Sleepy morning siblings
If you are a regular reader of Raising Arrows {or if you know me in real life}, you are quite aware that breakfast is not my gig. My childhood was filled with hot breakfasts of my choice. I didn’t carry on my mother’s tradition, more than likely because night owls don’t like mornings. As a result, my children do not do mornings either.
From 8:30 until 10:00, they one by one do their morning chores, stagger into the kitchen to find their own breakfasts, and then start in on weekly chores. Somewhere in there, I squeeze in coffee with my oldest daughter and my own breakfast.
This is the only meal of the day that is not eaten together. This has caused a few consequences, but none that really bothered me enough to change things…until now. Herein lies the realization I spoke of earlier in this post:
Each time a new child straggles into the kitchen and prepares something to eat, Micah is right there. He begs, he cries, he screams, he tries to steal what they have. This goes on for 2 solid hours.
Part of me wanted to believe the answer was to train this out of him. However, the real issue isn’t Micah fussing over food. It’s me not starting the day off on the right foot with ALL the children. I just don’t want to get up. I just don’t want to be awake enough to cook breakfast. Yet, day in and day out I reap the punishment of…
dare I say it?
a lack of discipline.
EEK!
Interestingly enough, I typed the first few paragraphs of this post over 2 months ago! I then tucked it away in my drafts folder and waited until I had some time to really mull over my words. However, instead of just mulling them over, I actually did something about it.
I drug myself out of bed and then drug the children out of bed about half an hour later. I cooked breakfast (or at least laid it out neatly on the table). I called them all to eat at the same time (with my handy, dandy dinner bell). And went from stressed to blessed!
It is absolutely AMAZING how being the first one up can create such peace in a home. I used to scoff at the Proverbs 31 woman getting up in the dark of the early morning hours to cook. Surely God didn’t expect that from me! After all, He was the one who created me with the propensity to stay up late…right?
Here’s where things can get ugly.
So many times we make excuses based on our tendencies. “Well, it’s just who I am” or “God made me this way.” However, IF we were expected to just wallow in our inadequacies, why in the world would one of the fruits of the Spirit be
SELF-CONTROL
So, I sucked it up and got up. It was hard at first, but God is faithful! The mornings stopped feeling like chaos and getting up earlier allowed for all sorts of other things to come under a more disciplined umbrella…
*My desire to have set blogging/internet hours found their place during this time.
*Everyone, including me, got a healthier breakfast and start to the day.
*Micah quit screaming his head off.
*Chores got off to an earlier start, thus getting school off to an earlier start, thus making way for the afternoon rest time we all used to enjoy (especially the mommy!)
*And best of all, a window of opportunity to start my day in the Word!
God gave me 24 hours. If it doesn’t feel like it’s enough, it’s my fault. I’ve either overextended myself or I’ve squandered it.
And quickly here, let’s squash the negative connotation the word discipline has. Living a disciplined life doesn’t necessarily mean you give up all the fun things in life. Quite the opposite in fact.
I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.
John 10:10b
In this passage, Christ is talking about being the Good Shepherd. He talks of being the door to the pasture…a place of rest and comfort. Having raised sheep once upon a time, I know just how fickle sheep can be. As my husband so fondly recalls,
Sheep are just looking for a way to die.
Yet, Jesus faithfully and patiently guides us, despite our “natural tendencies” to go astray. And as humans, not just mere sheep, we are expected to exhibit self-control. In essence, we are to live a disciplined life. If this were somehow not in our best interests, God wouldn’t have put so many verses about the matter in His Word.
So, that’s where I am at. Striving to live a more disciplined life.
How about you? Do you feel like you lack discipline? What areas are the hardest for you to bring under control? How is God working in your life to overcome these obstacles?
Difficult Words Series:
Self Denial
Obedience
Diligence
Discipline – this post
Contentment
Hannah says
Thank you! I needed that.
Jenny says
LOL… I actually got up for an early morning snack, thought I’d read a little online while I ate it, and then I planned to go back to bed. It’s 5:45 in the morning after all. But there is a heaping pile of dishes in the sink just waiting to ruin my day (it’s hard to really take care of my one-year-old while I do dishes). It’s not a good idea to leave an involved chore like that to do while my girls are up and want to play. So I think I’ll go do them now and maybe we’ll catch a nap this afternoon. Thanks!
Clara says
I know exactly what you mean… And I heard something recently that I find to be really true – an hour of work in the morning is worth two hours later in the day – it seems like a lot more can be acheived in the early hours of the day! I really LOVE the idea of getting up early and getting things done or getting some online time in before the rest of the family rises (and I have done so in some periods of my life), but since getting Chronic Fatigue Syndrome 2.5 years ago, I sleep so solidly I don’t even hear my husband’s alarm in the mornings often, let alone getting up earlier than everyone! My body just needs sleep too much, most of the time it’s hard to drag myself out of bed 🙁 I would love to get up early again – maybe I will get over this one day and be able to do that!
