We’ve all done it.
It’s too noisy. It’s too wild. It’s too stressful. We need a mommy break, so we turn on the television and plop those crazy little people in front of the screen so they will be contained and occupied.
Let the big black box babysit for a while – Mommy needs to catch her breath.
We don’t like to admit it, but when the going gets tough, the television (or computer) saves the day.
Sort of…
The problem that comes from using the television as a regular babysitter is that we and our children become dependent on the feeling of being entertained. It is a fine line between a healthy use of screen time and an unhealthy use of screen time.
Certainly, there are seasons when we don’t even realize the television watching is getting out of control. We often “wake up” from those seasons, only to realize we have a lot of work to do weaning our children from the screen. However, there are many times when we want to do better with not using the television as a babysitter, but we can’t think of anything that will occupy the children and offer us the break we feel we need. So, we default to our old habits, and let them watch “one more show”.
Today, I want to offer you a few alternatives to television when Mommy needs to catch her breath. Not that I’m asking you to stop letting your kids watch television altogether, but because I know you feel guilty putting them in front of the screen as often as you do, yet you can’t think of anything quite as effective.
First of all, here’s a short YouTube video from my channel discussing how we handle television in our home. I want you to start here before we talk more in depth about ideas for keeping the children occupied without it.
The second thing I want you to do is ask yourself WHY you need a break. Make sure you aren’t running after that elusive Me Time. If you have a habit of running away from your real life, then alternatives to television aren’t what you really need. What you really need is a heart to heart with yourself and God. That’s not the focus of this post, but it had to be said before moving on.
OK, so now let’s talk about alternatives to television and screen time…
Audios
There are tons of great audios out there that require your children to use their imaginations. Some of our favorites are the Jonathan Park series and the Brinkman Adventures. Put the kids in a room with a CD player and give yourself a few moments to breathe while they enjoy some quality, brain-engaging entertainment.
Crafts
Some of you are probably thinking I’m out of my mind for suggesting crafts as something that would give mommy a break, but if you keep a craft bag with things in it that aren’t super messy (i.e. anything but glitter), then you can pull that bag out every now and then and keep the children occupied for hours on end.
Outside
Even if you have to go outside with the children, taking some time in the out-of-doors, is a great way for everyone to change up their routine and get reenergized. Have things like bubbles and chalk available for an added bonus!
Room Time
This is a concept I learned from Tricia at Hodgepodge. Not only does Room Time help to keep children occupied when you need a break, but it is a great way to teach your children to sit quietly while you do school with older kids. You can read more about this concept HERE.
Have older kids babysit
Way better than television is an older child spending time with their siblings. Specify how much time you need and give them some activity ideas.
Bathtub
This can’t be an unsupervised break, but I have found just sitting and reading while the kids play in the bathtub is quite relaxing. You can also use the bathtub as their own private play place. Dry out the tub, fill with toys and kids, and let them have a ball! (You can also let them stand at the kitchen sink pretending to “wash dishes” with plastic dishes – I remember doing this as a kid!)
Take a ride
There have been times when I needed a moment to think, and I’ve loaded up the children and we’ve gone for a ride! Roll down the windows, play some relaxing music, get the kids a drink or snack, and just drive a bit.
Isolate yourself for a moment
This has to be very purposeful because you do not want to zone out for too long, but taking yourself outside or isolating yourself in your bedroom for a time can do wonders for getting back to the top of your game. It doesn’t take long if you tell yourself you don’t need long.
Give your children a task
By giving your children a focused task, you give yourself a moment to breathe. This needs to be something simple like picking up sticks in the yard or wiping down walls with a rag. While they do the task, you take a breather elsewhere. This will give you about 10-15 minutes.
Have them read a book
Even if they are too young to read, give them a picture book and have them take some down time. This is something you should start young and do often! Not only are you getting a break, you are fostering a love of reading!
Be creative
Sometimes all it takes is a cardboard box to keep them entertained for hours! Look around you for things that are out of their norm that would give them a creative outlet and give you a little bit of a brain break.
And lastly…
Teach your children to be quiet
Play the quiet game. Offer rewards for the quietest child. Whatever it takes to help your children learn that when Mommy needs it quiet, she NEEDS IT QUIET. This is a process, but a very good lesson for your children to learn. You will be able to afford them many opportunities if they have been taught the importance of being quiet on demand. This serves a much higher purpose than just giving you a break, so be diligent!
While this is not an exhaustive list of ideas, I hope it gives you a place to start. The television truly does have a mesmerizing effect on children (and most adults!), but it isn’t much for getting creative juices flowing or offering quality engagement of the brain. It should be used rarely and with caution.
