom with no experience under her belt. *insert eye rolling here*
So, THAT is my first suggestion for making dad’s presence less distracting – don’t homeschool where he’s working! If your home can accommodate a home office or workspace for dad, that is ideal, but not everyone has that luxury. You have to make do with what you have and get creative. I know some dads who have an “office” in the bedroom or garage. Maybe you have a camper dad could work in or a desk in the corner of the living room.
(One thing you do need to consider is the fact that when dad works from home, it is VERY difficult for him to STOP working, so seriously consider this when trying to find a place for dad’s office.)
Another idea for making daddy less distracting is to include him in the school lessons! If you put him in charge of math or science, it will give him a break from his day and you a break from yours, and allow him to spend time with everyone while still getting school done.
Setting up a homeschool schedule when dad works from home.
One of the biggest issues when dad works from home is time management. You will need to have a heart to heart with him about when he plans to have his “office hours,” and how to schedule your homeschool hours to mesh well with his schedule. Work with him, not against him. Everyone will be much happier!
So, some ideas to help you create a workable schedule:
1 – Let Dad take the lead. More than likely, your homeschool can be flexible, so let dad set his schedule and you work around what he comes up with. So, for instance, if he decides to work from 8-11 in the morning and then take a long lunch break, don’t try to homeschool from 9-12. That last hour will be fruitless.
2 – School in the gaps. If you find dad is needing help here and there throughout the day and isn’t able to set a schedule that has you or the kids helping at a particular time, then school in the gaps. But, do try to get this next point…
3 – Try to find a 2 hour block. You can get so much done with 2 hours non-stop. I can homeschool my little ones in about 30 minutes, and my bigger kids are usually finished in 2-3 hours. Don’t try to multi-task (no laundry, cooking, cleaning, etc) – just homeschool. Make sure your husband knows when that 2 hour block is and ask that he avoid interrupting during that time. It is perfectly acceptable for you to remind him you are unavailable if he comes in wanting something during that time, but be sure you aren’t being wishy-washy about when you are schooling. Set the 2 hours block and stick with it.
Don’t forget to count your blessings.
I know you know this, but please remember to truly see the blessing of where you are right now. God has your husband home for a reason. He may not always be in the position to work from home. Embrace this season, and ask the Lord to give you some grace and the flexibility to school a little differently.
Wish your husband worked from home? You might want to read THIS!
Melodie says
This is so true! My husband works from home a lot (pastor) and he can be so distracting! We manage pretty well, but there are days everything falls apart because he needs help finding his keys, or starts singing in falsetto (don’t ask), or makes a pun from something he overheard from the classroom. It is a huge blessing to have him home, but some days I ask if he can work from the church.
NatalieR says
This is true also where husbands have irregular hours … mine drives truck long haul so can be gone a week or more and his days off vary so often it’s a “school day”. Now my children are older I’m incorporating checklists so they can enjoy time with him but still stay on task for the week.
JULIE says
I enjoyed this article, Thank you. Does anyone have advice for when Dad is home and does not have work hours. Maybe if he is on medical leave, unemployed or has an unpredictable work schedule or even a farmer who is home and in and out all day. . We homeschool at the kitchen table and my husband is constantly walking in and out of the room. Going outside to work and then the kids want to help him.
Anna says
I have had to just go with the flow. My husband will often come out of his office for a coffee break and take a few kids outside with him to do chores. Then they run off and play and I have a hard time getting them all back in to do the work I want them to do. We just have to work through the summer and be okay with falling behind schedule.
Nicole says
HOw do you manage to homeschool your little ones in just 30 minutes? Im doing first grade and k and it seems to take forever..
Especially since my little toddler likes to run around and hit people and get into stuff right now, and my kindergarden haa a sudden adversion to writing and just school in general
Amy says
I have some posts here that talk about it, but basically, I am focusing on Phonics, Math, and Handwriting. We do read in the Bible and have read-alouds, but actual seatwork is only about 30 minutes a day.
Amy Lumley says
While I don’t homeschool–my husband does work from home and it does cause special considerations. My husband has set hours at a virtual call center, so his schedule is not flexible. The main obstacle for us is that he works in the living room so everyone has to be quiet in that area as he is on the phone all day long. Luckily now he works mainly when the kids are in school and I’m at work, but it is always an adjustment during the summer when we have to avoid that part of the house. It is doable, just takes planning 🙂
Dawn says
My husband has always worked from home our entire 10 years so far of schooling 4 kids. It’s challenging yes, but more so a tremendous blessing. He has a work space and a schedule – as do we. But he is there when we need him and really close and involved with our days. There was a time when my kids had no idea other dads and moms had to leave for the whole day. My daughter was in tears one time asking,”Do some daddy’s leave all day every day? That makes me sad!”. It’s has really helped keep our family close. As the kids grow into teens they still love having dad here and while we know our situation could change any time we treasure the last 10 years! It’s truly a gift and while I’ve had days it made me crazy, I’d never change a moment.
Ruth abdnour says
I can totally relate! I hadn’t spelled out reasons or suggestions though…. So thanks for the helpful input! Especially the two hour block. Ruth?mother of nine
Heidi S. says
My husband works from home in two ways. First, we homestead. This is a huge blessing, but leads to many of the distractions you mentioned. I will plan this glorious day of homeschooling, and then the first thing he’ll say at breakfast is, “Nice weather today, I need the eldest four outside working with me.” What I’ve had to do is absolutely Let. It. Go. I used to feel resentment, and then God reminded me that I’m his helper–and not the other way around. We ended up changing the entire setup of our school year so we can be sure to get enough hours in but have freedom to drop it all if farm work needs doing.
But also, my husband has a “real” job, mostly from home – and it’s a very professional one. We set up his office in our bedroom- not ideal, but the only private space in the house. My constant struggle is keeping nine children quiet while Daddy’s on the phone all day- and Mommy NOT losing her cool when children are children. Any advice with that scenario- where the children are the big distraction?
Heidi says
Reading this in 2022… Feel like giving up because my husband has been home, unemployed, for the last 6 months. I cannot seem to find a groove or routine and I find it nearly impossible to “take charge” when he’s home. Getting very little school done this year overall. But trying to be patient and understand it’s a season we will look back on and grow through. Thanks for the thoughts and ideas! ?
Amy says
I hear you, Heidi! Is there a time of day when your husband is more likely to be away or otherwise occupied? That might be the best time to homeschool. You might also use a bedroom with a door as a homeschool room (even if it is your bedroom), so that you can shut out distractions. Then, set a specific time to school, and tell your husband that you’d like those to be your homeschool hours. That will give everyone a structure and routine to their day. I’d really have a heart to heart with your husband about all of this and see if you can come to some kind of understanding.
Mercedes says
Amy, I do t know how I found your article but I have been homeschooling for 17 years and this has been my biggest struggle! Long long story 5 children in between BUT now my youngest are 9 and 4 and I would like to teach the little one how to read and my 5th grader to be a confident reader, spelling, composition. It seems like since Covid my husband has had less and less work. Now he only works two days a month. I wish my older boys were better writers but with dad around we couldn’t get much done. I want to try to help the little ones more than I did my older ones. Thank you for your suggestions. I will pray much and try to implement!