A friend of mine who is raising a house full of boys recently told me how her friend with only girls could not relate to her life in the least. We laughed about how it was nice to be in the company of another “boy mom” who understood the zoo we live in.
That conversation is what made me decide to write this post. It is for those of you who are either in the infancy stages of raising several boys in a row or have never raised a group of boys at all. There is something very different about raising a bunch of boys as opposed to raising a bunch of girls. I’ve done both, and trust me, the difference is profound. It’s so profound that those on the outside don’t always understand us boy moms. I hope this helps.
#1 – Boys are loud.
Yes, girls are loud too, but it is a different loud. Girl loud is more like a high-pitched, intermittent squeal. Boy loud is non-stop. They make noise every moment they are awake. Clicking sounds, crashing sounds, rocket sounds, animal sounds, bodily sounds…it never ends. Sometimes I ignore it. Sometimes it overwhelms me. I will try to keep the noise to a dull roar when you are over for a visit, but that’s about as good as it gets.
#2 – Boys move a lot.
All those sound effects include motion. They never sit still. Never. Not even during their favorite TV show. They act out the show as it is happening or they fight over who is going to sit where (not that they are actually going to stay seated in that spot). They race to dinner. They do gymnastics on the furniture during school. They slide down the stairs on pillows. And when you do make them sit still, they wiggle…from head to toe in little jerky movements…that almost look painful. But, sitting still IS something we are working on…forever.
#3 – Boys need to be outside.
Or maybe mamas need boys to be outside. All that noise and motion can only last so long inside the house before the commotion starts to wear on a mama’s brain. We throw them outside to give them room to run. We throw them outside so we can breathe in a tiny bit of quiet and calm. Which leads me to the next one…
#4 – Boys are dirty…all the time.
Fingernails, faces, toes, clothes…it’s all dirty. They are dirt magnets. The good thing is if you give them a few Army men and hot wheels cars, they don’t mind taking a bath. We boy moms give A LOT of baths. I’m pretty sure I am a bath-giving expert.
#5 – Boys need to feel useful.
The fastest way to motivate a boy is to tell him his work is needed, or that you couldn’t do something without him, and then you praise him big time! That’s why I gush over these boys. They thrive when they know mama needs them, even if all she needs is for them to pick up their shoes and put them in the crate…for the fifth time.
#6 – I am exhausted.
At the end of the day, I am worn out. I have been raising a pack of monkeys all day long, and there isn’t much of me left. I enjoy my sleep more than I ever have before. And please forgive me if I don’t feel like taking the monkeys on an outing. My everyday life is enough to exhaust me, so it will be a rare occasion when I purposely add more to my day. (Of course, this comes not only from having boys, but from having a lot of littles as I mentioned in this post.)
#7 – I am laid back to the point you might think I’m not paying attention…but I am.
The truth is I am so over being frazzled. These boys do things every second of the day that would unravel the normal mama, but we boy moms have learned to differentiate between real hurt and the everyday-run-of-the-mill hurt.
#8 – You will hear me say bizarre things.
“Don’t put your brother’s sword down the toilet!”
“Give the handcuffs back to your brother!”
“Don’t sit on your baby sister!”
These are normal every day occurrences. They roll off my tongue like poetry. In any given day, I will say the word “boys” (said more like, “BOYS!!!”) approximately 267 times. And yes, they are a collective. Where there is one, there is sure to be more.
#9 – These boys are good to their mama.
They rub my feet. They scratch my back. They bring me dandelions and acorns. They smile at me and melt my little heart. They are a blessing to me beyond what words can express. Even the 17 year old “little boy” (who happens to tower over me at 6’4″) is worth his weight in gold. I see the fruit of all these years of raising little boys in him. He’s my right arm, my handyman, my friend.
My boys make me laugh, and yes, sometimes they make me cry, but they always make me thank the Lord for the opportunity to raise them for Him.
And folks, I wouldn’t trade that for a whole wagon-load of mud pies.
Here are a few other posts on boys you might enjoy. Some are a blast from the past when I had even less boys than I do now!
Boys & Their Attitudes – What’s a Mom to Do?
Nurturing the Mother-Son Relationship
Raising a Manly Men in the City
Jodie says
“Don’t come inside with your boots on!….oh, a dandelion, thank you.”
“SSShhhh, Michael’s sleeping.”
