My wonderfully hilarious friend, Nony, is back again guest posting here on Raising Arrows with some encouragement for those of you who are struggling with keeping a neat and tidy home. I asked her to include a lot of links to her own blog, A Slob Comes Clean, so you can really dig deep into the baby steps she is taking to “deslob.” It is my prayer you will find hope and encouragement in her journey, as well as find ways to apply it to your own life!
I’m a slob. I’ve been a slob all of my life. When I was a teenager, and even as a college student, I laughed along with the friends who teased me about it. But when I became a mom . . . a full-time stay-at-home mom, and my slob-problem didn’t magically disappear like I had always assumed it would . . . it became a source of shame.
Give me a big project or an event to organize, and I’m in my element. But ring my doorbell without 48 hours notice . . . and I get heart palpitations.
I was completely baffled over how to keep my home from spiraling out of control. I’d try to change, but as soon as life happened (which it tends to do quite often), I’d suddenly look up to see clutter everywhere and with no idea when I last cleaned the toilets.
Two years ago, without telling anyone, I started a blog called A Slob Comes Clean. I was desperate to figure out why I am this way, and I had to find a way to keep my focus. It was my place to share my struggles with total honesty.
I didn’t realize in the beginning, but that’s what my deslobification journey has been about.
Honesty with myself. I have an amazing ability to come up with some doozies of excuses. Early on, though, I realized that my process had to not focus on the excuses themselves, but on the fact that they were . . . excuses. I wanted a clean house. Not the justification for a messy one. Excuses weren’t getting me anywhere.
Honesty with my family. Ironically, I think I grasped this concept because I didn’t tell them about my blog at first. I didn’t hold a family meeting and declare that everything was going to change around here . . . once and for all! I just started making changes, taking on all of the responsibility that truly did fall to me as the mother. The full-time home manager. I waited until the changes in our home began to speak for themselves before I spoke. Then, when I did speak, my words were true.
Honesty with the world. This was the hardest of all. The state of my home was my greatest source of shame and it kept me from being the real me. I couldn’t be hospitable, spontaneous, creative . . . anything that required a place to sit down or a place to work. I blogged anonymously, petrified that someone would find out my deep dark secret. It was almost a year before I shared with any but my closest friends and family.
I’ve been surprised at the effects of my ever-increasing honesty.
Being honest with myself has resulted in real change. By laying it all out, I was finally able to come up with ways to keep my house under control. Not allowing myself to pretend that I was someone I was not, or had time that didn’t actually exist, allowed me to part with truckloads of craft supplies, too-small clothes, and baking items that would be the envy of Paris chefs.
Being honest with my family allowed me to experience their love and support . . . and help. As long as I lived in denial about how bad my slob-problem was, I couldn’t experience their cheers, their willingness to pitch in, and their acceptance.
Being honest with the world has been the hardest, but perhaps the most rewarding. Turns out, most people aren’t perfect. And most people don’t like perfect people. I’ve been amazed (over and over) at how many people relate to my struggles. As I learned I was not alone, others have expressed relief to know that they were not alone. And even though it’s something I’m still working toward, bringing the put-together-in-public-who-would-guess-that-she’s-a-slob me and the I-have-struggles-but-so-does-everyone-else-so-let’s-support-each-other-as-we-work-to-change me together into the same person . . . is a relief.
Nony shares (with complete honesty) her personal deslobification journey at A Slob Comes Clean. She is a full-time mother of three who strives to make her home a reflection of herself and her family. Getting rid all of the stuff that they don’t need makes that much easier. Check out the methods she has developed to keep her home in order that work for her unique slob brain.