I’m 4 weeks postpartum. I gained more weight this pregnancy than I ever have. I am down over 30 pounds, but when you’ve gained 60, that feels like a drop in the bucket. I’m actually below my pre-pregnancy weight from my last baby, but I had high hopes this time I would get a lot of the weight off quickly.
But, if I was being honest with myself and all of you, I would have to say that I always feel this way about this time postpartum.
I start thinking I need a whole new wardrobe because I have nothing to wear; or better yet, I need to drop 30 pounds overnight so I can wear all my old clothes. Then I think maybe some new makeup or a brand new hairdo would make me feel better. I start reading diet books, cut my hair way too short, buy a bunch of clothes I really don’t like (because I don’t want to spend money on clothes that won’t fit me after I’ve slimmed down), and cry myself a river every time I have to leave the house because I’m just not satisfied with anything.
But guess what…
No diet book, new wardrobe, or new hairdo will fix what I’m feeling.
It’s a little bit of head, a little bit of heart, and a whole lot of hormones telling me that the shape I’m in is something to cry over.
Now, I can tell myself a million times over that it took 9 months to get this way, so why in the world would I think a few weeks would be sufficient to get back to the way I looked before, but I’m one of those people who needs more than some overused adage to feel better. I’m a practical, give-me-something-I-can-hang-onto kind of person.
Here is what I’ve finally learned that is worth hanging on to…
For years, I saw a healthy weight as an end point. I would journey until I got there and then forget the journey and do something else. And during those years when I couldn’t seem to reach the end point, I begrudged every step on the path because I never seemed to be getting anywhere. That was because I wanted the journey to end. I didn’t want to be on this diet-focused path forever.
I also saw pregnancy as a time to completely turn tail and run head long into my obsession with food. When you consider I’ve been pregnant 13 times and birthed 9 full-term babies, some of those with barely a year between, you can imagine how discouraged I became after every baby, wondering if I would ever reach my goal, my end point.
It’s taking me some time to wrap my brain around HEALTHY being a way of life, but now that my husband and my son have maintained their weight losses for over a year, I have a better grasp of what healthy looks like in the long term sense of the word.
Reaching a healthy weight is sort of like birthing a baby. There is a long journey to get to the place where you hold that precious little one in your arms, but the journey doesn’t end there. You keep taking steps on down the path of motherhood.
I won’t be at my pre-pregnancy weight by my 6 week checkup, but that’s because I started a lot lower than most of my other pregnancies. I know I have a lot to learn, and I’m going to need a lot of determination and motivation to stay focused and make this journey part of my life and not just something I do for a little while.
The shape I’m in isn’t something to be discouraged by because it’s just part of my journey. It’s the place I am now. I am choosing to be a fit mama even when the shape I’m in feels far from it because I am choosing to live healthy!
Nikki says
Thank you for this. I am expecting baby #11 in early May and my weight is coming on FAST!!!! When I think about the 15 weeks I have left I tend to get nervous but this post made me feel much better! Thanks for sharing!!! I totally get the clothes not fitting etc.
TL says
I understand how you feel. While I might have lost the baby weight from DD4, my body didn’t go back to its shape. I never tend to gain much weight, the weight I do gain is baby. I’m thinking of trying THM after this pregnancy.
I do have a question for you though: at how many weeks do you start showing? With 5 weeks behind me, I already cannot fit into my jean skirts. They are too tight. I notice a change in my body and I know it won’t be much longer before others start to notice as well.
Amy says
Right away!
TL says
I’m glad I’m not the only one.
julie says
Amy,
What a nice quote to live by, and such a positive outlook! By the way, you look amazing-healthy and glowing. I love your outfit, especially the sweater. So pretty!
Amy says
Well, it seems as if you have just figured out the key to a successful healthy life. My story is similar to yours. It wasn’t until I embraced the reality that I would never really “get there.” It is a day by day choice to make the best decisions for a healthy life that is the goal. You look absolutely beautiful by the way. <3
Jillian says
You look great, Amy. Just chip away little by little. 🙂
Nancy says
Hi! I can relate! You’re not the only one! And for what it’s worth, from someone you don’t even know, you look great! I have enjoyed your blog for a few years now and you’ve never looked soo good post-partum! Truly, and I wouldn’t just say that. Baby steps, you’ve come a long way! Think big picture 🙂
Nancy
Amy says
Awwww! You make mw smile!
DanaV says
Oh Amy! I so understand. This pregnancy (I am 38 weeks) I have only gained 33 lbs but all others I have gained 45-50. The only difference this time was a little self control on the food side(normally I have none) and I worked out until about 30 weeks. But I still expect to walk out of the hospital in maternity clothes and wear them for a good month. Then put on my “fat” clothes for several months. Just the way it always goes for me. I am so glad that Jamie loves all the body changes ;))
Amy says
Yes, we are blessed with men who love us no matter our shape!
