We haven’t had a real television in nearly 10 years.
However, dig a little deeper and you will find a family who still watches movies and who, until last month had a well-worn Netflix subscription. {those of you who follow the Raising Arrows facebook page might remember the discussion that took place surrounding Netflix’s decision to raise its prices. We chose to do away with it completely…along with 599,999 other people!}
So, truth be told, we weren’t somehow holier in our lack of owning the actual device commonly known as the television, even if it was rather fun to see people’s expressions when we would say, “We don’t own a television.”
In fact, there were times we didn’t have a very good grasp on how much time we were spending watching movies on a computer screen. Except for the lack of commercials, there wasn’t much difference between our television days and our non-television days.
And even when we did manage to curb the amount of time we spent watching something on our computer, we still found it easy to slip back into a watch-something-all-the-time mode.
Currently, we allow 1 movie on Wednesday, 1 movie on Friday and 1 movie on Saturday. And that takes willpower and steadfastness because it is so very easy to just plop the children in front of the television computer when we need some extra breathing space or need to get a project done. They are so easily entertained by what they see on that screen.
Sometimes we watch a movie as a family using a projector attached to the laptop and shot up on a white blanket we hang from the ceiling. These kind of projectors can be found at Amazon for a decent price and make for fun family times…especially as Daddy is setting it up…
It’s a never-ending battle because even good things get out of control sometimes. And yes, not owning an actual TV has made it easier to control, but it has not taken out the human factor that longs to obsess and focus and be drawn in. However, you can be assured the more you focus on Christ the less you will want to focus on the television, computer, or whatever it is that draws you in. You will see them for what they are…tools that are either used for glorifying God and encourage you to draw nearer to Him or a distraction that draws you away.
Here are a few things we have done to make sure what we watch isn’t “distracting” us…
1. Philipians 4:8 is posted near where we watch movies. If what we are watching doesn’t meet those guidelines, it’s not worth it. We also have a small sign that sits near our computer that says, “Jesus is Lord.” – because Jesus is Lord of EVERYTHING (click here to read more about our worldview)
2. Sometimes we rely on the television to get us through certain “seasons,” but if our season is lasting a really long time, we need to find something else to help us out or re-evaluate whether or not our season is really bad enough we need movies to babysit the kids.
Rule of thumb: Would you let the people on the movies babysit your kids in real life?
3. Is what we are watching making us more creative or dumbing us down? After my children watched The Runner from Ravenshead, they play-acted the scenes over and over and even considered creating the flying zipline mobile from the movie {until their mother freaked out}. The movie invoked creativity and taught our children more about Christ’s character.
4. Not everything has to be overtly Christian to be worth watching, but it still better line up with #1. For instance, a favorite movie of ours is Mr. Smith Goes to Washington. It is not a Christian film and there is a bar scene that some parents would probably be shocked we allow our children to watch, but the premise of the movie is absolutely outstanding and is definitely in line with the Bible. When we watch it we always explain to our children that the reason the woman drinks too much in that scene is because she knows what is happening to Mr. Smith is wrong and she is having a hard time reckoning her part in it. In the end, she does the right thing. It’s a story of standing for the truth against all odds…sound biblical morals and definitely worth watching.
So, how do you handle television and movie watching in your home?
abba12 says
My family isn’t as strict with movies and music, we don’t feel that all entertainment and activities need to be overtly christian, we enjoy secular movies and music for a range of reasons. However we do have limits. When our baby is old enough to watch movies my husband and I will pre-approve them for suitability based on age and ability to understand what is right and wrong in a film. But non-christian issues don’t have to destroy what would otherwise be an enjoyable, and perhaps even meaningful, movie or song. We just have to have the dissernment to know what is right and wrong in what we are exposed to. We are called to be in the world but not of it and this is something I feel very strongly about. For my family, part of this is not shunning worldly entertainment but using the bible and dissernment to examine it, and remove that which is obviously sinful (nudity in films is a big issue for me, for example)
I find for myself, books will get into my mind and my behaviour more than anything else, and I rarely read fiction any longer. It depends on how much it effects you. On the other hand, the TV when used correctly can be a great tool, in Australia one channel televises educational serieses in the morning that some classrooms use as curriculum. And there are reality shows like cooking contests and life documentaries.
