It’s no secret how much our family enjoys the holiday season starting as soon as the weather turns cooler in September or October. By Novemeber, we are in full Thanksgiving mode and thinking ahead to Christmas.
Every year we strive for one thing – a slow-paced season focused on Christ.
We want to be grateful and generous. We want to recognize our blessings and focus our hearts on what truly matters.
It grieves my heart to hear others lament the pace of the season and how they either wish it would slow down or just be over with.
Slowing down during the holidays takes conscious effort, but it can be done. Here are a few of the things our family has done to create a slow-paced holiday season:
-Avoid a lot of “have to” events. This may mean not joining a Christmas choir or saying no to a party or simply learning to weigh everything according to the stress level it causes in your household.
-Focus on family togetherness. Our family already has a family-first policy, but this becomes even more important during the holidays. Try to choose your activities based on how many of the family members can participate. Try not to scatter the family as it tends to make life more hectic.
-Use your energy to create memories. I like to use my energy to do things that create lasting memories for my family rather than on petty things that are here today and gone tomorrow. We do crafts, pack Operation Christmas Child shoeboxes, create a Blessing Tree, go on outings as a family, eat festive foods, and so much more! For many years, we have done a Jesse Tree devotional every night in December. We also have a family Christmas Eve service every year that has become a memory my children dearly cherish.
-Plan the big stuff. I’ve mentioned before how lost I would be without my Holiday Planner. I use it for so much, but it is especially helpful in planning those big things that can easily become stressful like sending out Christmas cards or holiday baking. There are other ways you can make sure you plan the big stuff like using a calendar or a notebook, or taking part in Organized Christmas.
-Slow down school if you homeschool. I’ll be talking more about homeschooling during the holidays in a future post, but my biggest piece of advice here is to not feel as if you have to choose school over the season. Stay focused on Jesus’ birth and what that event means to us as Christians and also what it means for the entire world. Live gratitude. Let the rest be secondary.
-Create a relaxing atmosphere. In Chapter 7 of my ebook Creating a Peaceful Home, I talk about making home a haven. This is something I have found to be very important in keeping a slow pace for the holidays. If life at home is chaotic, all seems chaotic. I also see where this is so important for my husband. He works long hours during this time of year and they are stressful hours. I want him to come home to peace. I also try to include him in our daily holiday activities by sending him photos of the kids crafting or baking or decorating. He appreciates seeing them in action even if he can’t be here.
I want so badly for all of you to really breathe in this time of year. It is so beautiful and so rich and there is so much to be thankful for. Don’t squander it by running at breakneck speed right through it all!
Melanie says
Hi I jsut wanted to thank-you for writting this… Sometimes it is hard to remember to slowdown and focus on family first. With the hours that my husband works I am generally on my own with the kids and to get them to all appointments, and extracuriccular activites. Plus with flexible hours it is challenging to get everything done at times… Now that the girls are getting older 5 and 7 they are doing more activites, unlike my 18 month old son who hangs out with us…
I am considering homeschooling and have been for awhile now. My huband is opposed so that will be a challenge… But it is hard seeing my daughters not liking school. My oldest isn’t reaching her potential in a class with 24 other kids as she has trouble with attention skills, however she does really well one on one… Something that will only get harder at school as she gets older.
All of my family is opposed as well 🙁
I am hoping to be able to do what I feel may be the best option for my daughter befroe she looses the joy of learning…
Lori says
I like your advice, “slow down school.” I teach a workshop called “Ten Secrets Teachers Never Tell” for homeschooling moms, and Secret #6 is that NO learning happens in May or December. To compensate, we did a lot of read alouds, crafts, service projects, baking, and life skills and set aside all but the most basic of book work. In that way, my children did learn in December, just not a lot of book work. Blessings to you from Be Not Weary today 🙂
Jennifer G says
We are having a baby 3 days before Thanksgiving. I will be having a scheduled c-section due to being diabetic and the baby being quite large already, and having a prior c-section. My MIL doesn’t seem to understand why we don’t want to come do Thanksgiving as usual when we get home, since I will be released from the hospital the day before Thanksgiving. When I first mentioned that we didn’t want to do Thanksgiving as usual, she was upset. Thankfully she has backed off some and has offered to bring us dinner (which I am immensely grateful for), but I don’t know whether they plan on staying and trying to make a “day of it” at our house while I am recuperating from surgery and have a newborn (and his 5 yr old brother, who may or may not take to having little brother at home right away) to care for. Do you have any advice on how to gracefully and tactfully ask them to leave if they choose to overstay their welcome? (My husband is neither graceful nor tactful, and I imagine I won’t be either in a sleep-deprived and possibly pain-ridden state).
Harper says
I think I would start simply by reminding her that you will be recovering from surgery and your husband will be focused on making sure you and the newborn are ok. However, I would also let your mil know that their coming over would be a wonderful opportunity to spend some special time with your son and help him transition to brotherhood–not to mention make it feel a little less like he’s losing out on a holiday because of his sibling.
Amy says
Jennifer,
I am really bad with things like this, but honesty is always the best policy even if it does hurt feelings. C-sections are difficult to recover from. In fact, I wouldn’t even want to do Thanksgiving as usual having a baby 3 days before Thanksgiving C-section or not! I would try to have a heart to heart with you mother in law now about the situation. You know what c-sections are like and while help would be appreciated, you don’t think you can do a long day of it. (HUGS) and congratulations!!!
Serenity says
Loved this post! For the first time ever we are taking off school from the week before Thanksgiving until after New years! I am VERY excited!!!!!! There are things I have always wanted to do but get left undone because we are still doing school throughout it all. In fairness, there will be PLENTY of education. My older kids will be practicing their penmanship by addressing Christmas cards, we will read Jotham’s Journey or another book in that series, we will bake and share our goodies almost daily but we will be taking a break from our formalized learning and basically become “unschoolers” for a couple of months 🙂
Emily says
This blessed me today. Thank you. I so long to just live simply and focus on the Lord in everything we do as a family & in our home. Especially during the holidays!
Harper says
I know it’s difficult for Christians, but it really helps to spread the holidays out a bit. I would recommend enjoying Thanksgiving and Christmas, but not make them the crowning events of the year. Save some of the religious traditions (especially ones that are not holiday specific) for Palm Sunday and Easter, for example.
I’ve found that all the marketing and events really encourages a break-kneck pace, and just deciding to spread it out to less commercially-oriented times of the year makes it a lot easier to stay sane.
Neroli says
I’d love to try the Family Christmas eve service but can’t seem to find the link to down load it?
Amy says
Currently, it is for subscribers only. 🙂
Neroli says
Oops, sorry. I thought I had subscribed. I’m not very good with the computer I’m afraid. I really would love to subscribe as I have loved reading your thoughts and I find it so encouraging and helpful. We are a family of 5 serving God in Tanzania and I just love your ideas on caring for your family. Thanks for sharing! xx
Amy says
No problem at all! If you look at the top of the sidebar on my home page https://raisingarrows.net , you will see a place to enter you email address. An email will come to your inbox and you will need to click on the link to verify your email address. The next time you get an email from Raising Arrows, there will be a link at the bottom of the email that gives you a link and password to the Subscriber Freebie page. Enjoy!
Ashley Ditto says
This is an amazing post with so many great tips! Pinned it, loved it!
Laura W says
I would love to have this! And I totally need to look into the curriculum. Our Fine Arts has been suffering!