You can see they are sisters…
Even though Aspen has aged past Emily’s life here on earth, sometimes I see glimpses of her in my little one’s eyes. And sometimes I call Aspen Emily. And sometimes I reminisce. And sometimes I forget to breathe.
8 years ago today, I said goodbye to my little Emily, and I had to teach myself to breathe again. I begged God for another little girl, but he sent me 3 little boys instead. And through it all, I learned to breathe…and live.
And then when 7 years had passed, God decided in His infinite wisdom that I was ready. Ready for one more layer of grief to peel back. Ready to hold another little girl. Ready to breathe even deeper.
This first year of Aspen’s life has been all about taking that deep, cleansing breath. It’s been about not fearing my own happiness or fearing my child’s death at every breath. It’s been about remembering Emily, not replacing her. It’s been about letting Aspen be Aspen, a different child with a different story. It’s been about healing an anxious heart and steadying a soul. It’s been about letting God guide me through the dark places into the light, into the fresh air…again.
Mama misses you, Emmy…
and I promise to tell your baby sister all about you…
You can read Emily’s story and see many of my Grief posts from the last 8 years on the Grieving Mother page of this blog. I also have a free 30 day devotional for those who grieve as my gift to you and those you know who are grieving.
Download and print for yourself or for a friend by clicking below:
Tara Sprunger says
Oh my goodness, I can relate, even though our stories are different. I also lost a baby girl… It’s been almost 3 years since my Selah Grace was born still, and I cuddled her perfectly formed, beautiful, lifeless body. God went on to bless and comfort me with another baby girl (Georgia Grace), who was born exactly one year later. But He wasn’t done yet. I’m now pregnant with yet another baby girl, due again in April, the same month that both Selah and Georgia were born. I understand exactly what you meant about the healing the comes as God sends live baby girls after losing a baby girl. You put it beautifully. By the way, this new baby will be our 8th child (living on this earth).
Charlotte Moore says
I can’t fathom the grieve you have lived with. Such precious pictures of them both. Yes, they sure favor.
GOD BLESS!!
Adina @royal blessigs says
What a beautiful little story. I have no idea what you’re going through, but what a blessing to be able to lean on God, our Comforter, through the whole thing. Thanks is for sharing ????
Adina @royal blessigs says
Umm, there were not supposedly to be question marks at the end of that. Sorry about that .
Angela M says
Praying for all of you!
God Bless,
Angela
Sheila Mom to Seven says
Thinking of you today, Amy.
Such beautiful girls. 🙂
Michele@ Family, Faith and Fridays says
Praying for you today as you remember and grieve and heal!
Nikki says
Can’t even imagine the hole she left in your heart but the memories are still there! 🙂 I think God knew you needed another baby girl she can’t replace Emily but she can bring back the happy memories and what a pretty baby she is. 😉
April says
Oh Amy,
I feel your heart! I too lost a baby girl Kacey Grace and 365 days later at almost the exact time we were blessed with a bouncing baby boy. Now I am 36 weeks and am hoping this is a baby girl. We are wanting to name her Kendall Grace. As mammas, I think there is such a hole there that God fills with Him so our experiences can encourage others the way you have with baby Emily’s precious life:)
Many Hugs to you!
Bonnie says
Praying for you today!
Josi says
Hugs to your whole family today from Washington state. May the Lord bless your time together and may you feel the loving arms of our Father wrapped around you all. Praying for you before I send this.
Doro A says
Thanks for sharing those very precious feelings and thoughts.
Praying for your healing heart – HIS ways of reconciliation are so much deeper and wise as we could ever plan.
ENJOY this precious jewel Aspen 🙂 and continue to breath!
Marion says
Thank You for sharing your family with your readers. Emily and Aspen are two beautiful baby girls. God Bless both and you and the rest of your family.
Marion and Family
Peta says
God bless and continue to comfort you Amy. You are a beautiful mum xo Peta
Stephanei says
We lost our sixth son, David Cooper, 2 1/2 years ago. We knew he was not going to live very long, if he survived the birth at all. We prayed for a few hours and the Lord blessed us with over two hours with him. He was surrounded by friends and family. He passed away in my husband’s arms into the arms of Jesus.
Four months after he passed we were scared and/or excited to become pregnant again with our seventh child. Rachel Elise has been a blessing and while she does not take the place of David, we have begun the process of healing and seeing the good in life again.
Amy Morehead says
Lots of hugs and prayers to you . Thank you for sharing what is on your heart. I have 2 sons here on Earth with me and 3 angel babies due to miscarriages. Praying the Lord will bless us with another child . Thank you for being you 🙂 Blessings ~ amy
Michelle @ moms are Frugal says
I read your story a few years ago when I first started to follow your blog. I think I cried the entire time that I read the post. I have four boys and have wanted a girl for so long (but I love my boys). We have had several miscarriages and I always wonder was one of them a girl. Emily was a beautiful child and I cannot imagine for a moment to understand your grief. But, I am sorry that you went through that but comforted and you leaned on God, I have lost several family members so I am no stranger to losing someone you love. God does walk you through it, and like I tell myself every time I think of what would have been if they were here I pray and ask God to give me more strength and help, He does and I am so grateful.
Aspen is beautiful and I think she will love to hear stories of her big sister.
Natalie says
Thank you for being so open and honest and real. Hugs and prayers for yo and your family
LHall says
Here your devotional gift is going out to 2 more Mommy’s . One Mommy is my sister, Colleen. Thank you again for this gift