Wednesday marked my 39 week and some odd day OB appointment. I’d had 2 really great days in a row, but once inside the dr’s office, I felt achy. I’d been contracting off and on (which continued for hours afterward…even had one while in with the doctor), but I know better than to get my hopes up that hours of contractions actually equal real live labor. And sure enough, around 8:30 pm that night, all was quiet…except my brain.
My OB had made it quite clear that my options were to go into labor on my own sometime in the next 2 weeks (which she fully believed could happen) or c-section. She felt inducing was just asking for a c-section and possibly a dangerous situation at that. And I trust her.
But I was discouraged. Discouraged by the unknown.
My last birth was less than one year following the death of our 7 month old daughter, Emily. I knew I was in for an emotional birth. Despite that fact, Micah’s birth still held surprises for me that I was very unprepared for. Because I had been drugged up through most of Emily’s labor and delivery due to a version (turning her) in active labor with a previous c-section scar, I wanted to be able to feel Micah’s labor and delivery…every single painful moment. And I did. Until the end. After pushing for hours, he never came down and finally a c-section was called.
And I was okay with that.
I was even okay with thinking I may have all c-sections from here on out.
That is, until I got further and further away from Micah’s birth. As time ticked on, I longed to VBAC again.
Yet, here I am. Wondering. Waiting. Will I go into labor on my own? Will I VBAC? Will I have another c-section? I’ve run the gamut in birthing experiences. I’ve done it all. The one all-natural VBAC I managed to have was by far my favorite.
But giving birth doesn’t come in neat, uniform little packages. Just as every child is unique, every birthing experience to get that child here is unique.
Do I really want to go another 2+ weeks? Um…no.
Do I really want another c-section? Nope on that one too.
Do I realize that baby will come when and how baby comes, and pretty soon that empty bassinet you see above will be full of yet another precious blessing? Absolutely! And that, my friends, is the only thing that keeps me going!
Laura says
Poor thing all that thinking you are doing, I am praying for you! May you have a whole bunch of peace and God will just bless you as you take every thought captive and not let your mind get all confused. You are a truly amazing, I follow you because I love seeing how God blesses you. Hang in there soon this will all just be a story how you had to wait. **Hugs**
Brittney says
I appreciate your approach to posting about child birth. My one baby come into this world via c-section and I often find myself being judged for that. It was already an emotional issue for and still is, but adding others opinions made me feel downright awful.
Your right! Every child entering the world is different! Different complications and different joys.
Lynnette says
Just stopped by to check on you and see how you’re doing. 🙂 I’m sure by now you are more than ready for his/her entry into this world but as we mothers know….it ain’t gonna happen until they are ready to make an appearance! (unless c-section steps in, that is) 🙂
Blessings on a beautiful delivery, Amy.
lynn
Celee says
I’m right there with you, well- 4 weeks behind you. I really don’t want to be induced this time, but as I get closer to the 38 week mark (when I’m normally induced) I second guess my decision. The main thing is a healthy baby, but I would so like a different birth experience.
Can’t wait to hear about your labor and delivery!
Celee
Jenny says
I hope your baby comes soon! Those last few days are so hard. My daughters were both nine days late. This time I am going to adjust the due date I tell people accordingly 🙂
Christin says
Amy,
Pray pray pray! Pray specifically for the labor you would like to have. Bathe your delivery in prayer, and you’ll know that you know that God has His hand over it. But if you want a VBAC, you pray for a VBAC girl. God cares!!!
I just gave birth to my 5th child two weeks ago…my 4th VBAC. I saw God’s purpose in my first c-section (totally unexpected, by the way). But I longed for a vaginal birth. Even from the beginning, I have bathed each labor and delivery in prayer, being very specific about what I would like. God has been faithful EVERY.SINGLE.TIME.
(((Hugs))) I’m looking forward to seeing pictures of your new precious one! If you scroll down on my blog, you’ll see our new addition. *Hugs*
Lisa~ says
Hi, I am praying for your birth and for peace and patience during this time. You are blessed. Lisa~
Grace says
I prayed for you this morning Amy!
Jerri says
(((Amy))) Praying for you!! I can’t wait to see pictures of your precious blessing. All this is SO worth holding a newborn!!! 🙂
Debra Worth says
OH, I pray it goes well for you.
Missy says
Praying that God will fill you with His peace and that all will go well.
Fruitful Harvest says
OOOHHH Amy~
The excitment of it all!
(my birthday is Sept. 18…so could you try for that day? lol just kidding)
I pray that you don’t have to wait that long!
You are in my thoughts and prayers!
I can’t wait to here how it all goes!
Peace, Love and Prayers,
Georgiann
Angela says
I really hope you get your VBAC! I totally understand that desire! It’s encouraging that you are ready to accept whatever happens, though! I’m getting excited to hear how it all turns out! 🙂
Blessings!
Angela
Anita says
Amy I am praying for you! God is the divine midwife (which means “with woman”- he is with you!!) and He is faithful! A friend of mine advised me to take the take left in my pregnancy to enjoy reading plenty of books to my children 🙂
Thinking of you! I can’t wait to hear the news 🙂
Donna says
I’m still reading, Amy, keeping my tabs on you and waiting for the glorious story of your baby’s birth…hang in there, God’s timing and plan are indeed perfect in His way.
Donna
Tara @ Feels Like Home says
I’ve been thinking about you for a couple of days. I know what you mean about not wanting to wait a couple more weeks. I think time all but stops around week 36 of pregnancy. I’ll pray that God brings you a quick labor – and does it quickly!
I’m still working on that guest post for you. Will get it to you soon. 🙂
Kelly says
Checking in on you, and praying for you, Amy! One way or another, pretty soon that little bundle of blessing will be in your arms <3
Charity says
Praying for you! Enjoy the “calm before the storm.” I pray peace for you that only comes from our Heavenly Father.
Kimberly @ Raising Olives says
Praying for you my sweet friend!
Lena says
I feel for you!! nothing is worse then waiting for that sweet little person to get here and to have your body back. God is the one who makes it happen, He is the One who decides. He gives us life, and He is the one who closes the womb. I pray for God to guide your body and your labor at the right time. Lean on Him, He will carry you.
Ron says
I added myself to follow your blog. You are more than welcome to visit mine and become a follower if you want to.
God Bless You ~Ron