If you have spent any amount of time here on Raising Arrows, you’ve noticed the little girl in the sidebar and the section at the top labeled The Grieving Mother.
That is Emily and she is part of my story.
This is the path God put our family on. I would never have asked for this, but I realize now, His plans are greater and wiser than mine and it is my responsibility to be His hands and feet to others who are grieving.
Over the years, I have had many people tell me that losing a child is their worst nightmare and they just cannot imagine living through such horror. My answer to them is not to live in a world of fear.
Even though my mind occasionally wanders into the darkness of the fear of losing another, I know I don’t belong there.
That is why I am sharing at The Better Mom today on the topic of not letting yourself fear something that may or may not be your reality, but to live each day as a worship offering to the Lord…no matter what path you are on. Join me there.
Renee says
We loss a few baby because of miscarriage and yes it’s heard to loose a child. But I remember 2 cor 1: 3-4 and trust that God will comfort us so we may comfort other because we first has comforted us.
Crystal @ Serving Joyfully says
I recently stumbled across your daughter’s story on a visit to your blog. I can’t imagine what you’ve been through, but you’re so right that fear robs the joy of today…thanks for sharing!
Kimberly Carroll says
We lost our 4 month old the end of August 2011. He was our 4th child. Our first has Autism and has always flirted with death. He’s a very curious little boy. We came to the conclusion early on that we couldn’t protect him from everything and we’d do our best, but ultimately he belonged to God. I have to say it was so much harder handing over our sweet precious innocent 4 month old. But I’d like to think with God’s strength, we did it in a way that made Him proud. Two months after his passing we were blessed with another baby boy, he’ll be here in three weeks! We’ve never questioned Gods ways, and just look forward to the day I see my baby boy again! You are so right about being a better person after losing him. I think that’s a gift given by God to His lovers, I know nonbelievers who have lost children and they are left embittered. It is good hearing testimonies of others that have lost children all while building a stronger faith in a God that really does love us despite what this world tries to tell us! May God continue to bless you and your family in ways you can’t even describe with earthly words!
This is a link to the memorial service done by my husband. It’s a little long but I believe it can help anyone going through the death of a friend or family member. Life changing!
http://jasonthebaldguy.com/2011/09/godspeed-declan-jace/
Amy says
Kimberly, my husband also did Emmy’s service. It was beautiful…absolutely beautiful. {hugs} And we were blessed with a little boy in exactly the same time frame as you. God is so merciful!
Amy says
Thank you for this post. I just learned today that we’ve lost our fourth. I was 11 weeks along. The pain of telling my three other children is almost more than I can bear. I struggle with why God would allow this, AGAIN. Eventually, I will be able to say God’s timing and planning is best, but right now I have to deal with the loss of another dream. Please keep writing your posts. Know that God is using you mightily to bless.
Amy says
{Amy} This winter I lost 2 babies in a row. I understand the pain and fear and even anger.
Amy says
Your words mean even more to me, then, for the trials you have been through. The fact that you can write with such grace humbles me. I lost 3 in a row about 10 years ago, before we had our second son and our daughter. I was in a very dark place then. I want to handle it better this time.
AB says
Thank you so much for sharing Emmy’s story, and your own experiences. I admire your courage, to not only survive such heartache with grace, but to reach out to others as well.
My son was a very early prem. His first 4 months in the hospital were very difficult and, even though God blessed us with a miracle – miracle after miracle! – and he survived that difficult time, the shadow of middle of the night phone calls to say goodbye still lingers. Countless trips to the emergency room for problems ranging from neurolgical, to cardiac, to metabolic, to allergic reactions, have caused us to grow accustomed to crisis.
He’s seven now, and has far exceeded the doctors predictions for his life. He is bright, creative, and inquisitive. Still, when managing his complex health care, it is difficult to maintain perspective. Does my fear of losing my precious boy cloud my judgement?
Thank you for addressing this matter, which cuts deep, and close to the heart. I am sure many of us wrestle with this as mothers, and it helps to talk honestly about our feelings, and ultimately remember that our God is gracious and compassionate. His grace is sufficient… even for an uncertain future.
Elizabeth says
I’m so sorry about your loss. I find your page and posts about this subject very comforting. Although my story is a little bit different, I did lose a child by a 17 week miscarriage. There is not one day that I don’t think about our son John. Thanks for sharing your story and encouragement and thoughts. God Bless.
Susan says
Amy, I remember reading this post a few months ago, but I’m not sure why I didn’t comment on it then. I was prompted to comment now, that’s for sure. I first want to say I’m so sorry for your loss. The Lord has used you to minister to me AGAIN through your blog. Since 2009 I have been living this nightmare of fear of losing my child. I’m not sure how or why, but it crept up suddenly and instead of living, I keep picturing “the end.” My decisions are based on anxieties and fears and I know I’m not enjoying my precious gift from the Lord as he intended. Your post describes everything I think. I know the Lord is speaking to me through you, and I pray that this would be a stepping-stone for me. God bless you and your family. Thank you for this post.