“Are we supposed to run in the house???!!!”
“Take that rough-housing outside.”
“Bring those big boy muscles over here and move this.”
I hear you Mama – raising 5 boys out of 9. The noise is sometimes plain overwhelming… but I love them to bits!
Tara H says
I absolutely love this! Number 5 is my favorite!
Tara H says
I should have added that I have 5 boys, no girls. 🙂
Brittni says
Yes. Sooo true. And many moms of girls just don’t get it. Plus, many people don’t grasp that #5 is THE. MOST. IMPORTANT. Give a boy a job where he feels needed and he will be the best behaved kid on the block.
Coby says
This certainly made me laugh out loud, and truly ministered to me! I have three boys, two of them twins. And my house is SO. LOUD. And their noises- half the time I’m super thankful for their zooming-laser-helicopter noises, and the other half…not so much! I sometimes wonder, “Is this normal?” So THANK YOU for this post! 🙂
Rebecca says
Oh so true!!! We’re raising 7 boys out of 9. Our first girl was #6.
Number 7 – others thinking I’m not paying attention – Even my older boys think I’m not paying attention to the little ones some times. Ha – I learned LONG ago to always have an ear on things and usually an eye and what is important to deal with and what to let go.
And #8. I should be keeping a list of the crazy things that I’m required to say as a boy’s mom!
So crazy, so exhausting but the dandelions and snuggles and “just one more hug, mom” more than make up for it.
Sheila Mom to Seven says
Is there a way to subscribe to Ty’s blog? I didn’t see it. GOOD stuff 🙂
(I’ve only got three of seven who are boys.)
Amy says
On the right hand sidebar of the blog is a subscribe button. 🙂
Melanie says
YES!! Exactly how I feel with four boys, ages 6, 4, 3 and 22 months!! Thank you for sharing! 🙂
Kelly p. says
This is a great article. I have a only child-a boy. I always wanted a boy, but was raised in a house of girls, so this experience is so different! I laughed about the constant noise because he has been making noise since he woke, and right next to me, lol. I can only imagine more than one boy is like a pack of wolf puppies, lol. I do love my boy!
Lisa says
I loved this post Amy! I have 3 boys out of our 7, and I’m so thankful for the open space here on the farm–I think if I lived in town my neighbors would hate me!
My girls join right in with the loud, but I agree it’s different.
I especially liked your point on keeping them useful and feeling needed.
Thanks for this post!
Tonya says
I have six, three boys, three girls. It can be like night and day comparing the groups. My five-year-old boy currently makes enough noise for the rest of the house put together, and he CAN’T stop wiggling. So I let him wiggle. We do reading and math with him bouncing on my lap, or jumping through obstacle courses.
The girls’ noise is more whiny/screeching, and the boy sounds are just different. Love this!
Katie says
I needed to read this right now. I only have the two boys and on little girl (who puts them in their place)
But oh yes the niose the movement. The wriggling twiddling pulling your hair kind of cuddle
I actually cried with laughter this is so true and all my friends have girls they really don’t understand !!!
Whtney says
I have five girls!! To be totally honest though, I have heard all of this numerous times. However, I have a hard time not arguing that…. My girls are ROuGH for little girls. The other day my two year old went to bed with a toad and two little green lizards. My three year old put a goat in a head lock for jumping up on her…. They are dirty alllll the time! Lol. I know boys are different…. But I swear they can’t be any worse than my three year old little girl!!! Lol. I do pray that one day I will know the joy of raising a little boy. <3
Melissa says
I have a household of girls and I have to tell you that your post described my home as well. I guess without doing the same thing with a house full of boys it’s not fair for me to say it’s the same, but I certainly do not have a bunch of princesses…dirt, noise, rough housing, odd things I have to tell them not to do…maybe we aren’t typical girls. I certainly believe boys and girls are created unique, but so is each individual boy and girl. I often think it is a combination of their personality and so many so young (8 under 11). But what do I know…I only have one boy who just turned 1. I do wish it wasn’t assumed that girls weren’t difficult in the same way boys are, at least for some of us…sometimes they are. Perhaps we could all be more understanding of each other.
Amy says
I don’t assume girls aren’t difficult. I’ve raised groups of both, and I must say I MUCH prefer boy fights over girl fights! But, there is just something very different about the two groups. As another reader said, it might be the physically exhausting versus the mentally exhausting. It seems girls are more prone to tattling and fussing and crying; whereas boys are more prone to wrestling and pummeling anything in their path. And I didn’t really notice the difference until I had 4 boys close in age.
