When my oldest was a little boy, we would spend the day with friends and after coming home from a very full and fun day, he would promptly ask,
All I could do was stare at him in disbelief. How could he possibly want to go somewhere else? How could he be so ungrateful for the time we spent doing fun things the entire day?
But, over the years, I began to see this wasn’t a matter of being ungrateful. It was a case of what we call in our house The Let Downs.
We all have events in our lives that create memories, cause adrenaline rushes, are super fun or even super stressful that once over, cause us to feel let down. We don’t know where to go from here. We feel directionless and perhaps even a little sad.
Pregnancy and delivery feel a bit like that to me. Once it is over, even though I have this wonderful little babe in my arms, I find myself wondering, “What now?”
My husband feels like this after vacation. He throws himself into vacation, soaks up every minute of it, and once back home, he has a hard time going back to the day to day.
As adults, we know life can’t be all fun and games, but children get the “let-downs” and don’t know why or what to do about it. It’s helpful to let them know what they are feeling and what they will be doing once the big event is over so they can see that life isn’t going to just stop, but it will be different
I have to be honest with you, I’m sitting here writing this with a case of the Let Downs myself. My focus last week was the big ebook sale. I was so excited about it and it consumed a lot of energy, but that is over. Of course, I have a million and one things to do next, but I’m finding myself thinking, “What now?”
So, today I’m going to take some time to regroup. I’m going to look at these areas:
- Home
- School
- Blog
and jot down some of my thoughts, make myself a Next Thing List and get going.
So, how about you? Ever feel like you have the Let Downs? What do you do to overcome it?
Jessica says
Yes! I am having a case of the “Let Downs” myself. We had out of town company, prepared the week before they arrived, and now that they are gone we have to make ourselves get back to the daily grind. I’m looking around at the aftermath and don’t know where to start and have no “want-to” in me at all! I’m also a bit of an introvert so after having company stay I need some down time to gather my thoughts and regroup, but when I look around at all the work I have to do I just feel overwhelmed! (You know when you have company regular chores aren’t being done; we want to visit with our friends instead, which is the way it should be but also leaves that much more work for later. I didn’t do laundry for a week. Can you imagine what my closet looks like?! LOL)
Amy says
I’m like this after company too! I’m sure it does have a lot to do with being an introvert!
Jillian says
Its funny you mention this because I too always feel like this after a baby is born. That might explain why we got a Jack Russell puppy when our last was 3 months! I realize now that that was a total lapse of judgement. :/ Note to self: When the high is gone, just know that it won’t be long before things “pick up” again.
Amy says
LOL – sorry to laugh at your expense, but I can totally relate to a “lapse of judgement” of this kind!
Kate @ Modern Alternative Mama says
I prevent “the letdowns” mostly by always having a new project. They are not always major, nor always exciting. They can be long-term and involve a lot of work or patience. Right now, post-sale, I am planning our upcoming homeschool curriculum (I have a kid in K and one in pre-K this fall), cleaning out the basement so we can list our home and buy a farm (ongoing), revamping my music curriculum to sell as a homeschooling resource, and thinking about little things like this week’s laundry, grocery shopping, etc. There is always SOMETHING to do!
Plus, I look for joy in little moments. The silly things kids say or do. Dancing and singing with them. Going to a playground or for a walk. Snuggling a sweet baby (mine is 8 weeks now…already).
I guess you could call me an optimist! There is always something to be excited about, no matter how big or small!
Amy says
I think right now I have TOO many projects plus every day life. I’m a big idea person, so I have trouble breaking my ideas into doable pieces! lol Good luck with the house and getting it ready!