Lisa Grace says
We have gone back and forth on the TV thing ourselves; we have one, but no cable. It’s a nice way to wind down when we need it and we have a weekly family movie night that we all look forward to. I think that the issue is not the TV, but the discipline it requires not to depend on it, use it as a crutch, or allow it to compromise one’s standards.
Melisssa Howard says
I have found that my girls tend to respond negatively to a lot of what is on television or in movies or films (we seldom let them watch ‘real’ television they mostly watch videos or Netflix choices. The result of seeing the decline of their behavior in relationship to their watching of television has made it very easy for my husband and I to limit what they watch.
I seldom let them watch television during the day or even during the week. They mostly get the opportunity to watch movies or documentaries on the Saturday and Sunday evening with my husband and I.
I am not inclined to watch a lot of television myself and so I think it makes it easy to keep the television off during the week.
In college I had a television because I had won one in high school. I stowed the antennae in my trunk when I found that my roommate watched television all the time just because it was there. It drove me nuts.
I think seeing her do nothing but watch television really opened my eyes to the negative impact of television on lives.
Kate @ Modern Alternative Mama says
The TV is not my downfall. We have a couple. I don’t even turn it on during the day unless we are sick or I absolutely have to get something done, which is not that often. We don’t have cable, though, we just stream stuff from the internet over the TV. Music videos (a wide variety) are a favorite, various Disney/Pixar movies (LOVE Cars!). The kids watch TV with Daddy in the evenings while I am working (among other things; but TV is Daddy’s downfall). I enjoy an hour, often less, in the evenings before bed. I see TV (for myself) as a fun fantasy world. A lot of people, I think, seem to treat them TV as a mirror to the world and behave in the ways they see on the screen. I just think of it like a fairytale. It’s not real and it’s entertaining. I actually really like the old Friends episodes, and I love that despite many of the worldly things they do they are always there for each other. And I just love Monica and Chandler, lol. Christian? No. Especially excellent to watch? No. Fun in small doses (and not for the children)? Yes. I can handle that, personally, since TV doesn’t draw me in terribly. Some couldn’t and that’s okay.
Renee says
I like this post! I think some people gets to legalistic in this topic, Yes we have a TV but we can only watch DVD’s and VHS. Our TV is put away (not in our living room) and brought out for special treats (and because it’s so big and hard to move… it’s a real treat, when I bring it out for the little one!!!)
why do I not leave it in our living room, well I tried and there was grumps about it, fighting over what they wanted to watch, putting a Dvd on when they did not have permission etc… it’s easier for our family not to have it in the family room.
Since out 3 little girls are still very little we haven’t had computer issue yet, but I know time will come when I will need to make rule about this too!!!
So I by all means is not against TV, of the that type of entertainment, can be very useful during certain season of life, can be a good learning tool, but it needs lots of monitoring, just like books, music.. We need to be involve in our children life always!
Sharon @ Hiking Toward Home says
Though we have a TV, we don’t actually watch broadcasted TV. Make sense? we don’t have cable or satellite either. Just Dvds and vhs tapes (yup, we still have THOSE oldtimey things).
Many of our reasons were exactly what you mentioned here. It also wasn’t purely a religious decision, I can think of other things I would rather do with the 60 buckeroos a month.
Yes there are days I would love to sit and stare at HGTV all. day. long. but… if I am that desperate… there is always HGTV on the net.
