We’ve all heard the phrase “Busy as a Bee” and more often than not we probably feel like that phrase fits our lives perfectly. But today, I want to ask you,
What are you busy doing?
I hear a lot of women lament their lack of time. They don’t have time to get the homeschooling in, the meals prepared, the house cleaned. They have all sorts of reasons why and most of it boils down to not enough hours in the day.
I’ve said it myself…
“I just don’t have enough time to do all the things that need to be done in a day.”
But, I’m wrong.
I do have enough time. God gave me 24 hours a day just like everyone else. But, I’m not prepared.
Go to the ant, O sluggard,observe her ways and be wise,which, having no chief, officer or ruler,prepares her food in the summer and gathers her provision in the harvest.
Proverbs 6:6-8
It is WISE to prepare. The time you are given will be used most efficiently and most effectively if you first prepare.
Prepare for the next day, prepare for meals, prepare for school, prepare for all those things you never seem to have time for.
In fact, by preparing for these things, you are saying they are important and you WILL do them. And even if they do not get accomplished in the time frame you were hoping they would, they are still prepared for and are more likely to happen because of it.
Here are a few examples from my own world to get your brain thinking about what preparations you might need to make.
Homeschooling
Not enough time for: Some sort of preschool time with my youngest two children.
Solution: Choose several easy projects to print off, laminate, and use first thing every school day with them. (I chose the Letter of the Week curriculum from Confessions of a Homeschooler)
Time it took to prepare: 30 minutes to print, laminate, and cut with 2 other family members helping.
Benefits: I’m doing something fun and one-on-one with my younger boys, they are better behaved during school hours because they got some mommy-time, it’s a delight to see their eager faces as they learn new things!
Meals
Not enough time for: Breakfast and a well-thought out dinner.
Solution: Put an older child on Breakfast Duty, have my older children help plan the month’s menu, look over menu night before and prepare anything that needs to be done ahead of time (thawing meat, etc), think ahead to dinner right after lunch is over.
Time it took to prepare: Planning menus took about an hour, everything else amounts to less than 20 minutes.
Benefits: I don’t have to worry about 3 meals a day, I have input and help with meals. Meals are better thought out, more nutritious, and never last minute frantic mad dashes.
House Cleaning
Not enough time for: Getting the house fully cleaned throughout the week.
Solution: Rethink my house cleaning schedule and do a once a week home cleaning instead of dragging it out over several days.
Time it took to prepare: 1 hour to plan and explain each person’s chores, create master sheet, and laminate the sheet.
Benefits: The house is clean for the weekend and easier maintenance during the week.
Yes, several of these required me to carve out about an hour of my day to actually prepare, but in the long run, they saved me a tremendous amount of time and even money! And best of all, I actually had the time to do them!
I’d encourage you to take a few moments to sit down and really think about the things you don’t seem to have time for. First, are they needs or wants? Second, is there some front end preparation you can do now that will make the important things a reality? Third, do you need to give up something in order to gain more time? Or perhaps you need to add in something (like a Breakfast Helper).
Start today! Become an ant! Be prepared and hard-working. You WILL reap all the hours you need in a day!
Barbie says
Great post. Gives me so much to think and pray about concerning my state of overwhelm!
Kate @ Modern Alternative Mama says
I have meal planned two weeks at a time almost without fail for three and a half years. There have been a few seasons when I didn’t (usually early in my pregnancies) but for the most part, I did. It is so helpful to just look at the plan and go, “Oh, I need to do X.” I usually check the night before, the morning of, and the afternoon of so I know what needs to be done ahead of time. It also allows me to save money on groceries since I can buy what I really need for the plan and not just “whatever looks good.” When I haven’t planned I’ve struggled a lot more. Plus, I kind of LIKE meal planning, daydreaming of all the good things I will eat in the next couple of weeks!
Right now the kids and I are eating soaked coconut-chocolate chunk bar cookies (made with coconut oil, coconut flakes, whole wheat flour, soy-free chocolate, and maple syrup — really pretty healthy) for breakfast. I mixed it up last night so all I had to do was press it into a pan this morning and bake. No-brainer easy. We also like soaked waffles, soaked apple crisp, and pretty much anything else that comes together quickly. (The waffles, of course, can be frozen and toasted later — if they last that long! They won’t here.)
