A lot to tell you this week!
Last Wednesday, I had my 14 week OB appointment. My doctor spent some time checking my diastasis and talking to us about how to fix it and when. We have a lot to think over and pray about there, but it seems that exercises alone are not going to fix it. She feels it is a full on hernia and will require a general surgeon and a plastic surgeon to fix it properly. This really isn’t a huge surprise to us. We’ve known for a while that the split in my stomach muscles were extreme compared to what most women have. Ideally, I will need to be finished having children and give myself enough time postpartum to lose the weight I’d like to and not need to lift a baby during the time I am healing. So, the surgery could be quite a way off, but at least we have a plan of attack when that time comes.
A little bit about diastasis and pregnancy, for those of you who have not followed my story over the years. For the most part, it isn’t dangerous to pregnancy. I end up looking due around 15-20 weeks and from there, my belly stretches even more as my uterus tips outward. There are no muscles to stop my uterus from tipping frontward. Baby either ends up with its head toward my back and its bum sticking way out or baby floats and turns breech because of the amount of room it has to move around without the hinderance of stomach muscles. Herein lies the most major pregnancy complication associated with diastasis.
Several of my babies have been transverse breech and needed to be turned. My last two have been head down, but Creed had to be pushed into place at the very end. Pushing the baby into place basically involves two people on either side of me tipping my uterus (and baby) so that baby’s head slips into the birth canal and I can push. Some OBs would not understand this and would be likely to call a c-section rather than work to get baby where he or she needed to be. Thankfully, I have an OB who isn’t quick to operate.
In other news, Ty and I attended the final Teach Them Diligently Homeschool Convention of 2014 in Dallas. We had so much fun and met so many people! The photo above is Sarah of My Joy-Filled Life (another large family mom blogger) and me after one of my sessions. All the sessions went well, and I can only attribute that to the fact that I could not have done any of it without the Lord guiding my words. What a blessing!
This week on July 4th marks Emily’s 7th birthday. As usual, we’ll do sparklers at her gravesite to celebrate. Every year, it seems unbelievable that another year has gone by. Here is a photo of Megan (our now 13 year old) and Emmy to give you an idea of just how much time has passed.
As I’m sure you know, another girl would be quite welcome in this family. Even my boys are ready for another girl! When #7 was born and became the second little boy in a row following Emily’s death, I was devastated. It feels awful to say that – especially considering that little boy is a sheer delight – but, it was the truth. When #8 turned out to be another little boy, I was okay with that. But, here I sit again, really longing for another girl, and wondering if that will ever happen again.
There is no replacement for Emmy. This isn’t really about Emily as much as it is about all the things I store in my basement in the hopes that someday there will be another girl to wear the clothes Emily wore as well as the clothes she never grew into that I continue to hang onto. It’s about the pink and purple and frills that come with having a little girl. It’s about the hair to fix and the little extras that come with having a baby girl that I’ve nearly forgotten.
And so we pray, knowing the Lord has His perfect plan for our family – girl baby or not.
Kersten says
This is such a great post! I can so relate to you. We found out we are having another girl and this is the first after our son Johns, death. I had no idea how badly I wanted a boy until they told us we were having a girl. And how fleshly I am. I had no idea how much I would have to grieve his death all over again. My poor son is so sad not to have a brother but I will tell you, there is no better knight in shining armour than him to his sweet 3 sisters! I am so blessed. It is a hard journey, having children after loss. Thank you for being transparent. It helps this mama feel not so alone. PS I do the same thing with my belly. I am 22 weeks and look huge. I am realizing it is lack of muscle but I am having another c-section, truly necessary, and working on it is just going to have to wait like you. Trying to embrace it and not get upset when strangers say, “you must be ready to deliver any day!”. Keep on being real Amy. You are truly lifting up many Mama’s. Many blessings!
Amy says
((HUGS))
Charlotte Moore says
I so hope you do have another girl. I wanted a girl so bad and we had 2 boys. Then when we were going to be grandparents I wanted a girl again. We have 3 grandsons. Then we were going to be great grandparents. Again I wanted a girl but I guess I thought I never would so I wasn’t as hopeful as the other times. They said it was going to be a girl but I really didn’t believe it until my grandson said, Gran, it really is a girl. Oh my how that sweet little Princess has brought joy to our lives. All the PINK that I never got to buy has truly infiltrated our house. HAHAHA!!!! So thankful the LORD allowed me to know that feeling of a little girl.