Jennifer says
I read the title of your post and thought, “This is going to be a great post about disciplining children … just what I need!” And then the Lord used you to speak to my heart and give me the solution to a problem we too have been having at our house that is mainly the result of my own lack of discipline. Thank you Amy!
Jenn says
I am right with the previous poster who said she thought this was going to be a post about disciplining our kids… and then finding out that the Lord has something to say to ME. Thanks for being willing to speak candidly about these types of issues in your own life Amy. I want to change in this way. My biggest problem with it I guess is just that I keep procrastinating about it and not actually just starting to DO IT.
Annie @ Beauty in the Surrender says
I struggle in the same area. I was an early bird turned night owl after my third child was born. What used to be my time to read the Word and pray gave way to the urge to fall right back asleep especially if the baby had been up a lot the previous night. I noticed a significant difference in my day when I wasn’t giving the Lord my firstfruits as opposed to when I would rise early enough before the children and hand my day over my heavenly Father.
I love what you said about there being 24 hours in a day and if doesn’t feel like enough then that’s my fault- Amen!
Twila says
I to struggle with getting up early enough. And then once I’m up I’ve gotten in the habit of checking my google reader and e-mail, thus not always taking the time to spend in the Word and pray. I’ve been convicted about it and it’s something I need and want to change. I either need to get up earlier or be more disciplined with computer time. With God’s help I want to change!
wanda H says
Great article Amy and very true 🙂
Erin says
GREAT post, Amy! Such true words. I am glad your mornings are running smoother now!
Jessica says
The best thing ever invented was the coffee maker you can prepare the night before and set it to start at your desired time in the morning. My husband thinks it’s hilarious how slow I start the day off, mentally and physically. I would liken it to swimming in honey. S.L.O.W. I need the caffeine jolt first thing without having to think about how to work the (seemingly) complicated machine that is our coffee maker.
Laura says
This is absolutely true.
I am also a huge night owl, but earlier this year I started getting up earlier and I found that I was more patient with my children and also just felt more “together”, in general, during the day.
During the summer I let my getting up early habit slide and just started back this Monday (since we started the new school year this week) and there’s already a huge difference in my productivity!
It’s been difficult getting back into a routine of getting up early, but it’s definitely worth it!
Lauree says
Wow! I needed this. Mornings are the worst time for me. I try not to stay up late, but I wake up alot therefore making me so tired in the mornings. Our lives are so much better when I get up before everyone and have my coffee and devotion time before everyone gets up. This hardly ever happens. I’m also apparently not a breakfast-cooker. I make out menus but then I get up late, groggy, etc. I REALLY must set my alarm and then actually get up when it goes off. Setting it is the easy part…
GraceWheeler says
I just wrote something along these lines (different subject though) for At the Well…
This is a really challanging post for me–I love to sleep in and I love my excuses (seems like I can always use the cop-out that I’m pregnant or that I’ve been up nursing all night!)
I’m sure our house would be more peaceful and well-ordered in the mornings once something like your describing is put into place!
So inspiring Amy! Thanks for this!
(and I just posted my “half my stuff” post on my blog! check it out, though i don’t have many pics, my camera broke an i lost my before/after pics 🙁 )
Kate says
Umm, yes, I lack discipline! lol.
Everyday I see tons of things I “should” do to keep my home happy and on track and then…I don’t. I have a million excuses for it, too. You know…”but I have so much to do with the laundry/cooking/blogging/canning…!” Ha. I need to get on it though, because I see how it is affecting the children. They’re “fine” but it could be a lot better. As usual, I am only human!
sara says
I have noticed how i let myself slip in the holidays with no early mornings and later bedtimes. My house is becoming full of tired, fretful children. I needed to read this today, thank you xxx
Karen says
Your post really challenged me Amy, as always. Thank you. I’m going to have to mull over your words and put them into action. I am so bad at getting up in the mornings, but when I do get up before the children I am so much more organised and relaxed. I have to make that the norm, not the unusual.
Jessica says
I was convicted by the Proverbs 31 verse a few years ago. I am NOT a morning person by nature. At the time I wasn’t homeschooling and I often grabbed a donut or pop tart for my son at the gas station on the way to school.
Once I started gettin up earlier and cooking a hot breakfast I found those early morning times to be my favorite. We had a peaceful breakfast together and really had time to talk and connect before school. Not rushing around at the last minute trying to get everything together was great. When we switched to homeschooling we continued with our breakfast mom/son time and it is just such a special time.
PS – I’m a new follower.
Amy says
It is so much easier to just settle into what we do naturally, but you are so right…things are much calmer when I get up and start my day on my terms rather than someone else’s (as in the children waking me b/c they are starving! lol) Thanks for following! 🙂
Abigail says
Thanks for sharing!