Homeschooling is an area where I struggle to plan. I want to be spontaneous but then I don’t have all the supplies we need when I want to do something! Cleaning, too…my oldest is not yet 5 so she is only starting to become more of a help than hindrance, and the 3 and 1-year-olds, well…. It’s a bit harder in this season but very soon my older two will be able to do more. I hope. 😉
Mrs. Mom of 6 says
Another thing that I see women doing is TOO MUCH. They don’t have time to stop and enjoy their children, or to train them properly, because they are running from one thing to another too much. This comes in several ways: the mom who hasn’t been able to properly train her children to help, and now has “mess makers” instead of helpers, the mom who overextends herself into out of the home forays, such as church obligations, or carting kids to activities, the mom who has too many responsibilities at the home (perhaps a farm, and homeschooling, and too many objects in the house to keep clean and organized, and a stay at home job, etc) so she is harried and running to and fro, and things are never done well….
Mother’s who feel they do not have enough time to be pleasant, and are instead harried and running about, should consider whether each of the “things” they are “doing” are contributing to her ultimate goal “To love the Lord your God with all your heart, and your neighbor as yourself” and to teach that diligently to her children. We found that getting rid of THINGS/ACTIVITIES, until it was manageable, brought peace and focus, and the ability to properly train children and to have godly relationships with them (and among them), because the focus was no longer on keeping everything picked up, or whose things were whose. Furthermore, by cutting back on activities and responsibilities that do not directly contribute to the primary goal (either because they are in general not directly related, say karate, or because they are causing strife like too many church fellowship opportunities) a woman can find more time to be diligently devoted to what God REALLY has for her in a day.
God gave us all 24 hours, and He didn’t intend that we worked from sun up to midnight when we pass out from sheer exhaustion, just to get up and do it all again 7 days a week. He intended for us to be able to find rest in Him, to be able to take a Sabbath rest, and to be able to be pleasant. I daresay, if you can’t get it all done, it wasn’t on God’s plan for your day. (Unless of course your major struggle is laziness, in which case…. that’s a whole OTHER issue.) Our culture promotes the “work till you drop” mentality, and the “super mom” and the busy-ness of life mentality. But we don’t have to conform to the race of the world…. more, faster, “better”…. we should do what we can handle with excellence/faithfulness, in a peaceful demeanor… then perhaps, as the Lord grows us, we will be able to do more, we may become more efficient and faster, and indeed things may get better… but it will be on HIS time, with our right attitudes, and godly relationships within the family (and without).
God bless,
Mrs.Momof6
Amy says
Yes, agreed!
CW says
Thanks for the inspiration. Very encouraging!
kelli- AdventurezInChildRearing says
I need to plan and prepare my children’s rooms & clothing right now- we have old toys, clothes and shoes that I need to clear out to be more organized – just struggling with my energy – working on my health 😉 you’ve encouraged me to go at that little at a time – and make them HELP me! 😉
Naomi M says
Thank you for this, it applies to some of the very things I am trying to (with God’s help) work though;. Very encouraging to read this morning. 🙂
Alice says
Please somebody pray for me! I CAN’T do it all! This post is so timely for me, because I am just in despair over “it all”, and have been for many weeks. I have no idea what to even do, to make things work in all areas. I like the examples with the solution, benefit and time taken, but for me this is somehow missing the implementation “how to”, which is key for this mama! Like the house cleaning – “one hour to plan and explain each person’s chores…” But then how does it suddenly jump to “benefits – the house is clean for the weekend…” when my baby won’t stop crying, my toddler climbs the furniture or makes a new mess within seconds of me turning my back eleventy-million times a day, the 3 and 4 year olds are in desperate need of training that I can’t seem to get consistent time to do, and are constantly getting off track and fighting or whining over things, and my 6 and 7 year olds are not obedient to me when I try to get them to do chores. Or they DO, but with a bad attitude, so correcting that takes up all of my time (while the baby cries, the toddler climbs, the little ones bicker, the schooling doesn’t happen, and dinner gets later and later).
I just plain do. not. know. how on earth to pull everything together, and I can’t seem to be consistent in any area, at all. Not only is the house in a really bad way, but I haven’t done a full week of school with both my older children since MAY, before the baby was born (he’s 4 months old now), although I am getting maths done with my eldest most days right now, as our only school focus.
I’m tired all the time, my head whirls in a sea of no-answers when I have to make even a simple decision about something, and my patience is thin. I was hoping it was a temporary blip, but the weeks and months are passing now, and I’m starting to feel panicked about it. How does anyone DO it?! People do, and I watch them do so (and even read advice, like here with this blog post), but I can’t actually put it into practice when I try to think. I don’t know where to start, or how to implement without something else falling down – like pulling a random stick from the pile without disturbing all the others. I have no idea what I’m doing!!!!