There are lots of movies marketed as kids movies that after viewing them ONCE we decided they are not appropriate for our kids to view over and over and over til them memorize them. Rio being one example… there are so many side comments that are SO INAPPROPRIATE for even adults, i was shocked that it had a G rating. (comments referring to the birds being chained together with sexual connotations and sideways comments especially.)
anyway… agree with your article. glad you wrote it.
Amy says
We have some of the same issues with movies marketed to children…just not appropriate! (and we have VHS tapes too 😉 )
Corine says
My husband and I have been married for 22 years, and have never had normal television. We do, however watch movies, and like you, we also canceled Netflix when the price went up. For many years we only watched movies on Friday nights (“movie night”, we called it). I think this was the BEST movie arrangement that we ever had because we had so much time for so many other things, and really got excited about watching a movie when we did watch one. As the kids have gotten older we have become more and more relaxed with our movie schedule (we don’t have one!). But we will never get lax about the content. What we allow in our home does not have to say “Christian” on the cover; but it DOES have to have values and standards which agree with the teachings of Christ. We believe that what we watch will take us closer to Christ, or lead us further away from him. Our teens are not perfect about this, and sometimes choose entertainment that I feel is not appropriate, so I talk to them about it and encourage them to be wise with the choices they make. One thing is fairly standard – no rated R movies in our home… And we are very careful about which PG 13 movies we watch with our teens.
So there you have it. That’s how we deal with TV. 🙂 Thanks for your article. I love your projector! I think we need that element of fun again. Too bad we ever started watching movies frequent enough to lose that “movie night” excitement. I’m hoping to fill our lives with other things, lessen the watching, and get that back! Maybe a projector for Friday nights would help.
Corine 😀
Amy B says
We have a TV in the LR, our BR and the kids have one in their BR. However, they don’t get used frequently. I have discussed whether or not to get rid of it, but my husband says no. He enjoys sports and he and my boys have a couple of things they watch together. I do enjoy the cooking shows because my culinary skills need fine tuning.
My husband says “when I want to look at something, I want to have it available, it’s up to using our own self-control and wisdom to determine what is watched and how much. You do not throw your knives out the door because the kids may hurt themselves, and you don’t get rid of your electricity so the kids dont get hurt if they stick a butter knife in the socket either. These things are only
tools, use them wisely”. So that is where I left it. And I am okay with that, hubby’s the last word, not me.
Kersten says
Thank you for this comment. We did not have a tv for about 3 years. Now we do, plus cable. His decision that I have been struggling with. Not many of my friends have one and I feel not quite cool if you know what I mean. Glad to know I am not the only Christian conservative homeschool Mama with cable. 😉
Amy B says
Oh yeah, I know what you mean. In secular circles you dont discuss politics, religion, or how much money you make. In Christian circles, you dont discuss homeschooling, skirt wearing, headcovering, TV, music and dietary choices. Why is our list so much longer? Seems like a shame we have so many haot button items.
Katie says
I love Mr. Smith Goes to Washington!!! Have you ever seen It’s a Wonderful Life? It has the same actor Jimmy Stuart. Very cute movie!
Michelle says
I love the idea of putting Philippians 4:8 up nearby. I have thought about doing that in the past with our TV.as well as the scripture, “I shall set no vile things before my eyes.” (Sorry, I don’t have time to find and write the verse reference, but I know you know the one:)
Your projector screen seems like a lot of fun!
Emily B says
Good post!
Our situation is similar. No cable for a couple of years now, just movies on DVD & we do still have Netflix [for now]. {nope, we are no holier} ;)I still find it difficult to find appropriate wholesome viewing.
In my opinion, there is so much more that we can do with our time than watching TV.
Oh and loved your soda post. I’m a diet soda addict that needs recovery…you inspired me!
Blessings!
Kimberly @ Raising Olives says
I think there are two aspects of TV (or video or movie) watching and you hit on both of them.
