I didn’t come to marriage and motherhood with a natural tenderness. I wasn’t one of those girls who loved babysitting and cooed over newborn babies. I was easily caught up in my own little world.
Tenderness toward children and spouse isn’t something easily taught. Gentleness as a woman comes from a gentle spirit. It is an outward overflowing of a peaceful woman resting in Christ. A gentle homemaker is one who exudes peace in her home, but maybe you are wondering how you will ever get to a place where your heart is peaceful enough to be seen in your every day life.
I have found there to be 2 factors in my life that determine my outward gentleness:
- My willingness to trust the Lord.
- My willingness to order my life.
Willingness to Trust God
If you are unsettled and edgy, it is often because you have not abandoned everything to the Lord. You are either trying to control things or stressing over the things you cannot control. This bleeds over into your mothering and homekeeping.
“If we have a list of priorities then we can use it as a safety net. The problem with this is that it can interfere with the work God has for you. You should not be a slave to the order of this list. Make no mistake; God is a God of order, His order, not ours.”
Amy Bayliss, Pursuit of Proverbs 31
How many times have I had a stressful situation or personal crisis that consumed me and made me a grouchy mommy? Those times have almost always been marked by a lack of trust in God’s sovereignty. I choose to try to control rather than choose to release my grip and trust that God has it in the palm of His hand.
Reckless Abandon
Trusting God in all things, especially the super stressful, feels like a deep breath. It feels like throwing your arms open wide and letting your heart, mind, and soul relax. It is beautiful!
When you have this reckless abandonment to Christ, you can face your day with a gentle spirit. Your circumstances do not consume you because you know God has every aspect of your day covered.
Willingness to Keep Order
It is impossible to have an everything-running-smoothly day every day. God has a lot for us, and in that abundance of life comes new and different opportunities. So, this section is not about how to have the perfect day, but rather how to prioritize and troubleshoot your life so you can work out kinks that are wrecking your peace.
First of all, may I suggest my ebook:
This book goes through individual parts of your day and how to find peace in them. I will also be presenting a session on this topic at the Teach Them Diligently Convention in Omaha on June 1.
What I want to do in this post; however, is give you a broader idea of where to start when it comes to being willing to keep an orderly life.
It’s About Priorities
In the above quote from Amy Bayliss, we see that we cannot be a slave to our lists, but we also shouldn’t ignore our responsibilities. We all know our weaknesses when it comes to homemaking. We know what things about being a wife and mother are the hardest for us, but the real issue is not knowing our trouble areas, but rather what we end up doing about them.
In Jenni Mullinix’s book Clean (Enough): Simple Solutions for the Overwhelmed Homemaker, she says:
“When you strive to develop a proper mindset toward your role as a homemaker, and align your attitude with the Word of God, housework can become worship.”
You have to develop a proper mindset and start working toward solving some of the homemaking issues you struggle with. I believe even the act of searching out ways to be a better homemaker, wife, and mother would be worship of our Lord. We have to be willing to order our days according to the Lord in a way that honors and glorifies Him.
Ask God to fill your heart with peace. Ask Him to bring you to a place where you hunger and thirst after Him. Ask Him to point out your trouble areas and why those things are keeping you from peace. Ask Him to be the Lord of everything in your life!
Even your homemaking.
After you finish reading this post, please take a moment to quiet your heart and give your day to the One who gave you this day. I am praying peace and gentleness for all of you today.
Renee says
sounds like a good book, thanks for sharing!
Annmarie says
This was a very timely post for me. Last night I was praying to God to give me a gentler spirit. As a loud and passionate person, I easily overwhelm the gentle side of me. And I notice how many times the Bible mentions gentleness as being a great quality! Thank you for this post, it was inspiring and just what I needed 🙂
Amy says
Passion is a great thing too if it is backed by a gentle spirit and not a spirit of angst. 🙂
Verna says
Great post!! Thank you for the encouraging words! Definitely something I needed to hear today! Thank you!
Amy says
You are welcome! 🙂
Lara says
What a great post. A complete blessing. Thank you for your words of encouragement!!.
Amy says
Thank you, Lara! Praying for a lovely day for you!
Tammy Carpenter says
I REALLY need to hear this today! Thank you!
Amy says
Oh good! Sometimes it just takes a reminder. 🙂
Valerie says
What a precious post for me Amy. And very perfectly timed for my life. Thank you so much for pouring this out on your blog, that I might read it and Breath in God’s peace for my day, as well is step up to this glorious call of homemaker, and ALL that entails. Thanks!
Amy says
Praying for a beautiful day for you, Valerie! 🙂
Liz says
Great post Amy. After taking a deep breath and committing the rest of my day to the Lord, I realised it’s not going as badly as I thought, so I can relax and enjoy Him and all He has for me today!
Amy says
Wonderful!
Jackie L. says
Is your book one of the ones bundled in the Utilmate Homemaker’s E-bundle? I couldn’t seem to find it in the list (and I purchased the E-bundle 🙂 ). Thanks! Jackie
Amy says
Yes! It is The Homemaker’s Guide to Creating the Perfect Schedule that is included and you can find it in the Time Management file. The Peaceful Home ebook is not included.
Megan says
This could not have been more timely for me! There is a huge rift in my marriage right now and I have allowed it to completely consume me and affect everything about my days this week. I’ve been impatient and cranky with my children, I’ve let housework go, and just generally been anxious all week. I just said to a friend last night “I do not know how to NOT let the problems in my marriage just consume everything about my life!”
I’ll consider this post God’s answer. 🙂 Thank you for speaking truth!
Amy says
((HUGS)) Praying for you today.
Chris G. says
Amy, the above picture of you (with Creed) is beautiful! You look so peaceful & content. Thank you for all you do.
Amy says
Awww, thank you. 🙂
Bekki says
peace and quietness. Yes, Lord!
Bless Amy with a double portion as well!
Jillian says
Wow Amy! Somehow I missed the news that you’d be speaking at the Teach Them Diligently Convention. Thats great news! Wish I could go. Why do I have to live in NY? : /
Amy says
Well, you could move. 😉 Would love to actually meet you in person!
Amy says
What a cute picture of you and your baby! Did someone make that hat for him?
Amy says
Yes, my friend Nichole of Double Stuff Crochet made it for him. https://www.facebook.com/DoubleStuffCrochet?fref=ts