We are working toward the goal of our children becoming godly men and women. That doesn’t mean, however, that all our lives or all their young lives are only good for building the future. That is, we want them to be godly boys and godly girls, not boys and girls in training who are merely waiting to be godly adults. This has a profound impact on how we see them in relationship to the church.
We are one church when we meet for Lord’s Day worship, not an adult’s church and a children’s church. And so we ought to go together as families into the corporate worship of Christ. As we do this it is not as training for our children’s future, but as obedience in our children’s present.
~from Tending Your Garden by Denise Sproul
We are a family. Every day. All day long. Sunday is no exception.
Yes, there have been seasons when it seems I spent more time standing at the back of the church working on obedience issues than I spent actually sitting down listening to a full sermon, but church isn’t about what I get out of it. It’s about what I put into it. It is corporate worship of the Body of Christ. Corporate…as in everyone…as in my entire family.
I’m there to glorify and honor Christ. My children are there for the same purpose.
This coming back to a belief in family integrated worship is the reason for so many family integrated churches popping up here and there. Traditional church seems to frown on the bucking of their system; the system that separates families.
However, this wasn’t always the way things were. The church Christ established wasn’t a church of separations by age. It was ONE BODY…children included.
This weekend, I will be spending time at a retreat where the children outnumber the parents 6 to 1. On Sunday, we will all be in church. Together.
To some this would just be distracting noise. To the Lord, it is a joyful noise.
Let the little children come…
Celee says
I need to blog about this again, too. My Baby Lu (almost 19 mos.) now has been doing great in church. It did take training her, but she’s more teachable than I would have imagined. It is such a blessing to sit in church together as a family, well, minus my husband who’s preaching. I’ve had a few friends criticize me sharply for this. They think it’s selfish to have my little ones with me. They think that even if they behave, the little ones will be a distraction. I do sit at the back, just in case I have to make a quick exit and also so my little ones won’t be a potential hindrance to anyone’s worship. It isn’t just about training them for the future, it is about now and their worshiping the Lord rather than playing for another hour in the week with a bunch of kids. There’s nothing wrong with playing, I just don’t want them to associate church with play or “free” time. My 10 yr old son’s friend visits with us occasionaly and has remarked on how boring our church is- his has a big video game station where the kids play video games. Kind of sad, I think. My kids certainly don’t behave perfectly, but they understand what we’re there for and try to participate as much as they are able to. I agree that worshiping the Lord now is what it’s all about.
.-= Celee´s last blog ..The best pizza ever… in my humble opinion. =-.
Mama Mirage says
Video game station in Church!? Oh wow that IS sad! Is it any wonder that sooo many youth stop going to church as soon as they are old enough to defy their parents on the subject? 🙁
.-= Mama Mirage´s last blog ..Feel-Good Theology =-.
Kari says
Amy, this really resonated with me! At our church for one of the masses they have a childrens bible school and toddler time where the parents can go to mass and not be “interrupted” by their children. This makes me so sad! These kids need to be in church. How can they learn to behave and participate in the worshiping if they are not there!?!?! Our kids are always in church with us (well almost always) and while it’s not always easy and while I sometimes end up in tears b/c they have been so bad, I will continue to take them and train them in how to go to church! I won’t let someone else do my job with my children! I hope you have a great Sunday and a wonderful Mother’s Day!
.-= Kari´s last blog ..My First REALLY Successful CVS Shop =-.
Betty says
We haven’t been to “church” since the first weekend of October. We have had family worship times each Sunday though. Our children have gained a lot of scripture meaning and memory that they had not been able to achieve in the now considered traditional setting.
Honestly it seems that Church has become the cookie cutter style that public schools are. It is a sad in many respects.
Debbie says
I agree with you completely!!! Training for Sunday mornings begins throughout the week. We have family worship twice a day and I spend lots of time just reading to the children, so they are ready on Sunday morning. It is not always perfect. There are some Sunday’s in which I wonder if I can actually hear a message. Then I have to remember that I am married to the pastor and I can always hear a recap of the sermon later. These are also training years which are important and the most important thing at the moment is to deal with the discipline issue. This has been a hard lesson that I have been in the process of learning over the past 4 years. Things just go smoothly when I take the time to lovingly guide my children in worship.
