About a month ago, I sat at my daughter’s grave and talked aloud to her and to God. I do not know if our dear ones in Heaven can truly hear us, but it brings me comfort to speak aloud to my baby girl. I told her how much I was hurting, how much I miss her, how much I love her. I also asked her if it were within her abilities, and if it was alright with her, could she ask the Lord to send us another baby. Our arms are so empty.
I went on to ask the Lord to consider me. I told Him that I did not know if He believed us to be truly ready for a new baby, but if it was His will, I would gladly accept a new little blessing.
Shortly thereafter, we learned that the Lord had indeed blessed us again! A new little babe to join us at Christmas time! A child to fill our aching arms.
With this blessing comes many emotions and thoughts…too many to put into words here. I am sure as this pregnancy progresses, I will have many things to share with you.
I continue to grieve the loss of my dear sweet baby girl who would have been 10 months old on the 4th. I find myself continually counting heads and knowing there is someone missing. I want her to be here to share in the joy of this new life, but where she is is exactly where the Lord wants her. So I must rejoice in this new life wholeheartedly. This IS His best for me. Though one is “missing” and will always be “missing”, there is a future, there is hope. The Lord continues to show this to me over and over again. Blessed be the name of the Lord!