I told you I’ve been working through some difficult words lately. A couple of weeks ago, I wrote about the difficult words “self denial.”. Today’s difficult word is
As a culture, we despise authority. There is no reverence or awe of anyone. We are cynical, often with good cause. Let’s face it, authority figures have let us down. Our heroes turn out to be zeroes, our rose-colored glasses get stomped on, and we figure there isn’t anyone out there worthy of our respect.
What we forget is that we are human…and so are they.
We take this cynicism even further. We plop it down smack-dab in the middle of our homes. As wives, we figure as soon as our husbands are perfect, we’ll obey him. Until then, we’ll just do things our way.
Recently, I was watching The Return of the Daughters, an excellent documentary on the lives of daughters who have chosen to stay at home until they marry. (I purchased my copy from Vision Forum.) In this DVD, one of the fathers, Scott Brown, speaks of his desire to teach his daughter that he is imperfect and that she will marry an imperfect man as well.
It was fascinating to me that this man would have that kind of insight into a woman’s mind and heart.
You see, we women have a propensity to believe the best kind of men show up on white horses, sweep us off our feet, and dote on us day and night the rest of our lives. We’ve either read way too many romance novels or we have a skewed view of who men really are (or both!). We live in a fantasy world in which WE are the center of attention and all is just as WE would have it.
Once again, I am back at self-denial.
Selfishness abounds when a woman looks at her husband and believes him to be a bumbling idiot, incapable of making sound decisions, and therefore, undeserving of her obedience. However, if she cannot (or will not) obey her earthly “head,” how in the world will she ever learn to obey her heavenly One?
The truth of the matter is, she’s NOT obeying God when she usurps her husband and dominates over him.
She can make all the excuses in the world as to why she can’t or shouldn’t or won’t obey her husband’s wishes, but it does not change the fact that God put a certain headship order in place and there are very few exceptions to the rule.
A woman’s purposeful and cheerful obedience to her husband is also purposeful and cheerful obedience to her God.
Here’s an even harder truth:
Do you see disobedience in your children? Any chance it looks familiar? Any chance it resembles your spirit and attitude toward your husband?
I see my own attitudes and feelings magnified in my children. When my son makes a huffy comment about his daddy, I can almost always draw a straight line from his words back to my attitudes. Perhaps I was curt or grouchy, perhaps I made some smart aleck comment, perhaps I simply dropped my shoulders and walked away without answering him. Even if the children don’t see and hear everything I say and do, they can still feel the presence of disobedience when it permeates the home.
The tone of the household is set by mother. The old saying, “If Mama ain’t happy, ain’t no one happy,” isn’t all that far from the truth. However, what this saying fails to mention is that Mama can CHOOSE to be happy or she can CHOOSE to be a drippy-faucet of disobedience, tearing at the very fabric of her home with her words and attitudes.
It is imperative we learn to be obedient…not because someone is making us, but because we recognize the necessity of cheerful obedience to the health of our spiritual and earthly lives. The sooner we EMBRACE obedience, the sooner we will find true happiness.