I must admit, I haven’t been a whole lot of fun lately. Not that my goal as a mother is to win the Funnest Mom Award because what’s fun to many children is pure foolishness and ought not to be encouraged, but I do know the importance of being more than a lump-on-a-log Mom.
Why play?
Child’s play is never, ever neutral. There is always something to be learned, something to be taught, something to be added to memories. If you don’t engage in play with your child, you are missing these moments.
Playing with your child brings you to their eye level and gives you an in-depth look at their world through their eyes. You will have amazing opportunities to teach your child things you would have missed had you been looking on from a distance. You are able to more effectively teach things like sharing, proper ways to play (as in “don’t hit Mommy with the car”) and even much deeper topics like The Boston Tea Party over a cup of tea with a few dolls in tow.
How to play?
Think on your child’s level. If your daughter is 3 and you give her a 10 minute lecture on The Boston Tea Party, you will find she quickly ignores you and might even decide tea is a horrible game. Speak big to your children, but don’t speak long.
Live in the moment. Sometimes you just need to play. You need to drive those cars down the ramp and make crashing noises. You need to brush the doll’s hair and put it into funny hairstyles. You need to just be with your child, enjoying them.
Pretend like nothing else matters. Moms are multitaskers, so we are notorious for “playing” with our children while we talk on the phone, pay the bills, or menu plan. And even if we aren’t doing these things “out loud”, we are often doing them in our heads while we play. I know moms well enough to know I cannot possible tell you to totally forget your other responsibilities, but at least pretend like nothing else matters. Eventually, you will believe it.
I’ll be honest, I don’t particularly like to play much of anything, but I love my children and I know they love it when I play with them. I give myself time limits and I dive in and play full tilt. I do not think it is my job to entertain my children (that only leads to discontent children who are always bored), but this post isn’t about entertaining your children, it’s about playing with them…playing like them. It’s about enjoying them when they are little and not missing precious time spent just being with them.
So, next time you hear the words, “Play with me, Mommy,” or even better, YOU initiate by stopping what you are doing and getting down on their level and playing like you mean it!
kelly @ In Everything says
Thank you for this!!! I also struggle to let the “work” go to play with my kids more. And it’s not even that I don’t enjoy it, I actually really do like playing with them when I make the time and don’t feel guilty for neglecting all the other things that have to be done.
here’s to MAKing time to play with them today!
Tamara Simmons says
Amy how timely this is!! Just yesterday my 6 year old set up his cars and trucks and asked me to play monster trucks with him. I made myself stop straightening up and told him we had 15 minutes before nap but I would play with him until then. Oh those were the longest 15 minutes of my life!! I love and adore all 4 of my kids but I am so boring and do not enjoy playing with them and their toys. While I was playing I thought of all the benefits of spending time with him on his level, knowing that I’ll have a hard time winning his heart if I’m not interested in some of his interests, but I was thinking “Lord help me to at least act like I enjoyed it”. Needless to say when he and I were done my other 3 children all wanted to set up “playdates” with Mommy as well. Thank you for the encouragement, you didn’t know that this is what I needed at this very time but the Lord did.
Amy says
Good for you! It IS difficult to just play, but you are so right that you are winning his heart and that is worth it!
abba12 says
How often do you set aside time to play and for how long? I hear of some people who do it multiple times through the day, even one who set an alarm and spent 15 minutes of every daytime hour playing with her kids, and others who feel good if they can set aside a good chunk once a week, twice a week tops.
I have no problem engaging with my child, and when we’re out and about I am always talking to her and showing her things, and I’m sure the roles will swap when she is older. I remember taking her shopping as a curious 6 month old and holding up warm and cold food for her to feel, and going for a long leisurly walk is great fun. I’d love to do craft and cooking with her and she’s almost old enough to do more than watch, and I’ll spend little bits of time tickling her or chasing her, or just doing something for two minutes to give her that attention.
But when it comes to sitting down in the playroom and building blocks, or sitting down and playing with toys, I struggle with it. I just can’t do it. I’d rather spend an hour at the park with her, exploring and playing, than I would 10 minutes playing with blocks. I hope as the games get more mature I will manage better, tea parties and playing shop appeals far more, but that dosen’t change the fact that, right now, my daughter still needs me to play with her sometimes. I guess I’m wondering what I should be expecting of myself, I only have mums with kids who can’t amuse themselves to compare myself to, and I don’t want that! My daughter plays alone wonderfully.
Amy says
My every day play with the kids usually comes in short snippets when one of the boys hands me a car or something like that. 😉 As I said in the post, I do not encourage parents to raise children who cannot play by themselves or must always be entertained by their parents. I am much more like you and enjoy outings and natural learning venues to play, but I do try once a week to engage each of the children in something they enjoy. It’s not a planned thing however…much more spontaneous than that. So, I guess you’d say I try to keep an attitude of “play” in my heart and head so I am ready for the moments when they come. 🙂
Francine says
Being fully engaged when playing with toddlers is so challlenging which is why I could never be a day care provider! Bravo to them!
My kids are a bit older, so, looking back, I realize the importance of listening to them when they are litle so they listen to us when they are big!