Homeschooling and the Three Year Learning Curve

New to homeschooling? The next 3 years will change your life as you learn about yourself, your child, and what homeschooling is really like.

“The first three years are the learning curve. Give yourself a break.”

Those are the words a veteran homeschool mom spoke to me my first year homeschooling.  I was overanalyzing, overworking, and overthinking every single thing I did that year. Those words brought me back to reality and grounded me for the next 3 years while I found my way in homeschooling

Those words gave me permission to mess up, regroup, and try again.  They gave me permission to try new curricula, new schedules, new everything. They gave me permission to buy the wrong thing, try the wrong schedule, and learn exactly who I was as a homeschool mom.

So, if you are new to homeschooling, let me give you a REAL LIFE look at what you can expect in the first three years of homeschooling, and where you will be by the end of that learning curve!

You will discover who you are as a homeschool mom.

It is quite possible few women out there know themselves as well as homeschooling mothers know themselves.  We spend countless hours analyzing not only our teaching methods, but our personal strengths and weaknesses. After 3 years of evaluating everything from which homeschool methods make the most sense to you to which homeschool field trips and projects make you want to tear your hair out, you know yourself better than most anyone else.

In those 3 years, you learn about your expectations, you learn about how you handle disappointments, you learn what you are really good at and what you can’t seem to do no matter how hard you try. 

You even discover your own learning styles and needs based on those learning styles.  You become more aware of what types of curricula, lessons plans, and schedules actually work for you and make sense to you. You will find yourself able to pick up any homeschool curriculum at the local homeschool conference, and know immediately if it will work with your brain. (And you will also learn how to not talk yourself into trying a curriculum that doesn’t work well for you!)

You will read and read and read homeschooling books and blogs, listen to homeschooling podcasts, and begin finding bits and pieces of yourself among the pages and sound bites.

It will all start to click for you, and you’ll feel like you are hitting your stride, finding your groove, understanding exactly who you are as a homeschool mom. And it will feel amazing!

Learn how to create a homeschool schedule that works with your unique family dynamic in my ecourse: Creating a Homeschool Schedule You Love!

You will discover who your child is.

During the early years of homeschooling, you will find yourself researching…constantly. And while you will learn a lot about who you are, you are usually doing all that studying to figure out who your children are and what they need.

As a homeschool mom, you are naturally curious to know more about these little ones God gave you.  You figure someone somewhere wrote a book that will describe your child perfectly, and give you precise instructions on how to homeschool him or her.  But, just as you found only bits and pieces of yourself amongst the pages of all the popular homeschooling books and blogs, you will only find bits and pieces of your child there as well. 

Every child is unique; therefore, no book will pinpoint him or her exactly.  But, you will find helpful tidbits, you will implement them, and you will either be thrilled with the results or cast them off when they don’t work. 

All along the way, you are learning.  All along the way, God is revealing more and more of this unique individual He has blessed you with. And you will never cease to be amazed and fascinated!

Just as I believe few mothers know themselves the way homeschooling mothers do, I also believe few mothers know their children the way homeschooling mothers do. We spend countless hours in their presence, teaching them, studying them, mothering them, and motivating them. We get them better than anyone else, and we must never forget that fact.

You will try A LOT of homeschool curricula.

On your quest to find what fits your and your child, you will try curriculum…and try curriculum…and try curriculum. 

There will be “Aha” moments and moments you want to curl up in a ball and cry.  You will worry about money.  You will worry worry about gaps in their education.  You will worry about what Susie Homeschool Mom is doing with her children.  And sometimes you will just worry, and not know why.

READ > What I Wish Someone Had Told Me About Homeschooling

Slowly, but surely, you will begin to have more “Aha” moments than crying moments.  You will begin to realize if you buy it and it doesn’t work, you can sell it.  You will probably still worry about gaps, but you won’t be nearly so concerned about Susie Homeschool Mom {and if you homeschool for as long as I have, you end up unintentionally BECOMING Susie Homeschool Mom–the lady who isn’t NEARLY as perfect as everyone THINKS she is!}

You will find a vision for your homeschool.

One day during the first 3 years, you will wake up and realize you don’t know where you are going.  You’ve spent a good amount of time, money, and energy riding homeschool train after homeschool train, only to end up wondering where these trains were supposed to be taking you. 

Ideally, you would have set forth goals from the start, but realistically, even if you did, after riding the train for a while, you will probably realize your destination needs to change.

Homeschool conventions are a wonderful place to catch a vision.  I have met many a family {ours included} who have found the motivation and energy to make difficult, yet lasting, changes in their homes in order to homeschool their children more effectively for the Kingdom all because they attended a homeschool convention.  I highly encourage homeschooling mothers and fathers to attend their local convention each year.

I would also encourage you to surround yourself with good homeschooling books, blogs, podcasts, and YouTube channels from homeschool moms who have a similar focus and vision to what you would like to have in your home.

Books like my Large Family Homeschooling:

and Clay & Sally Clarkson’s Educating the Wholehearted Child (along with just about any book Sally has written!)

Podcasts like the Raising Arrows® Podcast

and Read Aloud Revival

Also, surround yourself with other homeschooling moms and families who have vision and purpose and exude a sense of peace, purpose, and grace.  They will be your cheerleaders when you feel you can’t go on any longer. They will be the ones who share with you the way that veteran homeschool mom shared with me all those many years ago!

And finally…

You will weed out the unnecessary in your life.

As you learn about yourself and your child and your vision, you will find many things you once thought to be terribly important end up being non-essentials you don’t have time to fuss over. 

These will be different for every family and every circumstance, but do not be afraid to give up things you once held dear.  If God calls you to it, He will equip you for it, and if it is time to let something go, He will give you the strength to do so.

I hope this post encourages all of you new homeschooling moms to stay the course without fear of “messing up.”  Those first three years can be so scary if you don’t feel like you are allowed to make mistakes.

Give yourself grace, knowing that the Lord extends this same grace to you! And in 3 years, revisit this post and consider where you’ve been and where you are now. I know you will be amazed and blessed!

New to homeschooling?
Check out my post:
7 Things New Homeschool Moms Need to Know

You might also like my Homeschooling Mother page!

originally published June 2010. updated April 2023.