GOD BLESS!!
Amy says
🙂
Angie says
Can you share a little more about pushing Creed into the birth canal? I’m forty weeks and my baby will not come down. Was your need based on your muscle split?
Amy says
Yes, it was because of the split. In fact, every time I went in for my checkup, I would lay back and my doctor would wait a bit to check my belly until it had shifted backward a bit. I am no longer able to labor standing up because baby will not descend if I do. So, in the end, I have to lay in bed and have my uterus pushed backward where it should be.
Tina H. says
Have you heard of fit2b? I started exercising there and was able to really improve my diastasis and then from there I learned of thetummyteam.com and was able to really rehab my stomach and heal my diastasis. Kelly from the Tummy Team has a prenatal program that has helped a lot of people….maybe something you could check into. Kelly herself had a huge diastasis and was able to pull it together w/o surgery. There are also many people in the FB group that have talked of hernia issues. Praying for you on this journey!
Amy says
Yes, I have heard of them. I have done some of the exercises through them and really like them. My DR is even bigger than Kelly’s, but I do plan to work with these exercises until I have the surgery and reconstruction.
amy says
Thinking of you, my friend. Thank you for sharing the beauty of you life and the less beautiful. We’ve joined you in praying for another little girl for your family 🙂
Kimberly says
My sister has bad diastasis and had a good size hernia this pregnancy. She was having a lot of pain and actually ordered one of the newer designed splints for it. She was told she would eventually have to have surgery. The splint totally made a difference! She said the hernia disappeared. She gets huge too. Everyone kept asking when she was due, if it was twins, etc.! She has a very small frame and it looked as if she would topple over. She said it felt that way too!
Thank you for sharing how you would like another girl. We are expecting are fifth boy in a row. I am so excited, but would love another girl. We only have one daughter, our oldest, who is turning 11 next week.
I love the picture of Emily and her big sister, what a doll.
Rach D says
I saw the pic that Sarah posted of the two of you on Instagram: you both look great!
I hope you let us know when you find out which sex you’re having…do you usually wait until birth? Or ultrasound?
I am such a planner that I never left anything to surprise 😉 I knew with all five.
Glad to see you looking so radiant Amy & that you are doing so well with the pregnancy (although I’m sure you have your moments!!)
Rachael @ Diamonds in the Rough (http://www.parentingandhomeschoolinginfaith.com)
Amy says
We don’t ever let them tell us what we are having, but we do look for ourselves. 😉
Laura says
My sister also had diastasis. After 5 kids, the last being twins, she had a 6 inch gap (non-pregnant). After losing her desired weight, she the same surgery but also a tummy tuck since they were messing with her belly anyways. 🙂 She was in her early 30’s and decided she was still young and needed to be able to play with the kids, lift them up, etc. and not have the safety hazard of the diastasis the rest of her life. She went to a PT, did Fit2b, but they could only help so much. I think you are making the right decision whenever you decide you are done having kids. My sister is SO glad she had it done and has never experienced any problems afterwards.
I’ve also been wanting to thank you for your blog. I know you’ve posted how you want to be open and honest and I REALLY appreciate it. You are very articulate and knowledgeable and I’m sure people must put you on a pedastal. But I also appreciate how real you are. You give your kids boxed foods sometimes? Awesome! I am a firm believer of being healthy when I can but sometimes for the sake of sanity (and keeping sin out of my heart), insta-food is the lesser of the evils. 🙂 A lot of bloggers seem to have it all together in their perfect world and it makes me feel like a failure. But you freely share struggles and desires vs. reality. I feel like we would be good friends if I lived nearby. So, thank you for your blog and sharing your life and experiences! I love to see how the Lord is blessing you and working through your family!
Amy says
Thank you so much for your kind words, Laura! Both about the surgery and the “being real.” I needed to hear both. 🙂
Jen says
I totally get how you feel. After our son Griffin was stillborn I wanted another baby so badly, but even more so, I wanted another little boy to experience being a boy mom on this earth – something I had so been looking forward to. When we were pregnant again we decided to find out the gender (even though we were completely prepared clothes wise for either gender) because if it was a girl I needed to have some grieving/processing time and I didn’t want to do that processing after they came out – I wanted just joy then! God did grace us with another little boy, so from here on out (if we have any more children) I am completely content with whatever God chooses to grace us with.