Garin as a newborn.
I didn’t talk about it much. I couldn’t find the right words. Words to explain how blessed I felt, but also how utterly exhausted and frustrated I felt as well.
It took time…lots of time.
Garin, my 7th born child, was colicky. Painfully, ear-piercingly colicky. From his first full night outside the womb until he reached 4 months of age, he cried…a lot.
Couple this with the fact that for the first time ever I experienced postpartum depression, and you have a recipe for long, exhausting days and even longer emotionally-draining nights.
Many people would say,
“Is he always like this?”
And I would nod my head and choke back tears.
I felt absolutely helpless.
My oldest son was able to rock him to sleep from time to time. Oh, how I depended on Blake’s rocking ability!
I snapped pictures whenever I could catch Garin between crying jags. I didn’t want his photo album to be full of screaming baby pictures. I didn’t want colic to be the only memories I had of his early days.
I gave him Gripe Water
But the one thing that kept me going was
hope.
Hope offered by another mother. One who had been there. One who didn’t gloss over the desperation I felt. One who told me…
4 months.
Four months and her son was a different child. An amazingly happy, wonderfully smiley little boy.
I clung to her words…with every ounce of my being. I wondered if I could survive until then, but every day was one step closer. I prayed,
“Lord, give me the strength for one more day.”
As that 4 month mark approached, the crying became less, the smiles more. I began to see my little guy’s gorgeous eyes and crazy-cute dimple more and more.
We slept.
And now, at 6½ months, I barely remember those days.
This isn’t a post about what to do when your child is colicky. This is a post about hope. The hope of time and encouragement and other mamas who have been there who are willing to share their stories.
What a blessing!
Lauri B says
I have been so fortunate not to have the struggle of a colicky baby! God has amazingly spared me of that, but my role over the years with friends who have had colicky babies has been the rocker!! I have treasured that role!! I’m glad you had a wonderful woman who was there for you and offered hope!
abba12 says
I would not describe my newborn as colicky, I think that goes too far, but she decided burping was silly and refused to do it. No matter how much her father and I, her grandparents and great grandparents, or even the nurses, tried, she would not burp. So for the first two months all the air she took in (and she took in a LOT because she can’t latch properly and is now bottlefed because of it) had to go through her system and out the other end. She didn’t like it very much. Add that onto the fact she had night and day mixed up, and would wake at midnight and not go down again until 5am EVERY NIGHT, and I can probably understand a little of what you went through.
But as of 6 weeks ago she figured out when daytime was, 1 month ago she began burping consistently (though a lot still passes through) and 2 weeks ago she almost gave me a heart attack by sleeping 9 hours through the night (I woke at 7am and paniced) and has done so every night since. I know at the time when she spent hours screaming I was completely drained, but now? I barely remember it, and I’d do it again with the knowlege now that it WILL end eventually (much the same as my feelings on the 9 months of morning sickness, I even feel vaguely hopeful that it won’t last the whole pregnancy this time, ha!)
I’ve learnt through this that everything will end eventually and it is worth it. I’ve never seen a 2 year old who screams because his belly is full of air, and I’ve never met a 1 year old that still sleeps all day (though, they may still continue the wakes all night thing!)
I’m glad this season has passed for your son 🙂
Jenn says
I think this is an important post…because when you’re the mama of a colicky baby and it is the middle of the night, and the baby won’t stop crying, and you haven’t slept in days and you’re more exhausted than you ever thought possible, *hope* is your lifeline. Thank you.
Amy Mac says
No doubt the colic contributed to the PPD. My fifth was my only colic and hope got me through. I did not understand colic until I had my own. And my husband was traveling alot at that point. I had wonderful neighbors, the man, a big, burly police detective, across the street was about the only person who could bounce my son to sleep (which frustrated his wife, when she tried and failed). My neighbors would see me outside (he did a little better outside) and would come talk to me or take a turn holding my son–even at ten o’clock at night. I know they watched out their windows to help me. Definitely Heaven sent neighbors.
Lisa Maria says
Thank God for fading memories.. I can barely remember what I went through with my own daughter. She was my first and colicky and I also had problems breastfeeding, had just gone through a c-section so I felt like a complete failure in all things maternal. I went on to have three more.. God gives grace and hope is definitely the only thing you can hold onto sometimes!