I would so appreciate prayer!
Mrs. Mom of 6 says
I’ve prayed for you, and I’ve felt how you feel. I have a 9yo, 6, 5, 3, 18m and a new baby coming. We homeschool, and I have both a highly gifted and spectrum child. I went through a period last year after MY last baby was born, where my head was spinning just as you say, I couldn’t make the simplest decision. I want to encourage you, this is a SEASON, your life isn’t going to feel like this forever. Your oldest is only 7? You are in the hardest season of mothering (IMO), where everyone needs your immediate attention, and not one of them is sufficiently independent. Here are some tips:
Keep your strongest focus on training the oldest kids to be helpful. Even if you can’t train the baby and toddler to mind you, you MUST train the olders. By giving them the strongest focus you pay out the biggest dividends, because they set the example and tone for the others.
Get rid of things in the house that cause strife, or that you can’t keep picked up. Your kids are NOT going to suffer because they don’t have toys. In fact, in our house we find it cuts down on fighting, and fosters imagination and friendship building between siblings. In the end (or a few years), you can always get more things as your family is able to take care of them.
Start with YOU. You need to be eating well, healthy foods, very little sugar (it contributes to mood swings), high fat (it helps the brain function)… coconut oil, lard, and real butter always help. Get sleep, I know, you have a 4 m old! No matter what it takes get yourself to bed as often as possible, preferably by 9pm. You HAVE to get more sleep, so your adrenals can recover from the stress of a: pregnancy, b:being awakened for years, c: daily stress… etc.
I know you feel like its never going to get better, but the better part is on the horizon. When the older kids are JUST A LITTLE older, they are going to suddenly be much more capable. When your littles are just a little bit older, its suddenly going to get easier, even if you have yet another little one. I finally can breathe on Sunday mornings, because my two oldest kids are finally capable of helping reliably with the little kids. We started “partners” 1.5 years ago, and it was very crazy at first. I had then a 8y, 5,3,2, and newborn. I thought I was going to lose my mind! Every Sunday morning I had to dress two girls, and a baby, myself and iron my husband’s shirt and my son’s… make breakfast, nurse, potty the toddler, etc etc etc, I thought I was going MAD every day. But now, just barely a year and a half later, all of my kids dress themselves, except the toddler, and he gets dressed by his big brother who’s now 9.
We still have days of “momma insanity”, but they are fewer and farther between. And I can see the light on the horizon, when it will REALLY be much easier. Not too long from now, my second born is going to be capable of doing what my first born does. I have enough head space to teach my kids to have right relationships, and to properly train them to do the chores, etc. I still lag on energy alot, and I have to force myself to get enough sleep, and eat right. We still have few possessions, and I find it a blessing. I’m even thinking of getting rid of more things, because the relationships between my kids have improved so much, they play well together, making up games etc.
I hope that this is encouraging. You’re almost to the easier part… even though right now it seems like it will NEVER get easier. Keep praying and trying to rest in Him. God bless! I’d leave my email, except there are too many “bots” picking them up, so if you ask Amy for it, I’m sure she could send it your way.
In Christ,
Mrs. Mom…
Amy says
Absolutely willing to pass on an email address if you’d like to connect with someone whose situation is closer to your own.
maria says
oh dear – this is exactly what I feel like most days; the house is a mess, the kids are constantly fighting or wrecking the house, the toddler goes potty by himself and empties the diaper on the kitchen floor all the while lunch is burning on the stove and the older one is trying to get help with some math problem. Help – insanity is JUST around the corner….the only thing is: I HAVE ONLY GOT THREE KIDS!!! (that is, I have 4, but with a huge gap between the two first, so I don’t “count” the eldest in, since she is virtually never anything but a help :))
And yet, I related so much to this, Alice – and to your story of earlier days, mom of 6. I feel a bit ashamed though, that I can feel this way with only 3 to manage. But the thing is, I have a bit of an issue with my 4yo these days, she is a VERY strong and independent person, and will not take no for an answer (I have NOT experienced this with neither the big girl or 2d born son). Anyway, long story short, I need to follow her around – but also the toddler, to effectively train consistently, and the 7yo needs very much presence as well to direct his energy and help him find constructive outlets…and even with just 3, well, I can’t be in more than one place at a time 😉
So I’m at my wits end trying to figure out just HOW to spend the time necessary with each one, both for training but also just nice time together, kwim? Actually, I have always thought it must be easier to have children very close in age, as my main problem has always been and still is, that my kids are so far apart in age that they are at so many different maturity levels. I guess there are challenges to both situations 🙂
Oh I long for that “peaceful haven where the kids are playing nicely and the lovely scent of a delicious roast in the oven greets daddy when he gets home from work” – aaaaah, ROFL, I wonder if it will ever happen around here. I often feel like I fall into bed completely worn out mentally and physically, thinking I cannot do this again tomorrow. Yet, by the grace of God, I wake up every morning with renewed determination to hang in there and not let the Devil get our souls. This too shall pass, I must keep faith in Him who strengthens me 🙂 Blessings through it all from a sister in Christ.
