It started as a suggestion from a friend. A way to connect with my daughters, especially my oldest who has a difficult time expressing herself verbally. It has become a treasure.
I call it Mother-Daughter Journaling, but it could easily translate into something you do with your sons or with your husband or even with your own mother.
Sometimes we can say in writing the things we can never find the words for verbally. And so often, the duties of the home get in the way of the relationships within the home. I didn’t want to miss out on the young ladies my daughters are, nor the young women they are becoming.
I purchased 2 simple journals from the local discount store and wrote in the first page a short note to each of the girls. I wanted them to know they could write anything€¦there were no rules and I would not be checking grammar. I handed each of them their journals and told them when they felt like writing, they could write to me and leave their journal beside my bed and I would write them back and do likewise.
It has been nearly 3 months. We don’t write every day, but when we do, the conversations are everything from “When can we get a dog?” to “Is it okay to disagree with your parents?” The girls look forward to me writing them back. If I don’t write back right away they are most certainly going to prod me to get on it. I look forward to reading what is on their hearts and minds. I look forward to learning more about them. I look forward to watching them grow in the pages of these journals.
Janice says
This is a great idea! My daughter is turning 9 this Sunday. I know exactly what to give her now! Thank you!!!!
Amy says
She’s going to love it!
Kim says
What a wonderful idea!!! Love it 🙂
Christa says
I love this idea. Thank you for sharing..We have three girls and three boys. I’m thinking of doing this with our oldest boy as well as the older girls.
Thanks again!!
Kelsey S says
What a fantastic idea!
Jennifer says
What a wonderful idea!! I am glad I am not the only one who feels like I don’t get enough time with my kids even though I am home all day.
Star says
My daughter (10) recently started writing me notes to ask questions or talk about things she felt shy about asking. I wrote her back and she loves it! She gets so excited to write back and forth 🙂 The journal idea is a fantastic way to do it and keep all those papers in one place! Thanks so much for the idea
Kim says
There is something about writing in a journal that allows for more honest conversation. We did this years ago when our girls were little, and we called the books Pillow Journals. How delightful it is to go back and read their entries. I just wish we had kept it up more!
Amy says
“Pillow journals” I like that. 🙂
Cari says
When I was young, my dad and I had a little pocket notebook we would write notes in. He worked the 3rd shift so he was always coming and going after we were in bed or before we woke up, and he slept most of the day. I left him notes about what I did that day or a song I really liked or whatever little kids think about… he’d always leave one for me in response. He died when I was 13 and that is the most precious thing I have from him now.
Amy says
Oh wow! How precious.
Rebecca says
THAT is beautiful!! I wish I had done this with my oldest but I still have 2 young enough to maybe get them on board to do it.
Michele P says
I love this Amy! I want to start it with my two older kids in January. Thank you for the encouragement to get started.
Kendra @ Living in the Shoe says
I LOVE this idea!! I also have a Megan – one girl among 5 boys and in no way do I want to lose her spirit. This might be another way I can connect and who her I love her! Thank you.
Maia says
Question: What are some ways to get the ball rolling with this. I wrote to my daughter but she didn’t write anything back. Any suggestions for questions or conversation starters.
Amy says
Just take an event that is coming up that she’s excited about and ask her about it. Ask specific questions to get her started. Some kids need time and practice to open up like this. 🙂
Yvonne says
This is a good idea. I need to start one with my daughter. I think it would help her better be able to ask question and talk. Thanks for sharing.
kim Crawford says
Thank you for this wonderful idea. I was just praying about this very thing. It seems like in the busyness of schooling and having two groups of children (3 bigs and 3 littles) that I find it difficult to connect relationally to my girls. My oldest daughter is a non stop helper around the house, but I don’t only want her to feel like all she has to do is help. I long for a deeper relationship. This is a great idea for fostering that in our home. My 2nd big daughter would benefit grately as well. So, I will be adding journals to my shopping list for today.
Sabrina K. says
I am so in love with this idea. Going to buy 3 books ASAP… I usually get “love” notes from them next to my bed or on my pillow, but this is a great idea!