Rachel~At The Butterfly Ball says
My second baby was colicky. I had never even seen another baby that was colicky before! I thought one of us must surely be broken! Couple that with serious postpartum depression and I wasn’t sure how I would make it through until he grew out of it! His colic lasted until he was nearly 12 months old. At that time he (nearly overnight) transformed into the sweetest happiest toddler I have ever had the privileged of knowing. He began talking very very early, by one year he knew quite a few words, and was also walking early (by 10 months he was steady on his feet walking all over) it was right about then that his crying jags began to lessen. Once he was able to communicate a bit and get where he wanted under his own steam… During that first year his Daddy and I tried everything. Not much helped. He was held almost constantly. I “wore” him, then my husband took him for a few hours when he wasn’t nursing, my mom would hold him for a couple of hours off and on through out the day. I caught a few hours of sleep in 20 or 30 minute snatches when I could. We never did figure out some “magic” cure… but we knew something hurt and was making him cry, so we made sure he never felt alone or just abandoned in his crib to cry it out. It was a hard year… but they do grow out of it eventually! Thank the Lord!
Lauree says
One of my closest friends’ first baby was colicky. They never slept. They drove around the neighborhood in the middle of the night. Pushed her around the house in a stroller because that seemed to help. I spent the night with them to try and let the get some sleep. I don’t know when she finally outgrew it but she did and they were able to finally sleep again. It was not a fun time. But they survived. 🙂
Jenn says
Thanks. I needed that reminder this morning. My sweet 4.5month old boy(child #4) doesn’t have colic but he does have GERD and horrible eczema. I haven’t slept more than 1.5hrs at a time since he was born. He is painfully uncomfortable most of the time. I have spent endless hours online searching for how to bring more relief to my precious boy. I can tell that underneath his suffering is an incredibly sweet laid-back personality and I long for him to be able to enjoy that. God has graciously granted us some answers -no dairy for me eases the pain of his GERD, various creams and washes for the eczema seem to lessen it some. But mostly we wait -and as you reminded -we wait with hope. Hope that God will heal Noah’s ailments in His perfect timing and that He will sustain us until that time.
Amanda Sikes @ Our Heart and Home says
My fourth born had these issues and the Chiropractor helped her beyond words. Her GERD was amazingly better after just a couple treatments. We had never used a chiro before and I was a little scared. But seeing my baby comfy was so worth it!
Jessica says
I was also given the gift of hope once. When I decided to breastfeed my first baby my cousin told me it’s hard at first and if I just get through the first two weeks I would make it. Well, I had no idea when I was pregnant how I would cling to those words at 2 in the morning with a screaming newborn, cracked and bleeding nipples, and painfully engorged breasts. If she had not uttered those words to me I would have given up nursing him and probably not nursed two more babies since him.
Grateful for Grace says
I’ve been watching a new mother at our church go through this and have been at a loss for words.
Do you think the postpartum depression could have been prompted by this? That’s pretty frustrating to have happen from birth (the crying). My sweet friend was over two nights and I was already feeling frazzled.
I’m so glad you had someone speak hope to you.
Amy says
Yes, I do believe the colic contributed as well as some other things that were happening at that time. On top of that, we found out we would be moving. Lots of factors.
If you can, hold the baby for her and tell her she is free to go outside, leave for a while, whatever (it’s better if she is nowhere near there where she will feel compelled to take the baby from you). Tell her you are fine with the baby crying and you will hold him and care for him. Give her 30 mins of quiet. If you think she would go for this and you could handle it as well, I think it would be a welcome reprieve. I was most afraid of bothering others when in public…it helped so much when a friend of mine held him despite the crying and I knew she truly did not care. 🙂
Kacie says
Oh Amy! Big hugs to you. Your Blake is such a blessing in so many ways!
The newborn period has been hard for me for both kids (more so for my firstborn, who couldn’t be put down), and they didn’t even have colic.
I am so glad that things have taken a turn for the better and that these hard days are now a distant memory!
Andrea says
Ah yes..our second was like this, but it lasted four months…our 5th was like this, and at 22 months, he proves to be our most difficult child. It’s just who he is. God is giving me strength, and changing Henry as he grows. He can communicate very well now, which helps him to express himself better. I now know why he was so challenging as a baby when the colicky time didn’t wear off!
God is faithful, and He sustains me, and I now find tremendous joy in our little high needs boy!
God knew how much I was able to handle, so he gave us a tremendously laid back 6th child..now I am continually praying that our 7th child is indeed as content! However, I know that no matter what experience God gives us with this next one, He will supply all we need to care for him or her!