Mrs. Mom of 6 says
I saw your comment come up, and just thought you might find this website valuable: http://www.raisinggodlytomatoes.com
She recommends keeping the kids with you, so you don’t have to follow them to train them, they follow YOU. I have found this to be IMMENSELY helpful, and it allows you to focus on teaching the older child, without overlooking the youngers. You may find her site, forum, or book to be quite helpful to you.
God bless,
Mrs. Mom of 6
maria says
thanks 🙂
yes I have read a bit there before, and she does have some good advice.
today was a very good day, thanks to the grace of God they happen once in a while and allow me to think “yes, i WILL see the end of the tunnel at some point” – then I need to reflect on what exactly made it a good day and what we did differently…to do more of that!
blessings to you,
maria
Amy says
Praying, Alice! I will admit, with a house full of only littles (yes, 6 and 7 year olds are still littles), the amount of things you can tackle in a day is greatly reduced because you have to spend a considerable amount of time training and doing most of the work yourself. When my children were that age, there was no way I could do a one day house cleaning. It had to be broken up in pieces (you can find that schedule here: https://raisingarrows.net/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/Weekly-Chore-List.pdf ) We cleaned, then did school, then cleaned again before Daddy came home. I implemented a daily mandatory rest time just so everyone would take a break and I could just sit and breathe. A wise older mama told me to hang in there until my oldest was 9 and things would begin to change. She was right! Slowly, but surely, I saw changes and more maturity. I just kept plugging away and praying. (HUGS) – you CAN do this! But, it won’t look like my day because while I have a lot of littles, I also have 2 big kids. So, no comparisons…okay? Pray about what God needs you to be doing right now, ask your husband what he needs you to be doing right now, and then work through solutions.
Blessings,
Amy
Josi says
I only have three kids but mine came super close together, along with many health struggles, long work hours for my husband, a small, old house, then homeschooling, etc… so I can identify with much of this. I think the above advice is wonderful. I’m going to add in one of my own if it’s okay: Now that I have two daughters that are older, who are living in a house without “littles”, I long for them to have the experience that some girls are getting with younger siblings. Maybe there is a mama close to you that has some older homeschool girls that could come over to read books, play toys, even do some school help, etc. There just may be someone like me out there that would have a daughter that could bless you and in turn you would give that girl some experience with the “littles.” And, by the way, this too shall pass, and it turns out it passes in a strange quick sort of way. Even in the craziness, be intentional about taking note and enjoying things along the way. They do grow up so fast!… my oldest starts driver’s ed tomorrow. WHAT?!!
Lauren says
Thank you for this! So many helpful tips in one post!
A short while ago a few ladies all told me they were amazed at how I could ‘fit in’ making my children’s clothes. A little later the conversation moved to all of the television shows they mutually enjoyed. (I stopped watching television about a year ago, that’s how I ‘fit’ things in!) We all make choices. May God give us the wisdom to make wise ones!
Josi says
This is more good encouragement. There are always areas that can use some tweaking. I drastically changed/eliminated some things this year in our schedule and it is so wonderful. We are home more and I am better able to get to laundry and food prep and even hospitality. I like what Mrs. Mom of 6 said. I think we have to be careful to not buy into the doing too much routine. Why does our society pride itself on this crazy lifestyle? I once heard someone on the radio say that we don’t have time each day to do everything we want to do but we do have time to get everything done that God wants us to do. I think we’re not always good at asking the Lord what it is He has planned for our day.
Anita says
Thank you Amy… yet again another timely post, right when I’ve been seeking the Lord about plans and preparedness. You are such a blessing! May the blessing return to you a hundredfold 🙂 xxxxx