Because I have been blogging for 9 years, I have a lot of old posts hanging out in the archives of my site. Every now and then someone finds one of those old posts and leaves a comment. Most of the time, it’s not a big deal, but occasionally, someone finds a buried post I was sort of hoping would stay buried.
Why?
Because a lot has changed in 9 years.
1.) Some things I thought were essentials are actually nonessentials.
“In essentials unity, in non-essentials liberty,
in all things charity.”
~attributed to Augustine
There are a lot of things I used to think required unity. I had a skewed sense of what the essentials are. I think this happens to a lot of Christians, and I think it is very prevalent in the homeschooling community. There are things I am very passionate about, but not everything I am passionate about is a hill to die on. Not everyone has to agree with me.
As I’ve matured, I find I have a better sense of what things are essentials are what things are nonessentials based on my opinions, my convictions, and the Lord’s leading in my life.
2.) Some of my opinions were borrowed.
Over the years, I formed opinions based on what other Christians said and did. I tried to remember to test everything against Scripture, but sometimes I lost my way and held onto an opinion simply because someone else said it was right…or I thought they thought it was right.
This is very much a “new homeschooler” thing. New homeschoolers, in their quest to do everything right, look to other homeschool moms to emulate. The problem with this is that we often make assumptions of what a person is like and what that person must believe based on exteriors or passing comments. From there, we borrow their opinions, never realizing their opinions might be flawed and/or we might have misunderstood what they were really saying.
It’s sort of like the homeschool mom “denim jumper” generalization (you know, ALL homeschool moms wear denim jumpers). You see a mom in a denim jumper at the homeschool conference every year, so you assume she wears a denim jumper all year long. You “borrow” this way of dress, assuming this is what homeschool moms do. Sadly, some of my opinions were wearing denim jumpers they borrowed from someone else.
3.) I have a better understanding of liberty in Christ.
This is still a work in progress. I became a Christian in 1999 and spent many years running away from my former life and anything that resembled that life. I ran straight into the arms of rules.
It has taken a lot of years and a lot of discernment to come to a place where I can sort out what things are essentials and what are nonessentials, what things are harmful and what things are harmless, what things are convictions the Holy Spirit has placed in my life and what things are convictions that belong to other people.
I also feel I am finally understanding what a church made up of hands and feet, eyes and ears all coming together as the Body of Christ actually looks like. It goes way beyond acknowledging there are no cookie-cutter Christians. It acknowledges that every single difference we have in Christ allows each of us to do the work the Lord has laid before us. Liberty in Christ isn’t about us…it’s about HIM.
4.) I’ve learned better how to speak the truth in love.
There is a time to speak out. We can’t help how our message is taken, but we can help the heart behind the message. My goal should be to have everything that comes from my mouth (or from my blog) be said because I truly LOVE Jesus and don’t want anyone to miss His gospel. My motives haven’t always been the best, and I’m sure this will continue to be one I need to work on.
5.) I am simply at a different place in life.
You’ve probably heard someone say,
“I was the perfect parent…until I became one.”
Years ago, I made a rather curt comment to a mother with teens. (If I remember correctly, I used the words, “I would never…” <eek!> ) Well, I wasn’t a mother with teens, and I was wrong. Things change. Circumstances change. We grow and change, and so do those around us. Grace is a beautiful thing.
Perhaps you are wondering why I don’t just take those posts down. I guess it’s because I see them as part of the “growing in Christ” process. If I had the time, I’d put a disclaimer on all older posts that says something like –
Written by an imperfect Christian.
But, I figure people already know that. And if they don’t, the comments left on those old posts keep me humble.
April Ann Wofford says
I love you! You say all the things I wish I could! I wish I was your neighbor!
Shannon Wallace says
Oh Amy…yes. YES!!!!!! I understand where you are coming from, and I am SOO appreciative of this post!
I became a Christ-follower several years ago, and shortly thereafter, wanted to homeschool our boys. Of course, the very first sources of guidance to this new lifestyle was through reading blogs. And unfortunately, being a baby Christian, I tried to emulate what others were doing.
Now I am understanding more and more each day we are under His banner of grace and not rules. Our outward appearance cannot and will not change our hearts nor make us more righteous. Grace and love, grace and love…Hugs!
