I sat immersed in emails and blog posts, downloads for school, and other miscellaneous computer work. My husband sat next to me, immersed in much the same. Every now and then he would say something about what he was looking at or make some remark about his day to which I would offer a courteous nod and smile as my fingers continued to type furiously. I kept thinking, “If I could just get this finished, then I could devote my full attention to him.”
My motives were pure, but my methods were faulty.
My husband wanted to connect with me. He wanted me to stop and make eye contact with him so he knew I was listening…really listening…to him, his heart, and the things that were important to him and to us.
Had my work been extremely time sensitive, he would have honored that, but it wasn’t. It was just stuff. Stuff that was capturing my attention away from my beloved.
As women, we were born to multitask, but how easy it is to multitask our husbands right out of the picture as if he were just another check mark on our To-Do list.
So, I began to stop and make eye contact with my wonderful husband so that he could see he truly matters more than whatever else I might be focusing on at the moment.
It only takes a second, but the rewards are great!
Renee says
Great post!!!
I think this can be use also with children as well as husband. Those precious people that God as place in our life, they need our attention, to be touched, to be loved by us.
How often we think we are too busy, just to stop, give a kiss and go on with our task. There is always time for them, they are no inconveniences, but blessings!
Melody says
Thank you for the reminder!
Kim says
Uh oh … guilty as charged. Thanks for a timely reminder, Amy.
Teresa says
Guilty:( With so much school to correct and a house and 5 kids to keep up with I can honestly say that our marriage has taken a back seat. Things are fine mind you, but well lets just say I know if I feel neglected he must also.
It is so true that it is the little things that really matter. I know for me it is so simple to take time to make special things for him or to do for him, but to actually spend time with him is so hard. I just don’t understand why. Something I will work hard on this week. Thanks for the reminder.
Amy says
It really IS the little things. I have to remind myself often. 😉
Molly` says
TOTALLY agree…looking them in the eye when they are sharing (especially if you are married to a more quiet guy) is a sign of respect. Not looking at him seems so disrespectful.
Gosh…I love my husband so much and know that he feels loved when he is respected, so as hard as it is (especially when I’m busy making dinner) to stop and look him in the eye. He’s one of the quiet ones too, so when he talks, I really need to stop and listen.
Such a great reminder, Amy!
Corine says
I love this! What a universal experience!! It’s all about what we truly love most, isn’t it? Love is a verb, an action. And choosing to love… I do not have the words to describe the experience!
Hugs to your and yours,
Corine 😀
Natasha says
Absolutely agree. We all need this reminder from time to time. Another one I’ve found recently is to reach out and touch our husbands is important. As moms we have touched and loved and held children all day. For me when my husband comes home, and I want to withdraw from everyone – including him. I have the “leave me alone” syndrome. He needs me to reach out – give him a hug, rub his shoulders, or just squeeze his hand. It shows him that he is important.
Amy says
Yes! By the end of the day I want to crash and so does he, but he wants me to be there with him and for him and I have to remember I can relax AND be a wife too! 😉
Jamie @ See Jamie Blog says
I ADORE this photo of you and your husband. Makes me smile. 🙂
And the post is a great reminder, so thanks!
Taunya says
Amy, such a great reminder. I try to remember when my husband starts complaining about my computer time that he’s feeling neglected. It’s so hard to balance it all…but I’m thankful I have him.
Laurie says
Amy, oh, did I need this reminder. My husband and I are both so busy and he has been working longer hours this week. I’m so guilty of multi-tasking my husband out of the picture.
Laurie
Sonita Lewis says
I see so many bloggers posting about this right now and I know I too am going through this, this blog sucking the life out of my family thing, slowly of course, but many bloggers seem to be taking a step back. Great post!
Lisa~ says
I love this Amy! My computer is in my bedroom and I sit in my recliner working at the computer every night after the kids are in bed and James is doing his own thing. About a year ago I decided (a thought from the Lord I am sure!) to stop whenever he walked into the room and get up and greet him. The first time I did it he thought something must be wrong…LOL! But soon afterward he told me how much he appreciates that and it has turned into something more that has added that little boost our marriage needed. Thanks for writing about the simple, small things. They make such a HUGE difference! Lisa~
Amy says
That’s so funny he thought something was wrong! That is such a wonderful idea, Lisa!
Jamie (@va_grown) says
This is a great point–small, but so effective and important! I have started to STOP what I’m doing to listen to my husband when he’s speaking to me, and by forcing myself to focus I’ve realized how often I THOUGHT I was successfully multi-tasking, but was really just half-listening/paying attention.
I’ve also found that he feels much more loved and respected when I am firm about not allowing the children to interrupt our conversation unless it’s clearly an emergency or they wait for a break in the talking and ask politely. Knowing that he is getting my full and first attention really makes a difference.