Lauren Mc says
Amy,
I know I have mentioned to you so many times my struggles with being a first time “homeschooling mom” and dealing with my pregnancy of my third child. Then new baby, new schedules, new attitudes, new EVERYTHING! Well, with 6 weeks left in the school system year, we ended up putting my son in public school for a few reasons. But now that I’m not homeschooling (which has been so emotional for me), I have this freed up time and I sit here wondering what project I can get done now. I’m not teaching my son school at home, now what?! I’m a scatter brain, trying to reprogram my 2 1/2 year old, waiting for my just over three month old to fall into her own schedule and way too many projects that went to the curb 10 months ago!
Your message today was right on with what is going on in my life. Every day my 2 1/2 year old is always asking if we are going on. I’m not going to say I feel bad for letting him down… I’ll say I know see where he is coming from and I need to make it a priority to make “fun” days for him while big brother is in school, and when we are all home. Thank You Amy! <3
One day at a time, one step at a time. Trying to figure out where to start! LOL
Amy says
Honestly, the “where to start” is the hardest part! Make your list and go for it!
Victoria says
Never quite thought about it like that with my kids. Thanks for the insight.
Danielle says
Very timely, on the preventative side. Right now, we are go, go, go, with a *huge* move just a couple of weeks away. I told my husband that once we finally move, I was going to crash. The kids? They, I am sure, will want to know what’s next! 🙂
Amy says
I’m sure they will! Kids are just like that. Many blessings with the move!
Susan says
Yes! My baby will be 6 moths in a few days and she is about to start crawling (bittersweet). My husband is thinking we may be done having babies 🙁 Like your title I am starting to think “Now What?”
Amy says
Frankly, I dread that day. I will have to do a total mind shift. But there are blessings in that stage of life too, we just have to be willing to look for them and see it as a new adventure, oh so different from the last one. 🙂
Stacie says
I get the Let Downs too. . .especially after Holidays. And now that you mention it, I get them after pregnancy/delivery also. Hang in there. . .this, too, shall pass.
Kyle Thomas says
I get REALLY frustrated at myself about the same thing. I have always been like this. It is like I always have to have something to look forward too. I definitely feel that way after a baby’s birth. We have 7. Right now I’m aleady scared that I’m going to feel this “down” time after we move. My husband is a minister and we are moving to the Appalachian mountains in just a few weeks. I am so excited! I will be close to my best friend and in the mountains again that I love. But,I’m already scared that once we settle in I will start feeling those blahs again. Maybe it will be time for another baby!!! LOL!!!!
Amy says
LOL – Could be! Sounds like a wonderful move!
Josi says
Oh how I can still feel the deep pit of those “now what?” feelings as a kid! The most difficult was always the post-slumber party blues, after my Mom had dropped off the last kid and then we went home to what felt like such loneliness to this extrovert! It’s no surprise that “quality time” is my number one love language. Just spend time with me…… wait, don’t leave! Ha!
P.S. I do love and appreciate my quiet, alone times as a mom 🙂
Amy says
LOL! My son is an extrovert too, so that probably explains why he wanted more and more people around. 🙂
Laure Covert says
I recently returned from a family mission trip to Guatemala during which I jabbered incessantly in Spanish and loved all the cultural things I experienced. Home again – big “let downs”! So I am a spending a little bit of time each day keeping the experience close to my heart by remembering, writing, talking to others, looking at pictures, etc. I don’t want to leave it behind too fast.
Amy says
My husband is like this too. He likes to relieve the experience in this same way so it feels like a cold turkey letting go. Sounds like you had a wonderful time!
Cindy says
Interesting….we just had family visiting over the weekend and took a day off to “get over the leaving.” We have gotten back into normal routine, and my son has the let downs. I was just talking with my husband this morning about how I’m not sure how to make his transitions more manageable for him. He has a really hard time getting back to normal, having frequent “attitude outbursts” over everyday tasks such as schoolwork. Any suggestions?
Amy says
When there is a major event like that, I have a child who reacts very similarly. I have to creep back into our routine for her sake. Also, helping them navigate what they are feeling is hugely helpful. She is now 12 and able to understand WHY she feels the way she does.