God Bless!
Mama Mirage says
I know the difficulty of a colicky baby and my heart goes out to other moms going through this! My firstborn had colic, severe tongue tie, nipple confusion, and refused to burp. She began to scream at 1 week old and then screamed for the first 5 months of her life. I got maybe 2 hours sleep in broken snatches each 24 hours during the week. On Saturday my husband would take the baby and drive around with her or pace the living room with her while I slept. All day Saturday every Saturday just so I could survive another week of not sleeping. She cried unless she was being carried. She never slept unless she was in someone’s arms being walked around. Nursing was torture. I tried bottle feeding but it didn’t help the colic, made it worse eventually, and gave her nipple confusion. So I had to deal with that in addition to the pain of nursing a tongue tied baby. She wasnted to eat constantly. half an hour of every 45 minutes she was nursing. All day and all night. And when I was pacing and praying I was nursing and gritting my teeth and screaming into a pillow in pain while I dug my fingernails into the arm of the couch and just cried and cried in a combination of stubbornness and defeat. I knew she needed breastmilk and that she was growing well on it from so much nursing and I wouldn’t take that away from her when bottles made her colic worse and my own pain wasn’t enough to make me stop benefitting my baby. I lost control of my home. I never cooked anymore. All I could do was survive each day, each night, pacing around, swaying with exhaustion, and crying out to God for strength. I developed PPD around 3 months postpartum, ironically this was around the time her frenula stretched enough from breastfeeding that I was not bleeding and/or bruised and crying from her poor latch and super suction every time I nursed her, for the first time in her life. I was still awake all but 2 hours of the day, and nursing her or pacing were still the only times she was not screaming. Around 5 months the miraculous transformation came. Suddenly she was the happiest sweetest baby I had ever seen, all smiles and joy. It was like she became a totally different child! I think it took me until she was 10 months old to recover from the 5 months of sheer exhaustion we went through. I was so happy when she stopped crying and began to sleep longer than 20 minutes at a time though! It’s amazing what going from getting 20 minutes of sleep at a time on the high end to getting 2 hours at once on average can do for one’s outlook on life! Lol!
Celee says
My second child, first daughter, was colicky. It lasted way longer than 4 months. In her 1 year picture, you can tell we snapped it between sobs and there’s even a tear in her eye. It was hard. I remember putting her in her crib, closing the door of her room, walking down the hallway and going into my room, closing my bedroom door, then going into the bathroom, closing that door and running the bathtub. That seemed the only way to drown out her tears. At 10, she’s an incredible girl. Talented, focused, driven, hard working, helpful, mature. She still feels things strongly, though. But what a blessing she is to all of us!
I’m so glad I didn’t stop with her. Now I can look back like you and say it was all worth it and I can hardly remember the difficult time.
Garin is adorable!
Celee
Susan says
I remember putting my daughter in her crib, shutting the door, sitting on the couch and watching the clock go by. 7 mintues was all I could stand before getting her. I also remember watching the clock waiting for my husband to get home, calling him names in my head because he was 3 minutes late (ha ha) and meeting him at the door with her held out for him to take her. Wish I’d know about the chiropractor help, I’d sure tried it. I tried everything. Just commenting all this to let other momma’s know that their not alone.
Amy says
It’s so different once time has come between you and those long days!
Suanna says
My third child cried almost all the time except when eating, being held just right, or sleeping for the short naps she would take. I mentioned it to my mid-wife at my postpartum check up and she said my baby was probably colicky. She also mentioned that sometimes chiropractic care can help colic. I have good chiropractor that I go to and he also is trained to treat children so we made an appointment for her. She improved so much, and I don’t really believe that she was colicky, she had a couple of vertebrate that were misaligned, probably from her birth and they were causing her pain. We just couldn’t tell that it was something like that because she had been crying since just after she was born. It made such a difference. She used to cry while she was riding in her car seat (the whole time, no matter how long the trip was) and after her back was realigned she would begin to cry when we first put her in the car seat, but stop fairly quickly. It didn’t hurt her to sit like that anymore. Her sleep also improved drastically and though she still preferred to sleep on her tummy she would usually only wake up to eat at night.