First of course is does the program bring glory to God and cause us to ‘think on these things’? As you mentioned a program doesn’t have to be ‘Christian’ to fit this standard, but so many people watch trash and justify it by saying, “I can recognize what is wrong with it.” Our standard must be God’s standard; pure, lovely, virtuous and praise worthy (Phil. 4:8)
The second, is this the best use of our time? Is this what God has called us to do for Him right now? I think this is a much harder issue. 🙂
We have a TV. My husband enjoys watching college football when our team is playing on broadcast television (which isn’t often). Other than that I don’t even know what shows are currently being broadcast. We do enjoy watching a DVD every Friday night with our children. 🙂
I’m thinking I need to write my own post.
Amy says
Yes, on the harder issue…and I think RARELY is it the BEST use. Can’t wait to hear more on your thoughts. 😉
Teresa says
We have a tv, but get no channels. We use it just for vhs and dvd’s we buy. We do not do any subscription services either. We buy our movies at resale shops and garage sales. Mostly Little House on the Prairie, Sherily Temple, and Three Stoogies. We also like our westerns like John Wayne (most people wouldn’t allow these, but we also need to be in the world, but not part of it so we allow most of them and explain as needed). Then there are all the great christian movies. Creation Science, Ken Ham, and for us parents we love SM Davis education and Bible DVDS.
My husband misses watching the Packers (NFL) and I have to admit I miss the news. Unless I have the christian news station on during the day I never know what is going on. And my husband is not so good at remembering to tell me what is new in the world when he get home:(
We have not gotten into watching on the internet, so that is not a issue here, but the kids would like to see a movie at the theater once. Maybe we will go see the new one in a few weeks by the people who made Fireproof.
People think we are strange, but it is what works for us, and I don’t expect it to work for everyone. I must admit when people say they don’t have time to do anything they want, I have to wander how much time they would have if they gave up just one show a week. I can get a lot done in 30 minutes:)
Amy says
My husband is a John Wayne fan, but the language is atrocious. We’re considering getting a TV guardian to block the words so we can still watch them. My children have been known to say, “Rooster J. Cogburn…United States Potty Mouth” in their best John Wayne accent. 😉
mandy says
we own almost every john wayne movie out there and i think only 2 have very mild language???
Amy says
Boy, it seems like every single one we’ve watched had some sort of language (and many of his characters like alcohol…a lot!)
Heather says
Teresa, have you tried http://www.happynews.com ? Or maybe your Christian news station you listen to has a website!
🙂
Danielle B says
We have several tv’s. And like the first poster we are super strict when it comes to tv. There are some things I draw the line at. I don’t want my children to have a culture shock when they enter the world. We do have Netflix. And I guess most of you all were getting the streaming because ours went DOWN because we get only the dvds. And even if we did have streaming we’d still have it. A few bucks isn’t a big deal to us.
Christine says
We began our marriage with a TV given to us, but no cable, and I loved that time. Later, when we moved into our first house, we had satellite (the house was owned by my parents who visited frequently, and paid to have the service), and there were definitely ups & downs with that. It wasn’t much trouble for my husband or I (because I’m not really a TV person), but again, it was the ease of being able to put on something for my 18 month old while I cared for my newborn. While we did limit the shows, and the channels that had no commercials, I’m sure I used it too often at times. Her speech & vocabulary excelled from the programs she watched, and we didn’t notice any behavior issues because of the shows we limited her to, but it was the ease of it all. 🙂 In our new place now, we just have a Netflix subscription for wholesome viewing, but are considering even getting rid of that. Our girls can keep each other occupied much easier than when there was just one. 😉
I love the simplicity of a life without television!