Andrea says
Oh goodness..I tried to get up early this morning. I had my alarm set for 5..then baby woke to nurse around 430..I had fallen back asleep till 630!! Thats when my dd wakes up. Sigh..I NEED to get up before the children….I’m going to try again tomorrow!!!
Ashley says
BTDT – it took 6yrs for me to finally submit to getting up before the dc. 😛 I’m glad I do, now.
Some things just take a while for us to surrender to, don’t they?
God bless! Great post! 🙂
Amy says
It is so hard when you are so tired, but it just isn’t very pleasant to wake up to children who are hungry and need a million things that you can’t even wrap your brain around in your sleepy stupor! 🙂
Alice says
Wow, I can’t tell you how much I needed to read this! I am a night owl, pregnant and nursing at night (or just nursing at night) permanently these last 5 years, and REALLY REALLY bad at getting up in the mornings! I also am very poor at anything to do with self control. It’s probably my biggest weakness.
Right now my DH is out of work and has been for months. He IS a morning person, and gets up with the little ones at 6am when they wake. I am blessed with the luxury of lying-in until much later in the morning, but I know that it is not the right thing for the family that I do! I need to change it, but I still haven’t. I can’t fathom getting up before the children, especially when my nights are broken and I am pregnant and tired! Your post is such an inspiration to me – one of several different kinds of inspiration lately, so I am quite sure that God is pressing me on this issue.
I hope when I do try to change things that it works as well for me as it has for you! 🙂 Thanks so much for this post!
Amy says
I must admit, Alice, I am worried about what will happen when baby comes, but all through God’s grace I am praying I will be able to continue! 🙂
Deanna says
Not something I want to hear for sure! I am the same way, not a morning person at all. and our days go much the same, with the kids doing thier own breakfast. But I too have felt convicted lately that I need to get up and start my day early. I have tried it once or twice, but I still have a toddler who comes to bed and nurses sometime in the early morning and that makes it hard to want to get up. that is my excuse. thanks for your candid look at discipline and spurring me toward a planned change in our morning routine.
I love your blog by the way! Real life and trying to be the woman God wants you to be! Keep it up 🙂 very inspiring!
Amy says
Thanks so much for the encouragement, Deanna!
shannon says
Ouch! Wow did I need to read this. Thank you.
Charity says
I am so glad to see that I am not alone. My mom says that I have always been a night owl. I always feel like I need that extra time at night to wind down after the kids are in bed. Then hours later, I am still awake. I have at different times gotten up early, and my days did seem to run a lot smoother. I didn’t feel so rushed as when the kids and I got up at the same time, because I had had the time to collect my thoughts and prepare myself for the day. My husband works different shifts, sometimes getting up at 2am and sometimes at 5am. Then there are the days when he is getting home from work at 5am. I know I should be up with him, even if just to see him off at 2am and then going back to bed for a few hours. God is really convicting me on this. But I need that word…. DISCIPLINE!!! I need to make myself drag out of bed to make sure his day starts out as smoothly as possible.
Thanks Amy for this post. I needed it just as much as the other ladies.
Liz C says
Ouch. Yep, I needed to read this one. I’m battling the Eternal Morning… days that just drag with nothing productive happening. I’m very grateful that my brother and sister-in-law are trying to do a very fast house move, so I have lots of good reasons to be up and moving with my work done early, so I can go help my sister! Today felt like a really good day. For me, it’s getting into the habit of these longer, productive days with a nap in the middle, and just making it routine. I’m so naturally lazy… self-discipline is the hardest, but it’s so vital! Thanks for your post.
Amy says
Wow. This is so convicting! This is wonderfully written. I love this post, as hard as it is to read. THANK YOU!!!
(Lil’ Momma from http://www.fiveintrainingforhim.blogspot.com told me I should come read this. She was right!)
Michelle says
I’ve really been enjoying your posts as I am catching up on some blog reading.
This one really describes my life right now, but it is less of a discipline problem for me. I have fibro, and I use to force myself to get up early in the morning.As a result, I would often feel dizzy, weak and battled with fatigue the whole day long. (Even when I would go to bed early and get 8 hours of sleep)
It is weird but since I started staying up later and sleeping later into the morning, Those symptoms aren’t as prevalent unless I eat something I shouldn’t. It kills me not to be up early every day and I do hope to get back to going to bed early again. What i have realized though is that I am actually getting better quality sleep than when I was going to bed early and I think that is the key!
There is nothing worse than dealing with perpetual morning sickness when you aren’t even pregnant!Lol
Amy says
Michelle,
I’m glad you’ve found something that works for you! It would be wrong of me to make a blanket statement that everyone must get up earl–exactly for the reasons you mentioned. Extenuating circumstances always change things, but in the end it is the heart of the matter that matters most. Thanks for chiming in!