A few years ago, I began the quest for a real Sabbath rest born out of desperation…and exhaustion. I was tired of spending every Sunday in a resentful rush. I wanted a break. I wanted my Sundays to be quiet, calm, beautiful, and restful. Instead, I found myself wrangling kids, struggling to get a decent Sunday dinner on the table, and spending the entire day wondering how anyone could find rest on Sunday.
I resented all of the WORK I had to do to make Sunday restful for everyone around me and yet still could find no rest for myself on that day. I kept thinking I was doing something wrong, and if I could figure out the Sabbath formula, I could finally get it right. And so began my search for a REAL Sabbath rest.
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The first revelation came when I was studying Genesis 1 in Balancing the Sword. (This study is out of print now, but you can often find it on Amazon for a good price.) I had never noticed that in Genesis 1:5 the first day is delineated by evening and morning. This continues through Creation, and throughout the Old Testament as we notice the Jewish feasts (Sabbath included) beginning at sundown.
As I began to mull this over, I recognized how much easier Sundays would be if I had prepared all day and then went to church, rather than trying to prepare the day before. It always felt as if my day fell apart overnight, and all I had tried to do to prepare the day before was nearly undone before I ever got things up and running on Sundays.
In fact, for several years we did go to church on Sunday nights, and it was so relaxing! But, when we moved 3 years ago, we could not find anything similar to what we had enjoyed and were back to Sunday morning church again, and me feeling harried and never prepared enough.
I began scouring the internet for ways to manage Sunday so that it didn’t feel so stressful. And that’s when I ran across this little gem…
Celebrating Biblical Feasts In Your Home or Church by Martha Zimmerman
In this book, Martha Zimmerman makes the distinction between the Sabbath and the Lord’s Day.
And that was a game changer for me.
As I read, I realized I had an improper view of Sunday. Rather than seeing it as a time of worship of our Lord and Savior while fellowshipping with other believers, I had made it about me because I wanted it to be my day of rest. It wasn’t the Lord’s Day – it was MY day. And when I didn’t get the rest I thought I deserved on that day, I became resentful. I not only felt I had failed at finding a Sabbath rest, I also felt someone had failed me because here I was working myself into a frenzy keeping the kids quiet, feeding the family, and making everyone else’s day relaxing. Obviously, my expectations were skewed. Separating the Sabbath from the Lord’s Day helped me to shift my expectations.
The Sabbath didn’t change when Jesus rose from the dead. It was still on Saturday, and the Jewish Christians were still celebrating the Sabbath. But, after a day of work on Sunday, they were gathering together to worship, remember, break bread, and fellowship with other believers. They weren’t trying to combine the two days.
Our bodies need a day of rest. We need an end to our work week. We need a time to reflect on our week, give thanks to the Lord for his provisions, and find refreshment in Him. When I take this time on Saturday, it gives me the freedom to see Sunday as my day to come together with other believers and put a Christ-centered forward focus on the upcoming week. Saturday is the end. Sunday is the beginning.
So, what does our weekend currently look like?
Friday night, after the house is clean, the soup has simmered, and the bread is baked, we sit down as a family, reflect on our week, tell stories, thank the Lord for His blessings, and start our weekend. We are celebrating the end of that week. It is almost like a great big sigh.
Personally, I like it to be a day without a ton of commitments, without the usual grind of my daily life, and free from the constant forward momentum a typical day in my life holds. I do not cook on Saturdays. We have snacks for meals or graze all day or sometimes go out to eat. I also try not to do any laundry. We tidy up once or twice, but that is for my own sanity. I just can’t relax in a mess. I try to spend some time outside. I purposefully slow down and savor the Lord’s creation. I try to take notice of things I am often too busy to notice during my week.
Another thing to note is that I am not taking a break from being mom. I’m just not doing my usual mom stuff. Again it’s a break from my every day.
On Sunday, we head to church as a family. Some Sundays I end up staying home with one or two of the kids, and some Sundays I spend a lot of time in the hallway of the church dealing with a crying baby, a noisy 2 year old, or an unruly 4 year old, or all three! Because I’m not focused on Sunday being a day of rest, I can deal with all of this without feeling resentful.
We tend to snack on Sunday as well, and occasionally eat at the college cafeteria where Blake goes to school (many people from the community eat there on Sundays). This coming Sunday we will head to a pumpkin patch with friends from church, and then at night I go to a small group at the pastor’s house where we dig deeper into the sermon (which is really helpful on those Sundays when I have to stay home with the little ones). When I get home, I get the house ready for the week and work on the blog so it is also ready for the week and doesn’t need much more from me the rest of the week.