Jenny says
We recently got rid of the TV the kids used to watch. They’d only watch a 30 min Christian DVD a few times a week but I just felt I went through times where I struggled with relying on it. We have a TV in our bedroom that will be donated this weekend. We don’t use it but saved it for school b/c my son’s math uses a DVD. But we’ve realized we just put that on the computer. We also have netflix but will most likely cancel it as we just don’t watch it much. Right now, we have a collection of Christian or educational only DVDs that the kids can watch on the computer. I like this b/c I know if I’m sick, or they are (like this morning) I can put something on and I know exactly what they are viewing. And without the TV, I’m not tempted to set up my computer for a lot of watching just on any old day. We like it this way. We like that we do more together, or the kids play more interactively together, or they play outside. We like that movies are special things and not standard. My sister, however, took the opposite approach with her son. He watches TV, plays video games (we don’t own those either), and is on the computer almost constantly. Once he was grounded from that all and he said to his mom, “what CAN I do that involves a screen?” She thought this was funny. I was shocked. He doesn’t know how to play well. She constantly teases me about our decision to have less media in our house and calls us “anti media.” She swears that technology will “save the world one day.” Sad. We never hardly even mention this choice of ours, she just knows it. And she thinks we judge her just b/c she does it differently. She’s a difficult person to begin with but I don’t know how to respond to her when she thinks we judge her just b/c she knows we do things different in our house. Have you ever had that reaction?
Christine says
Hi Jenny~
I obviously don’t know the inner parts of your sister’s heart. But from our experience, the “judgment” that one claims to feel, particularly when the other person is not “proclaiming” their convictions in a judgmental way, is more of a lack of confidence in their decision, and sometimes a second guessing of what is best or right. The way we live our life is very different than many people, even in our immediate family. And we are very confident that choices we have made are the right choices for our edification, our spiritual health, etc. And somehow we get accused of being judgmental, concerning things that we have not spoken to anyone else about! But I think others see a difference. And when they may be struggling with something, or are unsure of a decision, and they see another doing “better” than them, I think the fleshly tendency is to accuse of legalism, etc, for justification. I believe this is true most of the time, because we have seen family members who sought the Lord regarding issues, and have come up with different solutions or conclusions than ours, but they are confident. And because they are confident, we can share with each other without feeling judged. And that’s because our confidence comes from the Lord, and not looking to other men.
Jillian says
In our home we have a TV with no cable access. We have a handful of tapes/dvd’s that have been approved by us. sadly, many of the movies that we thought were “safe” because of the G rating, have had parts in them that we don’t like for one reason or another. We found a great website that rates movies based on several factors. On of them being, religious exclamations. It is VERY detailed as it dissects the movie very carefully. This website has saved us from watching a movie we thought was okay. We ALWAYS check the movie first using this website. Whether it’s for our kids or my husband and I.
http://www.kids-in-mind.com
Amy says
Thanks for that site! I’d never heard of it.
Crissyanna @ Created for Home says
We haven’t had a real television in the six and a half years we’ve been married. When my husband was in college, he was roommates with a guy who had a very large screen TV. Hubbs failed that semester from watching the TV. It was always on. We just decided that it was easier to not have one. His mom bought us a tiny one with a built in VCR because she decided we needed a math curriculum with VHS tapes (at that point we didn’t even have any VHS tapes…) The VCR started eating tapes and we did hook it up to the old Nintendo SNES my husband had from Jr. High. It gets played once a year. We play football and pair up the teams in the Super Bowl. I’m sick of it sitting in the study and am considering just getting rid of it.
We do allow DVDs in the computer for viewing. We preview everything the girls are allowed to watch. And we can go weeks without having something on. This week has been the exception since we are all taking turns with a nasty, nasty stomach virus.
While there have been times I’ve desperately missed having a television and cable (we’ve never even had Netflix, mainly due to cost with the under-employment we’ve struggled with in the past) like after our tornado. Though I’m rather glad now I didn’t have it available. The girls didn’t need to be exposed to such images after that happened. It was hard enough living through that in town and to have seen it on television would have made it worse for us.
Maybe someday we’ll consider getting one. However, it would end up being another thing to have to clean and would take up space that could be occupied by something else (like more bookshelves for us…) Why give myself extra housework?
