When you start homeschooling, you may find yourself in an uphill battle with people who do not agree with your decision. I find this tends to come most often from concerned family members and flabbergasted friends. Depending on your personality, you may feel compelled to “fight” with them over your decision and spout all the latest research and statistics on homeschooling, but let me urge you to refrain from doing this because…
“You don’t need to win the argument; just make the point gently and with the confidence that you are doing God’s will for your family.”
~Educating the Wholehearted Child by Clay & Sally Clarkson
There truly is no need to become defensive about your choice to homeschool. But, if you are feeling battered and bruised by those around you who are opposed to your decision, let me suggest a few reasons why this might be the case and a few more reasons why I still firmly believe you ought not engage in a verbal home school versus public school war.
First, a few questions to ask yourself when you feel offended by others being bothered by your choice to homeschool:
1. Do I feel God has asked me to do this or am I still questioning the validity of my choice?
2. Do I know why I am homeschooling my child or am I still unsure as to why I am wanting to do this?
3. Does the offense run deeper than both of us realize? Am I offended because I feel attacked or belittled or inadequate? Does the other person feel attacked because I have chosen something different than they have chosen and in doing so, I’ve suggested they are inadequate?
4. Was my tone prideful? Am I approaching homeschooling as something I do because I am superior?
5. Is there fear clouding either my thoughts or the thoughts of the other person? If so, what does the fear stem from, and how can the Lord turn that fear around for His glory?
So, what’s the other half of this? Once we ask the questions, we have to face the answers and understand why engaging in a verbal battle is not the answer to “winning”.
The path we take in life is not about man and man’s approval. (Gal 1:10) It is about walking with God and doing what He asks of us. It’s not your job to convince others to homeschool or convince them that your choice to homeschool is legitimate. Live a quiet life that is pleasing to the Lord. Live a life that is under conviction of the Holy Spirit. Live in a way that is in line with the how a disciple of Christ ought to live and behave.
You don’t need to be combative. You don’t need to prove your point. You don’t need to “win” the argument.
So, what do you do when someone takes offense to your choices and you find yourself being questioned? Here’s our answer:
“We take Deuteronomy 6 very seriously and feel the best way to guide our children in the Christian faith is to have them at home with us as their guides. We have been so blessed by our time spent homeschooling!”
We don’t become ANTI-public school. We don’t put on our boxing gloves and start duking it out. We don’t even give all the latest, greatest homeschool grad stats. This homeschooling thing is personal. I am very confident this is what the Lord has called our family to. Because of this conviction, I have full confidence in the path ahead being for my children’s good and His glory.
There really is no argument when you look at it this way. You can walk away from a fight, and not be bothered that you didn’t “win” because you have already won just by being faithful to what he Lord has called you to do!
Be confident – Not combative!