It is a somewhat private place…tucked away in our bedroom. I can show people if I want to, but I can also be alone there.
On the wall, hangs a memorial sketch done by Bethany Kerr at Sketches by Bethany. If you look closely at the portrait of Emmy, you can see just the hint of wings behind her. It is the most breathtaking likeness I have ever seen. Bethany truly captured the essence of my Emmy, and this portrait has become one of my most precious belongings.
Underneath, is a shelf with some of the Willow Tree figurines we received after Emily died. The one in the center was brought to us by a friend while we were in intensive care during Emmy’s first surgery. It sat on a table at the front of the church on the day of Emily’s funeral. After Emmy died, we received 7 figurines, none of which were repeated, nor repeated the vast collection I already owned. This fact along with there being a total of 7 (the number of family members we have), was a comfort to us the way only God’s hand in the little things can be.
To the left of the scene shown above, hangs a beautiful ceramic wind chime with butterflies on it. This was a gift from a MOMYS friend of mine.
Currently below this scene stands the bassinet. This is the one item that holds very precious memories for my husband, and he is not quite ready for it to leave our bedroom. One of his favorite memories of Emily was when the children had burst in on one of her naps. My husband walked in to the bedroom to assess the damage, only to see little Emily’s fuzzy head peeping up over the side of the bassinet.
Eventually, there will be a small hope chest on the floor beneath the sketch. Our friend, Carrie, has given us this sweet little hope chest for Emmy’s things. Most of Emmy’s things are still in her dresser. I rarely open those drawers because of the emotion that lies within. I only go there when I really feel as though I need to touch her, and I have the time to grieve hard.
There are other gifts throughout the house as well, all sent with love from friends–many of whom we have never met in real life. There is the afghan crocheted by Christina from Bundled in Prayer (for more information, see link at the bottom of this page). I have wrapped myself up in this soft hug and cried many nights. There are other Willow Trees and statues inside and outside our home, all reminders that our Emmy was loved and will not be forgotten.
While I would not wish the death of a child on anyone, I do appreciate the words of my friend who has also walked this road, “So much is gained through the difficult times – I would wish that on others. ” She is speaking of that utter, helpless dependence upon the Lord that brings about such a sweet communion with Him.
My husband and I have chosen to share our Emily with the world. We freely share our memories of her and the testimony her little life was and is. We want others to know how God worked through all of this and how blessed we are because of it. But, there is still a time and a place for private moments. A place where only we can go. Some of our tears must be shed sitting alone in our bedroom, remembering. That is what this corner is for.