About a year ago, we taught our then 10 year old daughter how to make coffee. She loves coffee and we figured it was something she could easily learn to make and then, in turn, use to serve others (she also makes a mean pitcher of lemonade!)
Last week, our 6 year old decided he wanted to be “big” like his sister and make coffee too. Thankfully, I caught him before he just dove right in and I helped him get started (and finished).
He donned an apron (because that’s what all good cooks do) and got down to work. By the time the coffee was brewing, he had actually done very little of the work involved, but he felt like he had truly made the coffee.
Having eager youngsters can be a difficult thing for a mama. We hear how we are supposed to let them help in the kitchen and we really want to do that, but we have a distorted view of what that looks like. We envision waist-high kiddos measuring and stirring and grabbing ingredients for us in a way that is truly helpful. However, more often than not, it looks more like this:
Mom: Can you get me the sugar?
Child: Sure!
3 minutes later
Child: MOM! I can’t find the sugar!
Mom: It on top of the flour bin.
Child: I don’t see it.
Mom: I’ll come get it.
Mom finds sugar on top of flour bin.
And this goes on and on and on.
I once had a young woman tell me that her mother was very good about letting the children in her family help with things in the kitchen and whenever they would ask, she would say in her sweetest voice with a smile on her face,
“Oh good! It only takes me twice as long when you help!”
This woman had a correct view of children helping in the kitchen. She knew it was not going to be easy, but she also knew it was a step in the right direction and one that needed to be taken not to actually have a “helper” in the kitchen but to instill in each child a sense of worth and belonging and to spur them on to even greater things.
So, let them make coffee – or think they did.
Jennifer says
I need to think to get my son involved in the kitchen earlier in the process. He is 4 and usually asks to help just as things are about to go into the hot oven or as things start boiling on the stove, so he really can’t safely help at that time. I’m forever telling him, “uuummm {while looking around the kitchen}, no baby, there’s really nothing you can help with right now” and I feel so bad about that. Be more intentional. That’s what I need to do. So I think I will let him help me crack eggs and tear cheese slices for this morning’s breakfast when I am ready to start cooking 🙂
Renee says
Our almost 5 year old does make us coffee, it’s the sweetest thing to see how proud she gets when she does it 🙂
It’s true that training young one to be “good helpers” is hard work,but the reward are greater then the pain 🙂
Evie says
love it. My MIL is SO good at letting the kids help, and I am learning to! My husband taught my 6 year old how to make coffee a couple weeks ago, and now I will get up to the smell of coffee. She does a GREAT job. Then about a month ago, I let her do most of the bread making one day. OH boy! Was she thrilled. Only downside, now the 5 and 4 year old’s want a turn! LOL
Have a blessed Day
Coby says
I love this! I find that when I say “no” to 5 year-old “help” in the kitchen, really it’s because I’m intent on my own agenda. I’m getting better at throwing out my agenda and saying “yes” when they ask to help! And I need to get better STILL!
My 5 year-old twins and my 2 year-old have started making their own PB&J sandwiches, and it’s been really fun to watch their confidence grow, and to see how proud they are of eating a lunch that they made!
kelli- AdventurezInChildRearing says
So glad you had a wonderful time at the conference – wish I could have gone with you – maybe next year! I look forward to following what you learned on the HSblogging site!
Amy says
I wish you could have been there too, Kelli! I’m sure we’ll meet again though 🙂
Danielle @More Than Four Walls says
Wonderful post! My 19 month old loves to help make smoothies. He adds the ice (through the opening in the lid) and “pushes” the buttons to make the blender start.
PS – Just have to say there is NOTHING wrong with our boys knowing how to cook! 😉
(or make coffee and smoothies!)
Rhoda says
My mom would tell us when we were young, “I’m so glad for your help. What use to take me a W H O L E half hour, now only takes 45 minutes!” It worked until we could tell time. But that expression of hers has helped me over and over as I strive to let my children do their share of “helping” now.
Mary says
Thanks for this reminder! Yesterday I noticed that some of my daughter’s plastic toy animals had gotten covered in some sticky substance. I could have just thrown them all in the sink, washed them, and dried them off in a few minutes, but I asked her to help me instead. It turned into a one hour splash-a-thon that left my kitchen looking like a marine mammal show had taken place there. But she got a lot of pride out of helping me and had fun in the process. 🙂
Amy says
That is a perfect example! Thanks for sharing. 🙂
Allison says
Thanks for this encouragement! I struggle with the extra time and clean up that it takes when my little ones help me in the kitchen…or anywhere. There is always tons of work to be done with six kids and homeschooling. I have always been about efficiency but loving and parenting little hearts isn’t always efficient…but worth it:)
I also believe that there is a window of opportunity to teach them to help out when they are young and willing. I am going to focus more on this this week!
Nicki says
Amy,
I e-mailed you as you asked…did you get it?
Blessings,
Nicki
Amy says
Yes, I got it but I have been in DC all weekend and trying to get my bearings! I’ll email you later today. 🙂
Rebecca says
Funnily enough, just this evening my 18 month old helped me peel and chop potatoes and put them in a pot (my hands completely covered hers so there’s no chance of ouchies with sharp kitchen tools). She then put the vegetables in a pot too, and is about to put the fish on the oven tray.
She can also make awesome muffins – better than her mum can by herself.
Anna@The DIY Mom says
You’re absolutely right, if you never let them help or teach them how to, how will they be helpful later. My mom growing up hardly learned to cook, because her mother didn’t like messes, and my mom made a point to teach and include me. I am trying to do that with my kids, and even more. I also need my kids to help me around the house so I can make more things from scratch and still have time to spend with them, working, teaching, and playing.
It can take a lot longer with littles helping in the kitchen, but I am amazed at how much help my 3 (almost 4) year old can be already. Sure he and my two year old can make a huge mess and make things take much longer too. But the older one can already safely peel carrots, break apart broccoli into individual pieces, start rolling the tortillas by forming balls and getting them halfway flat, form rolls and bread sticks, and almost make scrambled eggs by himself (if he could reach the eggs and were allowed to use the stove by himself), among other things. Little brother definitely still makes things go slower, but if I give older brother the right job it can already be a semi-efficent use of my time. I definitely need to keep remembering to include the younger one so he can be helpful soon too!
Amy says
Yes, we just have to get over the messes. I also have to remember not to only let my older kids help because my littles will not know what they know if I don’t give them the opportunity to try.