Thanksgiving Dinner can be a nail-biting event for mothers of small children. Will the kids behave? Will they eat all their food? Will they tell all your secrets? Will you have to leave early due to any of the above?
Since I’ve eaten my fair share of Thanksgiving Dinners (4 the first year I was married!) and since I have children, none of which I have eaten, I will now pretend to be an expert on the matter of bringing children and holiday dinners into blissful harmony.
1. Give your kids “the lecture.” You know the one:
Today we are going to Auntie Susie’s house and if any of you act like baboons, you’ll get 10 spankings and no food.
OK, maybe not THAT lecture, but one that goes along the lines of:
Today we are going to Auntie Susie’s house. I expect you to behave like respectable young ladies and gentlemen. You are representing our family and the family of God. Because of this, please consider all you say and do while there.
Keep it short and sweet and to the point, lest their eyes glass over.
2. Lay out expectations. It isn’t always enough to just give “the lecture.” Quite often you need to fully flesh out what is expected of them while you are visiting. Let them know what rooms are off limits. Let them know where they can go to play. Let them know what you consider to be proper and improper behavior. Don’t expect them to read your mind.
3. Let them nibble prior to dinner. It’s okay.
4. Make a dish you know your children like. That way you know there is at least one thing they will like, avoiding the totally embarrassing scene in which your child blurts out, “Why are you making me eat all this yucky food?” Also, refer back to #2.
5. Be prepared to discipline. Have in mind what you will do when a situation arises…because it will…despite “the lecture.”
6. Include activities that will be enjoyed by your children. Do not expect your children to amuse themselves while you spend the afternoon chit-chatting and napping. Unless, of course, you don’t mind them sliding down the banisters and drawing pictures in the pumpkin pie with their fingers. I am so thankful for my aunt Kathy who is fabulous at remembering the little ones. One year it was a butterfly game that kept my kids (and her granddaughter) busy for hours!
7. Don’t tell everyone how naughty your kids are or try to excuse (and do nothing about) their behavior as linked to them being tired. Sorry, these are two of my pet peeves. First off, what you believe about your children will often come to fruition. If you tell everyone they are naughty you might as well forget having well-behaved children. Even if they didn’t hear you (which isn’t likely considering little ears somehow manage to hear everything they aren’t supposed to hear), your attitude alone will mark them in other’s minds as well as your own. I know you think you are just warning people of the potential for your child to act less than perfect during the day, but you would do better to tell them how well behaved your child is and then act surprised when they do something childish. Just sayin’.
And secondly, if your child is tired, find a way to get them a nap rather than blame all their misbehavior on sleepiness. Yes, children do misbehave when tired. Yes, you have the right to inform everyone that little Timmy didn’t get his nap today. But to simply say Timmy is tired and then do nothing about either the misbehavior or the tiredness is just cruel. However, I do have a theory that goes along with this…perhaps Timmy isn’t really tired. Perhaps Timmy is just misbehaving. 😉
sara says
Good advice, hope all your dinners go well xx
Clara says
LOL!! #1 is great!! 🙂
This is a good list! 🙂
Jenn says
lol! Still chuckling about #1. Great post!
Erin says
Great tips, Amy! I love your points 😉
Charity says
I love it!! We always have Thanksgiving lunch with my husband’s side of our family. Between his two sisters and brother, there are 5 children… all being ages 10-14. Then, there are our 7 children being ages 1-16. They are all well past the little one stage, so we are always having to run around making sure the little ones are messing with things they shouldn’t be. It makes for a LONG, TIRING afternoon.
Lisa~ says
I love this! Yes, you are so right. Another thing we do is practice. We’ll sort of play a game and pretend to give them food they don’t like and they have to practice how to respond. They like it and it lets them know what is expected.
I am SO with you on the excuse of tired kids. Of course ids get cranky when they’re tired. But ignoring it isn’t the answer for goodness sakes! (You’ve got me all worked up now, LOL!) Lisa~
Amy says
LOL, Lisa! And sounds like you have a great game there!
Leah says
Lisa that is a wonderful idea! Practicing senarios to help them learn how to respond kindly. Love it!
Leah says
Wonderful post Amy! Thank you especially for the reminder to not expect perfect behavior from kids who are over-tired, and/or jacked up on sugar. It’s so easy to forget when their childish behavior is “embarassing” us.
Leah says
I know you intended for it to be a tip on not blaming everything on these things, but sometimes it IS the reason for some crazy antics. I have seen so many kids get dragged through walmart late at night getting punished for bad behavior. Makes me sad.
Mama Mirage says
I hadn’t even thought to worry about my kids’ behaviour at Thanksgiving dinner this year. The baby is happy as long as someone’s holding her… and there will be plenty of people just waiting to get a turn. The 2 year old doesn’t like food but loves people so as long as he’s had his nap, he’s happy wherever there are people. The 4 year old loves food, people, food… did I mention she loves food? She almost never acts up on social occasions. I actually love taking my kids out to eat because they are so good and we always get compliments. The only time it isn’t good is when the boy is tired. You’ve reminded me I need to start planning how to make sure he gets his nap so there are no tired 2 year old temper tantrums.
jennifer says
I know this isn’t quite with what you’re getting at, but I always liked moms/families who ‘keep it simple’ and eat like chinese for thanksgiving! Mom isn’t stressed and it’s just funny.
Suanna says
When one of our children start misbehaving or goofing around too much we have them sit with or near us quietly and be still for a while. While naps don’t always happen they still need just a little bit of down time. Then when they are allowed to play again they think twice about acting up.
Faithann says
Very good advice. I liked number 7. Great blog!
Megan says
This post was so helpful! Thank you for sharing all of this advice.