I’ve been going back through the blog posts from my Homeschoolblogger account and reworking some as new posts here and adding any to my archives that I would like to have here. I’m not moving them all because something within me doesn’t feel like that is right. She was born there on that blog, not here. However, she died on both blogs. Her life is not here and I don’t want to pretend as if it ever was.
From these old posts, I’ve gotten glimpses of Emmy…long before she was sick. I smile. I remember. And I long to share that part of her with you…the LIFE part. Who she was before malrotation ravaged her tiny body and eventually took her life. I want you to know the little girl whom we all believed was perfect and who now, truly is.
Here are some excerpts from posts I’ve been visiting:
Our little firecracker is here! I am having one of the easiest recoveries ever and our beautiful little daughter is here–born on the 4th of July just as her daddy had hoped.
At one week:
Baby only gets up once in the night, making up for all the sleep I lost while pregnant with her.
My first day alone following Emily’s birth:
I “made” yogurt & granola bars for breakfast.
I burned the meatloaf because I forgot it was in the oven.
I bonked baby’s head on the door jam because I was chasing after the 1 year old who didn’t want his diaper changed.
I said ‘NO’ 632 times to the 2 yo who thinks the baby actually likes to have her eyes poked.
A nice little old Jehovah’s Witness lady came to my door and eventually asked if I ran a day care. To which I replied, “No, they’re all mine and there are more.”
I realized shortly after that that I had neither changed out of my pajamas nor had I combed my hair.
Ah, but who cares! Made it that much easier to get ready for bed at night!
She [Melia] is very affectionate toward the new baby. Maybe a little too affectionate. In her effort to show love, she tends to grit her teeth, widen her already big eyes, and growl, “Squish, squish little baby” through her teeth while she squeezes the baby’s arm. When I ask her to be gentle, she unclenches her jaw and pets baby nicely once, twice, then it’s “Squish, squish little baby” all over again. [and Emily never cared one little bit]
And then there is our precious little bitty one. Her beauty is surpassed only by her happiness. She’ll *talk* to anyone who will listen. Our little 4th of July baby is a sparkler, a dazzler, a joy.
Today, February 10th, marks the 2 year anniversary of Emily’s home-going to Heaven. Today she slipped out of my hands and into Eternity.
I rejoice for her. I mourn for me.
I mourn for all of us left behind to wait.
We wait until someday when pictures and memories will finally give way to our Eternity.
To learn more about this path I walk, visit The Grieving Mother page of this blog.
GapGirl says
She is such a beautiful little baby girl. I can’t imagine the grief you must still have for that precious life. Thank God He promised us eternity! Praying for you thru this rough day…. xoxo
Erin says
My heart and prayers are with you! What a blessing to be able to celebrate her life.
Casey says
What a beautiful tribute. Praying for you all today
Jacque says
I remember this day, though I really didn’t know you then.
((((((HUGS, LOVE AND PRAYERS FOR YOU ALL TODAY))))))
Holly says
Thank you for sharing a little more about her. I really enjoyed reading it. Thinking of your sweet little girl and sending you hugs.
JP says
Emily’s life had a purpose. Her memory is a blessing to so many, and I remember you all in prayer on this day. Thank you for sharing this part of your lives. May you find encouragement … “Do not grieve as those who have no HOPE … our Hope is in the Lord our God …” Emmy is safe and sound and whole, and you will be with her again! Praise be to Jesus! Looking forward with you to that time which draws nearer with each passing day.
Quinn says
How beautiful and moving! Thank you for sharing it with those of us who weren’t around to get to “know” her. You’ll be in my prayers today.
Anonymous says
i have had you on my mind all week, remembering this week 2 years ago. getting that call from becky and letting out the tearful groan i didn’t even realize had come from my own mouth. i remember 3 days later being w/my sister as she brought a little girl into this world. crying tears of joy for her, but thinking of you and crying tears of sorrow for your loss. i remember thinking the Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away, Blessed be the name of the LORD! i enjoyed reading your blog today remembering all the wonderful things of Emily (your little firecracker!) I pray you will have lots of wonderful memories of her and the time you and your family had w/her this week.
God Bless you all!
