Does your home feel chaotic and stressful? Are you looking for a way to make your home a peaceful haven for your entire family? I’ve written an ebook/workbook that will walk you step-by-step through the process of bring peace and beauty to your home. LEARN MORE HERE!
Yesterday we talked about how we need to learn how to feel blessed before we can truly enjoy the blessings of the Lord. Today, let’s move on to what a blessed and peaceful home feels like.
But first, a story…
Once upon a time, my husband never wanted to be home. He wanted to be with us, but he didn’t want to be at home with us. He would come home from work and pack us all up and run us around all over the place. I never gave it much thought because I just assumed this was the way he was, extrovert that he is. However, at some point I made the connection that it wasn’t that he really wanted to be gone from home, but that home was not a peaceful place for him.
Home was not a haven.
For us, it was the mess and clutter that kept our home from being a haven. But the clutter wasn’t just isolated to the house. Mommy’s brain was cluttered too. And because I was constantly at odds with my home and my attitude (see Day 1 of this series), I had no time to create a warm and inviting atmosphere for my husband to come home to. Therefore, he wanted to escape.
And frankly, so did I. How much easier it was to close the door and pretend my overwhelming to-do list didn’t exist.
But, I knew this wasn’t any way to live. I wanted more. I wanted the abundant life God promises! So, I began to search.
I searched the Scriptures. I looked to the Titus 2 woman and the Proverbs 31 woman, to theDeuteronomy 6 parent and the Ephesians disciple. I listened to sermons revolving around these posts and read books that gave examples and practical tips.
And then I searched the lives of other Christian women. Women who’s homes felt like a haven to me.
Some felt like havens because they were decorated beautifully. Others were havens because the lady of the home radiated peace and joy. They were homes that were servant-minded and felt comfortable and loving.
So, I took the Scriptural principles I was reading about and the practical ideas I was observing and I began to add these touches to my own home.
The result?
My family now sees our home as a haven. My husband rarely wants to leave, and tells me he feels so comfortable at home with all of us.
That has been one of the biggest compliments of my life as a homemaker because it means I truly “made a home.”
Even though no two homes are alike and what I needed to make my home a haven may not be what you need to create a peaceful haven in your home, I want to give you a smattering of ideas I implemented that brought our home to a place of retreat and safety for the entire family.
*Creating of a routine that worked. We had tried plenty of routines that didn’t work before I realized I was trying too hard. Take what you naturally have and build on it to create the perfect routine for your family!
*Decluttering – my house and my mind. I began to slow my pace and homeschool with purpose and live life with vigor. I also purged the house of half our stuff (even though I could definitely manage to do this again – it was a huge improvement!) As I mentioned in Day 3 of this series, orderliness glorifies God and shows our love for those living in our household. It shows that stuff isn’t more important than people.
*Bringing the day to a close. This is tomorrow’s post – it’s a goodie!
*Creating “atmosphere” and “ambiance” with family favorites. Last week, we talked about decorating your home in a way that brings peace. Add to this things like candles, music, and lighting to create a peaceful atmosphere that is warm and inviting to your dear family.
*Smile. Send your husband off with a smile. Wake your children with a smile. When your husband comes home from a long day at work, smile and welcome him home.
*Show hospitality to your family. Hospitality shouldn’t be saved for guests alone. Your family deserves the royal treatment every day of the week!
*Gather the family for Family Worship and enjoy it! We do our Family Worship Time shortly before bed. Sometimes we sing, sometimes there are instruments, Daddy always reads from the Bible, and we always have prayer time. There are no family worship rules, so lose that notion and then work from there. A wonderful DVD on the topic is this one:
But, it is a little hard to come by – check Amazon!
Purchase the ebook!
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Ashley Cozzens says
I know exactly what you mean about the home not being a peaceful destination. Except I’m the one who always wants to go somewhere after my husband gets home. I also have the problem of thinking that if I go out and buy something, I’m taking control of a situation at home that I want to fix. But all we end up with is more clutter and less money. Thanks for the encouraging post. This is something that I’m really trying to work on. At your recommendation, I’m working through Tell Your Time and am really excited to implement it. My one question would be: What do you do if your husband is not on board with decluttering and purging. He holds onto stuff more than I do and it always turns into an arguement. He says he wants to sell which is why he won’t let me donate, but then he never gets around to selling…
Amy says
I do not purge my husband’s things. We have places that are just for his things. They are tucked away as best as can be. I control only what I can control and diligently avoid resentment over the things I cannot change. 😉
Rightthinker says
There is no greater blessing for a woman, than to have the peace that her husband and children greatly desire to be at home! No constant running about..no chaos..nothing that pulls the husband away regularly, as a means for escape, because no greater joy can be found for him than at home.
The smells of home cooking, children who are being taught respect, obedience and become excited at the arrival home of daddy..it’s not something that is “long gone” with the era of make believe Father Knows Best. It’s alive and well when the Holy Spirit is given a dwelling place in the heart of mother at home!
Celee says
We’ve made progress in this area, but still have much to do. I am by nature rather frantic and spastic. I move at a fast pace and it drives my husband crazy. I try to have dinner ready or almost ready when he gets home, so I’m not stressed about that. And I’ve learned to not dump my day on him before he’s had time to unwind. He’ll ask when he’s ready.
I really enjoyed this post and need to go back and read the ones I missed. I’m pretty pragmatic and not good at the decorating. Hopefully the smell of homemade dinner is peaceful : ). And I definitely need to smile more. I’m way too serious. Thank you for the reminder. A smile is alwasy an encouragement. As is your blog!
Celee
Mary Ewing says
Please do NOT click on the Tie that Binds You. I just clicked on it and was hacked by a trojan horse. It completely destroyed my computer. This is 11/15/11 4:24pm. Please let that blogger know that this is a bad bad link