Caroline-@The Modest Mom says
That sounds exactly like my oldest child! He screamed for four months, and since it was my oldest I was exhausted and overwhelmed. But I kept going, and now he is seven. He does still scream at times, but it is a different type of scream now. 😉 lol
Susan says
I had the worst crying baby EVER. Seriously, isn’t that what all momma’s of colicy babies think? I sure did. Mine screamed nonstop, not just at night. The only way to make her stop was by running the vacuum cleaner. My siser even told me, “Just plug it in, I’ll buy you a new one if it burns up!” I ran that thing constantly. I tried gripe water, breast milk, 4 different formulas and ended up on Nutramigen which costs a fortune! She hated the carseat so driving around for peace and quiet was OUT! You know what helped??? The kid grew out of it..just like you said. She got older. I just “held on for dear life” as someone once said and made it through.
Erin says
Oh, yes! My 2nd little one was colicky and it was just how you described. The 4-month mark was magical for him, too. I’m glad you’re doing OK! I definitely could have used someone who had BTDT come along and give me that hope at the time I was going through it – I didn’t know when (or if!) it would ever end.
Joesette says
Oh how I wish someone would have given me hope during the first 4 months of my daughter’s life! Somewhere around 2 months I looked at my husband and said “I can’t do this the rest of my life!” I thought I’d lose my mind!
But then suddenly it started to ease…the crying became less frequent and before long she became a wonderful, peaceful little person.
Great article of encouragement!
Anita says
Amy I’m so sorry you struggled through this… but glad it’s better now and I do appreciate the post… I’ve never had this and I’m grateful for your advice on how to help that Mum.
Stacey says
Hello,
I’m a Famiy Home Daycare Provider. My husband and I don’t have kids of our own YET, but we’ve been on this adoption journey for about 3 1/2 years now (it’s gotta happen soon, right?!?). Anyway, I checked out a book called Ants in the Pants: Teaching Children Who Must Move to Learn by Aerial Cross. She said her daughter was colicky and a friend of hers told her to ‘wrap (baby) in a light blanket, put her in her infant carrying seat, and set it on top of the dryer. Put a shoe inside the dryer and tur it on air dry.’ The vibrating dryer and loud thudding of the shoe calmed (baby).” I thought this was a clever idea and wanted to pass it along.
Here are our adoption websites, if you want to help us get the word out:
The Adoption Foundation: http://www.theadoptionfoundation.com/adoption-unplanned-pregnancy-waiting-families-profile.html?id=7150
Our AdoptionNetwork.com Webpage now features a video slide show of us right below our birthmother letter. http://www.adoptionnetwork.com/waitingfamilies/show.html/6934
This video is also posted on Youtube, so if you want to help us get the word out, you can use this link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4JRs7LuvCAQ along with the other links I’ve posted here (except our email, please).
http://www.courageouschoice.com/album.php?id=6534
http://www.adoptionspacebook.com/view_photos.html?id=7150
Mama K says
so…what do you do about a defiant 2 year old? i mean hitting, head butting and straight up disobeying and saying “no!”?
Serenity says
Thank you for sharing this. My niece, Alaysa, was colicky and it was hard knowing how to help her exhausted parents. You offered some great suggestions that I will remember! Thanks 🙂
E. says
Dear Serenity,
This is years later, but the best help you could give an exhausted mother (and I’m speaking from experience!) is:
Offer to come on over for an hour or two.
Then arm yourself with a water bottle, a Moby wrap (simple to make) and comfy shoes.
Hand the momma a package of earplugs and foaming bath salts, and bundle that baby up for some serious soothing & rocking. (Think of it as a great workout for you! Lunges and half-squates work great for some babies. But even the jiggling and rocking will boost your metabolism.)
Let the momma sleep, or have *two* hands free to do something for once.
If you live nearby, she may appreciate an hour a couple times a week that she can have the freedom to rest, or tackle that little thing in the house that she needs to reclaim sanity.
Bring cheery words about humorous incidents, and upbeat updates from the “life Outside”… It is so refreshing to remember things to laugh over! And have a good chat without added stress.
May all colicky-baby mothers be blessed today with an extra dose of grace, and the knowledge of Christ’s *compassionate* care as our Loving Shepherd.
…Oh, and buy her an MP3 player and fill it with good things!
Two books that have been a huge encouragemnt to me are, A Shepherd Looks at Psalm 23, from ChristianAudio; and Quiet Talks on Prayer, by S.D.Gordon from Librivox.org (free!).
(Nothing to emotional, exacting, or fluffy; just simple, sincere and encouraging Truth.)