And that is my weekend.
How ever it is that you decide to use your Saturday, your Sunday, your Sabbath, I pray you too can find a REAL Sabbath rest! Feel free to share in the comments about your weekend and how you have found real rest!
Tara says
One other mindset that changed my Sundays was meditating on Romans 12:1. My husband has always worked for church in both paid and non-paid positions. I am more often than not getting the kids ready by myself and wrangling the kids in our row alone too. When I am tempted to get upset about this (most often when little ones get squirrelly and are being a distraction from the service) I repeat “this is my spiritual act of worship.” In that moment my offering of worship to God is the discipleship of my children. My ministry to the church is the enabling of my husband to do the work God has called him to. Somehow the acknowledgement that mothering in the pew is my act of worship moves me from a place of frustration to peace.
jodie says
That’s a really encouraging way of looking at it. Sort of like the “Glad Game” for mothers 🙂 I like it!
Lea says
That is beautiful.
Amy says
Beautiful, Tara! Thank you so much for sharing that!
Janet Kiessling says
Thank you so much, Amy! I so really needed this!
I am not one to purchase books at the drop of the hat, so to speak, but my mama’s heart And God is probably telling me ~ I am needing this.. We do not have any littles but lately, having 6 at home, running a homestead, keeping up with everything 🙂 ~ just seems to take control ~ and it should not! God should! 🙂
Thank you…
And Blessings to you all!
Janet
Lea says
Oh Amy this is life changing perspective!!!! Thank you for sharing!!!!
Amy says
You are welcome!
Jesse Harris says
I too have struggled in this area over the years. I grew up watching families have huge Sunday meals ready after church and felt I was a failure because it just seemed too hard. I think part of what I see is when God has blessed a family so that there is a large extended family. A Grandmother can far more easily put together a large meal than a Mama with children that need her constant care! However I’ve worked really hard to make my attitude so that as long as we have something simple to eat or occasionally a Sunday meal out it’s all ok! Our older boys know that Sunday afternoon means Mom and Dad go and watch a show and drink coffee while the little one naps. We all wind down for a few hours then meet back up and do something relaxing together. Honestly for our family it usually means Daddy cutting wood with us all around or even mowing grass while we walk and ride bikes. We have a large property and it takes a lot of upkeep. My husband feels rested if he can do this work with us enjoying ourselves outside. Until our older boys are a bit older and can join in this has become a really nice way to end the week! I do work hard Friday and Saturday to have the house clean and tidy and some food prepared. No matter what worship is a sacrifice and we must work out individually what allows our hearts and homes to be prepared! The blessings of true worship far outweigh what we put out! I used to be so sad lamenting that my family didn’t have that extended family atmosphere however I’ve decided I will do my best to recreate that for the future!
Amy says
We used to have the extended family nearby, and Sundays were a very relaxing time with us all together – usually potluck style at our house. It’s been years since we’ve been that close to our extended family, but your attitude is exactly right – bloom where you are planted, if you will. We don’t want our legacy to be that we complained about everything we didn’t have. Thank you for sharing your weekend with us!
Ticee graham says
Amy;
This is an absolute answer to prayer. I have been seeking the Lord about a Sabbath, trying this, trying that, also coming to hate Sundays as a result. It was just in the past few weeks I took a hard look at our families schedule and hit upon almost that exact schedule, similar to the Jewish one. Friday evening until Saturday evening. This was going to be my first week implementing it.
Thank you again for the confirmation!
Diana says
This is fascinating! I think I’m going to have to digest it for a few months before I can wrap my head around it!! Thank you for sharing what you’re doing for Sabbath. I think many mamas, myself included, really struggle with having a Sabbath rest. For me, Saturday has been – at least for the past few years – all about preparing for Sundays – baths, sometimes haircuts, packing for Sunday mornings, and cooking for our weekly potluck. We’re in church transition right now and are currently trying a church that meets on Saturday nights, so that has really thrown me in trying to figure out a new weekend dynamic. One way or another, it’s hard to find Sabbath!
I have found in common with your thoughts here that Sabbath (and really, any day!) is 6 pm to 6 pm, not get-up-time to bed-time. We have been practicing our Sabbath from 6 pm Saturday to 6 pm Sunday, and it’s a real blessing because a day really does begin the night before. I think that’s really the underlying philosophy behind all of the “prepare the night before” advice (laying out clothes, prepping meals, etc.).
Thanks for sharing! Wonderful food for thought!
Elaine Mingus (RadicalChristianWoman.com) says
I was literally JUST studying this same thing. What you said about separating YOUR day of rest from the Sabbath REALLY struck a chord. Thanks for that!