Alana says
Ohhhh, that old “watch-something-all-the-time-mode” is so much like chocolate. So tasty and hard to get away from.
When we are finally out of that mode, we only allow our JBoys to watch things after chores and schooling are done. And then too, only once or twice a week. As a family, we watch the oldies from Netflix like “I Love Lucy” which does have many things that we need to talk to our boys about, reminding them that , even though it was funny, was it right of Lucy to lie or hide something from her husband, etc, etc?
We watch probably 2 or 3 evenings a week for an hour or more. But the hardest person to convince that we really don’t need to watch tv is my hard working hubby. I’m praying about that! It’s funny. He grew up with tv, but wanted to play instead of watch it. But after he’s worked hard, even sometimes after he comes home, after dinner and when the boys are put to bed, he unwinds with some tv time. I need to invite him to come read a good book with me, at least once a week. 😀 Personally, I have plenty to keep me busy without it.
mandy says
yep, we’re in the “have TV but it only works for videos’ too. we were actually thrilled when netflix changed it’s policy, because we never stream movies anyways, and our price dropped:) jimmy stewart is my favorite actor in the enire world.:) we watch A LOT of movies. usually one a day for the kids, then hubby and i watch one after kids are in bed. he has a very demanding job, and the only thing he has the energy for is a movie since he gets home late and leaves early. soemtimes i feel it’s too much, but i try to give myself a break that an hour and a half once a day won’t hurt them… we are VERY careful of what we watch. we don’t watch only chistian, but i try to read reviews on pluggedin.com or common sense media for everything we watch. good post:)
Melissa says
My husband works for the cable company, so we actually have to have cable ( its part of his job to be able to check on channels if someone phones in with an issue etc). One of the best investments we have made is to purchase a PVR ( personal video recorder) Our children know how to choose a show from the list of recordings, and they know that they may not choose anything else unless they have our permission. This gives us the ability to pre-approve anything they watch. One of the perks of his job is that the fee we pay for pay per view or on demand movies is either nothing, or only a couple of dollars. We can’t rent them that cheap, and even if we watch a lot of movies, it’s still less than something like netflicks anyway. Since we are on a tight budget right now, this is a very inexpensive way to have “date night” together. After the kids are in bed, we watch a movie from our home instead of going out. However, it is still a huge time glut sometimes. We have seasons when we watch more tv ( like our winters when its -50, and right now when we have a newborn). Sometimes the amount of time we use the tv builds until I am suddenly sick of it and realize we need a drastic cut back. One year for lent, I gave up tv and facebook. It was a great way to re-set my time management priorities!
Andrea says
I am late to the discussion, but I hope this comment doesn’t get lost.
Suggestion: if you have a newer TV, you can remove the power cord from the back. Only put the cord in during approved TV watching times. Pull it out when over.
Our TV is simply too big to move, like one comment mentioned. We don’t have cable but do allow DVDs. We have approved all DVDs that are in the house, so we are ok with them watching them, however, they are greatly tempted to watch when they haven’t been given permission.
I am a firm believer in not setting your children up for failure. If you make a rule like you can only eat desert 1 night a week, don’t have deserts sitting around the house the other 6. The temptation is too great for a young child to overcome and for mom’s who like cookies. TV is SO addictive and so, if you don’t want your child watching TV without your permission, don’t allow him the opportunity to do so.
There is a time when children need to learn to be tempted and resist, but on a day to day basis, hour by hour, their hearts are not yet prepared to resist. So do them and yourself a favor by taking the temptation away.
WARNING!!! Don’t put the cord somewhere and forget where it is. Always put it back in the same location or you will be purchasing a new cord which is pricey
Candyce says
We dropped our satelite a few months ago. We didn’t watch but 2 shows anyway, we kept the tv for occasional family movie nights and christian teaching videos. With 5 kids 7 and under, who even has time for even those! I love that you have a scripture posted by thwe TV.