Candi
Sarah says
Praying for you and your family on this precious day. Thank you for sharing your heart. Many blessings…
Sarah
Amanda Sikes says
Praying for you through a heavy heart and tears of sadness and loss. May we all help to carry you through this day by “bearing on another’s burdens”. You are on my mind and in my heart and prayers today.
kranberry216 says
Amy, I woke up with a heavy heart and tears, remembering what today was. I came immediately here to see what words came from you on this day, and as always, you have found the perfect ones. Emily was such a precious gift and I can remember so clearly holding her in the hospital both after her birth and shortly before her death. I can even remember how she smelled (wonderful!). Thank you for giving me the opportunity to know this beautiful little angel. Our thoughts and prayers continue with you, especially on this day, as you remember.
Jennifer says
Thank you for your beautiful post about your beautiful girl. Praying for you today.
Tammy says
Amy, she is SO beautiful. I pray that your sweet memories of her LIFE will make you smile many, many times today!
Ktietje85 says
It must be so bittersweet. Although I have no idea. Beautiful pictures! My daughter keeps saying “mommy” and “baby” as she looks at them. I honestly don’t know what to say because I know I don’t get it. I hope today is filled with lots of little wonderful moments for you.
MolleenCarie says
Amy,
What a beautiful post. Your journey has been long and hard, but praise the Lord for the light at the end of the tunnel! The joy and hope in this post is such a blessing to me, to know that God’s grace will get us through the worst nightmare. I pray for you every day and I’m still here reading, though I’m not as comment-happy as I have been in the past.
Amy says
I will be praying for you today. What a beautiful way to remember her on her homegoing day. God blessings to you!
Betty says
(((HUGS))) my dear friend. I still remember that day right before Isaiah was bornt hat you came over to help me finish his diapers. We were snapping away, and Emmy got the hiccups, for a long time. She never fussed during them like many babies would have. She would grin that little lopsided grin and go on, and then hiccup some more. She was a precious baby girl and I am glad I got to know her. (((HUGS))) to you and yoru familya s you continue to minister to others who are also chosen to travel this path. May Emmy’s life continue to open windows of opportunity for others to find God’s love for them.
Betty
Fruitful Harvest says
Hi Amy~
My thoughts and prayers are with you daily~
(((((HUGS)))))
Thanks for sharing your little Emily with us!
I aslo wanted to let you know I put “Seasons Of Love” from RENT first on my play list again!
(for the month of Feb.)
Peace,Love and Joy,
Georgiann
Carrien says
It is hard missing a child, even when you know they are held safe in everlasting arms. It doesn’t stop the grief of missing them on days like today. I pray you have all the comfort you need today.
Love and hugs.
seemommysew says
Thank you for sharing…praying for you!
Lilyofthevalley - Tanya says
((((hugs)))) You have been on my heart this past week. precious memories of your dear baby Emily.
Debbie says
Thank you for sharing with us the precious memories that you were able to share with Emmy. The pictures are soo precious! I will be praying for you during this sad and difficult time. My husband spoke about death during our prayer meeting tonight and it is us who are left here on earth that are sad and grieve much. You need much encouragement today and I pray that the Lord will be your strength and encouragement.
Sandi says
Amen!…to the last lineof the post…so true.
Those dates are inportant. They are like milestones along the way of life of remembering and grieving. Feb 14th marks the day our world turned upside down and we learned of our son’s fatal diagnosis. Valentines day has never been the same since. Even though it was 7 years ago it still looms large in my mind and heart.
PS I am trying your laundry method. I have some old colored baskets that I’ve taken out of the homeschool room. Each kids has their own color. We will see how it works. It is helping fold as I go. Thanks for the idea.
Lynnette Kraft says
I knew the day was approaching but couldn’t remember the exact day. Of course my heart goes out to all of you. I’m so glad you have allowed God to heal your hearts these past two years. God is so faithful. All we have to do is depend on him.
Love,
Lynnette
Mrs.Mike says
praying here too.
Grace Wheeler says
I commented on your Momys thread too, but just wanted you to know that this week in our morning devotions, we’ve been praying for your family as you face the “anniversary” of Emilys new birth into Heaven. (hugs)
FloridaMom2Seven says
Amy,
My heart just aches for you when I read your words about Emily and think of the most tremendous loss any of us can imagine…my prayers are with you, and if anything, you remind me to hold my children closer today, because we never know what tomorrow will bring. God bless you…
Angela says
Thanks for sharing these bits of Emmy’s life. Aren’t you thankful that one day you will join her in Heaven?!
I laughed pretty hard at your reply to the JW lady. It makes me wonder what her facial expression was. 🙂
Love,
Angela