Elliot says
I agree. Having been around mostly families with girls, they are loud, always in the dirt or climbing or falling off something, roughhousing, running around… Obviously every child is unique, but I suspect that parental expectations and environment might contribute a lot to some of the “gender differences” people are noticing, more so than biology.
Jackie says
I too am a mom of an only child which happens to be a boy. This post is DEFINITELY spot on!! It is constant noise, running, and any other kind of activity you can think of!! I have found myself saying many things such as, “Don’t stick that in your ear!”, No, that does NOT go up your nose.” “No, we do not talk about bodily functions at the dinner table.” Do you HAVE to run everywhere?” This is my new one now, “WALK!” But, in all honesty, I would not have it any other way!!!
Josi says
We just kept upgrading the shovels over the years! My son LOVED to dig and it provided hours of outside satisfaction for him, a respite for me, and an opportunity to surrender to the idea of having my yard “just so” during those young growing up years. My favorite was when he and my nephew got the idea to make a pool. I think they dug all the way down to the foundation of the garage! But, be encouraged moms of little boys, my grass grew back in that spot and my son is now 18, doing school and working. Yep, a contractor pays him to use a shovel! 🙂
Amy says
Ha!
Tina says
Just knowing you get my life raising 8 boys is salve to my soul, Amy! :). We boy moms HAVE to stick together! Love and miss you!
Mitzi says
Wow this is so true! Thanks for sharing 😉 was just wondering what would happen to boys if they are being suppressed or inhibited to just be boys?
Gwen says
I only have one boy (and three girls), but I can definitely relate to this! Like your new blog design, by the way 🙂
Amy says
Thank you! It is a work in progress (and of course, there are hiccups along the way), but I’m very pleased with how it’s coming. Makes me smile. 🙂
Alicia says
I gotta say, 2 boys & 3 girls here, this list sounds like ALL of our kids…boys & girls! I guess every family is different!
Keithann says
I can definitely relate!! I’m raising five boys from 16 all the way down to 1 with a 4 year old little lady stuck in there amongst the chaos. So my days are almost identical to yours….but I wouldn’t trade it for anything! Boys are a wonderful blessing (or so I say on my good days!). I loved your honesty!
Megan says
Number 8 is my favorite only because I’m always saying crazy things. Like just yesterday my youngest son flushed his pacifier down the toilet and I was like don’t flush that and before I knew it. It was gone. I have 2 boys and they fight over everything! But I wouldn’t trade them for anything they are by far the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I love being a boy mom.
Melissa says
Haha love this post. I have 3 boys and 1 girl. Only a boy mom can understand all the sound effects you have to create to keep their attention during a story. Or the creativity needed to explain math. But their isn’t words to describe a momma-son love. God is good
ann pipa says
Yes! You are spot on! Your post made me laugh in the truth of it all.
Adina @royal blessigs says
This was so interesting to me 🙂 I only have all girls…5 of them so raising boys is completely foreign to me lol. But I thoroughly enjoyed reading this. Thanks!!
Heidi says
As a mom of 6 sons (ages 14-27), I enjoyed reminiscing over those crazy years. Just wanted to say, don’t be weary in well doing, mamas. Those little noisy dirt magnets will rise up and call you blessed someday. My adult sons are amazing men and give me hope for the younger ones. Oh, and my three grown daughters are some of my best friends.
Amy says
I love how God gives us the grace to get through it at the time and the insight to remember it fondly when we are beyond those years! (and I fixed the ??? for you – not sure why that happened.)
Amy says
A friend sent this to me after a discussion about boys. After 6 yrs of infertility and prayer God blessed us with a son. Even though my son is only 10 months old the difference between he and our daughter are remarkable!
I try to explain the differences to friends with only girls and I find it hard. Now I’ll just send them your post…lol.
I thank God for gifting me with a daughter and a son which has enabled me to see the beauty of His design and appreciate the differences and their purpose. Thank you for this post.
Heather says
Thank you for this! I am getting ready to have my 3rd boy, and they have 1 big sister. I am working to prepare myself for the chaos of the future, but those little boy hugs and snuggles are so worth it.