Meghan Wilson says
i needed to hear this today. I had my ninth child nine days ago. By c section, not my preferred method of delivery. I didn’t gain much this pregnancy, but still I see a huge bulge of fat hanging over my incision. 🙁 it’s hard to not get discouraged. But we must stay strong and encourage each other. Many blessings to you!
Leah says
Go Amy!!! As I was reading your post (I was on the phone with my husband) out loud, my husband and I had a good laugh. You sound exactly like me!! I have been pregnant 6 times, and have given birth to 5 children. I have never read such a perfect articulation of what I feel like after giving birth. My youngest is 2 now, and I am still about 50 pounds overweight. I am on the journey as well, and after eating healthy (not much exercise yet) for the last month, I have already lost 3 pounds. I really don’t enjoy having to be so patient to see the results, but I’m beginning to really understand the science behind it all, and I am praying for the motivation to keep pressing on!! I’ll be praying for you too. 🙂 BTW, you look beautiful!!
Amy says
You can do it, Leah!!!
Bethany Hudson says
This was so affirming, Amy. Thank you.
Tiff says
Amy you WILL do it! You got me onto THM and that is what finally got the weight off of me. I ran my 20th marathon at 6 months post partum and STILL 15 pounds above pre-preg wt. It was not until I got to understand S and E (and FP) that it came flying off! I think my milk is way healthier for my baby eating S style. She is 9 months and taking a ton of milk! SO — do what Candace Cameron Bure says to do in Reshaping it All: Get out your calendar, look at 6 months from now, and live one day at a time until you get there — if you stay ON PLAN (read THM again and again while you nurse — you can get Kindle on your phone) you will get there. I have 4 babies on earth and 5 in heaven. One I got to hold — born still. Be thankful you are “fat and sassy” and have a live baby at home… I know you know the pain. Be encouraged. Get yourself a really good coat — when you go out that is what you wear anyways. This is what a fashion consultant told me when I asked about the one wardrobe item to get if you don’t have a lot to spend. BTW — I think you look AWESOME. Your face is very thin in that photo and you look beautiful girl! Lots and lots of love from an admirer in MA! 🙂
Amy says
Thank you for the encouragement, Tiff!
Jenni says
Hi Amy,
I can definitely relate to the frustration. I got down to a really good weight after our 3rd child, and then got rid of all my “too big” clothes thinking that we were done, and now here I am with #4 (our first girl!) and very little that fits right except for sweatpants or maternity jeans. It was hardest in the first month or two when life is so demanding in general, but now I am nearing the point where I can do more to deal with the leftover weight (I can’t work out or diet because my milk supply plummets, so I’m waiting until it’s a good time to wean). But I’ll take the baby girl and very little to wear any day and tell myself that it will just be a good excuse to have a newer wardrobe in the spring and summer when I’m more out and about.
Sarah says
Are you still doing THM? I had higher hopes than my reality post pardum and I am just wondering if you’ve stuck with this plan or have found something else that has you moving forward in your journey.
Amy says
THM is my plan right now. I didn’t stick to it 100%, especially in the beginning (when most of the weight piled on). I did much better in the final months.
Erin says
Oh Amy!! Thank you! This was what my heart needed today. I just had my 5th little one and was feeling discouraged. After 5, I’m holding on to about 40lbs of “permanent” weight. It’s been hard to get motivated but your post has been a great encouragement!
Caroline says
Hi Amy! I have been praying for you this whole pregnancy and will continue to pray for you in your postpartum journey. You are such an encouragement to so many moms, thank you for all you put into your blog. I wanted to to remind you that 30 pounds gone is a ton of weight! Congratulations! You look amazing, beautiful, and healthy. I will pray your feel that inside too.
Lindsey says
Haven’t even read the whole post and just wanted to say I love that pic of you! You look so pretty!
Sabrina says
I appreciated this! I gave birth to baby #4 on Christmas Day and all I can think about is how I can lose my baby weight without compromising my milk supply. Thanks for the sharing!
Candace says
I can so relate to this! I go through the same feelings after each pregnancy. I’m 28 weeks pregnant with baby 11 and already thinking of postpartum weight because I started this pregnancy 20 lbs heavier than usual. I had actually lost all the baby weight from the previous baby, but stopped running and gained 15 lbs. Then got pregnant, gained 5 lbs, but lost that baby. So going into this pregnancy was already a weight concern for me.
However, like you, I’ve learned that it is a journey…..a process that doesn’t happen over night. And I always remind myself that I wouldn’t change a thing in terms of carrying and giving birth to new life.
But I must say, you look fantastic! So beautiful! 🙂
Reggie says
It took me six babies to figure this out myself! I’m currently pregnant with my 7th, and between health concerns for baby and planning for a NICU stay, my postpartum weight loss is the last thing on my mind right now. For me, that’s a very good place for it to be, as I tend to begin dwelling on it more and more as the pregnancy nears it’s end. I still find myself amazed at how my perspective on my weight and pregnancy has changed between health challenges after last baby and health concerns for this one. God’s ways are definitely not ours, but I am learning that if I trust and obey, they are always better.