Six Ways To Instill An Appreciation For Simplicity In Children – Guest Post

Today’s guest post is from Jami at An Oregon Cottage.  Her blog is a breath of fresh air in this fast-paced world.   Her desire to inspire others to create the simple life no matter where they live is music to my soul!  In this post, she speaks to fostering the love of simplicity in your children.

A major focus of my blog, An Oregon Cottage, is to live simply. I call it a “cottage mentality” which encompasses not only living simply, but also valuing people over things, loving imperfection and making do or doing without.

While our great-grandmothers probably lived this way without even thinking about it, we know in our current culture that we have to consciously work towards simplicity and away from the pursuit of things. And we have to help our kids navigate these cultural waters, too.

As my kids were growing up our family did have to live simply out of necessity but I was determined to help them appreciate simplicity as well, and not just put up with it. I had heard too many stories from my friends that went something like this:

“I never got/ate/could do _____________ when I was growing up, so now I buy/eat/do it whenever I want!€”

The blank above was filled with various things like designer clothes, sports equipment, vacations, junk food, fast food, watching TV for hours and all the other similar things. The most interesting thing was, usually these friends were not happy- in fact, they were telling me this as an excuse for what they knew was bad behavior!

So I really thought about how I could help our kids appreciate simpler things without wanting to go overboard the other way when they were adults. Beyond the obvious (limit TV, computers, and material things) here are six ways my husband and I used to help them view simplicity in a favorable light:

1. MODEL a love of simplicity yourself! I can’t emphasize this enough. If the adults in the family are bemoaning the fact that they can’t afford things, the children will be the same way. Even if it’s just spending a lot of time looking at things (via magazines, Internet, or even just the neighbors), that’s also sending a message. Start to be very aware of what your kids may be seeing through you.
2. Make dinnertime a priority. Make it a goal to eat around the table every night, even saying “no” to some activities that would routinely interrupt the dinner hour. This includes ALL the family, by the way. Numerous studies show why this is important to family health, but it also instills an appreciation for conversation and making eye-contact with people over a table (simple things that I’m sorry to see are being lost on the current “texting” generation…). My 14-year old says she doesn’t have one friend who eats at a table with their family most nights. Sad.
3. Limit outside activities (sports, music, etc.) to one or two at a time. I thought this would be much easier than it was- but when I wanted them to take piano, and they wanted soccer, we were already up to two. Youth activites at church added a third. Uh-oh. We had to talk as a family and decide. Occasionally they had these three activities but most of the time we really did stick to the one or two rule.
4. Emphasize the WHY of our choices. I always make sure to explain to our kids how smart it is to buy four items of clothing at the Thrift Store instead of one at a department store. Or what things we are able to afford because we’re not paying for cable every month or eating out a lot. As my children got older, I’d ask, “Do you think it’s smart or dumb to spend money on something that you won’t remember in a few months?” This led to discussions about what we WOULD want to spend on and the importance of things that last.
5. Limit foods. Keep treats special by making them unusual. Even good food should be eaten in moderation- no one (not even teenage boys!) needs 5 glasses of milk a day. You’re not a bad parent if you limit milk to 2 glasses and have them drink water the rest of the day. Water is good. And don’t forget to sing the praises of a vine ripened tomato or the first corn of the season just like you do the chocolate cake (there’s that modeling thing again…)
6. Don’t be afraid of “down-time” and even schedule time to do nothing if you have to! But what about the dreaded, “I’m bored” whine? As much as our generation doesn’t want to face it, it is not our job to keep our kids entertained and it can actually make them dependent on others for their happiness in their future. Let them find their own things to do- they might surprise you with their creativity! By the way, my standard responses were, “Well, I’ve got dishes you can unload, floors to be vacuumed, and a room that should be cleaned…” which quieted them in a hurry, or if I was feeling helpful, “This is your time to be creative and use (list all the gifts they’ve been given).”

My kids are now 18 and 14 and they surprise me every day with their smart choices regarding spending habits and food. They think what their friends want is often silly. Now they are teens and are still navigating their way through, but the foundation we helped them set encourages me as they move toward adulthood that they won’t just become another mindless consumer.

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Jami is a wife, mother of two teenagers, and a preschool teacher who blogs at An Oregon Cottage. She loves everything about a cottage, but especially what she calls “the cottage mentality.” This mentality puts people above things, celebrates imperfections, embraces simplicity, and finds joy in everyday life.