Carla Nagel says
I just read a post on Facebook of a mom. “When you have boys, someone is ALWAYS naked. Please tell me this is normal.”
Ha! I love it!
Nicky says
I have 5 boys & there is constantly some kind of noise, they make noise from things that I didn’t even know made noise. They r filthy dirty revolting creatures.
I love being a mama to boys
Karen says
I didn’t see any mention of things broken or holes in the wall. I grew up with four brothers and every day my father would come home from work and say “What did THEY break today?
DANIELLE from Indiana says
So true!! I have eight children, five of them boys. Their ages are 15, 12, 10, almost 6, and 3. My oldest son is just as you describe yours; my right hand and friend. The girls are 7, 5, and 1. (We adopted our six and seven year olds from foster care.) Life is busy, I’m going to read your most recent post next. I’ve been looking forward to life getting easier for the last five years and it doesn’t seem to happen. Thanks for your encouraging blog!
Diana says
Amy, I absolutely LOVED this post!! It is so true! We have three boys (one girl) at the moment, and every single one of your boy points is true of me and of our household and our boys. And it is true that moms who have only girls often can’t comprehend a boy household. I have several friends who have only girls, and their homes and their basic outlook on life are SO incredibly different from boy mamas and boy households. I know that my own mom (who had only one child, me!) is absolutely bewildered by our household. It’s just so noisy and active, whereas my childhood home was almost completely silent and always orderly.
Thank you so much for this post!!
Diana
Amy says
You are welcome! And I had the same experience growing up. I was basically raised as an only child since my older siblings were so much older than me and out of the house by the time I came along. It was always quiet!
shari says
I am 53, homeschooling my son who will be 9 soon. I relate to your exhausted. Thanks for sharing. I feel more normal now 🙂
Jodie says
I am raising three boys and this is SPOT ON!!!!! Love being a boy mom!
Sam says
Parents are projecting their thoughts and expectations onto children it would seem.
Many girls I know are your points #1-6, & 9 with no problems.
I had to buy an indoor sports trampoline for my daughter to bounce on whilst watching tv as she has so much energy and can’t sit still for a minute.
The rest of those girls who aren’t your points above have parents who spend forever telling their girls to be ladylike and behave and be quiet. They never give their girls a chance to be a child and yet their sons can play like a child should. Because ‘boys will be boys’.
Your projecting stereotypes onto children does no one any favours. Especially not girls.
I really need to avoid articles like this in the future and hopefully by the time my daughters are grown up they won’t have to put up with articles like this in their lifetime.
Reggie says
Umm…I don’t think she ever said anywhere that girls were never this way. Having raised several daughters, two of whom were highly active and quite tomboyish, there is still a distinct difference between the energy of a boy and that of a girl. If you’ve ever raised several of either gender it is very noticeable. And while I am all for a girl being highly energetic and doing a boy or man’s job if necessary or desired, I also believe that if she wants to be treated like a lady, then she needs to be taught how to be a lady.
Reggie says
Oh, man! I laughed so hard I started crying at this post! Growing up, I babysat mostly boys and I just loved ’em! I loved their energy, their charm and their simple logic that anything was possible until it failed exactly 1,546 times. I always thought I’d have a houseful of them but God thought otherwise. He gave me five beautiful daughters and just when my husband and I thought that was that, He had the last laugh and threw one boy in the mix. My hearing is gone, diaper changing has become an Olympic event and we’re just 10 months in! Every time I pick him up I thank God for the opportunity to experience a whole new level of joy that is unique to boys alone… and then I praise Him profusely for the forethought of 5 girls to help reign him in!!! Thanks for the post, Amy!
Jaminthia says
Thank you for that. We have three girls and only one boy.
To say it’s been differnt would be a understatement.
He is always, always moving, he was jumping on one foot while waiting for his oatmeal this morning- oh that was his second breakfast!
He is the youngest and my best helper.
All my littles, are very little. He has the biggest heart and is a grateful kid. We are blessed.
Thank you for your insight.
Eva North says
God afternoon, I also have three girls, one boy,2 of the girls are 6-7yrs older than him and my youngest girl is only 1 1/2yrs younger than my boy. And I agree, very different, as a toddler, he was a great little dad, and now as a preteen/teen, oh my word, I can’t get him to do anything unless I’m on him seven ways from Sunday or it benefits him….
Marianne says
AMEN!