Feel free to share how you take a break without plopping the kids in front of the television!
Suanna says
Thanks for this list of ideas. With having a new baby soon I’m sure our TV will be used a little more often. What are some of the rewards you’ve used for the Quiet Game. My children are ages 2-11. They attempt playing it by themselves, but it is a hilariously funny failure. Maybe I should try it with them, so they get an idea of what I want when I ask them to be quiet.
Amy says
For rewards, you can think big, small, or totally out of the box! Stickers or gum…special time with Mommy or Daddy…getting to choose the next family book or movie (hee hee). Even a trip to the park might be good incentive (if Mommy can hack it!). (For the really little ones, it will need to be quick and easy like a sticker or a game of Ring Around the Rosy as a reward)
Stephanie says
We love to use CDS for quiet time for my 2 kids that need to lay down everyday but don’t really need a nap. It’s an automatic timer too since the length of a CD is about the length I want them to lay down. We like the Brinkmans too, also listen to Adventure in Odyssey and Patch the Pirate. I’ve been wanting to get some Jonathon Park CDs.
CabotMama says
Wonderful list of ideas!! Last year, we were building our home and living in an apartment with intolerant downstairs neighbors and no outside play area. I resorted to screen time way too often as a method of keeping them occupied (ages 8, 6, 3, and 2). We moved into our new home a year ago and we haven’t broken the nasty screen time habit. Every year in August, we take a month sabbatical from the television and I have been dreading it this year. Thank you for an excellent and timely inspiration of alternatives – and the exhortation to train my children. Sometimes I think of other options, but because the kids won’t do it automatically, I don’t even try. Your encouragement was much needed.
One alternative that has worked well for us during the month of August is our treasure box. It only comes out in August and is full of small toys (kids meal trinkets, party favors, etc. collected over the years). The kids love it. Throughout each year, I place new items in it, so it feels like a fascinating collection of old and new. At the end of August, before storing it away, I discard items they didn’t play with, making room for more odds & ends. I am not sure if the treasure chest would be as effective if used throughout the year, but it is awesome for a specific time.
Amy says
Great idea! Sounds like a lot of fun – even for the adults!
Alisa says
So true. I’ve used many of these from time to time, but I can always use a review! Now that I no longer have toddlers or preschoolers, these are all more easily implemented.
Kristin says
Love this! I was wondering if we could reprint this in our Homeschool newsletter. Thanks!
Amy says
Email me – amy at raising arrows dot net 🙂
Alyson says
Agree 100%!! I too am guilty of this. Thank you for the encouragement, lately I have been using t.v. as my first resort without really putting much thought into what else I could be entertaining them with, which I believe is the worst part!
Amy says
We LOVE the bathtub idea especially in the winter months. I allow extra toys in the bath, throw in some bubbles, and it gives our daughter 30-45 minutes of fun that she loves. I love this time for reading and journaling for me.
Ashlee says
I am currently trying to wean my children off of too much television (or phone) time. This was great encouragement! One activity my little ones have always loved is painting with water. We have a front porch made of wood, so it’s especially fun out there and gives me some alone time in the house, but they are close enough I don’t have to worry. I also give the younger ones a glue stick (stick being the key word 🙂 ) and construction paper and let them just tear pieces off and glue them to another sheet. That usually keeps them occupied for a while. My problem is forgetting to think of these things before I just say, “Okay, choose a video!” 🙂 Thanks for the encouragement Amy!
Amy says
OH, I just had a flashback to my childhood! I LOVED painting the house with water! Thanks for the smile!
Diana says
Thank you! I have printed this one off for my parenting notebook!!
Phyllis Sather says
Great ideas. Makes me wish I had younger children again. Thanks for sharing. I’ll pass this on to some younger moms I know will appreciate it.
Amy says
Thank you, Phyllis!
Shiloh says
Yes, I have been using the bathtub as a way to get through rainy days.
Peta says
Hey Amy,
The world needs more humble women like you who are so dedicated to their families. Thanks for this post, I have a bad habit of checking my facebook on my iPad when I’m feeling stressed. These are super ideas to have a little break, my little ones go crazy over cardboard boxes, they can keep them busy for hours!
Blessings from Australia,
Peta,
http://www.goddardhome.blogspot.com.au
Leah Yoder says
Thanks for these suggestions! I have been using the TV too much with my little ones because I’ve been burnt out. You gave me some great ideas- especially giving them a specific task or putting them in an empty tub!
babykitted says
Always use your imagination! I think going for a ride, walk by bike, play games, paint, draw, teach new things are always a great idea. This is how you let your kid learn and do something different and you also rest, as you see your kid having fun.