Carla says
This is a great idea! I remember in High School writing letters back and forth between a good friend of mine. We would write pages and pages of stuff, on any number of topics. What a great way to connect with your girls!
Kari says
What a sweet idea! I have a daughter who will be 9 on Wednesday next week. We have a hard time connecting with each other a lot. It feels like we butt heads constantly! Maybe something like this could really help that! Pinning it for inspiration! Thank you!
Mrs. Amen says
Love this idea! My kids are all too little and don’t write yet, but I can see this working really well with my eldest son, he gets so focused on the dramatic performance of everything h is telling me, he forget his point most of the time.
I would also really love to do this with my husband. Unfortunately, he travels internationally for weeks at a time, so the journals would end up being very one sided and not get answered because we wouldn’t have them to exchange. Maybe our emails count?!! Lol
Verna says
What a sweet idea! I love this!
Theresa says
Love to see this – as a school counselor I have
Recommended this to parents soooooany times
Over the past 15 years a counselor. It is such a great
Idea and can be adapted however is needed. Great to
Keep the communication open. Hope more use this idea,
I plan to as my kids get older. Great reading about this.
Kathy says
Our girls would make special homemade mailboxes that we would leave notes to one another in. I like the journal idea because the notes are all attached & easy to store for keepsakes.
Stephanie says
What age do you suggest starting this? I have 1 girl who just turned 8. The other is 4–obviously too young to even write!
Amy says
Even though there are a lot of spelling errors, I am doing this with my newly turned 9 yo. 🙂
Laura says
This is a really good idea. I have several younger siblings that I struggle to connect with; it seems like sometimes, we’ll really just hit it off, but most of the time it seems like they’re just trying to annoy me. I’ve despaired a whole lot of times, wondering how to bridge the gap, and I think this would be a wonderful way to do it! Thank you so much for the idea!
Laura says
This is a really good idea. I have several younger siblings that I struggle to connect with; it seems like sometimes, we’ll really just hit it off, but most of the time it seems like they’re just trying to annoy me. lol I’ve despaired a whole lot of times, wondering how to bridge the gap, and I think this would be a wonderful way to do it! Thank you so much for the idea!
Sandi says
I’ve begun doing this with my 2 oldest girls thanks to the idea from this post. I’m already seeing good fruit from it…thank you!!
Cynthia says
My mama and I did this for years while I was growing up! Loved it! We were goofy about it, making up our own acronyms such as y.m.e.d.s. (you make every day special). Enjoy those beautiful moments. 🙂
Leanne says
Thank you for this! I have heard of this before and forgot about it. I, too, have a daughter that has a hard time expressing herself…her birthday is on Friday, so I think I will be buying her a (us) a journal!
Daniele @ Domestic Serenity says
Oh, my 10 year old and I have done this! We had a notepad shaped as a door hanger and wrote lots of notes back and forth. A journal is definitely much more organized. 🙂
Blessings on your communication & relationship with your girl!
Amy @ No Greater Honors says
I am so glad that I found this post! I remember you commenting on your facebook page after starting journaling with your daughters, and the idea had never left me. My oldest daughter will turn 10 this year,and LOVES to write in journals – I can’t tell you how many little notebooks (and big notebooks) she has filled out with writing. I love to read what she has written, and I remembered this post and knew this could be a wonderful tool for the two of us. You said it very well – duties of the home getting in the way of relationships in the home. This applies very strongly to this oldest daughter on mine and myself – she is a great help, but I know that she loves every minute of ‘just me’ time she can get, something that doesn’t happen often because she is the oldest of five children. When I mentioned to her this idea, she was very excited to get started, and I look forward to keeping her heart through these journals, and knowing that she will have precious things to look back on one day that were just between the two of us!
Amy says
Enjoy!
Reggie says
I must admit, the title of this post had me running in the opposite direction initially. I am not a good candidate for any mother/daughter nominations. But once I read the post in it’s entirety, I realized that not only is this something I could actually manage, it is also something I know my two oldest would find highly beneficial. Thanks so much for the inspiration!