.-= Debbie´s last blog ..Guest Post From Sandy Hall: A Mother’s Hands =-.
Jenn says
We also enjoy family worship with our little ones! While it can be a lot of work, it is also so precious to see them learning to worship our Savior and enjoy the gathering of the Saints!
They worship with us during the 1st hour preaching service each week and then we all enjoy going to our own “classes” 2nd hour where we can receive age-geared, or stage-of-life geared instruction. What a blessing to have both opportunities each week!
Karen says
Amy, I hope you had a great time at the momys retreat! Our church denomination practices integrated worship. Children are not only encouraged to stay with their parents, it is expected. There are no planned activities during the service for children. There is usually a room provided if you have a fussy baby or chatty toddler, but on the whole the children stay in the service. I love that. I love that the church sees children as an important part of its congregation.
.-= Karen´s last blog ..Marathon Man! =-.
Sarah says
Amy, thanks so much for posting this! I’ve really enjoyed following you because you seem to be the kind of person I aspire to become. My husband and I only have one daughter right now (who’s 20 months) and I’m trying to finish my undergrad in a one more year. My church has many young mothers who keep their wee ones with them, but the older they get, the less they stay in the service. I can understand the desire to give the children something to do that doesn’t “interrupt or distract” during the service, but I’ve been struggling trying to decide what I want to do and where I fit in this church.
The phrase you said, “Church is not about what I get out of it. It’s about what I put in it.” really struck a cord in my heart. It’s really not about “how is the church feeding me?” because I’m old enough to feed myself. We should focus on what we can be doing to serve the kingdom.
Thanks so much!!
Amy says
It is very hard to go against the flow in your own church, but the “best” thing is always worth doing! I do believe we should find edification through study of the Bible and spending time with godly adults, but the actual “worship” service, is really all about worship…something the entire family should be doing. Many blessings to you and your family!
Anita says
Thankyou Amy, this is really encouraging. You speak into my life in so many precious ways!
Genna says
I think it’s a wonderful blessing to have all ages of a family in worship. My oldest is 4 and knows how to behave. When the children are dismissed for children’s church, he stays put. He has never asked why he doesn’t go, but if anyone ever asks him, he replies “I’m too big.” (ages are for 4-7) ha ha. I think that’s cute coming from him. My son behaves better in church than a lot of older children. I might add too, that I play the piano and my husband runs the sound board in the back. I have asked another lady to sit with my son until I am done at the piano. We are beginning to let him sit by himself on ocassion without an adult right beside him. He knows to sit where I can see him from the piano just in case I have to give him the “motherly look.” You know..the one where “wait untl we get home and you know what’s coming” look. We do use the nursery with our baby sometimes. She is 11 months and still breastfed, and because of our roles in worship, sometimes it helps to have the nursery for her. My husband and I see the importance of including the children early though. It already pays off even at 4 years old. If we had just now begun to include my son in worhsip, I can’t imagine what it would be like. I imagine he would be bored and not like church. Instead, it’s never been an issue because it’s all he’s known and he knows what we expect from him. He even comments on what the preacher says sometimes. He is listening and understanding a lot more than what adults give children credit for.
Nicole says
I’m re reading this post today and it speaks perfectly to me. I try so hard to get my young ones to sit still during mass (all 4 and under) but it seems like all it takes is another family with kids to sit beside us and my kids just want to play and talk with the other kids! Then I’m the parent who is hushing my kids like a lunatic…..sigh.
Amy says
I understand! So many factors…just keep the thought of “worship” front and center…God will honor that!
Emily Spencer says
I know this is an older post, but really resonated with me today. My husband and I have been prayerfully looking for a church home. We visited one church about 2 months ago with our then 4 month old daughter. The first thing we were shown was the nursery and asked if we were excited about a break. I could not imagine why these people I’d never met (yes, church people, but still complete strangers!) expected that I would leave my daughter with them AND be excited about it. My husband, such a wonderful man and great leader, immediately led us back out the door. He (and I) knew immediately that we cannot be a part of a church where we were expected to hand over our child on our first visit! If you think about us this week, say a prayer for us. We are still looking for a church home.