Amanda says
This was an incredible and humbling post… I loved it!
Jillian says
I know exactly where you’re coming from. I think if you come to Christ later in life you tend to want to make drastic changes. For me, one of those changes was wearing skirts only and yes, denim jumpers. Lol! But it wasn’t just the outward appearance, there were other things that I held to that I now realize weren’t as important. I’m glad I don’t have them I record to keep me humble though. Lol 😉
Sheila Mom to Seven says
Yep, a lot can happen in 9 years. Or 3 or 15. Thanks for your open heart, Amy. You’re a real encouragement to us fellow humans. 🙂
AdoringFamily says
I have been following you for years so a lot of what we do around here is a result of tips from your blog! I appreciate this post and I too have changed my perspective on different things. One thing remains the same, our faith in Christ Who is the same yesterday, today and forever! Blessings to you, sweet lady 🙂
Cecilia says
This reminds me of a recent post by Stacy Makes Cents (I’ve become THAT mom!). We all grow…and regret the arrogance of our youth. 😉
Rebecca says
But don’t ever delete those posts! Because while someone else may stumble into them and make a comment about it, it shows how much growth is in your life and how far God has brought you. Isn’t it a great thing to be able to look back and see the work God has done?! 🙂
Luke Holzmann says
Oh my, yes.
As a fellow blogger and slowly growing Christian, I can relate. Yep. May the grace of Christ continue to transform me and, in so doing, spill into the lives of those around me.
~Luke
Nicole says
That’s the beauty of blogging and honesty, I appreciate being able to see the growing process, truth is just when we think we’ve figured this faith walk out, God continues to prune us with His word and we learn more about Him. Praise the Lord for his abundance, He is more than all we need! He can provide exactly what we need, grow us in every season of our life, and still be our everything! 🙂 🙂 🙂
Lisa says
Amy, thank you for your honesty! I am guilty too of passing judgement of not taking into account that we are all growing in our journey as parents and in our walks with the Lord. I feel really badly about advice I have given to people that I definitely would not give today, and that keeps me humble when I am tempted to judge another mom today. Maybe you could update some of your older posts with a current update as a mom with some more experience?
Amy says
Good idea!
Kirsten Pankratz says
I agree with all the other commenters! Thank you for being honest and humble. I think we all can relate but that’s a wonderful thing. It means we’re growing! I know I have changed a lot in 10 years of marriage and 5 kids!
Diana says
Oh, goodness – I know what you mean! I’ve only been blogging for six years, but some of my old posts are so embarrassing. I was way too open about my life, and I’ve changed so much that some of my former opinions now embarrass me. I’ve taken a couple of old posts down, but for the most part, I just hope that people won’t read the older posts. 🙂
raisingcropsandbabies says
I can definitely relate to all you wrote!!! I’ve been very humbled by adulthood and have grown so much in my 8 (almost 9) years of marriage and motherhood. Life has thrown many curveballs which have helped me grow (through the grace and patience of God) and I’ve learned to be thankful for those… some of the things I used to say, believe, think horrify me now! haha.
I became a wife at 21 and a mother at 22 and I remember my Mom saying that 21 and 22 year olds know everything… and I did know everything! haha (slapping hands on thighs). Thank God for molding and shaping us!
Josi says
Amen! I love all the comments, too. Life sure has a way of humbling us. The best news about this post, for you and us readers, is that by God’s grace we can report that we are not the same people we were five or ten years ago. Praise the Lord! Can you imagine if we were still stuck there? Thank you Jesus for being faithful to continue the work that you started.
I am laughing and shaking my head at times through this post as I think of some of the doozies from my own life! Uugh! And believe me, some aren’t so funny! 🙂
Tanya @ Kentucky Sketches says
Beautifully written, Amy. And I agree with Lisa: Maybe you can do some updating of those old posts for the benefit of us all!
Amy says
Thank you, Tanya – I think I will try to do that!
Michelle says
Oh my! I can honestly say amen to all those things and could have written that kind of post myself. Just like those denim jumpers, we try a lot of “clothing” on when we are just starting out our journey and walking in fear instead of faith. Fear that we won’t measure up to our peers or to God.