With love,
Em
Amber says
Oh, I feel ya! I have 3… my first, a by the book, laid back baby… then my 2nd…. pulled the rug out from under me. He would cry and fuss ALL THE TIME. Didn’t take good naps, Didn’t sleep well at night (still woke up around 7 times a night at 10 mos old!) and didn’t let me put him down until he was about 13 mos old… he stayed incredibly clingy until about 22 mos old. Now he’s a wonderful 3 yo, as sweet as can be, and he still loves to be in our laps! I thought I DESERVED a nice baby with #3… nope… she was everything her brother was but worse! She would cry even when I held her! She’s 13 mos now… and while she has a happier disposition, and is not clingy like her brother, I have NEVER seen such a go-getter! She’s all over the place… the table, the couches, climbing up dresser drawers, tearing things, throwing things, pulling things down… ANYTHING that’s within her reach! But she is just as dear as she is ornery! And, let me tell you, she changed my life for the good! I don’t know what it was, but she changed me! I really, really hope this next one is a nice baby, for my sake and my other 3 children, but I know I can get through it if not! I find relief in knowing other moms who have dealt with this! Here’s my book 😉
Stephanie says
I just want to thank you so much for writing this! My sister in law sent me a link to it a week ago when I was going through a rough week with my daughter. She has been labeled ‘extremely colicky” and she has reflux as well. We have tried gas drops, zantec, and are now on prilosec. We even went to have her adjusted at a Chiropractor (which helped by the way). I sat there crying and reading your post and I can’t tell you how many times I have been in that same place where I just pray that I have the strength to get through another day.
My sister in law sent me your link on the 15th. It is now the 23rd and my daughter will be 4 months tomorrow. 6 days after I read this we had a breakthough. One day she just stared talking to herself in her own little language! She is now having maybe one or two fits a day where she is screaming, but the rest of the day she is so happy.
I cannot thank you enough for writing this blog entry. It got me through that last rough week, and hopefully we will continue to get better and better every single day. You have inspired me to write an entry on my website about Colic and I will make sure and refer my readers to your entry as well. Thanks again so much!
Amy says
Praise the Lord, Stephanie! It took me a long time to be able to write about it, so I am thrilled you feel far enough to be able to do that! It needs to be said 🙂
Lora says
I’m crying as I read these comments. I’d like to go to bed, but the colicky baby on my chest is only dosing…if I put him down, he”ll scream again.
I read this post when you posted it, and felt utter sympathy for you, but I did not understand. Now, with a 6 week old who has screamed constantly since his second night (the hospital nurse begged us to give our breast-fed baby “just a little sugar water, it calms them right down”), I recalled your post and went in search of it. I will try to hold onto the hope. It must get better!
Amy says
Oh, Lora! My heart goes out to you. It is so utterly exhausting. {HUGS} You’re doing fine, mama. 🙂
Tasha says
Awesome post! It actually puts tears in my eyes. Our daughter was also colic, and she was our first, so we really didn’t have any idea of what to expect. Those first 4 months were so hard, they tested us physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Knowing that there was a light at the end of the tunnel was the only thing that got us through. Your post will help so many, as I can see it already has. Thank you.
KM Logan says
I so understand. My daughter was born with hip dysplasia that went diagnosed for 5 months. NOTHING soothed her crying, we were blessed to find out what caused it, but by then she had learned to cry, a lot. At nearly 6 months old she had to adjust to a brace, the she had to adjust to not being in a brace a few months later. Not fun times. She was our first born, when I had our 2nd and third I finally realized how excessive her crying really was. At the time, I was a new mom and thought it was normal.
E. says
Thank you!!!!!
My baby is twelve weeks… Only a month and a half to go.
Thank the Lord.
I praise Him for this marvelous gift, our first; and smiles and peaceful moments are more frequent; but I needed this encouragement!
Nicole says
I know this is an old post Amy but I am clinging onto your words right now. Thanks for this post. I have it saved on my home screen to read at night when I feel like crying
Amy says
Oh Nicole! I’m so sorry! I remember when my friend told me 4 months and I thought I’d never make it. But we did. ((HUGS))
Drea says
I came across this, as I looked for help. As a Christian mama, it was nice to read this. My babygirl is alittle over 5weeks old. Thank you for your encouraging post! I will continue to hold on to Gods hand (hope) through this season that is breaking my heart. God bless
Amy says
And the little guy in this post is now 9 years old and one of the happiest children I have ever met! There is hope indeed!