It is interesting that He tells us to clothe ourselves with compassion and humility, but our contrary flesh is so quick to put “clothing” on that ends up feeding our pride or other people’s approval.
And that part about the teens? I did the same thing-and now I have three of them! The silver hair seems to be appearing with a vengeance but the wisdom is slower-coming:) (Yes, I said silver instead of gray. Sounds so much nicer, doesn’t it?!
Thank you for your honesty and willingness to be real. It’s one of the things that keeps me coming back.
Amy says
Yes, silver does sound much nicer. 😉
Valerie says
Love this! Totally identify and like many other commenters, could have written it myself!
One thing God has shown me through this, is that some of those choices/convictions/rules we clung to, were sometimes merely attempts to cling to a *cultutal* or lifestyle shift and not always a spiritual one. In my zeal to reject all the old, I took on undue burdens that sometimes became spiritual.
For example, my thoughts were, “Yes! Let’s dress feminine and stop showing skin! Let’s dress as good examples for our daughters. Our culture needs this! I love it!”
That is not a bad thing! I still do it in many ways. But when embraced with so many other lifestyle changes, imagine how many other young mothers, friends, relatives, may have thought it was all an attempt to live by new rules.
Sigh… This walk can be complicated, but His GRACE covers it all! Love how kind He is with me! Thanks for posting your heart.
Stephanie Thompson says
Amy, you are one of my very favorite bloggers. I love your honesty and your heart. I have thought how glad I am that I have never blogged, because of this very same reason. But guess what? The next thought I had was …ugg, I’m still so prideful! Well, you have just blessed me so much, for your honesty yes, but also your humility in keeping those posts up and not worrying what others think. To me that says you are so in love with Jesus, that it only matters that He is receiving glory. You please Him and continually show us how amazing Jesus’ love is. Thank you for being willing to not look perfect so that we can see how perfect His love is. You are a gift to us all.
juli says
I can totally relate to what you are saying! This is right where I am. It took a lot of years for me to learn to give others and myself grace. I used to be quite dogmatic about some things. As I have parented longer, I have become less black and white. Sin is still sin, but some things are a matter of conviction and where we are on the road God has for us. I have 10 kids age 21 to 7 months, so I have been at this awhile:) Our children will make mistakes, people in the church might hurt you, we will say things we regret. We are all imperfect people and it took me a while to realize this. Nobody will think exactly like someone else on everything and that is good! Sanctification is a long process and rules that give just an appearance of holiness do no good. Things that are not clearly spoken of in scripture should not be labeled as the only Godly choice. We need to love each other in our differences.
Amy says
“love each other in our differences” – exactly!
shiloh says
Yes, I was just looking through some of my old posts and thinking of how to edit some of them. 🙂
Gretta says
I happened upon your blog randomly and read this post. It brought a tear and smile at the same time. I think you should leave them as they are. I have some of my own that make me cringe a little, but a friend pointed out that not only does it remind me of how I have grown and changed, but it could be an encouragement to somebody. Maybe somebody that randomly happens upon the post, like I did wIth yours.
Desi Brown says
I can totally relate to eating my words and growth in Christ. I once thought I’d never homeschool and people who had more than two kids were crazy. Thankful for God’s faithfulness to grow and sanctify us.
Maybe I’m still giggling that you actually wore denim jumpers.
Amy says
LOL – SO not my style, but I tried. 😉
Andrea says
I don’t blog, so I don’t have old posts – but I have old ways of thinking. And I did the exact same thing – and will continue to do it even though I don’t want to/try not to. There are many, many convictions I came to on my own and guess what – those are the one’s that have stuck. But others were borrowed, or that skewed view of what Christianity was, not knowing about grace, etc. My own solid convictions that come as a result of reading the Bible are still so totally there. Praise be that HIS WORD is what is supposed to stick, not the words or actions of fallible people. I remember one time telling someone what I believed about a particular subject and her response was “do YOU really believe that or is that a Vision Forum Movement thing?” At that time, I didn’t know a place called Vision Forum existed so …
I know I can learn from people, but always we have to be Bereans and check it with God’s Word.
Anyway, thankfully the Lord is gracious and He presses us to grow and to change and He will find ways to humble His people 🙂 It hurts sometimes, but oh so necessary!